Fearful Addiction
by lizzie-kurae
Summary: She feels alone, and scared, but she can live with it. What worries her is that now,she can't seem to live without what scares her most. A FlippyxFlaky love story :3
1. Chapter 1

**Hello~**

**Welcome to my story. FxF. They are supposed to look human. I also changed their names. And finally, I apologize if it ends up being too OOC. **

**I really hope you like it and that you review whatever you want, all critics are welcome since I don't think I'm really good at writing so I won't get mad if you help me to improve, just try to be nice :'D**

The names will be:

Flaky- **Fay**

Giggles- **Gili**

Flippy - **Filip**

Petunia - **Petunia**

Russell - **Russell**

Nutty – **Neal**

Cuddles - **Cody**

Sniffles- **Stephen**

Lammy- **Lannie**

Splendid - **Spencer**

Shifty - **Shinji**

Lifty - **Liam**

Lumpy - **Lumpkin**

(Just got them all from a baby's name webpage so don't be too picky about it :P and I'll add more characters eventually if I need them)

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><p><em>So, here we go …again. <em>She sighed. It wasn't like she had a wonderful life in the city, but at least it felt safer, and less…boring. She was moving back to this little town, Happy Tree. Because of her mom she traveled a lot, and they lived here for 2 months, but that was 10 years ago, and it was just creepy. There was always this dark raining sky, no many people on the streets, it felt like a horror movie scenario, and she didn't like it, at all.

The city where she was living was okay, at least she was already used to it, since she and her mom were there for whole 4 years; that was a new record, and it was way better than that crappy little town. Her mom was a ballet teacher, she was very good at it back when she was young, but she got pregnant with Fay and all her dreams faded away. She usually taught in schools to little girls, Fay didn't even know why her mom couldn't keep a job.

Actually, she knew. It was because she was always more worried about her current boyfriend than by herself and Fay; and if things didn't work, or if the guy turned out to be a creep they would just run away and find a new place to move. Fay wasn't sure if all guys in the world were that bad or if it was only her mom who wasn't able to date a decent man, she didn't know much about guys anyways and wasn't interested on finding out.

Moving so often didn't bother Fay as much as it may look like, but she would like to have a more normal life; she didn't make much of a progress at the last place, she didn't make many friends, neither did she get to be known for doing something important but at least she knew the city, she knew the places she liked to visit…quite places mostly, to sit and read a good book, she knew the people she could talk to, she knew the people she wouldn't like to talk to, she knew the places she wanted to run away from, she knew the places where she could run away to. It was something, she was always lonely, but she was happy there, happier than in any other place, happier than here.

"Fay…Fay...God! KID! We arrived!" Her mom snapped her out of her thoughts and she jumped a little from the seat. The woman just rolled her eyes being used to his absentminded and jumpy daughter but still annoyed by it. "It's just me! Gosh. Now, get out of the car and help me with the boxes".

She had always been a scaredy cat, she didn't know what was wrong with her, but it's hard to get over your fears when you have no one around to help you with that. They were in front of the 'new' house. It was painted in an awful gray color. Door, windows and garage in a boring brown. '_But hey! There is a rusty swing in the garden, yeah…pretty'._ Fay thought.

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><p>There was a week of unpacking, organizing and boxes all over the place. The entire house was so dark, and…old. Luckily she got a bedroom with a big window to the garden so the few light that came from the sky could come throughout the room. She didn't like dark places, they were so frightening.<p>

The room was okay, after organizing her clothes and cleaning all the dust, it didn't look so bad. She went down stairs to pick up her books and get them on her room but she was starving so she walked to the kitchen first. Her mom was on a free day so she was at home. Fay took some cereals and milk in a bowl and walked out of the kitchen.

"Hmm…did I tell you that you'll start school next Monday?" Asked her mom while serving herself some coffee.

"No, you didn't, but I supposed it was soon". Fay answered quietly as she walked back to the kitchen.

It was merely obvious that she was going to start school the next week since luckily they moved to Happy Tree in vacation season so she would start her junior year there, which was good because she hated when she was the new girl in the middle of the semester so it would make her presence even more obvious, hence everyone would stare at her as though she were a circus attraction. She really hated being in the limelight.

"Yeah, well…now you know. And what are you doing? Why don't you go out for a while and try to know the place".

She let the bowl on the kitchen, grabbed a jacket and went out of the house without saying a word. Even if it was cold outside the fresh air felt good on her skin. She needed to get out of the house for a while. Anyway, her mom couldn't stand having Fay around for a long time. However, Fay didn't think of her as a bad mother, she had never abandoned her or hit her or anything like that, she gave her what she needed to live, even though Fay knew she didn't like her because she stole her dreams away from her, so they just ignored each other, she was already used to it. But she would rather to live alone; it would be more peaceful, she wouldn't feel like she was a burden for someone. As for her father, she knew nothing about him, nor a name, nor a picture, nor a place to look for him… she used to ask about him since it's normal for a kid to wonder about it, but her mom told her not to, so she didn't do it anymore, it didn't matter, he hadn't look for her either, so, it was okay like that.

After few minutes of walking she spotted a small coffee shop so she got in for something to eat. It looked like one of those abandoned places in the middle of nowhere in some road. Like all in the town, old and dusty.

A little bell rang when she opened the door. There were two old men in a table drinking coffee and talking, in a corner a woman, reading a magazine and eating a sandwich, and that was all. She sat on a table near to the window.

The waitress came to her, a middle aged woman, with her hair tied up and a yellow apron around her waist. "Hello darling, do you want something to eat or maybe a soda?" She said wearing a warm smile.

"Can I see the menu?" Fay asked shyly while biting her bottom lip a little.

"Well, we don't have a lot to offer at this hour, we just have coffee, ham sandwich and soda, so, what would it be?" The waitress said ready to write the order on a little notebook even though she wouldn't write anything on it since there was no need for it.

"Ok…I want a sandwich and a coke please"

"In a minute" the waitress said smiling as she walked back to the kitchen.

Fay was pleased to find that people seemed to be nice in the new place. She had only talked with the waitress, but it was good enough, a nice first encounter was always good.

The little bell on the door rang again, she looked at it to see a pink haired girl with a red ribbon on her hair walking in happily, singing a song she didn't know. The girl looked surprised when she saw Fay so she looked away, out of the window blushing a little.

Being perfectly aware of her position as the new girl, she thought that even so, that girl didn't have to look at her like she was some circus freak or something. Fay saw her walking to the table where the woman with the magazine was sitting at.

"Mom!" the girl said giggling.

"Oh, hi Gili, did you bring me what I asked you?

The red haired girl focused in watching out the window, not wanting to overhear others' conversation.

"Here you are sweetie, ham sandwich and coke." The waitress said as she put the plate on the table along with the soda.

"Oh, thank you very much." Fay said smiling at her. The waitress went back to talk with the two man that were at the other side of the place.

"Okay mom, I'll be home soon, don't worry." Fay heard the girl saying to her mom as the woman walked out of the door.

Now the girl was standing next to Fay and she looked at her sheepishly.

"Can I sit with you?" The girl asked smiling while looking into the empty seat in front of Fay.

"Of-of course, if you want to."

"Are you new here? Are you going to live in the town or are you just visiting?" Bright green eyes, wide in emotion, stared at Fay waiting for an answer.

"Well, y-yes, I'm living her, I-I just moved in with my mom. I already knew this place since I lived here for two months but that was like ten years ago, so…yes, th-that's it." Fay smiled at her feeling a little blush on her cheeks.

"Really? That's so cool! We don't have new people around here very often, we gonna be great friends, oh…I'm Gili by the way, nice to meet you." She said still smiling joyfully.

"Fay. Ni-nice to meet you too."

"Huh…do you go the Happy Tree High School?" Fay added a little less anxious now.

"Yes! Of course, since it's the only high school around here, you're going there too, right? This is great! I have a new friend to show off." The girl said laughing as Fay nodded surprised.

Gili looked so pretty, like a little and innocent kid in a candy store with her green eyes shining in emotion, Fay couldn't believe she was so happy over her being the new girl in town. She assumed nothing very exciting happened around there, ever.

"And where are you living Fay?" Gili said as she played with one strand of her hair.

"Oh …Hmm, d-do you know that big playground that has that large tree just in the middle of it?"

It was the only park for kids there actually, in the center of town.

"Of course I know it! So you are staying at that gray house in front of the park I suppose since it was the only vacant house around there." Gili said with a wide smile.

"Yes! That's the one."

After talking for a whole hour they went out of the coffee shop. Gili was nice and caring, Fay really liked her and hopped them to be great friends as Gili had said. They interchanged cell numbers as they walked through the obscure streets, it was getting late.

"I live one street down your house, so we can walk to school together!" Gili said as they got to the corner of the park.

"Ye…yes, of course."

"Okay! Then I'll come for you at 8:30 on Monday." They pink haired stated as she ran down the street. Fay waved smiling at her and went into the house.

Nothing interesting happened on weekend. Even so, she was really excited for going to school and meeting Gili again, maybe her staying there wasn't going to be such a bother.

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><p>Fay woke up early in the morning and got ready for school. She wore a black strappy shirt with an oversized purple blouse over, it came down in one side showing one of her shoulders and the sleeves covered her hands. Light blue skinny jeans and black converse. Her hair was a bit messy as always. It was long and red, kind of curly but not too much. She didn't really hate it though sometimes she found some little papers or leaves tangled on it, she didn't even know how they got to her hair.<p>

She gazed at her image in the mirror. Her skin was pale white and she had beautiful amber big eyes, a pretty and childish face and her red shining hair matched really well with her skin, although she didn't think of herself as pretty, just too regular and plain.

Fay ran down the stairs and went to the kitchen to drink only a cup of coffee, she didn't want to eat anything else since she was too nervous. She heard someone knocking on the door and jumped from the seat while feeling butterflies going like crazy in her stomach. She took a deep encouraging breath and walked to the door.

"Good morning~ Oh, you look so cute. Ready for first day of class?" A slightly hyper Gili asked, smiling happily at Fay who nodded.

"Oh, this is so great, my friends are gonna love you, I can't wait to introduce you to them, I think you're going to like the school." Said the pink haired girl while clapping her hands excited.

"Wha...what if we aren't in the same classes." Fay asked looking down at her shoes.

"What? No! I hadn't thought about that." Gili said, she really wanted to be friends with Fay, and it wasn't just because she wanted to show off being friends with the new girl but she really liked her, Fay looked like such a sweet and caring girl, besides, she was completely willing to help her adapt to the new school.

"Well, I guess I can talk with Mr. Lumpkin if we aren't in same classes, I can tell him I just want to help you."

"Do you think that will work?" Fay asked looking at Gili's eyes and smiling a bit.

"Yes, of course! I just have to put up my puppy eyes." Gili replied giggling, seeing how Fay looked happy now. "You have to meet with him anyway as soon as we get to school, you will see he's such a nice man."

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><p><em>'Calm down, calm down…Gili said he was nice'<em>.

"If you want to I can go in with you." Gili said trying to comfort Fay seeing how she was so nervous about talking with the school's principal.

"N-no, don't worry! I'll be fine, hehe." Fay said smiling. It was so embarrassing to be so worry over a stupid thing like talking with the principal.

"Fay?" A tall blue haired man walked out the door of the office, looking at Fay with a wide smile. He looked kind of goofy as his hair was all put back with gel and the knot of his tie wasn't done in the right way but he seemed like a really nice person.

"Ye-yes! Good morning, I…I'm the new student so I came for my schedule and to turn in m-my papers."

"Of course darling, I was waiting for you, come in." She stood up from the seat and followed Mr. Lumpkin.

"Take a sit please…So how are you doing?" He asked while taking the papers Fay was giving to him and tipping her information on the computer.

"It-it has been very nice, I didn't think I would like it here but the people in Happy Tree are really nice."

"So have you made friends already?" He asked looking at her over the frame of his glasses with a bit of a smirk on his face.

"Well…yes I met a really nice girl on Friday and she's helped me with everything."

"I'm pleased to hear that". He affirmed as he grabbed a paper from the printer. "Here you are, this is your schedule, all the classrooms and classes are there, you would have to choose a complementary class though, but that will be next week, any question you might have about it or about anything else please feel free to come and ask me and I'll be willing to help you, ok?" He said looking at her warmly as she nodded.

"Thank you very much!" Fay said as she walked out of the office.

"Okay, see you later, have a nice day".

She closed the door after her to see Gili smiling and holding out her hands asking for Fay's schedule to see if they had classes together. "See! See! I knew it! He put you in the same classes I am!"

"Re-Really? Wow, he really is nice." Fay's eyes now sparkling with emotion as the two of them walked to the halls of the school.

As the three first classes went by Fay could met some of Gili's friends. There was Cody, a blond guy with honey like eyes, kind of short, dressed with a skater like style which explained the skateboard he was carrying with him when she met him. He was really nice to Fay and for a moment she was sure he was Gili's boyfriend. They just gave off that vibe but later Gili denied Fay's suppositions, clearly feeling a little ashamed.

Then, there was Petunia, a pretty blue haired girl with a small flower shaped pin holding some strands of her long hair at one side, she looked like someone obsessed with her appearance but she was a really pleasant girl. There was also Russell. He looked kind of frightening for Fay with his punk rocker style in his light blue hair and cloths and some piercings on his face and ears but he was really kind offering himself to help her with anything she needed.

Finally, there was Stephen, a guy looked like the smart and kind of geek type. He wore black framed glasses and seemed to be a bit arrogant.

Everything went well the first hours of school, Fay was enjoying her time there, she couldn't believe this town was so good, just the people being so nice to her, thanks to Gili of course, but it made things much better. Gili said that some of her friends were in other classes but they always met at the cafeteria for lunch so Fay would meet them all.

The bell rang announcing the end of biology class. It was time for break so Fay picked up her books and walked with Gili and Stephen towards the door.

"Hmm, Gili…where is the library?" Fay asked looking at her friend.

"What? The library? Aren't you going to go for lunch with us?" Gili said as she stood now in the middle of the hallway staring at Fay.

"Y-yes! I mean…I just want to check if I can borrow a book, I will be with you just in time." Fay added while fidgeting nervously.

"Oh…well, if it's like that I'll go with you." Gili said holding Fay's hand and starting to walk again.

"Actually…" Stephen said "I'm going to the library now to pick some biology books so I can start reading about this week lessons, so I can show you where it is."

"Ye-yeah…thank you! You don't have to worry Gili, go ahead I'll reach you in a moment, I already know where the cafeteria is anyway."

"Hmm…okay." Gili smiled at Fay and walked to her locker to put her books in it. "I'll be waiting for you, don't take too long, ok?" Fay nodded to her and turned around to Stephen as he leaded her to the library.

He explained to her where all the sections were and how she could borrow a book talking a bit too fast but enough for Fay to recollect the information she needed. She went to the Novels section and looked for The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, her favorite book when she was a child. After finding out she had lost her copy between movings, she remembered how good it was, wanting to read it again.

After finishing with her search, Fay realized she had definitely lost Stephen as she couldn't see him anywhere, so she decided to go and look for the cafeteria. Probably Gili was already impatient waiting for her.

She walked through the cafeteria door while looking down at the book in her hands, happy that she had found it. Suddenly, there was a dizzying feeling as she nearly fell backwards. It happened because she had inadvertently bumped into someone, dropping her book.

"S-sorry!" She almost screamed leaning down to pick up her book feeling now a burning blush on her cheeks_._

"Are you okay?"

She hadn't realized he was leaning down in front of her, trying to help her as she felt her hand on his, because, well, she hadn't seen that he was already picking up the book for her. She was still looking at the book, now at both of their hands, feeling as if she was going to pass out of embarrassment.

Still trying to focus her vision she met with military boots, camouflage pants, black t-shirt, and dog tags holding from his neck.

'_What is it? Did I accidentally go to the army instead of the school cafeteria?'_ She though, now looking up at him, finding shining dark green eyes staring at her with a worried expression. He helped her to stand up.

"Y...yes, I'm truly sorry, I-I didn't want to-"

"Don't worry, it was nothing," He said smiling. "I think I haven't seen you before." The boy added while gazing at her curiously.

"Hmm…yes, I-I just moved in." She said sheepishly looking at him, his eyes looking into hers warmly as he smiled.

"What is it? What happened here? Who the hell is she?" A girl appeared right behind him looking up and down at Fay with a hatred stare. She had purple hair that matched with her eyes, and even though they were sharp they looked pretty whit her thick eyelashes, pale skin and soft pink lips.

He sighed, now covering his face with his hand then letting it go down as he looked back at the girl.

"Nothing. Nothing happened Lannie."

Fay just stood there, her eyes wide as she looked at the two of them confused with what was happening.

"See you around, I guess and sorry for throwing your book." He said as he walked pass the two girls not looking at any of them.

Lannie looked one more time at Fay making it clear that she didn't like her and then going after him.

"Wh-what was that?" She asked herself. Then, she realized that everyone on the cafeteria was staring at her.

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><p><strong>Thats it! First chap. Please review! <strong>**^o^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is a new chapter!**

**Thank you to HTFruler123 and Legalkol for your reviews, it really made me happy, my first reviews *O* ..and I will continue, I'm really enjoying writing this story ^^**

Names on this chapter:

Flaky- **Fay**

Giggles- **Gili**

Flippy - **Filip**

Petunia - **Petunia**

Nutty – **Neal**

Sniffles- **Stephen**

Lammy- **Lannie**

Splendid - **Spencer**

Shifty - **Shinji**

Lifty - **Liam**

Lumpy – **Mr. ****Lumpkin**

Handy – **Harrie**

Pop – **Mr. Pop**

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><p>Fay sighed; there was nothing to do anymore so she just walked nervously to where Gili was with some other people, all of them looking at her. '<em>Was it that bad?'<em> She thought. Maybe they didn't want to talk to her anymore.

"H-hi!" Fay said with a nervous laugh and looking down at her feet.

"Are you okay? What did he tell you?" Gili jumped out of her seat holding Fay's hands. Fay looked into Gili's worried eyes tilting her head a bit confused.

"Wha...Wh-who?"

"Him, Filip, the green haired guy, did he do something to you?"

"No…wh-why would he do something to me? I just bumped into him"

"Oh…Okay" Gili sat down and Fay sat next to her.

"Wh-what happened?" Fay asked to Gili wide eyed, she didn't understand her behavior. Gili just smiled at her.

"Nothing!...Neal, Liam, Shinji, she's Fay, my new friend, she's great and cute so treat her well" Said Gili lively and Fay smiled at them with a faint blush on her cheeks.

"Ohhh, you were lucky back there. You could have got killed" Liam said, then, Petunia who was sitting next to him, smacked him on the head.

"Shut up!" She said growling at him.

"Ouch! What! It's true, if it wasn't him, Lannie would do it anyway for getting close to him" He said rubbing the place where she hit him.

"Di-did I do something wrong?" Fay's eyes nothing but confused as she looked at them. Gili sighed.

"It's nothing, it's just…he's kind of dangerous, try to not bump into him again" Gili said kindly.

"What? Dangerous? Wh-what do you mean?" Fay asked, her voice cracked a little, she couldn't help to be nervous about those words.

"She's talking about Filip…and Lannie" Petunia talked looking at Fay "But don't be so worry, it's just he's a bit violent and get often into fights and that kind of things, not many people talk to him since sometimes he's nice but then he would scream at you as if he wanted to punch you or something, on the other hand… Lannie has a major crush on him, so she gets mad if she believes you are even looking at him" Petunia said smiling at Fay, trying to comfort her so she didn't get so scared.

"A bit violent? Ha! He could kill you if you get him mad, he had done it before" Shinji said to Fay making things worse, everybody else narrowing their eyes at him "What? It's true, is better for her to know so she doesn't get into any danger"

"K…kill?" Fay said swallowing and feeling lump on her throat.

Gili looked at her. "Look…people say he killed someone three years ago, before coming here, but that's just a rumor, though he gets into fights and gets mad over nothing some times, but you don't have to worry, he's not going to kill you or something, don't listen to them, you would be fine as long as you stay away from those two".

"O-okay. But if he is like that why he hasn't been expelled?" Fay asked as she gave the first bite to the apple Gili had given to her.

"Hmm…he's Mr. Lumpkin nephew and Lumpkin thinks everyone has a good side, he's way too good some times, that's why" Answered Petunia.

"Oh…"

The rest of lunch went just fine; they all were really nice to Fay so she was really happy for making new friends. There were only three more classes to go and then home...

That night Fay had a nightmare, she didn't remember what it was about, she just woke up with a gasp. She was sweating and breathing heavily, luckily it was about time to get up and get ready for school, but what was it that made her so scare? She usually had nightmares when there was something bothering her, but she would always remember the dream and she didn't wake up like that, was it that bad? It was probably just a Night Terror, but she hadn't have one of those in months. Maybe it was for the best not remembering what it was about, all she could remember was darkness.

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><p>"Hey, Fay!" She looked around when she heard someone calling her name between the noises of everyone else chatting before math class.<p>

"Sorry for yesterday I just got lost into some really interesting books, then I forgot about you" Stephen said while sitting next to Fay.

"No, don't worry. It was okay, I found what I was looking for anyway" She said sheepishly smiling at him, she wasn't even expecting him to wait for her or guide her or something like that.

"But, I'm really sorry, they told me what happened to you, I think it was part of my fault, because I let you all alone" He apologized but he wasn't looking at her, he was more into the math book reading three lessons ahead from class.

"It was nothing, really, you don't need to apologize Stephen" She said, not paying much attention to him, she was okay and he had more important things to do.

* * *

><p>"Aww, that's so cute" Gili was looking at the new necklace Petunia was wearing.<p>

"Yes! I was so excited, he just came to my house yesterday and I was so nervous but then he told me he wanted to give me something and when I saw it I almost jumped onto him, but I didn't, of course" Petunia said while laughing, a slight blush on her cheeks. She was telling how this guy, Harrie, gave her a present out of nowhere so Fay and Gili were waiting for her to say they were already dating.

"So…? Did he ask you? To go out with him?" Gili asked with a wide smirk on her face.

"Not really" Petunia answered, it was clear she was disappointed because of it. "I don't know what it takes him so long, I mean, if he gave me such a gift it means he likes me right?" The two girls nodded but didn't say anything.

"Anyway, he told me to go with him this Saturday to an exposition, something with exotic flowers, I like flowers so I want to go and I really think he's gonna ask me there"

They were heading to the school's backyard because there they'd have to choose an extra subject; it was like joining a club, just that it was an obligatory credit so it was mandatory to pick one.

There were different kind of sports and arts, teachers and students who were in charge of each, promoting all the classes. Fay didn't know what to pick, she hadn't any special talent so she wasn't really good at any of the things she was seeing, there were so many to chose but she was still clueless about what to do, there was nothing she was interested in.

"Have seen anything you like?" Asked Gili while watching all the people surrounding them and talking, she had already picked painting, apparently she was skillful on the subject and Petunia had already gone to join the girls basketball team.

"Hmm…I'm so lost. I'd choose cooking but I'd make the school explode" She said smiling nervously. She'd always actually wanted to learn how to cook, but when she said she'd make something explode it was for real, so she'd rather to keep it safe and think about other option. Then, she spotted him.

There was a guy sitting alone at the corner reading a book, at one side a sign that said 'Literature', and that was all. She left Gili talking with other people saying she'd check something.

When she approached him he lifted his gaze from the book and to her. "Are you interested?" He said smiling widely.

"Uh..Hmm, yes. I mean…ar-are you promoting a Literature club or something?" She was biting her index finger to calm herself down a little. He only found her attitude amusing and gave her a sweet look.

"Well, yes" He chuckled and handed her a registration paper. "I'll warn you first, this is not a very popular matter, you know? We don't have a lot of members like the other clubs and we don't have any meetings and so, the only good thing about it is that you would have complete access to the library and you can borrow as many books as you like, join it only if you like to read, though some people join us only because they don't want to do anything, if that's your case it doesn't bother me at all anyway" He looked at her waiting for her to talk, but she was only staring at the paper the whole time as if expecting it to do something.

"I-I do like to read" She finally spoke softly.

"That's great, you could read in your free time if you want to, you only have to hand the paper on Tuesday at the library" She looked at him and blushed a little as he was smiling at her, he had a kind expression but his smile gave him a somehow playful look which make her a bit uncomfortable.

"Are you a member too?" She asked out of curiosity, she sounded like a kid wanting to ask permission shyly. He couldn't believe how adorable she was.

"Not officially…but yeah. I'm a member of the soccer team but I help Mr. Pop with it since no one ever wants to be in charge of the Literature group, he knows me since I was little so he takes advantage of that" He said laughing.

"Oh…ok, th-thank you. I-I finally found something, so…thank you very much" She said smiling, he seemed like a nice guy and she was happy that she could choose something she really liked.

"It was a pleasure to help you. My name is Spencer. Nice to meet you" He knew she was new in the town, anybody would knew it as new people there would catch everyone's attention immediately but he wouldn't make her uncomfortable with questions about it, though he felt tempted to do it. It'd be enjoyable watching more of the cute faces she'd make.

"My name is Fay, ni-nice to meet you too. And thanks again" With that, she went running back to her friends.

* * *

><p>"What were you doing there with Spencer?" Petunia asked Fay with a mischievous smile and her eyes were giving Fay chills.<p>

"I was just….asking to join the Literature group" Fay said looking down to hide the blush all over her face.

"Reaaaally? He looked very interested on you. You know? He is really popular since he is good looking, smart and good at sports, you should take the chance if you get it" She winked at Fay who looked at her wide eyed.

"Wha-what are you talking about, we-we were just talking"

"Relax, I was just playing with you" Petunia, and even Gili were laughing at her.

"It's not that funny" Fay frowned.

"Actually, it is" Gili answered and Fay gave up as she joined them, it was real fun to be with friends talking and laughing.

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><p>"Good morning" Fay greeted the man in charge of the library. His name was Mr. Pop and it was already Tuesday so she had to hand him the registration paper.<p>

"Good morning little on, what can I help you with?" He said while checking some books. Her face twisted slightly at the 'little one' thing, she wasn't a kid anymore, but she didn't want to be rude with him either so she let it pass.

"Hmm, y-yes, I was told to hand you the registration paper"

"Ohh, you are the new girl, Spencer talked to me about you, he said you were cute" Mr. Pop said laughing.

"No, h-he didn't" She mumbled the words and Mr. Pop didn't hear her.

He though Spencer was a good kid and helping him a little would make no harm, besides, the girl was pretty and now was blushing, maybe that was a good sign.

"Oh dear, don't be shy, we all are friends here" He said typing her name on the computer. She didn't know what to say, she didn't want to say anything, so she stayed quiet until he finished.

"And…done! Now you are ready Fay, you can come and visit me anytime"

"Okay, th-thank you very much" She said smiling. Now she had her place, she had only been on the library twice but it seemed like it was pretty lonely so it was perfect for her, she really enjoyed quiet places, and her home wasn't the best place to be at peace so it would be her new place, she could do homework there and she could go anytime she wanted. Not that she didn't like to be with her new friends but she also liked having some alone time once in a while.

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><p>Two days had passed and she'd being staying at the library after school both days, Mr. Pop was more than happy having her there, he was actually a really nice man, and she found herself discussing and asking him for recommendations about what to read. The school library was really complete for being in such a small town, there was nothing she hadn't found there so far.<p>

That day there were a few more people on the library than usual and some of them were on her favorite table so she decided to go to the back. The tables were more far apart from each other on that part and there was only one taken, she sat on the opposite side. Then she realized who the other person was, it was Filip, the guy from the cafeteria.

'_Uh, would it be okay, they said he was dangerous…but they said it wasn't a problem if I stayed away from him, besides he's just there…reading, and I won't be doing any noise' _She was thinking about the situation, he didn't seem too dangerous there, he hadn't even notice her, so she decided to stay.

She got into the book, and then, she fell asleep.

_There was the dream again, darkness all around her, it was a nightmare, all pitch black, her steps echoing every time, she was lost, she didn't know what to do, she didn't know what that place was, she just walked, but there was nothing, she wanted to scream for help, for someone to take her out of it, but her voice didn't come out. Suddenly, she came into something, it was a wall, it felt like metal, It was cold, she let herself fall down and sit against it, she was crying, there was nothing she could do, she would die there, alone. _

She started to open her eyes, it was that nightmare again, it felt awful, her head was aching a little, she was remembering parts of the dream now and buried her face on her hands, then she looked at her side and her eyes shot open, there was Filip, sitting next to her, he was just staring at her.

"Wh..what are you do-doing?" She said, trembling. It was really weird having him looking at her like that.

"Where you having a nightmare?" He said while smirking. He leaned close to her. "It was amusing watching you twitching in fear" He grabbed her chin making her look at him; his face was only a couple inches from her now.

"Uhh.. wh-what are you talking about, please le-let go of me" His smirk was getting wider, she could feel his breath against her skin, she looked at his eyes and got lost into them, his gaze was the scariest thing she'd ever seen, she could see pure madness in them. But how was it that she couldn't stop staring at them, if they frightened her so much, somehow….somehow she was locked into them, her gaze was starting to get blurry with tears, then he let go of her, placing his hand on the table and looking down.

"Ehm…I'm sorry. I scared you there" She looked back at him and he looked normal...then, what was that, was she still having a nightmare? That most be it, probably she was still half asleep and scared.

"No…don't worry, I-I was just having a nightmare..." She gave him half a smile.

"Feeling okay know?" He asked smiling. He didn't seemed scary at all now, was he really that dangerous? He didn't look like a person who would kill someone, a minute ago he did, but that was a delusion, or that was what she hoped.

"Y-yes …thank you" She spoke softly, then he chuckled, making her look back at him. Was he laughing at her now?

"Wh-what?"

"You had a nightmare after reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" He laughed mockingly and louder. "I thought you were reading some horror stuff, but The Wizard of Oz?"

"Ah…well, it-it wasn't because of that" She was blushing now while chewing her index finger again, it helped her when she was nervous.

"Hmm? I'm joking. You didn't tell me your name last time".

"My name is Fay …ni-nice to meet you"

"I'm Filip, I've seen you around here. You are on third year, right?" She nodded. "Well, I'm a senior but if you need anything you can ask me" He lifted from the seat, she was following his every movement, not being sure if it was the fear what made her stare at him, but her thoughts weren't really clear at the moment.

"So, see you later, and don't fall sleep again" He smiled down at her, his look was warm, and she just nodded again.

When Filip disappeared, Fay sighed, that had been weird, she looked at her watch and it was already late, so she picked up her stuffs, said good bye to Mr. Pop on her way out, and headed to her house.

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><p>"You are so going with us, right Fay?" Gili said, they were on break and were planning to hang out on Saturday, but Petunia wasn't going to join them since she and Harrie were already dating so she had a pretty busy schedule now.<p>

"Hmm.." Gili's gazed her intensely, meaning she wouldn't accept a negative. "Y-yes, yes I'll go" Fay finally said.

"Great! I knew you wouldn't say no" It wasn't like she had an option, but it would be fun anyway. "Since some people just forgot completely about us".

"Ohhh, Gili, stop with the drama" Petunia whined. "Next weekend we'll have a girls date, the three of us, what do you think?" She was using her puppy eyes now which make Fay laugh. Gili softened a little.

"Ooookay. But you have to promise, and Fay can't say no to that either" They both nodded, there was no way of refusing her, she was incredibly persistent.

The plan was going for a movie, eat at the mall, and just hang out, the only one who refused aside from Petunia was Stephen, he had to study. It was surprising to Fay how much he was into studying, but if it was what he liked, he probably would enjoy his time doing it, besides, everyone seemed to be used to his personality anyway, since nobody tried to persuade him, not even Gili.

That Friday she didn't meet Filip at the library, but she didn't go to the back of the place either, where he'd probably be. He said he had seen her, so maybe he visited the library often too. She felt tempted to go and check if he was there, but what would she do then? She wouldn't talk to him, she was too scared and confused about what had happened last time. And that was only concerning Filip, she could just imagine what would happen if Lannie found out they were talking. She was still unsure about that day being real or just an illusion, but it had no sense if it was real.

When Fay arrived home the homework was already done, so she organized all her school books and picked out her outfit for the Saturday out with her friends, all was left was to rest. She sat on her bed and decided to watch TV, she was slowing falling asleep, she could see the screen in front of her fading while her brain went on and off between dreams and real life. She finally closed her eyes completely, and then, she saw his eyes again, a black background, like her last dreams, but this time she could see his emerald eyes, staring at her, and they weren't the nice ones that looked at her warmly, smiling, they were the scary ones.

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><p><strong>Done! Review! ^^<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Third Chapter! Hope you enjoy it and thank you again for reviewing and adding as favorite :D**

Names on this chapter:

Flaky- **Fay**

Giggles- **Gili**

Flippy - **Filip**

Cuddles -** Cody**

Petunia - **Petunia**

Nutty – **Neal**

Lammy- **Lannie**

Splendid - **Spencer**

Shifty - **Shinji**

Lifty - **Liam**

Handy – **Harrie**

Russell- **Russell**

Pop – **Mr. Pop**

Toothy** – Tottie (**I made Toothy a girl D: …sorry for that, is just I needed more girls :P**)**

Mime - **Mr. Mims**

**Don't know if necessary but just for you to know; as most of the characters are in high school but aren't in same grades, some are in junior year, some in senior, so just to make it clear...**

**Junior year: Fay, Gili, Petunia, Cody, Neal, Stephen, Shinji, Liam, Russell.**

**Senior year: Filip, Spencer, Lannie, Harrie, Tottie.**

**There are some parts that will be written '**_like this__**'**_**...those are thoughts, hope it doesn't get too confusing, if so just ask :)**

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><p>Fay woke up early in the Saturday morning. She remembered the nightmare but tried not to pay attention to it, it was just because she was over thinking things, nothing else. She had some spare time since the meeting with her friends would be at 2 p.m. so she decided to do some shopping.<p>

She asked her mom to make her a shopping list and went off. The air was fresh, the cold felt really good, she could smell the nature, the trees, the humidity and the flowers, it didn't seem like such a gray place anymore, she could see its colors now.

She wasn't happy at the beginning about going to a place encircled just by forest and nature, it wasn't good for her, it felt like a hidden place. And what about wild animals? She didn't want to deal with that, but now that she was there she could understand how some people liked places like that, away from the big cities, the bunch of people walking on the streets and all the noises; she was used to all of that, but after tasting the life in Happy Tree once more, she could tell that being surrounded by nature felt nice and peaceful. That was something she loved.

She finished with the shopping and headed back to her house, on the way she stopped at a pastry shop to buy a cupcake, it wasn't a bad thing to give yourself a taste once in a while.

It was already 1:30 in the afternoon so she called Gili and they headed together to the mall. They meet up with everyone else, and they seemed pretty excited. There were Cody, Shinji, Liam, Neal and Russell, but there was another girl, Fay didn't know her.

"Who is she?" Fay whispered to Gili, looking at the girl. It was a tall elegant girl, pink hair but darker than Gili's, some freckles on her face, her teeth were a bit big for her face but she looked quite pretty.

"That's Tottie, she's Russell's girlfriend" Gili smiled.

"Russell's?" She said in surprise "I mean, she doesn't seem like the kind of girl who would date Russell" She spoke lower so anyone else would listen to her "Someone that looks as lady like as her".

"Yeah, I know" Gili said laughing "They actually have been dating for almost a year now, it was surprising for everyone, she is even one year older than him, and her parents didn't like him at all, but you know, Russell is a great person, the appearances are nothing" She said "And you know what people say, if it is with love everything is possible" They both laughed at the corny comment.

"So, the tickets, the tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiickets! Give it to us, and let's go!" Neal said to Shinji who was the one in charge to buy the tickets for everyone. He was more hyper than other days.

"Hmm, you see…I kind of forgot about it" Shinji said, but regret was no found on his face, he just wasn't responsible enough.

"What you saying? But I so wanna watch this movie!" Neal yelled at him in annoyance.

"I knew it! I don't even know why I asked you to do it" Gili said shaking her head.

"Well, chill out a little; we can still buy tickets for 4.00 p.m. function" Russell spoke trying to calm things down. It wasn't that of a big deal, and they were all going to spend the day together anyway. "We'll get them, just wait for us, and then we can go for ice cream. Just don't start a war because of it". He held Tottie's hand and walked away with her.

"Okaaay" Gili said "And you are definitely no coming with us next time" She said to Shinji, narrowing her eyes.

"What? Relax Gili, why are you so worked up about it. You know? I'm starting to think you love me. You get mad with me all the time, if it isn't Petunia it's you, you girls don't leave alone" He said smirking, his eyes shining; he knew she was going to explode.

"What did you said? Are you crazy?" A burning blush spread all over her face, Fay wasn't sure if it was the embarrassment or the anger that make her turn all red, maybe both "Obviously we get mad at you all the time because you are so stupid, and self-confident, and all the time joking around, and don't take anything seriously!"

She was panting after the yelling "Gili, calm down" Fay talked to her softly.

"Yeah, calm down Gili, don't get so worked up, he was kidding, you just said it, he's just joking around all the time" This time was Liam the one to join the conversation, laughing so loud that there were tears forming on his eyes.

"Oh, you shut up, you are just like him and you know it" She responded, but she had already calmed, she was used to their jokes anyway, but sometimes she just couldn't stand them.

"Oh boy, you are some serious thing Gili" Liam spoke again "Say Cody, what do you think? Would you be able to handle such a girl?" Apparently he wasn't over with it.

Her eyes went wide and the blush came back, she hadn't noticed that Cody had been looking at her all the time. Fay noticed it but she said nothing, the way he was looking at her was really sweet. He obviously knew how her temper was but he liked everything about her, they were both just too shy to take the next step.

"I think it's cute" He said smiling with a sheepish blush. She just looked away in shame, how could they do that to her, she definitely liked him, and maybe they had noticed it, but was it that obvious?

"Done with the tickets!" Russell had come back. Gili sighed in relief.

"So let's go for the ice cream! I'm so hungry right know" Neal said almost screaming, he had already forgotten about the movie.

They picked a table where all of them would fit and ordered. Neal's ice cream was a huge one, it was a four people ice cream but he wanted the biggest of the menu, no wonder he was so hyperactive all the time, you could see one of his eyes twitching a little sometimes, it was funny.

Fay was sitting listening to everybody talking and laughing, she didn't talk much, she didn't felt that confident with so many people around but it was a good time, she really liked it, she just felt like listening to everyone else and enjoying.

In front of the ice cream place, there was a music shop, she could see inside of it like with most of the stores in a mall, but what caught her eye was Filip, or at least it looked like him. He was looking around the store, it was a small town after all so it wasn't a surprise to find him there, when she finally could see his face, it was certainly him. He was alone, maybe looking for some CD's.

'_How is it that someone that young could have killed a person, he's only one year older than me, and that was 3 years ago, he was probably 15… or 14 at the time. Besides, his face…he looks serious but not like a bad person…a murderer, I feel like I've seen so many sides of him and I don't even know him. First was one of concern and kindness, then an annoyed one, a focused one when he was reading and then a mad one which was the weirdness thing ever, a sad one I think, a nice one and a laughing one, kindness again, and now a serious one, he looks kind of cute like that' _She thought and smiled at it.

Gili saw Fay looking into space, it seemed like she smiled for a moment, she followed her gaze and it was a store, but there was Filip too, had she seen him? Was she…scared? She didn't know, maybe they traumatized her with all those stories, it was those jackass fault again, Fay seemed so fragile, and she got scared so easily, she was obviously terrified when they were telling her about him, but she said he didn't said anything mean to her.

"Fay?" She spoke softly buy Fay didn't respond, she tried again talking closer to her.

'_And what about his eyes? They are so pretty, even when I was scared of them they looked so pretty. I've never seen that shade of green in someone's eyes before, it's like an emerald green, it's such a dark and luminous color at the same time, they kind of look like the forest here…so deep, and green, and alive, shiny, so beautiful'._

"Fay?" But she was lost, was she daydreaming, or was she shocked? Maybe the ice cream made her feel bad. All of them had already noticed her state. Gili was starting to panic.

"Is she alright?" Asked Gili looking at them.

"What is it?" Said Russell turning around to see what she was spacing out about since he was in front of her on the table so he couldn't see what she was staring at "Is that Filip?" He asked a bit taken aback.

"Oh my god…you guys must had scared her so much that day, that maybe she is in shock now just from seeing him". Gili said to Shinji and Liam.

"What? No way, it wasn't that much…I think" Shinji said in a kind of defensive tone.

"Didn't you see her face when you were talking about killing and stuff the other day? Maybe you took it too far, she seems like the kind that would freak out about it" Neal said, then eating more of his giant ice cream, she was even letting her ice cream melt, how could she let that happen?

"Try shaking her a bit" Liam told referring to Gili.

'_Could it be that it really was a dream that day? Or maybe he is indeed crazy. I don't know if I can ask him. I don't think that I would be able to speak to him ever again. I wonder what kind of music is he looking for….Fay?...Fay!'_

It was Gili's voice; she had totally forgotten where she was.

"Hmm?" She looked at Gili. She seemed scared. "Wh-what happened to you?" Fay asked tilting her head innocently.

"What? Me? What happened to _you_? You had me all freaked out" She said shaking her head. She sighed and then looked back at Fay.

"Me? …Hmm, but I-I'm okay, what do you mean?"

"Welf, you spaced out like for an eternity theref, and den we all thouf you were in shock or had a break down or somfing" Neal said with his mouth half full with ice cream, he wasn't going to let the situation interfere between him and his sweet meal.

"Why would you think that? I was just…a little distracted" She said while looking down at her hands.

"Well, Gili assumed we had traumatized you with Filip since you were staring at him like that and didn't respond at all" Shinji said pointing back at the music store.

"N…no! I mean, I-I didn't even notice I was…out for that long" She could feel the heat crawling up her face when she realized what she had been doing.

'_Staring at him, great! Now I look like a freak'_ She felt like she should run away from there.

"Fay…" Gili called her so she looked at her side but Gili was just smiling, warmly, like always "You don't have to be that worry. We are _all_ really sorry for scaring you like that the other day" She said making the 'all' sound stronger and looking at Shinji and Liam in that moment.

"No…it-it's okay, I'm okay" She responded smiling shyly at them.

Gili was relief, that really scared her, and she didn't want to worry Fay more, she didn't know what would happen if Filip found out she was staring at him like that. She definitely didn't like him and Fay was striking enough being the new girl, she didn't need him noticing her more.

Fay took a peek one last time at the store, and he was no longer there.

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><p>After the movie and dinner they hung out at Gili's house and when it was getting late Fay decided to go home. Russell and Tottie offered to drive her home since they had to leave already anyway. Fay wasn't used to be out of home so late, she hadn't even been out with friends a whole day and it had been great but it was time for some rest.<p>

She wasn't worry about what her mother would say, she knew she didn't care where she was. When she arrived her mom wasn't even home, so she just got ready and went to bed.

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><p>"Uff today lesson was rough, I didn't get a thing" Gili whined. It was Monday morning after first period. Math. "What about you guys?" She looked at Petunia and Fay hoping she wasn't the only one at lost, math had always been her weak spot, she did great at any other subject, but math was something she couldn't deal with.<p>

"I got it pretty good" Petunia said satisfied, contrary to Gili math was her strong spot, her other grades were just average, but with math, she got along pretty well. She'd always been proud of it, since it made people stop thinking of her as just a pretty face and hair, she had a brain too, a good one, she didn't care only about looks.

"Hmm, it was kind of confusing at first but I got it eventually" Fay said looking awkwardly at Gili as she'd just crush her hopes of the lesson being impossible to get for the human brain.

"Of course you'd get it" Gili said with a sigh.

"Now you have to tell us how was your date, since you didn't come with us you have to tell us every detail" Gili continued, talking to Petunia while clapping her hands together and then jumping from her sit to stand in front of her so she'd get all she was about to say as clearly as possible.

"Okay~" Petunia's face lit up, that smile appeared every time they talked about Harrie "We just hung out at his place all the afternoon, I met his family, they were all really nice, we passed the time basically talking, then we went out for dinner, it was really romantic, after it we went for a movie, and then he took me home and…"

"Good morning" The English teacher said as he walked into the classroom "Now sit down everybody, class is beginning"

Gili ran to her sit "You keep telling us after class" She whispered to Petunia and she nodded smiling.

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><p>"Fay, could you help me with this, please?" Mr. Mims said, his class was usually before break so he'd always ask someone to help him get the books to the teacher's room since it was quite afar from classrooms.<p>

"Want us to wait for you?" Petunia asked her while looking on a small mirror she always kept on her bag checking her hair was okay, Gili was already standing next to them with her books in hand.

"No, it's ok, I'll catch up with you in a minute" Fay said and walked to the teacher desk taking half the pile of books.

When she was done with it she headed out of the room waving at Mr. Mims while he thanked her.

"Hello there" She turned around to find Spencer leaning against the wall; it looked like he was waiting for her.

"Oh..h-hi!" She said smiling.

"How you're doing around here? Have you got used to everything already?" He asked crossing his arms over his chest and waiting for her to blush.

It looked like he was interrogating her, he was nice and everything but why he had to make her feel so uncomfortable.

'_And there it is'_ He though as her cheeks were already showing a shade of pink.

"W-well, it had being fine, and I already know all the school so …wait" She said looking at him confused and ashamed "So you knew I'm new here" He laughed in response.

"Of course I knew it, everybody know it. C'mon, we don't want to hear the teacher's nagging for being here in break time" He said meaning for her to walk with him.

"Wh-where are we going?" She asked looking at him with her eyes wide open, she didn't want it to look like she disliked him but her friends were waiting for her.

"Nowhere, we are just going to walk" He had a wide smile and she couldn't say no "So you met Mr. Pop" He continued as she didn't seem to refuse spending time with him, he just wanted to talk with her for a bit since they met there, he'd always been really friendly.

"Yes, I met him, he's really nice" She said smiling, remembering her talks with him and how he had asked her to marry his 5 years old son. He liked to tease her.

"Yeah…that old man. He knows no boundaries though, just let me know if he bothers you some time" He said shoving his hands into his pockets and laughing with her, Fay's face told him that she knew what he was talking about.

While they were laughing they heard someone walking down the stairs and talking, they stopped and looked up to see who it was, they weren't supposed to be on the hallways on break time so it'd be bad if it was a teacher and they no longer had time to hide or run.

Surprisingly for Fay it was Filip and Lannie. When Filip saw them he just looked at them with a blank stare and then kept walking, his gaze had been different this time, Fay couldn't read the emotions on his eyes, it looked empty, he didn't even say hi to her, not that she was hopping for him to act like his friend, it was just that he'd been really nice last time.

As for Lannie, she stood on the stairs for a minute, looking down at them, well, basically looking down at Fay in disgust, but before she left she looked at Spencer, her face showed displeasure, but Fay could see her eyes where softer than when she looked at her.

She watched them leave but immediately looked back at Spencer, she didn't want to space out again like last time, he was already sitting on the first scale but he was looking at their direction too, he was the one who was staring now. She sat next to him and waited for him to talk; he was always the first to talk.

"I heard you met them on the cafeteria" He said finally looking back at her. His elbows were resting on his lap, his fingers laced together.

"Yes…so everybody knows about it too" She spoke in a low voice.

"Haha, well, yes…rumors spread. Not a pleasant thing to happen to you on the first day, ah?" He said laughing, but the emotion didn't reach his eyes. There was another moment of silent, she just sat quietly looking at the shapes that formed on the tiles' pattern. "You know? He slapped her once, she didn't say anything but we were very close back then and I noticed"

Fay said nothing. It was surprising, of course, how could he hit a girl, but somehow she expected something like that from him, her perspective of Filip was more confusing every time.

"He was very popular when he got here, a bunch of girls were after him, and some guys thought he was pretty cool but he was always trying to stay away from people. Then one day he beat a guy just because he walked by his desk and accidentally threw his books. He was like crazy, I was there, we had it hard trying to stop him, he didn't want to let go, it looked like he was trying to kill him" She didn't say a thing, she wasn't even moving, so he continued.

"After that, nobody dared to go close to him again, the only one that stuck with him was Lannie, he tried to make her leave him alone from the very beginning but she doesn't hear reasons, not from him, not from everybody else…then, when I saw her so teary and with a red mark on her cheek I lost it and went to beat the hell out of him" He was speaking so calmly that what he said took Fay by surprise, his voice was soft all the time, but she could tell he was hiding all his emotions, or maybe there were no emotions left. "It wasn't what I was expecting, I thought with his character we'd end up killing each other but he didn't do a thing so I gave up soon, there was no point if he didn't respond. He didn't dared to look at me in the eyes, so I thought maybe he was actually aware that what he'd done was dreadful…after that she stopped talking to me"

Hearing that, made Fay's eyes turn to look at him instinctively, he sounded so pained, but his face was still the same, showing no emotions. But coming from him, it made her feel sad, he looked always so happy that looking at him like that was somehow heartbreaking.

"Did…did you love her?" She finally spoke looking at his eyes, he turned to look back but said nothing, he just gave her a sympathetic smile, it wasn't that he had loved her; it was that he still loved her or so it looked like that to Fay.

"Hey, don't put that sad face. I'm already over it. And I don't hate him or anything, I understand that she can be a huge pain in the ass" He laughed, but she didn't believe it, even if he really thought that way, she could see it in his eyes, that he hadn't completely forgotten about her, or about what Filip did to her. She just smiled back.

"That's it! Much better" They stayed there talking and laughing until the break ended.

"Sorry for bringing up all of those things, I don't know…I just felt like saying it" He said as they rose from the stairs, people was starting to get back.

"Oh, It-it's ok" She said smiling; it was much easier to talk to him now that she knew him a bit better.

"See you later. It's nice talking to you when you aren't just blushing" He said with a smirk and walked away, a flush appeared on her face again after his words, luckily he was already gone.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it! Please review! <strong>***o***


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi there!**

**Jordanthegirl, BunnyTheEpicBunny, eva16uchiha and FLIqPY thank you all for reviewing my last chapters, I really appreciate your comments, they are really inspiring :D**

Names on this chapter:

Flaky- **Fay**

Giggles- **Gili**

Flippy - **Filip**

Petunia - **Petunia**

Lammy- **Lannie**

Splendid - **Spencer**

Pop – **Mr. Pop**

Cub - **Curt**

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><p>"Where were you, I was looking for you" Gili said in a whimper when she met Fay in class. After sitting on the chair and leaning her head on the tablet, she sighed and looked at Fay with a scowl.<p>

Fay felt the guilt jump into her; she gave Gili a nervous smile "Well, you see…" She said, thinking about what to say, she would say the true, there was nothing wrong about it, she just met Spencer and talked with him, then they met Filip and Lannie, and everything went weird, and she listened to Spencer's story and it was actually good being with him, and it wasn't that awkward anymore, and…well, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell the truth. It was a long and complicated truth to tell, besides, they'd get the wrong idea about her and Spencer…yeah, they'd definitely get it all wrong. Specially Petunia, she could already see Petunia's playful stare and wide smirk revealing all her intentions about what she'd say to Fay. It made a chill run down her spine and she remembered to think fast, they were already staring at her, waiting for a good excuse. "I-I was just…walking around, and kind of got lost" she said with a half smile hoping they wouldn't see through the lie.

"You got lost?" Gili said giving her a skeptical look.

"Ye-yeah. I mean…I didn't get lost immediately, but when I got out of the teacher's room, I felt like walking around for a while, and then going with you guys, bu-but then I forgot where I was and when I found the classroom I decided to stay here and wait"

"Really? Well, be more careful next time, you can't be on the hallways during break time, and please no more walking around alone, I don't want you to get lost again, okay?" Gili said smiling brightly at her and she smiled back happy that she believed her little lie. She felt a little guilty though, lying to her friends like that, maybe she'd tell Gili the truth later, when they were alone, she could say that she just felt a bit embarrassed and didn't want to give the wrong idea, which was actually the truth.

* * *

><p>The day went by and everything was just normal, so after classes Fay went to the library to do homework. It was kind of quiet, even if it was usually a lonely place, that day it was specially empty, it was in fact the entire school that was particularly empty. Any other day there would be a lot of people after classes with club's activities and so. The silence actually made her a bit uncomfortable. It was funny how she liked to be alone but needed so bad the noises surrounding her, even if it was the breeze or the faint hum of conversations, she couldn't focus if there were any sound at all, she usually would be okay with the little whispers around her but that day there weren't many of that quiet noises that used to keep her at peace, so she just decided to take out her iPod and listen to music, that would do too. She didn't get it, why she felt like that, she knew she liked to be by herself, she felt really comfortable that way, just she and her thoughts. But the silence, she couldn't stand it, it felt as if she were the only person on the world, it was complete loneliness which scared her, but wasn't that what she was seeking from the beginning? Maybe she was just an hypocrite, or maybe she really needed all that people surrounding her to feel safe; just thinking about it made her feel sick. How could someone with such a lack of social skills as herself be so needy of people surrounding her, wasn't it contradictory? Wanting to feel the harmony of being alone, but all that between a crowd of noises inquiring that human live was still there for her, waiting for her to feel like getting out of the bubble of her own world and go out to the real world.<p>

But it couldn't be that bad, she didn't hate people, she just didn't have a particular interest in most of them. She liked nice people like the friends she had just made on Happy Tree, she just wasn't the kind of person who would like to be all the time in the company of someone else.

Fay made all those thoughts run out of her mind, it was useless thinking about such trivial things, she was okay like that, having new friends to share great moments and she had time for herself too; that was it. She centered her attention on the books and continued with the homework.

On her way out she met Mr. Pop, today she'd taken more time to finish everything so she thought he wasn't there anymore.

"How are you Mr. Pop?" She said to him in a soft voice.

"Oh, hi Fay, I'm great, a lot of work though. I'm taking the chance to organize everything around since today aren't many people" He said smiling while wiping the sweat off his forehead.

"Today is a busy day I think...it took me quite some time to make my homework too"

"Yeah, you usually go home earlier, try not to stay so late, it isn't good for a young girl to walk home alone at this hour" She nodded "Oh, actually, I wanted to ask a favor from you Fay, only if you have free time this Saturday"

"Yes, what would it be?"

"Hmm, you see, I kind of have a date on Saturday" He said sheepishly, rubbing the nap of his neck; she could spot the faint blush on his checks which made her smile "and well…I can't let little Curt alone, so I wanted to ask you to take care of him for the night, I'd pay you of course"

"No problem at all Mr. Pop" She said cheerfully "Just let me know the place and hour and I'll take care of little Curt"

"Oh, really? Thank you so much Fay, I wasn't sure if I could make it since the daycare doesn't work on Saturdays and you are perfect for it, I know I can trust you my little boy" He said laughing and she could see the joy in his eyes. Someone was in love, she thought it was really sweet to see him so happy for a date even at his age.

After that she said good bye to Mr. Pop and went home.

* * *

><p>It was already late at night, Fay wasn't sleepy at all, she didn't know why but she wasn't able to sleep. She decided to look for a snack when she heard her cell phone ringtone. It was half past midnight, who would be calling her at that hour? After taking a bag of marshmallows, she went back to her room to pick up her phone. It was Gili.<p>

"Gili? What happened?" Fay said worried; it was really unusual for Gili to call her at night, let alone at midnight.

"Fay…hmm, I'm soo sorry for calling you this late, but I really need your help"

"Of course, did something happen to you?" She could feel the panic growing at the pit of her stomach.

"Well, this is so embarrassing, but I couldn't understand math homework, then I fell asleep and when I woke up, it was midnight! And I didn't do a thing" Gili responded in a whimper. Fay sighed and laughed in relieved, math homework, what a horrible thing to happen to a high school student. "Faaay, don't laugh at me, look, it took me a lot a courage to call you this late and if I called Petunia she'd just hang up on me, you can't interrupt her sleep, y'know?"

"You tried calling Petunia first and she hang up on you, right?" Fay said laughing harder at her, she knew she was right.

"Yes…now stop it!" Gili admitted and laughed, she was blushing at the stupidity of the situation "You know what? Forget it; I can't believe I'm calling you this late"

"Don't worry Gili, I wasn't even sleepy and I didn't know what to do, I'll help you, okay?" Fay said while sitting on her bed with the bag of marshmallows she'd grabbed from the kitchen.

"Really? Thank you, thank you!" Gili chirped and Fay proceeded to make her best explaining through the phone. Half an hour passed and the homework was done, it wasn't that difficult, Gili was just panicking about it so her mind was completely blank.

"Fay you're the best, I'll pay you with whatever you want"

"Don't worry, it was nothing, really" Fay said taking a small bite of the last marshmallow, she wanted to make it last as long as possible.

"How could you say that, I definitely have to pay you in some way, it was really nice of you helping me" Gili responded, she was truly embarrassed with Fay and she will repay her even if she didn't want to.

"Whatever you say, I won't be asking anything from you" She assured.

"Okay, just wait and see I'd have a surprise waiting for you" Gili said laughing.

"Gili…" Fay wasn't paying much attention to the conversation, the thoughts about that day still in her mind, wondering if she should ask about it or not, finally, Gili's name escaped her lips, which took her by surprise since she didn't feel it was a good idea yet.

Gili caught the tone of her voice, it was distant, maybe worried "What is it?" Gili asked her but she didn't speak "Fay, you can tell me anything, okay? Any question, worry or whatever you wanna say, I'll listen to it, I'm your friend, just tell me"

"… I know. Well, the thing is…today, when I finished helping Mr. Mims I met with Spencer, so I didn't get lost or anything like that, I just spent the entire break with him"

"Oh…I see" O-M-G were the words that the voice inside Gili's mind was screaming, _'so it was true, those two have a thing going on'_. But she wouldn't say anything, there must have happened something, and Fay was so shy about it, that she had to say the right words to make her speak it all "Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't get mad because of that" She said in a kind tone.

"Sorry about that, I just didn't want to give the wrong idea" Fay laughed nervously.

"Sooo…you like him, right? Is that it? Did he tell you something? Tell me everything~" And she let it out, she cursed herself for not being able to hold it, but she wanted to know really bad, it was extremely exciting, she could already imagine them holding hands in the school's hallways, they'd look so cute together.

"See? You got it all wrong" Fay said in annoyance but smiled at the fact that she'd predicted Gili's reaction exactly like that.

"Really?" She was actually disappointed, and Fay noticed it which make her laugh "Then what happened? Surely nothing interesting since you already ruined it"

"I didn't ruin anything, is not my fault that you let your imagination fly" She scolded her "And well, I wouldn't say that it's something interesting either, it was just something I got curious about" There was a pause but Gili just waited for her to talk, she really had no clue about what she was talking about.

"Hmm…I…we were just talking, and then we met with Filip and Lannie, and it got kind of awkward, I think Lannie doesn't like me, the way she stared at me was kind of scary, but that wasn't the problem…Spencer told me he kind of liked her, but she just run after Filip. He…he told me Filip hit her once and he was really mad so he picked a fight with him. He also told me about Filip, that he was the new kid being the gossip on school but then he punched another boy and everyone got scared of him, except for Lannie, and… h-he looked kind of pained about it, he said it was okay now, but I don't know…it just felt really sad seeing him like that…" Gili listened to everything, and thought that maybe Fay didn't like Spencer after all. Everyone on school knew about that story, it was the kind of thing that anyone would be interested in, but Fay was new so she obviously didn't know it yet.

"It was only that? Don't worry, everyone have heard rumors about it. But, you see, when we entered first year, Filip had already transferred to our school, at the end of their first year, everybody told us different stories about him, that he killed the kid, that he was a mercenary or some kind of hit man, that he was the son of some General from the army and he'd been raised as a killing machine…well, all sort of things, you can't even imagine. Then, when we were already in high school, and they were on their second year, all the thing with Spencer and Lannie happened, then we found out Spencer and Lannie were childhood friends and he really liked her, but she didn't give him a second look when Filip arrived, I don't know why, she's just so dumb, I mean, Spencer is such a great guy, after that, nobody knows what happened with them, they just stopped talking to each other, he'd dated some girls, he's really popular after all but nothing serious, I think" She finished, and then realized something else "You aren't still freaked out about the Filip thing, are you? I mean, I don't like him at the least, he's a troublemaker, but you don't have to be scare if you don't bother him".

"Wha…No, th-that's not it, I mean, I'm kind of scared of him but I was just wondering…if they're happy…I know is none of my business, but seeing how their lives changed in that way when Filip appeared, and how can a person like him live in peace if he's always looking for troubles, is kind of sad"

"Fay, you're too good, it's actually cute from you being worry about everything and everyone, but don't overwork yourself with meaningless things like that, you know you're gonna find people in your live that aren't very lucky or that choose to live in a wrong way, but you have to understand that you can't change everyone's lives, you can make a difference of course, since you are a wonderful person, but you can't be concerned about everyone's problems"

"Yeah.. I know"

"Are you okay now?" Gili said to her, she thought Fay didn't have to be bothered about that, but since she seemed like a person who could see through people easily maybe it was more difficult for her to ignore other people problems.

"Yes, are _you_ okay now?" Fay said while laughing.

"Of course I am. Thanks to you. Ready to sleep?" She knew it was her fault that Fay was still awake, even if she'd said she wasn't able to sleep when she answered the phone it had been like an hour of talking now.

"I think so. See you tomorrow"

"Okay, have a good night" And with that, they hanged up.

Fay was ready to sleep now, it was already late after all, she munched the half of the last marshmallow that had survived and lay on her bed. Gili had got the wrong idea about her, she wasn't that kind person who worried about every human being, she was actually really selfish; she'd worry only about her and about the people that she loved. In fact, she didn't know where her curiosity about all of that had came from, it wasn't like her, she never showed that kind of interest in people she didn't know, but she wasn't sure either, which part of that story was the one that caught her attention, or more exactly, who was the person she wanted to know about.

* * *

><p>As expected, Fay didn't have much sleep that night, so in class, she was in a zombie mode, she could feel her eyelids closing themselves and Gili felt guilty all day saying it was her fault, she told her not to worry, it wasn't really because of her but she wouldn't listen. She didn't sleep after she hang up with Gili, nothing in special was bothering her, she just couldn't seem to stop thinking and fall into unconsciousness. As the day passed by she started to feel better but she had a little head each that didn't want to go away, so when 5th period arrived she asked the teacher to let her go to the infirmary for a pill. The nurse gave her a painkiller and told her it was probably the lack of sleep, so nothing to worry about but she should go straight home after classes and have some sleep, since there were people that presented not only headaches but also dizziness if they didn't sleep enough.<p>

She was going back to the classroom _'I'm not going to stay after classes, I'd take the nurse's advice, it's the best-'_ and there was a crash that made her lose track of her thoughts, it came from one of the classrooms, she peered for the little window on the door, and saw nothing, it was a laboratory room so maybe something had fallen and broken, she decided to go in and check.

It wasn't until she entered the room and let the door shut close after her, that she noticed the person sitting in one on the desks, glass shattered on the floor as if he'd just thrown everything off the table, his hands holding each side of his head which was down and his eyes were close, but she knew there was no way he hadn't notice her with the noises of the door opening and closing. She stood there frozen, looking at Filip wide eyed, she didn't know if ask him if he was okay, run away or just stay there waiting for him to say something, but neither of those options would work anyway, she was paralyzed, no matter what, she felt like she couldn't move. Fay saw his stare raising slowly until meeting her eyes, those deep eyes burning into hers, there was so much hatred on them that it looked as if he wanted to tear her into pieces, she felt like crying, she hadn't done anything to him, maybe he wanted to be alone and she interrupted him, but the way he was looking at her caused her to cringe in fear. But that wasn't all he had, the smirk that followed, appearing on his face was more much terrifying, wickedness was all she could see, and even with that, she still wasn't able to move. He stood up making a loud noise pushing the chair aside which made her jump, and that was enough for her to react, she started to walk backwards still looking at him until she bumped into the teacher's desk, both of them following each other's every movement. He reached her and she froze again. Standing in front of her, he leaned down and put his hands at each of her sides on the table, this made her hold her breath, until her lungs couldn't stand it anymore and let out the air instinctively.

"It had to be you" He said while studying her every gesture, her eyes still locked into his; there was no helping it when he looked at her.

"Wh-what are you saying…le-let me go….please" She pleaded. Where was the nice guy? That was what she was afraid of, that dark side of him being his real self. It was real, after all, and what now…was he going to kill her, was it true, that he'd be able to kill her right there and then?

"You want me to let go? And why is that, may I ask" He leaned closer to her making her stiffen even more, his evil voice sending chills down her spine with every word.

"I…I'm scared" She let the words out of her lips in a whisper while tears were already blurring her gaze. He lifted one of his hands to touch her cheek, letting his thumb run down her face following the trace of glistening tears.

"Scared? That's a good thing, you know?" He said as he gave her a little space while looking at his wet finger in a curious manner. She took the chance and run away from him, he looked at her and growled but he was faster, so when she reached the doorknob, his hand appeared over her shoulder slamming the door shut again. Next thing she knew, he slammed her against the wall, pinning her and making her wince in pain.

"So you wanna play, huh?" She looked back at him and he was still smirking but she could tell he was mad now. He pressed his forehead against hers while she sobbed. He liked the fact that she always looked into his eyes, he loved how he could see all her emotions in them, she had big beautiful eyes that showed her every feeling, it was amusing how she didn't let her stare go even when he could see her gleaming eyes full of fear.

Her heart was pounding, she could hear it thumping wildly in her ears and even he could felt it slamming out of her chest and against his. He cocked his head and licked her bottom lip, she gasped and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth, kissing her roughly. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to push him back, but he hold her in a iron grip putting one of his hands on her back, so she was basically trapped, between him and the wall and now she couldn't even move. She felt his other hand going down under her skirt then grabbing her thigh and moving up slowly. He was being really harsh, that was going to let a mark on her skin. She couldn't take it anymore, everything was spinning around her, she didn't know if it was the lack of sleep, the panic or the fact that he wasn't letting her any space to breath, but she could feel she was going to faint at any time and she didn't want that to happen so she struggled with everything in her until he stepped back. She took the chance to push him and run away, being able to go out of the classroom and he didn't make any effort to stop her. She was running, she knew he wasn't chasing after her but that was the only thing she could do, she tripped once but didn't fell, she didn't want to go back to class so she went to the girls' bathroom and locked herself in. Sitting down on the floor, she put her head between her knees while breathing heavily after the running. She hadn't stopped crying, she had never been that scared on her entire life, she couldn't believe what he had done, all her emotions mixed up, _'how could he do something like that?'_ was all she could think about, even if she closed her eyes and tried to focus in something different all she could see were his eyes, making the pain in her chest grow.

* * *

><p><strong>Done! Please review and tell me what you think :3<strong>

**It was a bit long don't you think? But usually the final scene is the first thing I come up with and then I have to write others things to get there, and I didn't want to let you with a cliffhanger either ^-^**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi! ^^ **

**To xXTechnoWaffleXx, compa16, SoraDN and Fantastic Bloody Maniac, thank you! for adding and reviewing my story, and therosiesweetheart, I loved your review :3 **

Names on this chapter:

Flaky- **Fay**

Giggles- **Gili**

Flippy - **Filip**

Petunia - **Petunia**

Pop – **Mr. Pop**

Cub - **Curt**

* * *

><p>He stood there, looking at the closed door, motionless. In his mind, the image of Fay was replied over and over again, running away from him with a trace of tears following. He couldn't believe what he did. Even when he knew that having a rotten soul and mind he wasn't good for anyone, he had never done anything like that, and to such a fragile girl. For some reason he really liked her, and he thought that this time, maybe, keeping a distant, he could be friends with her without making any harm, but now he could see how wrong he was. He should have known, it wasn't possible. He let his instinctive madness take over him and that was all. In this occasion it had been faster, the time that took him to ruin it all.<p>

Being reluctant to go back to the classroom, Fay just waited, she didn't even felt the time passing; she wasn't thinking anymore either. Somehow her mind blocked itself from the outside, so she wouldn't feel hurt for a while, all her senses numb after the huge rush of feelings she'd just gone through. About an hour passed and she started to come to herself again, much calmer than before. Her heart still a bit accelerated, but her mind was clearer. Not wanting to do it, she automatically recalled what had happened, it was as if her mind weren't able to let go of the memory yet, but since most of the panic was already gone, she felt safe in the place she was. Recollecting everything, she let her fingers caress her lips softly; she could remember the feeling of his lips pressing against hers, it hadn't been a pleasant experience at the least.

It wasn't her first kiss though; she'd kissed a boy back in middle school. The entire classroom gathered together, dragging her with them, they didn't want to leave anyone out to avoid the risk of someone telling the teacher what they were doing. They wanted to play 'spin the bottle' and when it was her turn, she convinced herself it was just a game, and every kid played it anyway, so it couldn't be so bad. When she came close to the boy and merely touched his lips, she was ready to step back, but he trapped her lips with his own trying to show his abilities in a field in which he was obviously as inexperienced as her, thus giving her a really displeasing and wet kiss until she finally was able to pull back. There it was, a bad memory about her first kiss and a terrifying one about her second kiss, her luck wasn't getting any better.

After cooling her mind, she decided to go back to the classroom; she didn't say anything about what had happened, Gili asked if she was okay and she said she was just sleepy, so after classes she went directly home.

What could she do to have a little rest? There was no way she'd be able to fall asleep just like that. Her mom always kept sleeping pills on the bathroom, so she decided to take a couple of them, that wouldn't make any harm, her mom used to take them all the time. Fay fell asleep immediately.

She wasn't used to taking somniferous, so she woke up next morning at 11 a.m., she'd slept almost an entire day and had obviously missed school, but she wasn't worried about that at the moment. Her mouth dry as a side effect of the pills, maybe two pills had been too much, she was feeling a bit dizzy too so she went directly to the kitchen for some water to drink.

'_What to do?'_ She thought, she could keep sleeping for some more hours, she knew the effect would last for a while, but she was done with the sleeping, she wasn't tired anymore, and she wasn't that depressed as to spent all her day doing nothing. Probably Gili would call her later to ask about her absence, so until then, she didn't have anything to do. She took a bath listening to music to relax herself, having taken the day off, she'd try to enjoy it. After putting on some comfortable clothes she went out for a walk. She enjoyed the walk for a couple hours; it made her be at ease with herself. When it was about time for school to finish, she went back home to wait for Gili's call, she probably was worried sick and she didn't want to make it worst.

She wasn't feeling hungry but she hadn't eaten anything since the glass of water in the morning so it was better to eat something. After making herself a sandwich, Fay sat on the kitchen to wait.

Hearing a ringing sound took her by surprise, as it wasn't the phone but the doorbell. She opened the door and there was Gili standing in front of her, out of breath, and her cheeks bright red. For what it seemed, she had been running.

"Gili…are you all right?" Fay said tilting her head a little to take a better look of her friend who was leaning down, he hands on her knees while she recovered her breath.

"Wha…So…you are…okay" She said between gasps. Then looked at Fay and smiled relieved.

"Yes, of course….were you that worried? …I-I'm sorry"

"But you didn't even pick up you cellphone! I called you all day" She said finally standing up.

"Oh…I'm sorry I don't even know where I left it" She hadn't thought about the cellphone "Bu-but come in, I'll give you something to drink"

They sat on the living room and Fay explained that she had overslept. After resting for some minutes, Gili lent her notes to Fay and told her how the day had been. They took the time to chat for an hour or so, Fay apologized once more for making her worry and then Gili headed home.

* * *

><p>Next days she tried not to think much about what had happened with Filip, she didn't want to contemplate the situation, how it'd affected her, or even try to figure him out. She was determined to let it pass, she didn't meet him either, and she avoided any possibility starting by not going to the library anymore. She was being a bit more quite than usual around her friends, but she lied every time saying she was okay, aside for pursing her lips on disapproval, Gili wasn't doing more questions and was letting her be, for now.<p>

Friday afternoon though, she returned to the library, just for setting things with Mr. Pop for next day, she would stop by his house at 5 p.m. to take care of his son for the night, he would be back around 12 and ride her home.

* * *

><p>"Hello?" Fay answered the phone, it was about 6 p.m. and she was reading a book before sitting to do some homework; not going to the library, was ruining her daily routine of doing homework after school and having the rest of the day to relax, she didn't feel like doing school work being in her house, she was getting lazy and distracted doing other things and she knew that had to change because she was starting to feel behind with school and she didn't like it, it was better to do things at its moment and then have the rest of the time to enjoy.<p>

"Hi, Fay! I had the greatest of the ideas" Answered a really exited Gili at the other side of the line.

"Re-really? And what would be this great idea about?" Fay asked confused, what could it be now. As much as she liked Gili, she always had these crazy ideas or fantasies about impossible things to happen. Like traveling around the world with Fay and Petunia, the three of them together… in an air balloon, that had being her latest great idea; even though, Fay always enjoyed listening to her and imagining how it'd be, no wonder Gili had such wild thoughts, it'd be real fun doing something like that.

"Don't be so sulky, you know my ideas are wonderful. But, whatever, since tomorrow is our girls date, I made a list of what to do, and where to go, we'd have to meet a bit early, since I planned a huge amount of super fun things to do, I already talked to Petunia and she agreed, so we…" Fay's thoughts had stopped at the moment she heard 'girls date', she had completely forgotten about it, Gili had already made a whole plan of things to do, and Petunia even took the Saturday off from her boyfriend to be with them. How could she said that she'd already compromised herself with Mr. Pop. It was now or never, before it were too late.

"Gi-Gili!…stop" She said cutting Gili's nonstop speech about their plans, she was thinking what would be the right words to say it.

"What…you don't like it? If you wanna go to any other place we can change it and do something you like, I tried to choose something that we three could enjoy, but if you want something different we can totally do it" Gili said still a bit too excited. It was getting harder to speak out for Fay.

"No…is, is just that….I think I won't be able to go" Fay mumbled too fast, but that was the only way she could say it.

"What? I didn't understand you"

Fay sighed soundly.

"I said, I…can't go"

"What? Why! Fay you promised" Gili whined.

"Gili, I'm so sooo truly sorry, I forgot about it and Mr. Pop asked me to take care of his son tomorrow, so I said yes"

"You're so unfair…"

"I'm sorry"

"Okay, okay, what about Sunday?" There was the bliss again in Gili's voice.

"…a-aren't you mad at me?"

"Of course no!" She laughed "Why would I be mad for something like that, if you forgot there is nothing to do about it, besides, you won't forget next time, right?"

"Right. I'm glad…that you didn't get mad. But what about Petunia?"

"Don't worry, you are thinking too bad about us, you know? It's kind of offensive"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that" Fay said in a pitch voice of panic and Gili just laughed at her.

"I'm kidding, you silly…and Fay…"

"Yes?"

"Are you okay?"

"Hmm, yes, I'm fine"

"You sure?"

"Totally" Fay assured, begging for her not to ask any further, and she didn't, which was kind of suspicious too, since Gili would usually ask questions until getting what she wanted to hear, but this time, she was just asking occasionally if Fay was okay.

* * *

><p>The doorbell rang but there was no answer. She looked around trying to locate herself, she was pretty sure she got the right address so she tried again pressing the button for the third time. The door flung open which startled her a little making her give one step back. An agitated Mr. Pop appeared in front of her with messy hair and a half-done tie knot.<p>

"Oh! Hi Fay" He said stepping aside so she could go in "I'm sorry I made you wait but Curt isn't making this any easy for me"

"I see. Don't worry, is everything okay? Where is Curt?"

"Hmm, he's hiding right now, but don't think he's a difficult child, he's usually really well behaved, he's just a bit shy and want to be with me all the time"

She spotted an auburn little head looking at them behind the corner. Fay wasn't really good with children, they were always so messy, noisy and didn't listen, but she could try it, just this time, she'd try and do her best.

"Heh…hello?" She said approaching him, he just looked up at her with wide eyes. Being able to take a better look at the little one, she got caught into his cuteness, big brown eyes and pink tainted cheeks make her want to huge him, but he wasn't a pet, and she didn't want to scare him so she just put a hand on his head and ruffled his hair softly.

"Hi…are you Miss Fay?"

"Just call me Fay" She laughed "Nice to meet you Curt" He nodded and smiled back at her. Mr. Pop crossed his arm over his chest and looked at them.

"Well, that was easier than I thought, he usually don't open up to people so easily"

"Leave it to me" Fay said smiling warmly at Curt while holding out her hand for him "But don't you need to get ready Mr. Pop?"

"Oh, yes! You two go to the kitchen, I left cookies and milk for you there" And with that, he left running up to the second floor. Fay and Curt looked at each other and laughed, then they headed to the kitchen. About fifteen minutes passed and Mr. Pop appeared again wearing a nice suit, hair done and a faint scent of cologne and shaving foam.

"Do-do I look okay?" He asked checking his attire.

"You look perfect Mr. Pop, don't worry" Fay said to him smiling.

"Yeah daddy! You look handsome!" Curt smiled brightly at his father making him smile back.

"Okay…I'll be leaving now. Curt, listen to Fay and no candies too late at night. Thank you Fay, anything you need you can call me at my cell phone, okay?" They both nodded at him, he kissed little Curt on his forehead and said goodbye.

"Bye-Bye!" Said Curt as he looked at his dad walking out. He seemed really sad.

"Wanna play?" Fay told to him trying to cheer him up and his face lit up again.

They played for a while and then watched 'Tigger the movie', his favorite movie. At 7.30 p.m. they stopped to dinner. Curt was a really sweet and nice boy, Fay was amazed by him, he was intelligent and well behaved, he told her about his school, his friends, his favorite TV shows, even about his mom, she'd pass away when he was one year old, he said he was happy that she was always taking care of him from heaven. They continued watching the movie and by the end of it, Curt had already fallen asleep on her lap. It was starting to rain and the night was cold so she decided to put him on his bed. It was just 9 p.m. _'What should I do?...Hmm, maybe some movies and popcorn, Mr. Pop has a huge collection of movies' _She picked an horror movie, she wasn't used to that genre, she just thought about trying something different, but that was an horrible idea; the thunders, the rain, the darkness and being in a different house all together was scaring the hell out of her. Suddenly, a knock on the door make her jump from the seat holding her heart, it was pounding as if it wanted to go out of her chest, that was enough of horror movies for the night, but who could be calling at the door? They didn't even use the doorbell, maybe some neighbor, she thought.

She ran to the door, and carelessly opened it without checking the peephole to see who it was first. She froze in the spot. It was the last person she was hoping to see. Filip. He was soaking wet, drops of water falling from his hair and clothes, he looked at her with a dull stare through the strands of hair falling over his eyes and she didn't know what to do anymore.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked in a serious tone. What would he want with her? She was too terrified to talk, she wasn't ready to face him yet, she was doing her best not thinking about him, and it wasn't an easy task, but she was doing well, she wanted to forget about him and what had happened, and he wasn't helping at showing up like that.

"Wha-what are you doing here? I-I don't think I ca-can talk with you right now" She bit her index finger out of nervousness, maybe a bit too hard, it was starting to hurt.

"Look…." He grabbed her wrist somewhat too hard and too fast making her grimace. Gritting his teeth he told to her in annoyance "I just want to apologize" When he saw the look of fear on her face he let go of her hand and looked down "I'm sorry" He said in a softer voice.

"How…how did you know I was here?" She said while playing with some strands of her hair, she had to hold something to feel she wasn't going to fall apart.

"I…just happened to listen to you and Mr. Pop talking yesterday" Looking a bit embarrassed, he avoided to make eye contact and ran his fingers through his wet hair, she felt really bad for him being all drenched. She looked back at the stairs to the second floor to make sure Curt wasn't around; she was worried they may have woken him up.

"…Do you want…to come in?, y-you are all wet, maybe I can give you something hot to drink" She felt pathetic saying that, but she couldn't offer him anymore, she wasn't even in her own house and she knew it was wrong letting him in, not only because of that, he could go crazy again, but that wasn't even the worst part, what if something happened to little Curt, at the moment she thought about it, she regretted having said that.

He looked at her in surprise, he wasn't expecting for her to trust in him like that, wasn't she terrified of him? Maybe she was too nice for her own good "No…no, it's okay" He smiled at her, and she felt like she melt for a second, his smile was so warm that she didn't understood how could he change so drastically, it was like being in front of a different person each time "I just wanted to say sorry to you…it wasn't my intention to harm you, I don't know, I just…lost it"

She didn't quite understand what he meant, but his eyes held such sorrow at that moment, that she couldn't think of hating him anymore "It's okay" She gave him a half smile and his face lit up the slightest which make her feel relief.

"Well, I'll be leaving now, sorry for showing up like this" there was a pause as they stared at each other, she wasn't sure of what to say and he was sort of looking for the right words to speak "See you around?" he finally said and she nodded, he smiled at her and left. She closed the door and leaned against it, then took a deep breath. That had been weird…really, really weird, he was the strangest person she had ever known, and couldn't yet figure him out.

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><p><strong>Did you like it? :D Then review! <strong>

**..Even if you didn't like it - ****so I can try to do better ^-^**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6! :D**

**therosiesweetheart**, **SheLovesBBLFlippy**, **yasumi-split**, **SoraDN**, **umblyWoobly**,** thank for your lovely reviews :3**

**To Dark Aura Rose, Kohaku-Koneko, Fantastic Bloody Maniac, MarisaKamy, harlequinnx and AmPhire thank you for adding my story :3**

**I think we don't need the list of names anymore****, I'll write it eventually if I add new characters. **

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><p>When the night fell, and Fay went to sleep, a nightmare burst in her dreams again.<p>

_At the beginning it was the same as always, all the darkness and loneliness surrounding her as if there were no hope left. The fear invading each part of her body, her heart pounding wildly. All she could do was to surrender into the shadows that consumed her. This time though, she didn't stay sitting in a corner, waiting for the worst to come, she felt like moving, she had to look for something. When she realized, her feet were already moving by themselves. She kept searching, even if her motivation was unknown. Suddenly, light began to defeat the darkness, dim at the beginning, then growing brighter. Even the ground started to feel different, it wasn't hard concrete anymore; it was grass, soft and moist. At last, a tree appearing in front of her. It didn't appear suddenly, it was more like a blurry image becoming clearer with each step she took. A big and beautiful tree, small flowers starting to bloom, dancing with the soft breeze while leaves fell onto the ground. Maybe that was what was inviting her; she was just moving toward it, the spring smell like a magnetism drawing her to it. It was a somewhat needy sensation; she just knew she had to get to it. Looking so beautiful that she wanted to touch it at least once, become closer and let the smell of its flowers fill her with new emotions. When she approached, her eyes caught the sigh of someone, there, lying next to the tree. Who it was, she had no idea, she couldn't recognize to whom belonged that shape that rested peacefully under the comfort of the tree's shadow. It was as if she could sense all the feelings of this person, but couldn't see a face to identify. She held out her hand to touch, to ask, who it was. She had to know, she wanted to share more of those harmonious feelings. Suddenly, everything became blurry and she got lost between colorful clouds of what had been a beautiful landscape._

Opening her eyes slowly, shaking her head to get out of the dream completely, she felt a little dizzy but was finally awake.

After fast preparations and a quick breakfast, Fay met with Gili and Petunia for their so awaited girls date. A whole day of talking, running through the mall, an ice cream after lunch, a lot of girly shops and accessories, Gili insisted on giving Fay a cute headband, it was white with little black dots and a small bow at one side. After twenty minutes of arguing, Petunia convincing Fay that it looked great on her and Gili trying to force her gift into her, she finally accepted it. It was even harder to make her promise that she would wear it at least once at school; it took the rest of the day to make her agree with that.

"It'd been a really fun day" Gili said. They were taking a rest on a coffee house while she played with the straw of her strawberry milkshake drawing small circles on the drink.

"Yes" Fay said with a smile "Sorry for forgetting about it yesterday"

"It doesn't matter the day, and it's good to see you happy again" Petunia told to Fay.

"Of course, I'm having a great time with you two" Fay responded with a nervous smile. She started sipping from her drink and trying to avoid the fact that they knew she was depressed.

"Yeah, but why were you so down, you know we are your friends, you can just tell us" Gili was looking at Fay, her hands holding her cheeks and her elbows resting on the table.

"I say it's about a boy" Petunia stated. And without giving Fay time to even think about what to say, they were already making a whole analysis about her and her situation based on speculations.

"You think so?" Gili said playing along.

"Maybe…being sulky all week, and then going to Mr. Pop's house who is suspiciously Spencer's neighbor, and all of a sudden being back to normal, and even a bit too happy…I think it's way too suspicious"

'_So that's why Mr. Pop and Spencer know each other since so long'_ Fay thought.

That was actually something new for her, if it weren't for Petunia, she would have no idea Spencer was Mr. Pop's neighbor. But they wouldn't believe if she said so, her only option was to sit there and listen, feeling nothing but embarrassment. She would just have to deny it all when they let her some space to talk.

"Hmm, I don't know" Gili said "I mean, Fay doesn't look interested in that kind of things, and if she isn't interested in Spencer, I don't know what she can be looking for in a guy"

"Well…" Petunia started, overacting an intellectual part "You are right to think that any girl would be immediately attracted to a guy like him, moreover if he gives the first step, but you can't be sure, there are plenty of different kind of people and things they like. I mean, the boy looks so perfect that you could easily get overwhelmed, besides, Fay can be more into other types…hmm, there are the intelligent type, like Stephen, or the sweet and clumsy kind of guy…like Cody" Petunia's evil side decided it wasn't fair if Fay suffered alone, so now, she was playing with Gili, making her blush. It worked.

"Yes…you're right" Gili said sitting up on her chair since it started to get incredibly uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"I-I don't like Cody!" Fay said, trying to make it clear since she misunderstood Gili's attitude to Petunia's observation, which was obviously not directed to her. The pitch tone of her voice caused by the alarm she felt, caught finally the attention of the other two.

"We know" Petunia told to her with a soft smile to calm her down "But, am I right? Is it about a boy?" She insisted.

"It's not" She said looking down at her milkshake, her eyes wide and her cheeks almost red. There was no possibility for her to escape from this one; Petunia was so right and so wrong at the same time. But even Fay didn't know what was going on in her mind; she was certainly a lot happier than two days ago, but all of that because of… Filip? She was just relieved, that was what she wanted to say. But she couldn't mention anything about that, how would she make them understand everything that had been happening. It was too much to explain. There was no way they'd see Filip's actions with good eyes, and she truly wanted to keep being friends with him, which made things even more complicated. Once again, she'd have to lie, that caused her heart to cringe a little, it wasn't fair, but what else could she do. It was definitely about a boy, maybe not in the way they were thinking, but it was about a boy she couldn't mention. "I was just…you know, nostalgic for my old friends and home…th-that's all" Big lie, she had nothing to miss, but it seemed convincing.

"Next time you feel bad about that, we can do something together" Gili said to cheer her up.

"Of course, you don't have to keep everything to yourself, besides, you can visit your old friends sometime" Petunia spoke with a bright smile. "Okay?" Fay nodded and Petunia gave her a small hug.

Boys' talk avoided, and that was all that mattered at the moment, so Fay just enjoyed the rest of the day.

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><p>Back in school, she started to go to the library again, she didn't meet with Filip there, and it was better that way, it wasn't certain yet how to confront him. Though they met occasionally around school, their eyes meeting from a distance and smiling, that was all.<p>

More naturally, she was becoming friendlier with Spencer, without any further intention of course, at least from her part. Little talks during lunch, on the hallways, he even asked her phone number to hang out someday. She didn't doubt about it, since they got along so well.

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><p>It had been two weeks since the girls date with Petunia and Gili, and Fay hadn't used the headband Gili'd given to her so she was starting to feel guilty, she liked the present; she just wasn't use to wear that kind of cute things. She finally decided to use it; since it was a hot day, she wore a white tank top with a pleaded black skirt. Her grandma always gave her all kinds of cute clothes but she barely used any of those. Finally, her black converse and the new headband on her hair. She didn't look bad, she thought that was actually a good look, but was still too much, the tank top and the short skirt wasn't her kind of thing, but it was getting late and there was no time to try another thing, so she just took a black cardigan and put it on.<p>

Fay called Gili and told her to go ahead. And even when she ran half of the way to school, she got late. Class had already started, but nothing she could do, she went in and everyone stared at her.

'_Just Great'_.

The blush making its way up her face wasn't of any help, but she quietly reached her sit and the teacher just waited in silence.

She sat and let out a sigh, turning her head to see Gili looking at her with a mischievous smile on her face.

"What?" Fay whispered under the teacher's voice, it'd been enough with the arriving late, she didn't want to be scolded for talking during class.

"You are wearing my headband~" An overly excited Gili responded while hiding behind a textbook.

"Well, it's actually mine, but yes" Fay said faking annoyance with a half-smile on her lips.

"And you look so cute today, I mean, you look like a doll!" Fay rolled her eyes. After some giggles from her friend and an unsatisfied look from the teacher, Gili kept quiet for the rest of the class. But it was becoming embarrassing for Fay since everybody was giving her a weird look, maybe she looked too strange dressed like that, she was usually more loose and simple when it came to clothes.

When it was time for lunch, Fay couldn't stand it anymore. She wasn't a very secure person about her own look, which didn't help her to understand that people were staring because she looked different, but not in a bad way. She managed to get rid of Gili saying she had to talk with Mr. Pop and went to look for a place to be alone. There was a double door at the end of a hallway, at one side of the school theater entrance; she opened it, and it led to a courtyard. She had barely seen it once or twice before, during PE class, but had never been there. A lot of nature and flowers, actually a beautiful sight for a more poetic person, which doesn't mean she didn't enjoy it.

It wasn't too long before she recognized the scenario, seeing the big tree shining between all the other things. It was like her dream, maybe she was dreaming again because she got caught in the moment and walked to it, being finally aware she was actually awake, at the touch of the rough trunk. She leaned against it and let herself fall. Sitting there with her eyes closed and caressing the grass around her with her fingertips, she let out a sigh of relief. The soft wind against her skin, the smell of the flowers and the humidity of the nature, a faint scene of a perfume from an unknown source, made her feel so calm and free that it was almost like flying.

"Having a rough day?" His voice startled her, opening her eyes in surprise and pressing her fingers against the ground she looked up to find Filip standing at her side wearing a smile she couldn't figure out. Wondering for how long he had been there, she was speechless. So he decided to help her. "I was just here before you, if you didn't see me"

"Oh...I'm sorry"

"I didn't mean it like that, it's because you look so surprised to see me" He laughed and crossed his hands over his chest.

She responded with a nervous laugh

"So…how have you been?"

"F-fine" Her tone was doubtful which make him frown, but not in an angry gesture, it was more like trying to see what she really meant.

"Mind if I sit?" She denied with her head and he sat next to her "So, what are you doing around here? You're usually with your friends"

"I-I don't know, I just wanted to be alone"

"I can go away if you want to"

She looked at him, thinking that may have been rude of her. But he looked really peaceful; mimicking her earlier position, with his head leaned against the wood, his hands caressing the ground and his eyes closed.

"No, I want you to stay" He opened one eye just to see her exact expression, but was forced to blink and open the two of them when he found her leaned closer to him, her face with a gesture of plead. She really wanted him to stay. When she realized how small was the gap between the two of them, she moved backwards quickly. A sheepish blush appeared on her cheeks. After looking at her, he kept his straight face and went back to his previous position closing his eyes.

"That just makes you look cuter" He said, in a serious tone and she wasn't sure if she heard right.

"Wh-what?" She asked, confused

"That blush, you just look cuter like that…like a doll" There was total silence, she didn't even moved, so he turned his head to check if she was still breathing, the soft pink on her cheeks was now a burning red, her eyes wide and teary, her lips slighted open, her hands flat over the grass in front of her and her body still half turned towards him "Are you okay?" He couldn't help but smile and waited for her to regain her breath or to break apart, it wasn't sure what would be her reaction.

"Yes, I…" but she didn't know what to say. Her mind tangled with the damn doll thing again, and what did he mean saying she was cute? Did that mean he though she was pretty, or was he just making fun of her? His smile just grew wider.

"Look up there" He said pointing up to a little bird building a nest over the tree.

"I-I don't really like birds" She responded.

"Really? No even the small ones?"

"No, none of them...they're all hideous" She said making a face of disgust "Actually, anything that flies or reminds me about heights, I really hate heights"

He laughed and they started to talk more freely, the change of subject had been a good idea. They talked and talked about trivial things losing the track of time, a lot of questions about likes and don't likes, nothing too personal; the smell of nature which they both enjoyed, they were both allergic to peanuts, which they found funny since there was always, without fail, some kind of peanut on the school cafeteria's desserts; some awkward silences, let the time pass. When they realized it was time to class, she decided to wait another hour for the next period because it was already late and there was no way she would go late into a classroom again. She told to him what had happened in the morning and even when she insisted for him to attend to his class he said he wasn't planning to show up for the rest of the classes anyway.

"You should be going back, if you don't want to be late" He said in a mocking tone and she looked at him not wanting to let go of the moment. It felt so nice to be with him, he didn't look any like the people said he was. The only problem was, she already knew that a lot of those things were true, as she'd already been witness of his worst side. If only she could forget all of that, if only she could be sure it'd been all a nightmare, but it wasn't, it was real, and it was time to go.

"Whenever you want to talk again you can find me here" Filip said.

"Anytime? You never go to classes or something'" She asked in an indifferent tone, trying to hide her curiosity.

"Not very often" He responded trying to hold on a smile to her reaction.

"O-okay" She spoke softly and started to walk away. After being some meters apart, she turned back to wave at him as a goodbye when she realized she hadn't said anything else when she left and he waved back.

While he wasn't sure if she would come back, she was certain they would meet again.

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><p><strong>Review! I love reviews x3<strong>

**P.S. Chapter 7 almost ready~ :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello! ^^**

**Fantastic bloody maniac, ****SoraDN, ****TheFeyRa, ****therosiesweetheart, ****G-nade, ****DragonDemonKiller and Darkwolf L thank you all for the reviews and the adds :3**

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><p>Fay had always been a dreamer, the kind that prefers to image thousands of different worlds full of the marvels you won't find in real life, instead of being focused all the time on the boring reality. A lot of her classes were full of those moments; even she couldn't explain her good grades, which weren't perfect, but pretty good for someone who had her mind absent half of the time. There were usually people she knew in those 'fantasies', just to give it a name, no one in particular, just random people that her mind chose to use. But this time, it wasn't much of a fantasy as it was a memory, she was rewinding her last moment with Filip, every detail and word they said, it was like watching a movie on her mind over and over again. For her, it was a first, it'd been really nice to be with him, and she really liked him as a friend, but this was going beyond that. She couldn't stop thinking about it. Or maybe it wasn't even that she couldn't, it was that she didn't want to stop thinking about it, which felt kind of weird, it was becoming obsessing and she wasn't use to have that kind of interest in anyone she'd met. Maybe she was going crazy, maybe his unbalanced behaviors had actually had a bad effect on her making her go mad, but that didn't matter at the moment, it was a great feeling that filled her when she thought about him. Besides, those awful moments were already gone, and the new ones were going over them, erasing the hideous things that were being left in the deep of her memories.<p>

She was wondering, if it could be that she liked him…not as a friend, but like him for real. She was dense enough to not realize her own feelings, but self-conscious enough to see it was the first time she had this weird infatuation for someone, adding to the point, that this someone was probably insane, and she was as scared of him as fascinated by him. Trying to remember, all those times she read about love, the feeling of butterflies on the stomach, the pounding heart every time you see the person you love, the craving for the moment they would finally see each other, even if a short time has passed and the hollow sensation when you aren't with that person, the desire of being together forever and not wanting to live if the other person was no longer there. A little too much for her to understand, but she did her best at making a somewhat too calculating analysis of her feelings.

'_Well, I don't thing I feel bugs inside of me, which would be kind of disturbing, how can people say that's a good feeling? I'd feel like throwing up. What I feel when I'm with him…is more like a warm sensation that fills me up, yeah, something like that. __My heart beats faster too, but…I don't know, that could be just fear. And…I do want to be with him again, but I don't think I'd want to die if I'm not…'_

It was becoming too complicated, and there was something distracting her, there was too much silence, it was suspicious, except for that little and familiar voice whispering her name that was becoming really annoying, if it wanted to say something, it should just say it, whatever it was, instead of just being calling her name. It wasn't until Gili nudge her with enough force, that she realized the teacher was in front of her, giving her a disapproving look and everyone else in class staring at her. She was obviously not paying attention, so when the teacher asked her a question, she didn't even bothered to look at him, and not even Gili who was sitting next to her, was able to get her out of her trail of thoughts. It took several apologies before the teacher stopped his speech about paying attention specially dedicated to Fay.

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><p>"You have to stop doing that" Gili said when they were heading to the laboratory "You freak me out when you do it, and, well, you know what happened today with Mr. Molek"<p>

"I'm sorry" Fay responded in a whimper "But the class was soo boring, I couldn't help it" Yet she knew that wasn't the only reason.

"It's always boring with Mr. Molek, but…okay, but next time, listen to me, you don't even pay attention when I call your name"

"Oh, so you were the little annoying voice" Fay said laughing.

"What do you mean by 'annoying'?" She frowned at Fay.

"You know, like…when you hear a cute little voice that is soft, but still not enough to bear with it being inside your head" Fay explained in such a serious manner that you would think she was talking about astrophysics. But it didn't matter, she was making no sense, and Gili had a puzzled expression all over her face.

"What are you talking about? You are one crazy missy, but I forgive you just for the 'cute' part" She finally responded between giggles.

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><p>It was Saturday morning, and Fay was getting ready to go to Mr. Pop's house, she wanted to meet little Curt again, and when Mr. Pop told to her that he really missed her and had been asking for her, the opportunity showed up.<p>

He received her with a hug that she welcomed. After giving him some candies she bought for him, they went out to play. Little Curt had learnt how to ride a bicycle and was really excited to show Fay how good he was at it.

She was sitting on the sidewalk while watching over Curt when her cellphone rang.

"Hello?" She answered the phone.

"Hi Fay" A familiar voice talked at the other side of the line, thought it sounded different at the phone, more mature, she recognized it.

"Spencer?" She said a little surprised, that was the first time he called her.

"Of course it's me, don't you check your cellphone screen before picking up?"

"Well…no"

"You're helpless" He sighed "Anyway, are you busy today?"

"Actually, ye-yeah, kind of"

"Yes, I can see. Mind if I join you?"

"What? Where are you?"

"Well, I'm close enough" He answered and she remembered what Petunia had said, he lived near. She started to look around on the streets but couldn't see anyone but Curt going up and down the path with his bike "I live on a house, not on the street, just for you to know" He continued in a mocking tone.

Fay looked around again, and finally saw him, two houses up the street, sitting on his porch.

"Why did you even call me? Just come over" She said impatient, waving at him to come, those games of him were annoying some times.

"Okay, okay. Do you miss me that much?" He said and was already close enough for her to see his wide smile mocking her; she just hanged her phone and turned to look at Curt again.

"Spencer!" Curt called him out loud when he was sitting next to Fay.

"Hi Curt! You're doing great" And Curt responded with a smile.

"I taught him to ride" Spencer said to Fay nodding, showing himself very proud of it.

"Really? That's really nice of you" Fay said with a smile.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"How I am making fun of you? I just think it's funny, and nice, that you spent time with Curt"

"Because, you're being really mean. First you hang the phone up on me, and then you laugh at me"

"So, it can be only you, the one who is always playing around with people"

"I don't do that kind of things" He said, and he sounded really offended by her words, but his smile gave him away.

"Okay~"

"So, how are you? Babysitting again?"

"No, I just wanted to visit little Curt" She said smiling "I like your perfume by the way" It was a really nice essence, soft and a bit sweet but yet manly enough, it was just like him. But it seemed somewhat too familiar, though she couldn't remember why.

"Is that your pick up line or something?" He said and she turned to look at him narrowing her eyes, while his, where shinning in anticipation to her reaction.

"Are you stupid or something?" She tried to make it sound as harshly as possible, but with him smiling that way, she couldn't help it but smile as well.

"I'm just asking…" He said, speaking really slowly and articulating every word to enjoy the answer he would get "Are-you-hitting-on-me?"

"Wh-what? No!" She said with her eyes wide and an emerging blush on her cheeks. She covered her face with both hands when he burst out laughing, embarrassed the she'd fallen again on one of his jokes "Who is the mean one?"

"I'm sorry, you, cry baby"

"I'm not crying" She glanced between her fingers and he wasn't laughing at her anymore but still had a small smirk on his lips.

"I said I'm sorry" He gave her a hug that made her feel kind of nice and uncomfortable at the same time, but it was a quick hug so it didn't bothered her.

"It's okay, but you know? One day I'll get tired of you"

"I don't think so"

They talked and joked and all day went by like that, they played with Curt and Fay panicked when the little one asked if Spencer was her boyfriend, he joked saying she was his girl but he would gladly share if it was just with Curt which made his little auburn eyes shine in emotion. Fay denied it all and the thick blush appeared again when Curt said it was too bad, he was even disappointed and didn't doubt about expressing it saying they should be together because he'd only want to share with Spencer too. With that, he earned a scold from Mr. Pop saying she wasn't an object, so he couldn't talk about her like that. When his eyes where glistening with tears that he was holding bravely, she said it was okay and gave him a hug that made him forget everything. Spencer was enjoying himself laughing all the time.

When it was already bed time for Curt, Spencer offered to walk Fay home, and after an unusual silence, he spoke.

"And ..what about your friends?"

"What about them?"

"Are they nice? Have you been making new friends?"

"Hmm, yes, I like them and…no, they're basically the same"

"…And what about…Filip" That took her by surprise but she hid it as best as she could.

"Wh-what about him?" She responded without looking at him, she just stared at the dark pat ahead.

"Are you friends with him?"

"Yeah…kind of, b-but is not what you're thinking" She said a little too fast.

"And what is it that I'm thinking Fay?" His serious tone scared her; she wasn't used to this Spencer. Intimidating, that's how he looked like.

"I…don't know"

"Exactly, you don't"

There was a moment of silence and she didn't want to talk anymore, but she wanted to know why he was asking about Filip.

"So…What are you thinking?" She finally spoke.

"To be honest, I don't know what to think"

"I see…"

"I saw you the other day, you know? With him, under that tree"

Realization hit her, that's when she'd smelled that perfume, his perfume. But how far, or how close he was that she could smell it. Even if the wind had dragged the smell he had to be really close.

"And...what d-did you think?"

"That I don't want you to get hurt"

"I won't"

"Are you sure?"

"…" But she couldn't respond to that, if she was sure about something, was the existence of doubts about Filip. With him, she didn't even know what to think, so it was impossible to explain.

"Fay…"

"I'll be fine. I've just talked with him a couple of times and he seems…nice"

"I don't trust him"

"I know…and I'm sorry, but I can take care of myself"

"I doubt that"

"What does that mean?"

"That I don't think you should meet with him"

"Spencer…I'm not her, and I'm capable of take care of myself even if you don't believe me" But she was lying, again, to one of her friends, maybe she was as crazy as Lannie, she'd be the new crazy girl and people would talk about her instead, but she didn't want to think about it. Spencer didn't respond either; he was looking down, his hands on his pockets. She felt a twinge on her heart. She shouldn't have mentioned Lannie, she couldn't believe she did it knowing it'd hurt him so much "I-I'm sorry, I didn't…I know you're just worried about me, but I trust you so please trust me"

"No, you're right, I shouldn't meddle" She looked at him, his face was solemn, so serious; she didn't like to see him like that.

"No, it's me who was wrong. I'd worry about you too"

"Are we gonna have a fight of apologies or what?" He said smiling again, and she knew his good mood was back.

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><p>"What are you thinking about?" The girl's soft voice sounded on the emptiness of the classroom, it was just the two of them, everybody else was watching the soccer match. The screams of excitement and the music could be heard from the distant, though it was almost a faint murmur overpowered by the silence.<p>

"You don't want to know" Filip responded while he looked bored outside the window, his face cupped in one of his hands and his elbow resting on the table while his stare was lost into the space.

"If I asked is because I want to know" She insisted looking at him. She was sitting two tables apart and was drawing small doodles on a piece of paper, raising her eyes once in a while to look at him, without being able to figure him out. There was one minute of silence, she thought he was just ignoring her and wasn't going to answer, so she went back to the paper.

"Then, let me put it this way. It's for the best if I don't tell you"

The girl dropped the pen on the table and looked at him again.

"You can't know that, if you don't tell me first" She insisted but even like that, she couldn't make him look at her.

"What if I tell you is none of your business then" He said the words, but his tone was still bored, no emotions in him, not even anger.

"Why are you like this, why can't you go back to how you were before" Those words made him finally turn his eyes to her.

"And how is that Lannie?"

"You were…different. I could see what you were feeling, even though you were distant, you were nicer to people. But now, is like you're empty…you can't hold your feelings like that forever" Her tone was almost desperate.

"Yeah, because before everything was perfect, right?" He said and you could feel the slight tone of sarcasm on his voice.

"It was better" She muttered and he barely heard her, but it was enough to understand.

"Really? It was better when in one of my outburst of feelings that you like so much I almost choked you to dead?" He was back to ignore her and looking outside of the window.

"It doesn't matter to me"

"Well, it matters to someone"

"…" She didn't answer, she knew he wasn't talking about him, he was talking about Spencer.

"You didn't tell him, right?" But she kept in silence. They had never talked about that before "You didn't tell him the whole story, because if you did he'd have tried to kill me for real"

"This and that have nothing to do with Spencer!" She finally raised her voice, and he knew he wouldn't stand her for long.

"What are you even doing here Lannie? This isn't your classroom"

"I knew you'd stay here"

He didn't say anything else, didn't even bothered to look at her again, he just walked out of the room, but something hold him on his way out, it was Spencer that was going in, they stared into each other eyes without saying a word and kept their own way.

Spencer walked in, almost out of breath, his hair was messy, his face slightly red and drops of sweat falling down his face. Apparently he didn't hear their conversation, he just looked down when he noticed Lannie was in there. It was the middle time of the game, so he had 15 minutes. He took a bottle of water from his bag and a small pill that he swallowed after a drink of water. It was just a medicine for the cold. He couldn't allow himself to get sick during soccer season.

He hadn't noticed Lannie was looking at him the whole time until she spoke.

"Are you dying or something?" She said in a cold voice.

"Yeah…" He laughed "You wish" he finished with a slick tone. She didn't responded to that but deep down, being that harsh with each other, truly hurt them both.

She cleared her throat which made him look at her again, she was staring, like expecting something. Apparently, she was still waiting for an answer.

"What" He seemed confused but answered anyway "I'm okay, it's just a cold…and what about you?"

"What do you mean? I'm fine"

"When are you going to stop it?" He spoke sharply, referring to her twisted platonic relationship with Filip.

"Stop what!" She snapped back.

"You know what I mean, don't play stupid"

"Are you going back to that?"

"I just can't stand it, you look pathetic" He scoffed.

"What? And what about _you_, with the new girl?" She slammed her hands on the table and stood up.

"What does Fay has to do with it"

"Well, _Fay_ or whatever…" She said with a spiteful tone "Don't you think people talk about those stuffs? She even went to your house, and how long have she met you? What a slut she is"

"It was Mr. Pop's house, it's none of your business who I am with, and don't badmouth about her"

"What? Are you gonna stand up for her? Yeah, sure, you must be getting some from her, that's why"

"Shut up!" Even when they'd argued a lot of times before, he rarely raised his voice to her "You don't know her at all, since when…since when, Lannie are you the kind of person that make up stuff about people you don't even know. I've realized you're out of your mind, but you are despicable now, I thought you couldn't become any worst"

"What are you saying? What is it with that stupid bitch that everyone thinks so high of her! I can't stand her or you!" She was now screaming, her face red and her breathing heavy. He had seen her like that before, when she got mad it was like a storm, but he didn't care right now, he wouldn't allow her to talk that way about Fay.

"Are you jealous?" He said playing his part way too well, wearing his typical smirk to get the worst out of her, but it was a more harsh gesture than the usual, almost hateful. If he usually got the worst out of her, she also did it with him, and he hated it, but it didn't matter anymore.

"I'm not!"

"Then shut up"

"Just…die"

"I thought you didn't want me to die"

She sat and brushed her hair harshly with her fingers, annoyed. It hurt. The only thing she heard next, was the door closing after him.

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><p><strong>This time there wasn't much of FxF D: I'm sorry! x|<strong>

**I hope you liked it anyway ^^**


	8. Chapter 8

**SoraDN, Therosiesweetheart, G-nade, Fantasticly RAsh Bloody Manic, AmayahUchiha, DreamsOfTheWaterWolf, Infinity Guitars, Bored Failure, ALTokio thank you! :3**

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><p>He wanted to be alone, more exactly, he needed to be alone. Away from everyone and away from Lannie, she was basically the main problem, because other people just stayed away from him, while she'd stick at his side. She was usually a nice girl, but he couldn't afford having close friends, especially when they could become as annoying as her.<p>

Even so, he couldn't be alone, not when she was waiting there for him. If there was just one person in the world he would like to be with at that moment rather than being alone, it'd be her. He shouldn't, but he wanted to be careless and let the selfish wish of being with her to overpower him. He needed to be careful, he really wanted to protect her from himself, but it was like she was able to destroy all his barriers, which was really dangerous, he was sure she still didn't realize how risky it was, but he couldn't resist her. He wanted to blind himself for one moment and let her drag him with her, with just the hope that everything would be okay and he wouldn't ruin it.

Fay was resting unknowingly under the shadow provided by the big tree, she wasn't sure if she was waiting for him anymore, it was the second time she went there and didn't find him, it was disappointing at the beginning but later she'd get distracted looking at her surroundings and enjoying the moment, because although he wasn't there, everything in the place reminded her of Filip. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel his presence.

When he approached her and the breaking leaves made a cracking sound under his shoes, she turned around to welcome him with a bright smile. That was more than enough to break through his last piece of determination.

"H-Hi!" She said showing herself a bit awkward. The slight tint of red on her cheeks made her glow even brighter.

"Hey" He said back, wearing half a smile "Aren't you going to watch the game?" He asked while walking closer and sitting next to her.

"No…I don't really like sports, so …no" That obviously wasn't the only reason, but she didn't want to look like a stalker saying she was waiting there for him even if an hour had passed "What about you?"

"Well…I don't like sports either" He responded mimicking her gestures. When she spoke about something she didn't like, she'd usually make a face of disgust which was kind of funny. When she realized what he was doing, she looked at him wide eyed and then burst out laughing along with him.

"What's with that?" She asked out of breath between laughs.

"_That_ is just like you"

"You shouldn't want to look as bad as I do"

"You don't look bad at all" He said and his face told her he wasn't joking anymore.

The only reply she could give was a sequence of nervous giggles. If he noticed she was embarrassed, he just pretended like he didn't.

"Were you here waiting for me?" He asked suddenly.

"What?..." She shook her head a little to get focus "Hmm, well…yeah, why?" She said confused by the question, not sure if she should have been honest or just lie. She'd already said it anyway.

"I didn't believe you'd want to talk to me again"

"Why? No…is it…that you don't want me to come again?"

"That's not it"

"Ar-are you sure?"

"Yeah, I actually wanted to talk with you again"

"Really? d-did you need my help for something?" He looked at her a bit taken aback, that had been somewhat embarrassing for him to say, he was meaning that he'd been missing her in some way even if it didn't come out like that, but she didn't get it at all. That made him smile, seeing her face expecting his answer in the most innocent way, she really had no idea.

"No, nothing in particular" That confused her and you could tell. It only made his smile wider.

"Okay…"

"Is it that you came here because you need something from me?" He didn't get offended at the thought, it was actually a more accurate reason for him.

"No, I just wanted to be you" And she said it as if it was nothing. He found her ability to let out her thoughts in that particular way of hers really amazing. Sometimes, she said the things in such an innocent manner that no matter what the sentence would sound like in other person lips, you couldn't feel a hint of double sense or hidden reasons behind the words when she spoke them. It happened of course, only when she wasn't conscious about the meaning of her own words.

"Well, same reason here" She looked at him and smiled sheepishly, his words relieved her in some way.

With him, it was always awkward for her at the beginning, but after a moment she'd get easily used to his company and they started to talk again as if they were close friends. It was basically she speaking and Filip asking; about daily things like classes and her friends, maybe her grandma who was the only relative she really knew and loved. Always trying to talk about the nice things on her life. He didn't talk much about himself, he seemed more interested in knowing about her, Fay didn't asked him either, if he didn't want to talk about him it was okay with her, she'd get to know him like that, talking and laughing, studying his expressions and reactions. His eyes never stopped to captivate her; they really glowed when he seemed happy.

"I think is time for me to go" She said when the bell announcing the end of the match rang, but she didn't want to "I promised Gili to go with her to the mall"

He got up first and offered his hand to help her stand up. She shook off some rests of leaves and dust from her pants and looked at him but didn't say anything.

"Okay. I'll be going too then. See you soon"

"Bye" She responded smiling sweetly.

She turned around to walk away. After giving two steps she felt his hand grabbing hers and his voice calling her name.

"Fay" She looked up at him, he was considerably taller than her and she felt even smaller under his stare.

Fay waited for him to say something, to ask for something but he didn't speak a word nor did he let go of her hand. She didn't know how long it was, because she got lost into his eyes, that happened every time he looked directly at her, that's why she avoided to make eye contact some times, or just looked away when she felt she was losing herself but this time, his stare was so deep that she wasn't able to look away once their eyes met. It could have been one hour or just one second. If they stood there just looking at each other, she wouldn't mind, she wasn't thinking anymore, it was like a spell. It was him, who moved first. He raised his free hand and it wasn't until she felt the warmth on her skin that she realized his hand placed on her cheek.

He brushed some strands of her hair behind her ear and she started to feel it. Warmth inside of her, a sensation on her stomach that made her feel like she was flying, being even tempted to look down at the ground and check if she was floating, but it'd be a waste to lose the moment. A dizziness that didn't feel bad at all, it was something that she'd never experienced before. There was nothing else around them, it was an empty space aside from them both. There was no sound except from her pounding heart accelerating and the sound of his breathing that seemed too close to her.

She sensed him coming closer, feeling his warm breath caressing her lips, soft and sweet, a slight smell of cinnamon mint made her half-close her eyes to enjoy the sensation. But she forced herself to keep them open; it was like she could pass out if she allowed her eyelids to get together. Everything was going in slow motion, the time had almost stopped when she felt his lips on hers, her head starting to spin around forced her to close her eyes; a gentle, lingering touch of the lips moving slowly at the beginning in a soft kiss that later became more intense. A burning tingly feeling running through her body caused her to respond to him in the same needy way, surprising herself. His tongue slipped past her lips and Fay's heartbeat accelerated even more. She had her right hand over her stomach, clenching her shirt while her left hand was squeezing Filip's hand, but he didn't let go, he just tightened his grip on her too. After a few moments of a passionate kiss and overwhelming emotions, the rush of feelings was too much; she was out of breath but didn't want to break apart. He finally gave her space to breathe placing a soft final kiss on her lips.

He looked down and passed his fingers through his hair in a desperate gesture, letting out a sigh with his eyes closed. Fay stood there without knowing what to do, she was still feeling dizzy and gave a step back to recover her balance pulling from his hand in the process. He let go of her hand and placed his arms around her neck instead, in a quick move, dragging her close to him again and being a bit too harsh. But she was actually thankful for that, because she was about to fell to her knees. Still clueless about how to react she just grabbed the hem of his jacket between her hands and closed her eyes while her forehead rested over his chest.

"I'm sorry" She heard him say "…I shouldn't have done that" She nodded and didn't know why. It could be that she agreed with him, that she accepted the apology or that it was okay with her. But there was no time to make things clear. He released her from the hug and walked away.

It probably was a moment of just two or three minutes; she could hear the raising noises of excited people talking loudly about the match and walking around the school to go home. But even though it'd seemed like an eternity, now she was feeling so lonely, that it was like a distant moment that would never come back.

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><p>"Are you hot?" Gili asked Fay while looking through some makeup magazines.<p>

"No, why?" It was actually kind of cold even though outside was a sunny day, inside of the store the air conditioner was at its fullest.

"Because you are all red, not so much now though, are you sure you aren't sick?" Gili said without the slightest bit of suspicion.

Fay swallowed and almost choked herself with the gum. She was trying chewing gum for an hour already to forget the lingering feeling of the kiss, but that obviously wasn't working. They were supposed to be looking for hairstyles magazines, Gili had this new idea for a hobby and Fay and Petunia would be her models. Fay was shocked when she looked at what she was holding on her hands, it was a men's magazine, the kind that has pictures of half naked girls, wet t-shirts, and boobs in every page. She put back the magazine and felt utterly embarrassed, though there was only one person at her side. A middle aged man that was holding one of the magazines, one with a more explicit content while looking at her with a malicious smile that made her feel chills down her spine.

"Fay?" Gili asked at the confused girl, her mind was in a whole different place. Gili was at the other side of the shelf so she didn't noticed that Fay was on the wrong section and that the previous conversation only helped to feed a pervert's imagination. Fay walked past the man and hid behind Gili looking at the ground.

"What-What happened?" Gili said trying to look at her.

"No-nothing…is just, that man was staring at me in a weird way" Gili glared at him and apparently that intimidated him enough to go away.

"He didn't say anything to you, did he?" She asked in the motherly way that she used when she was trying to protect someone, it was amazing how her features changed when she was serious, it was as if the little, cute and clumsy girl were replaced by a mature and strong one. If it was her instead of Fay the one in an uncomfortable situation she wouldn't show herself as strong as she just did; her will for protecting the people she cared about was something to admire.

"No, it's okay now, you're like my superhero" Fay responded to her smiling.

"What?" Gili started to laugh "You're just too soft, it makes you an easy target" She warned Fay.

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><p><em>Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three<em>…were the number of colors Fay found in Gili's room, she didn't remember more than twelve color names, but she counted the dark and light tonalities as well. That was after she counted all the objects she could find in the room and tried to guess the exact moment when Gili would jump again, clapping her hands as a signal of finding a new idea to try with Fay and Petunia's hair.

Anything that would keep her mind clear, she'd try anything. But the questions kept popping up in her mind…Why did he do it? Did he like her? She obviously liked him, but, did he know it? He acted really weird after the kiss, did he regret it? He wouldn't like her, why would he like her? There was no reason, probably he liked Lannie, she was, after all, really pretty. But then why…why did he do it? And it started over again….

"Fay…"

"I don't know!" She responded exasperated.

"What? You didn't even let me finish!" Gili said surprised by her reaction.

"Oh..no! I-I'm sorry! I think I was …day dreaming or something"

"Doesn't matter, you just scared me, now tell me if you like this one" Gili said throwing one of the magazines at her.

"What were you day dreaming about?" Petunia asked while she brushed her own hair trying to repair the damage of Gili's first try. She promised next one would be perfect, which would be good because it was Fay's turn and her hair wasn't all straight as Petunia's, so the repair of damages wouldn't be as simple.

"Don't…know" She replied looking down at the magazine to hide her blush.

"Come on, don't make us worry, just tell me if it's something important that is bothering you, or just a silly thing" Petunia insisted, and her petition seemed quite easy to respond.

"It's a silly thing, don't think about it" She responded sheepishly.

"A silly thing that makes you blush? That sounds interesting" It didn't look so easy now, she clearly wanted to get further into the topic.

"Yeah…kind off"

"What kind of thing?" This time was Gili who spoke, with a voice full of curiosity.

"Nothing" Fay hurried to say.

"Does this nothing has a name?" Petunia asked acting disinterested. Fay looked at her with a puzzled expression, she was pondering the possibility of let them know what was going on in her mind, they were her friends after all, and well, it was obvious she would go crazy trying to figure out the whole situation on her own.

"Hmm…yeah?" She said, insecure.

"Really?" Gili asked, she was getting overly excited already, which made Fay feel like she should take back her words and forget about it.

"I…don't want to talk about it"

"Why not?" Gili said in a whimper crossing her hands over her chest and making a pout. That made Fay laugh.

"That isn't going to work"

"What if…" Petunia started, getting their attention "I ask you a question, and you answer just what you want us to know, if not, you just don't answer"

"Yay! That sounds like fun" Gili said before Fay could give her answer.

"Gili! I'm asking Fay" Petunia told to her with a frown.

"I know" She mumbled looking down a bit embarrassed.

"O-okay…" Fay finally said making her two friends to look at her.

"Hmm, well…" Petunia said putting her index finger on her lips while she thought about what to ask "We can assume that this 'nothing' is a person, right?" Fay nodded.

"Is this person, someone we know?"

"Hmm, ki-kind of"

"Is this person a guy or a girl?"

"A guy"

"Oh my god! Is like we're playing Guess Who" Gili saying smiling happily.

"Shh! Gili!" Petunia complained glaring at her.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, continue" She said putting her hands on her lap in a pose that made her look like a good little girl. Fay found it funny which made her relax a little.

"Okay…" Petunia continued with a sigh "Do you…like this guy?"

"Well…ye-yeah" Making an expression of defeat she answered with a soft voice that her friends could barely hear.

"And is it a good thing or a bad thing that you like him?"

"I think…it's bad"

"Why?"

"…I'm not sure"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"…No"

"Okay, let's see…does this guy like you?"

"I-I don't know"

"But, did something happen, something that made you think he may like you?"

"Kind of…" Fay looked at Gili, she was suspiciously too quiet, the sight was hilarious, she was sitting, staring at Fay with wide and shining eyes, at the verge of exploiting for not being able to say something, you could tell she was holding herself to make a bunch of questions too, but probably questions Fay didn't want to answer yet.

"Don't pay attention to her" Petunia said laughing, she was trying to act mad at Gili and keep her quiet but she really looked like a puppy waiting for someone to give it food.

"Don't be mean! Let me ask one question!"

"Okay do it, but just one"

"Let's see…is he Spencer?"

"Gili…" Petunia said covering her eyes with her palm.

"No, is okay" Fay responded laughing, Gili really couldn't hold it back "Is not Spencer"

"Is not him? !" They asked in unison startling Fay. So that's what they were thinking all along, they were 100% sure it was about Spencer and were pretending they had no idea.

"No…"

"Are you sure?" Gili insisted.

Of course she was sure, what kind of question was that, they were convinced of one idea, but it didn't mean it was real. It was a bad thing if they were always making assumptions, what they would think then if they found out it was Filip…that made her unsure about telling them the truth, maybe it was better if they kept thinking it was Spencer.

"Yes…I'm sure" Fay looked at Petunia expecting the next question, but the girl was as surprised as Gili, it took her a moment to regain her composure now that she really had no idea who they were talking about.

"Well…are you happy about what…kind of happened?" Petunia asked again.

"I think…I-I'm more confused than happy"

"Is it about something he said or about something he did?"

"...It's about something he did...and what he said afterwards"

"Did he kiss you?" Fay opened her mouth but she couldn't articulate one single word, it wasn't necessary anyway, her reaction and the burning blush on her cheeks were more than enough to understand.

"You're too cute" Petunia said to her, laughing.

"What is it that you find cute about it?"

"I don't know, you're just too innocent"

"I know…y-you don't have to laugh at me"

"I'm not laughing at you"

"I know…" Fay responded playing with the pages of the magazine, it was becoming really embarrassing, as she thought it'd be.

"Now, the important thing is, what did he tell you after the kiss?"

"It was…something like he shouldn't have done it"

"And that's all? Didn't he tell you anything else?"

"No…he hugged me though"

"Aww, that's so cute" Gili said and Fay smiled at her nervously but the embarrassment didn't go away.

"You know? I can't be sure, since I don't know who this person is, or what kind of person he is…" Petunia spoke, she was now lying on Gili's bed, looking up at the roof "but he probably likes you…I mean, if he said that, he probably is just scared of ruining the relationship you have so far. It could also mean that he isn't so sure about his feelings and doesn't want to hurt you, so don't get your hopes up too soon…there is also the possibility of him just wanting to play around, but I guess you're able to be careful enough to know what kind of people you are getting involve with, right?"

"…right"

"But Fay…"

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure you like him? I mean, with the kiss and everything, and if he's usually nice to you, you could be confusing your own feelings, which wouldn't be fair with him either"

"I...I haven't thought about it that much, I guess…I-I'll find out eventually" She sighed.

"Why don't you just talk with him, just ask him what was all the kiss thing about, you have the right to know, at least, that way you would know his feelings and think about what to do next"

"Oh gosh! That would be like super embarrassing!" Gili said and Fay nodded, her eyes wide open; that obviously was out of consideration.

"Maybe, but is the easiest way, for real, I'm usually direct with guys and it's always the best way, except with Harry…I liked him so much from the beginning that I wasn't able to let him know"

"I…see" Fay looked at Gili as if waiting for her advice.

"I-don't-know!" She responded denying with her head and holding up her hands "I honestly wouldn't be able to do something like that, but I think he likes you" She finished smiling.

Petunia changed the subject since she knew Fay wouldn't tell them anything else, but the thought of this mysterious guy being Spencer didn't disappear, the idea was really tempting and there weren't many candidates, besides, Fay wasn't the kind to go around talking and kissing with random guys.

'_Talk to him…that isn't going to happen…'_

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it! Review! :3<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

KimmyG15 A new reviewer! Thank you! ^^ I'm glad you liked it

SoraDN Ya sabes q ame tu fic :3 y dibujas? Genial! me gustaria ver uno de tus dibujos :D (por cierto, estoy esperando el cap 20 :P)

Therosiesweetheart Yes! He finally did it, and I was worried it'd be too soon :3 I updated soon, right? :P

G-nade I'm glad you liked it, It was also funny to write that part :D

face951 Thank you for the review! Here is the update, so you don't have to wait long :3

Fantasticly RAsh Bloody Manic I like to think we're special ;3 and don't worry xD I admit it was kind of confusing because the scene was basically the same for both conversations

Mrfluffehz, Vincent-and-Yuffie-FOREVER thank you for adding my story!

**Remember that this kind of sentences: **_'I love FlippyxFlaky'_** are thoughts, there are a lot of those on this chapter, so yeah…don't get confused ^-^**

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><p>Second day of class after the weekend, and she still had to remember herself…<em>'Calm down…just breathe'<em> her heart was speeding up for no apparent reason, there wasn't anything able to make her forget about Filip. Having his cellphone number didn't help at all, she spent hours looking at her phone trying to image what to say and what would be his response, she pictured every possible scenario, all the good and bad ones, she mentally prepared herself specially for the bad ones, even though, she wasn't able to dial his number, she tried, she tried so hard, but her body stopped her every time, and she was hating it. Hating the uncertainty, her cowardice, hating herself, and hating him a little, for making her feel so uneasy, for making her heart go like crazy, for being always in her mind. But she knew that hating him was impossible for her, not when she felt so light and peaceful in her heart even if her mind was constantly wavering. She hadn't forgotten about the first kiss he gave her.

"What do you say Fay?" Shinji asked her, they were on break but she wasn't paying attention to the conversation.

"Ah? About what" She asked confused. He narrowed her eyes at her but then smiled.

"Where is your mind? I'm asking everybody if the party this weekend at our place is okay, and you're the only one who hasn't said if you can go"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Sure, I can go"

"Okay, then it's settled!" Liam said looking excited; they really liked that kind of things.

"Hmm…I want something sweet" Gili, who was sitting next to Fay said to her and stood up to go and buy something.

"I'll go with you" Fay jumped out of her seat, she didn't want to be part of the party organization, she didn't like parties anyway, she'd go just to distract herself.

"I'll go too!" Neal was already at Gili's side; he couldn't hear the word 'sweet' and not being tempted.

There were other people on the line to buy, the first person Fay saw was Lannie, but she wasn't prepared yet, she was lucky she hadn't met Filip the previous day, apparently that was the moment, he was next to Lannie. Maybe he wouldn't notice her, she felt troubled, it would look weird if she went back to the table _'What to do…' _She raised her look to glance at him and there it was, he saw her. Feeling the heat crawling up her face, she looked directly at him wide eyed, he stared at her with a serious face for a moment but then a half smile was drawn on his lips, she responded with a sweet smile feeling relieved. Lannie wouldn't let scape any detail, she immediately noticed that something was catching Filip's attention, it was rare for him to get distracted, she searched around to find Fay who seemed to be smiling in her direction _'Is-is he smiling at her?'_ She thought in disbelieve, but the line moved and she wasn't able to confirm.

"Fay, move!" Neal said behind her since she seemed to be frozen in the spot and the line was starting to advance.

"Ye-Yeah"

"Fay, what do you want to eat?" Gili said while Neal filled his hands with lollipops and gummi bears.

"No-Nothing" She was staring down at the floor, there was no way she'd look at him again, that sole smile had been enough to make her feel as if her heart was going to explode.

"Nothing? But I thought you came to buy something too"

"Here!" Fay grabbed one of Neal's lollipops from his hand "I'll take this one" She said laughing nervously.

"Hey! That's mine" Neal complained pouting like a little kid.

"C'mon Neal, don't be so whiny, just take another one" Gili said to him.

When they were paying Fay couldn't resist it and looked around for him again, she found him, he was going out of the cafeteria, with Lannie of course. He opened the door for her, when she went out, for Fay's surprise, he looked back at her, and when their eyes meet he made her a signal with his head to come. _'Is he asking me to go with them?'_ She looked at him wide eyed while he waited for her answer, she couldn't do anything else but to nod, he smiled and went through the door.

"I-I'll be right back!"

"What? Where are you going?" Gili asked, confused.

"The bathroom!" Fay said back and was already running to the door.

"Hmm? Weird" Neil said looking at Fay.

"What's weird?" Gili asked him.

"Nothing, can you grab two more packets of gummies for me pleasee~ there is no more space in my hands"

"How can you eat so many candies and not die?" Gili responded laughing while taking the two packets of gummies.

'_What is he thinking, is he waiting for me or does he expect me to run after them, why does he want me to go with them anyway? She doesn't like me. Maybe he wants to make things clear for me, in her presence…so I can understand that the other day was everything a joke…'_ When she put her hand on the door to open it, her motivation run away and her world fell to the floor just thinking about it. The worst possible scenario she had thought about was being humiliated while he made it clear for her that he was with Lannie and there was no chance for her. She hadn't realized that she was standing at the half opened door, petrified.

"Fay…" She looked in front of her, and saw Filip standing against the wall, one hand in his pocket and the other one holding a soda. He was looking at her as if wondering what she was doing. She looked around and there was no sign of Lannie.

"Y-yes?" He smiled and held out his free hand to her, she looked at it and without thinking about it, her body moved walking to him to take his hand.

"Hi" He said looking at her on a sweet manner and letting go of her to brush some strands of hair that were covering her eyes.

"H-Hi" She responded awkwardly avoiding his stare.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes…why?" The tone of his voice confused her making her look at him; she didn't know what he meant.

"You look…tired"

"Tired?" She asked tilting her head.

"Yes" He said passing his index finger under her eyes _'Her eyes…make her look so helpless right now, more than usual, she looks so cute like that…no, she looks beautiful, I want to make her even more beautiful, I want…to see her face suffering again, her eyes pleading with tears…'_ He shook his head and withdrew his hand from her in a quick move "Your eyes look tired" He finally said.

"…" She didn't know what to say. Of course she would look tired, she hadn't been able to sleep thinking about him, but she couldn't say that to him.

"Can I call you later?"

"Y-yes, sure"

"Okay, see ya"

He walked away and she returned to the cafeteria. That had been unusual. He talked to her, which was good, but that didn't settled anything, she was at the same point, if anything, she was even more confused.

* * *

><p>'<em>It was her! Since when…Why? Why was he talking to her…we-were they holding hands?'<em>

She was so angry that the pencil she was holding on her hands snapped in half, the sound startled her friend.

"Lannie! What are-" Tottie watched at her friend surprised, she looked so angry, her eyes teary, blood coming down her palm, she cut herself with the pencil when it broke "Are you okay? You're bleeding"

"Wha-No, I'm okay, don't worry" She answered, nonchalantly.

"Are you sure? Let me" Tottie took out a tissue from a little packet she kept on her bag and put it on the wound until it stopped bleeding "Well, it wasn't that bad" She said smiling at Lannie.

"Tottie, don't mind me" She said annoyed, standing up.

"Wait, where are you going, class is going to start!" But she didn't listen, she had something in mind and she'd to accomplish it.

'_Where, where the hell is he? Chemistry lab, library, backyard, I know every place he would go to…maybe an empty classroom, but I can't check them all…the infirmary!'_

And there he was, sitting in the bed next to the window tapping his fingers against the wooden frame. All you could see from there was the street with cars passing by all day, she didn't get why he liked to look at that so much. She stood at the door but didn't move, he turned around to look at her.

"Lannie, what are you doing here?" He didn't sound annoyed, he was asking because he truly wanted to know _'Good, he isn't in a bad mood, but what now…'_

"I-I hurt my hand" _'Perfect!'_ She laughed nervously looking at the cut she did on her palm.

"In that case you should have gone to look for the nurse first, you know she's always on the cafeteria chatting with the cook"

"No, it's just a little cut, I'll disinfect it myself" She walked to the nurse's desk, she always kept the basic things out in case she wasn't there, it was just a little bottle of alcohol, cotton and soft painkillers.

"What are you looking at out there?"

"Nothing"

"I see…" She threw to the garbage a little piece of cotton she'd used and walked to him "It must be a really interesting _nothing_ to keep you here" Placing her hands on the window frame she looked down at the cars passing, as if trying to get a better view.

"You know…I was just talking with Tottie, and apparently she's going to break up with Russell, she said he's too immature, I warned her about it but she didn't listen" That was a total lie, she didn't want to lie about her friend, but she needed to do this, he never paid attention to gossips anyway "And also…this new girl, the one with red hair, apparently she's going out with Spencer" The tapping stopped.

She looked at him, he wasn't calm anymore, his expression told her he was disturbed about what she said _'Wha-what's with that, he actually care?'_

"She's kind of fast, ah?" She continued, laughing; she didn't feel comfortable doing what she was doing, but she had to continue with the charade, she had to find out what was going on, and get her away from Filip "Even if she doesn't look like that…but is understandable, I mean, he's really popular and she's new here so-"

"What are you talking about?" He interrupted.

"What? I just wanted to talk about something"

"Don't make up stuff"

"I'm not…you know I don't do that kind of things, I just heard…that they met because she takes care of Mr. Pop's son and now she goes to Spencer's house all the time, I mean, if they aren't going out, that would just look worst for her" There, that was enough to confuse him, he knew it could be true, Fay did take care of Mr. Pop's son. Lannie hit the right spot and she didn't even know it.

He looked at her with a straight face and she felt scared, he was looking into her eyes so deeply that she thought he would see everything she was thinking.

"You know I don't care about that kind of stuff"

'_Liar'_

Lannie knew that was enough, she would get too nervous if she kept talking, and he wouldn't want to listen to her again. She should feel happy, she made it to trick him, but happiness was the last thing she felt at that moment, how could be possible that he cared about that girl…when she'd always been there for him. There was absolutely nothing special about her, she wasn't even that pretty, she would had to take her out of his mind with her own hands.

* * *

><p>"Fay, you should get some more rest" Petunia said while they waited for the teacher to arrive.<p>

"So you noticed too"

"What do you mean by that? It's obvious, you look so tired, don't tell me you're still worrying about what we talked the other day"

"…it's part of the reason" It was the only reason.

"You haven't talk to him yet, right?"

"Hmm, yeah, but…not about what happened"

"Ask him Fay" It was Gili who talked, which was a surprise even for Petunia.

"What?"

"Yeah, I mean, you want to know, right? You want to know so bad that you can't even sleep thinking about it, you don't have to do it in person, I know Petunia thinks that you should, but I think by phone is fine too…it would be easier"

"I…I don't know, and I said that's not the only reason" _'And I thought Petunia was the clever one' _

"You like him that much?" Petunia asked smiling, but this time she wasn't teasing her, which was even worst, she wanted to help her but she couldn't tell them the truth.

Fay was blushing, she didn't know how to respond, she didn't even know if you can measure how much you like someone _'Can you do that?'_ Suddenly her phone rang _'Perfect timing'_

"I-I have to answer this call" She said and ran out of the classroom.

"Hmm, she escaped from us" Petunia said to Gili.

"Hello?"

"Fay?"

"Y-yes, who is it?"

"It's me, Filip"

"Oh…hi"

"How are you?"

"Fi-fine"

"Do you have something to do after classes?"

"No…"

"Can we meet?"

"Sure"

"Ok, I'll be waiting for you behind the library"

"Y-Yeah"

"Take care"

"You too, bye"

She had been waiting this call for two days, she felt so happy, until she realized what it meant, she would have the possibility to ask him, would she be able to do it?

"Miss Fay, aren't you going to attend class?" The teacher looked at her before going in the room, even if he hadn't arrived, she was supposed to wait inside.

"Y-Yes!" She said running back to the classroom.

* * *

><p>"Gili…I-I can't walk home with you today, I'm sorry!" Fay apologized leaving Gili with her mouth half open to ask why as she ran out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang.<p>

"What was that?" Gili asked to Stephen who was next to her.

"Don't know"

'_I couldn't came up with any excuse…I'll have to think about something next time I talk to her'_ She wasn't paying attention to the path until she bumped into someone. She lost her balance but he grabbed her arm not allowing her to fall.

"Don't run like that" She recognized his voice, it was Filip, she felt embarrassed, that was the second time she ran into him like that.

"I'm sorry"

"You don't have to apologize" He wasn't mad, he was smiling, that made her happy, until she noticed.

"What happened to you?" She said, alarmed. He had a bruise on his cheek, under his left eye. He looked at her as if he had no idea what she was talking about. She reached out her hand sheepishly to touch him and he winced in pain, it didn't look so bad but apparently it hurt.

"S-Sorry!"

"Oh, this? Don't worry, it was an accident"

"What? But it hurts, right?"

"Don't worry, let's go"

'_What really happened to you…and where are we going?'_ She wanted to ask, but didn't dare to. He asked her where she lived, maybe he wanted to walk her home, but that wasn't the path. They walked for 10 minutes until they got to a little park full of tables with chessboards drawn on them, there was only one table taken by a couple of old men with their minds lost in their game.

"Let's sit here" She sat at one of the tables but he didn't "Wait" He let his bag next to Fay and went to a store across the street. He came back with two ice cream cones and then sat in front of her.

"Here, vanilla" She had told to him that vanilla was her favorite flavor.

"Thank you" She said smiling. They ate quietly until they finished the ice cream.

"Fay…" He always called her name in the same way, he said it with a soft voice yet so serious that it startled her for a second, but it was always like that, and she loved how he said it. His elbow was resting on the table while he held his face on his hand "Let's go out on Saturday"

She blinked twice, it was too sudden "Eh?" _'The party'_ "I can't" she hurried to say.

"You can't?" He tilted his head, looking at her in a suspicious manner.

"A party…"

"A party?"

"Yes, I-I have a party…with my friends" _'Did I really said no?'_ She cursed herself.

"At what time is the party"

"I…have no idea. At night?" He laughed, was she asking him?

"Right, it must be at night. Can we go out _before_ the party?"

"Y-Yes! Sure" _'Stupid!'_ She couldn't believe what she'd just done, she could have said to her friends she couldn't go, that simple. She sighed.

Suddenly, he grabbed her wrist sharply, dragging her closer to him over the table, their faces were too close.

"Are all your friends going to this party?" His voice sounded different, he was smiling, but it was more like a sadistic smile. She didn't like it, but she couldn't look away neither.

"I-I don't know, it's Liam and Shinji's, the-they have a lot of friends"

"Is Spencer going to be there?"

"What?" _'Spencer?'_ He held her wrist tighter "It-it hurts"

"Just answer" She felt so weak under his stare that she couldn't think clearly.

"I…don't know"

"Are you going out with him?" Her eyes shot open, she didn't understand why he was asking that kind of questions.

"N-no"

"It's okay" He said letting go of her and stroking her hair "I'm sorry" And he went back to his warm smile. He would drive her crazy; definitely, she felt she was on a roller coaster of feelings. But she didn't care anymore. She smiled back.

"Come on, I'll walk you home" He held her hand all the way home and she couldn't feel happier.

* * *

><p><strong>I waaaaaaaaaant you to give me a review! ;P<strong>

**Bye~**


	10. Chapter 10

Therosiesweetheart Your review made me so happy :'3

KimmyG15 Thank you! (Flacy o.o is that the good side of the evil you? :P)

Mrfluffehz You're so mean! :3 but I understand. I still like it how she's so dramatic :P

G-nade Thank you :3 I love your reviews owo

cbyte64 Thank you! :D 'psychotic evil half that is like flippy', cool :3

SoraDN xD q bien que te gusto :3 a mi también me encanto la parte de Flippy celoso (sigo esperando mas de Al recordarte ;P)

Raccoonmacaroon You're cute x3 thank you! And of course I'll continue ^^

Kina Umuzaki, AziloAngel, keko8 thank you for adding my story! :3

**Finally! Chap 10 ^^**

* * *

><p>"Fayyy, what do you think would be better for tonight, pink or blue? Hmm, I think I'll wear blue, I have a new pair of shoes that match, but I'm not sure…you would help me, right?" It was Saturday morning and she was talking with the typically excited Gili at the phone.<p>

"Yeah, sure" Fay wasn't paying attention; her mind was too busy wondering about Filip's question. She was lying on her bed, turning the pages of a book she wasn't reading, one by one. _'Going out with Spencer?'_ She understood her friends' suspicions, but Filip…he only saw her with Spencer once, and they were just talking. She ended up thinking maybe it actually looked like they were dating.

"Do you already know what to wear?"

"Hmm? No, I'll wear…something" She responded, distracted.

"What?" Her friend said laughing "Don't you want to go? You're acting weird"

"Really? No…I want to go"

"Why don't you come to my house this afternoon and we get ready here, with Petunia"

"Oh…Gili I can't"

"Why? But you said you'll help me to choose what to wear"

"Did I? Gili, I'm so sorry, I have to do some...things, with my mom" She tried to sound convincing.

"So…you're not going to the party"

"Yes, I told you I'll go, we'll just met there, okay?"

"Sure! But I really wanted to go together" She answered with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

"We'll be together at the party, what time are you going?"

"Well, it's supposed to start at 8, we were planning on going a bit earlier to help them prepare everything, but you can go whenever you're ready…just don't take too long, I know Petunia will be with Harrie all night and I don't wanna be the third wheel"

"I promise I'll be there by 8" She responded laughing, Gili had plenty of friends aside from Petunia and Fay, she was just too attached to Petunia, and even to Fay.

"Great!"

"But, please text me the address, I have no idea where it is"

"Sure"

"I have to go now, talk you later, okay?"

"Yes, call me when you're arriving"

"Sure thing, bye"

"Bye-bye!"

As soon as she hung up, she let out a sigh of annoyance, what was she going to wear? She hadn't thought about it, it was the most basic thing, and it didn't even cross her mind, after taking a bath, she wore her pajamas again, what was she thinking.

"Okay…let's see" She usually decided to wear plain clothes. This time though, she really wanted to wear something different, she'd never been on a date before _'It's a date, right?...I should have told Gili, I'm the one who needs help'_

Looking between dresses, jeans, skirts, tank tops, t-shirts, was making it more difficult to decide and she had to hurry, it was getting late.

There was this dress, she only wore it once. It was pink, maybe too girly, she tried it just to see how it looked.

It was a lavender pink strappy dress, at the bottom it was a two layers pleated skirt with a kind of hot pink petticoat as the inner layer. It was a bit short, so she put on a pair of black stocking socks that went up to her middle thigh, they were silk with darker vertical stripes. The dress came with a soft pink sleeveless vest that fell down to her hip.

'_Too-much-pink'_ she thought, looking at her in the mirror. Her cheeks already matched with the color of the dress, but she couldn't deny it looked pretty. She took her pair of pale yellow high cut converse and it was done.

She checked her phone, two new text messages; _Call me when you're ready, _that one was from Filip, just two minutes ago, the other one was from Gili, with the address.

She hurried to call Filip, they would met at the 'chess park', that's how he called it. She ran downstairs, already feeling tense; maybe if she ran, and got to the park a bit agitated, he would think the blush was because she was running.

"Fay" Her mom called her from the living room, which surprised her. She wasn't the kind to rise early so Fay thought she was still sleeping. She looked at Fay with a blank expression.

Behind layers of a worn down makeup, and drinking a big cup of coffee to counteract the effects of the pills she used to take in order to get some sleep, she gave the impression of being so tired. But it wasn't unusual; Fay sometimes wondered if her mom was really happy or just as miserable as she appeared. To think that behind that image Fay hated so much, once existed a beautiful young woman that had thousands of dreams to achieve. One of her biggest fears was to end up just like her mom, she thought of herself as awfully selfish for wanting more, when she was the cause of all the misery the woman in front of her held, but that's what she wanted, a better life away from her, even if it made her a despicable person.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you going?"

That was weird, since when did she care?

"Well…I have this party tonight with my friends, so I gonna met with some of them before" She wasn't a liar, she tried to convince herself a lot about that lately, but she didn't need to lie to her mom, she never asked that kind of stuff, and when she did, she didn't really cared, so it didn't matter.

"Good, why don't you stay with them tonight?"

"What?"

"You heard me, I don't want you to come tonight, I'll have someone coming over, you know…a visit"

'_A visit, right, is that his name?'_

"This-this is my house too, how can you tell me that"

"What's the problem? Just stay with one of your friends, you're old enough"

"What are you talking about? I can't show up at someone's house like that, I don't have that kind of confidence with anybody here"

"Fay…you look pretty today"

"W-what?" She never said anything nice to her _'A compliment?'_ She just looked at her mom astonished and a bit embarrassed, she wouldn't expect that from her.

"I'm saying, that you have become a beautiful girl, that's good, you can get things easily"

"Th-thank you?" She didn't understand what was her point, but apparently she was trying to be nice…on her own way. It was that or she was just trying to change the subject.

"Take the easy way. If you ask a guy to spend the night at his place, he'll agree" She said with an indifferent expression, shrugging.

"…"

She looked at her mom horrified, feeling disgusted, that was what she meant? She wasn't really saying Fay was pretty, she meant that her daughter was old enough to drag a man into bed for a favor? She felt like crying but she wouldn't do it, not in front of her, she didn't say a word, just walked to the entrance and slammed the door behind her.

She ran, and this time she had a real reason but she soon lost her motivation, she wasn't that angry, it was more like a hollow sensation. She guessed, at this point, she'd be used to the relationship she held with her mother, but apparently, it was still a bitter feeling.

* * *

><p>When she got to the park, she saw him looking at the other direction, sitting on a table with his feet on the chair. It was the time to calm down, but she still felt somehow nervous for everything that had been happening and his sudden changes.<p>

"Hey" She stood next to him shyly.

"Fay! Hi" He greeted her smiling.

"Did you wait for long?"

"No, I just arrived" He jumped off the table and stood in front of her, then he gave a step back and looked at her narrowing his eyes, a playful smile on his lips.

"W-what?" She asked as her heart skipped wildly.

"Nothing"

"Nothing?"

"You look pretty" She felt her skin burning. Along with her dress, she imagined herself like a big mass of pink with no shape.

"I-I don't"

"Of course you do, but…"

'_But…'_ She thought lowering her head, ashamed _'…that's so not like you, you look awful in those clothes, that's only for cute girls, you're not that pretty, you are showing too much, it's kind of slutty…which one will be?'_

"Were you crying?"

'_Oh…that one'_

"Umm…no"

"Can't you tell me?"

"It-it's nothing. I just had a stupid fight with my mom" _'Right, that's a normal thing to happen, not like a mom telling her teenage daughter to become a hooker' _She thought.

"Don't think about it, okay?"

"Okay"

"What do you want to do?"

"Hmm…don't know"

"Do you want to go for something to eat?"

"No…not really"

"What about a movie"

"Yeah, a movie would be great" She said pleased, that was something she'd like to do with him.

They took a cab and headed to the mall.

Between romance, action and horror, they went for the comedy movie. He ended up making the decision, indirectly, since Fay just rejected the others. Romance wasn't her thing, besides she'd feel embarrassed with every loving scene; she hated action; and horror only would make her spend a sleepless night. 'Whatever you want' were her only words, but just by looking at her face he knew she would hate it, he smiled at how easy it was to read her expressions and asked her about another option.

It was a date, it was definitely a date, holding hands made them look like a couple and there was a part of her who found it so utterly embarrassing that didn't want to think about it, but there was this other part, that was enjoying so much the moment, that it became totally bearable.

After the movie they still had time to go and play on the bumpers cars, it was really fun, she ended up being quite skilled at it, he was surprised, the fearful little Fay, who never dared to do anything aggressive was beating him on the game while she was crashed only once, and it wasn't by him, it was a little kid that looked like one of those children who can't be controlled even by theirs mothers; he was probably 12 years old and was chasing after Fay the whole time, since the game begun.

"That was fun" He said as they went out of the mall.

"Yeah" She responded laughing.

"You surprised me" He said with a chuckle.

"It-it was a surprise for me too, it was the first time I played in one of those"

"Really? That was amazing" She just laughed "And well, little Dennis the Menace there has a crush on you" He said in a mocking tone.

"Who?"

"The annoying little kid who looked little the one in the movies"

"Oh, yeah" She said smiling "But…a crush?" She felt a somehow embarrassed "He was just trying to have fun"

"Yeah, sure, he didn't stop staring at you, even when were at the movies, he was clearly having fun"

"What? H-he was there? I didn't see him"

"Well, I saw him and I was kind of jealous, you know?"

"Re-really?" She was speechless, he was obviously teasing her but she didn't know how to respond.

"You can't blame him though"

She looked up at him while they walked trying to read what he was thinking. Smiling at her, he thought he wouldn't repeat how pretty she was, that would only make her feel more uncomfortable.

It was 6:30 pm when they ordered at the restaurant, it was a quiet and nice place, there was ice cream for dessert on the menu so it was perfect for her, she wasn't a sweets lover, but if it was ice cream, she couldn't resist.

"Are you having fun?"

"Y-yes" She said smiling widely.

"That's' good" She was going to ask why, then she remembered how pathetic she must have looked when they met. She hadn't thought about it, she'd have to ask Gili or Petunia to stay with one of them. It would be embarrassing, but she had no choice.

"At what time do you have to go?"

"At eight" She said, not very enthusiastic.

"Good, we still have time"

"Y-yeah…"

"Say, are you okay living here? I mean, I bet it was better where you lived before"

"W-well, at the beginning I definitely hated it, I found this place hideous, I think it was just because of a bad memory from years ago"

"A bad memory?"

"Yes. I lived here, but it was just a 2 months stay, I don't even know why we moved here, I think my mom was looking for someone…I never asked, I was a child, it was on vacations so I didn't go to school, I didn't want to go out and play with other kids in the park neither; the sky here is usually cloudy and that scared me, I was alone all the time so in general it wasn't a pleasant experience at all"

"And what about now?"

"Well, it isn't that bad" She said laughing "I've come to appreciate the good things, I mean, this place is still kind of scary and I wasn't use to this type of environment…with all the nature and stuff, but the landscapes here are breath taking, besides, there are my friends…" _'there is you…'_ "…they are great people; normally I don't find people I like so easily"

"That's nice…am I one of those friends you like?"

"Of-of course!" She said a bit too excited, she felt uncomfortable after doing it, so she looked down and put her hand on her mouth. He started laughing which made her laugh too.

"You blush easily" He commented.

"Y-yes, I'm sorry"

"What?" He chuckled "Are you really apologizing for blushing"

"I-I don't know" She said unsure, but still laughing, even if she was embarrassed, he made her feel good, and happy.

"You are one of kind"

"I-I think I am, and not in a good way"

"No, it's good, it's definitely good" He said smiling at her.

They didn't talk much after that. The dinner was nice. He stared at her most of the time making her blush once more. They were sitting in front of each other so she just smiled at him awkwardly to then focus on her food again. When she couldn't handle it anymore she looked at Fillip narrowing her eyes, trying to figure out what he was up to, with a gesture of _what are you doing? _He just shrugged or denied whit his head putting up with the urge to laugh. They ended up laughing for no reason just by looking at each other, until the people around them started to look at them weirdly.

"Shhh, you're scaring people" He whispered at her.

"M-me? It's you who are laughing at nothing"

"Well, maybe I like to scare people, but why are you laughing too then"

"I-I'm laughing…because of you"

"Me? But I didn't say anything funny"

"And you think that making that face isn't funny?"

"I don't know what you are talking about" He said looking away while glancing at her by the corner of his eyes, a mischievous smile on his lips. She put her two hands over her mouth trying to stop the laughing. In his eyes, she was the most adorable girl that could ever exist, that's why he stared at her so much, that's why he liked to make her smile.

"We should take off, your friend is waiting for you, right?" She nodded.

He looked at his watch "If we take a cab you'll be there by 8:10"

She didn't know where it was, but he'd go with her. Earlier, she asked him to stay with her but he said he didn't like crowded places, besides it wouldn't be good if people saw them together, she didn't insisted, already knowing it was a bad idea.

"Ca-can we walk instead?" She asked shyly.

"Sure, but it'll take us around 30 minutes"

"Yeah, that's fine too"

She just wanted to spend a few more minutes with him, she'd go to the party, she promised Gili after all, but just a few more minutes, wouldn't be bad at all, the date had been great, he was behaving so nicely that it felt perfect, getting to know him better was the best part.

"I think here is okay" He said as they stopped walking "You see the blue house across the street? That's the one"

They were three houses away, it was true he didn't want anyone to see them together, she didn't question his reasons. She had to admit, she didn't want that to happen neither, it'd be just too difficult to explain, the gossips would spread and people looking at her weirdly was the last thing she needed, maybe that was his reason too, maybe it was something less encouraging, but she didn't had the mind to be worrying about that at the moment.

"Ye-yeah, thank you" She smiled at him as he looked down at their entwined hands. He tangled around his fingers some strands of red hair that fell over her left shoulder, reluctant to let go of her.

"Take care"

"Yes"

"Okay, bye then"

"Bye" She said and walked to Liam and Shinji's glancing back every few moments until she reached the door and saw him walking away.

Luckily it was Gili who opened the door to receive her with a hug"Fayy! You didn't call me"

"Oh, right, I forgot I was going to call you"

"I was worried, I was about to call you"

"I'm so-"

"Omg! Fay you look so cute today" Gili interrupted, scaring her.

"Wha…Oh, thank you" She said laughing timidly "You too"

"And don't worry about the call, but you have to be more considered with your friends Fay" She said with a giggle.

"Okay~" Fay responded smiling widely.

"Let's go in, there are already plenty of people here, but I was waiting for you, Petunia hasn't come, I don't know what she's thinking…or what she's doing" She said to Fay opening her eyes with a muffled giggle, giving her an _if you know what I mean_ look "She's at Harrie's, but I mean, they'll have time for that later, she's staying at his place tonight anyway" Fay blushed slightly at the implied comment about her friend's sex life, she wasn't used to have that kind of _talks_, though she knew it was probably a normal topic of conversation between close friends, it was the first time she had friends whit which she could share that much.

"Fay! You're finally here! Gili was driving me crazy about-Whoa…" Liam said approaching them with a wide smile, as always.

"W-what?"

"You look good~!" He said patting her head roughly messing her hair and laughing.

"Right, right?" Gili said excited "She's so cute!"

"You two make me feel like a pet" She said fixing her hair.

"Aww, don't say that" Gili said holding her hand almost dragging her. They sat on the back yard, most people were inside. The house was quite big, she saw many people she knew from her classes, and many others she hadn't seen before. An hour passed and it was getting crowded, Petunia had finally arrived, but Gili was right, she spent most of the time with Harrie and his friends.

"Are you okay? You seem distracted" Gili asked Fay.

"Yeah, I'm okay" She assured trying to look happy.

"Okay…at what time do you have to go Fay? I have to leave early, probably eleven…" She said, gloomy "I have this trip tomorrow morning with my family, we're going to visit my cousin's new baby" The part of the baby seemed to cheer her up.

"Hmm, I'll go when you go then, I just came to be with you anyway"

"Aww, that's so sweet" She said happy "My brother is coming to pick me up, we'll take you home"

"Oh, okay, thank you" _'Wait…a family trip tomorrow? I don't want to go home today, what I'm gonna do, I can't ask Gili to stay with her now'_

"I'll be right back" Gili said heading to the bathroom, letting Fay with the uncertainty of what to do.

"Hey Fay" She looked up to find a smiling Shinji standing next to her.

"H-hi" She said with a nervous smile.

"You okay?"

"Y-yes, why?"

"You look tense, wait here" He said running away. One minute later and he was back.

"Here" He handed her a mug full of a dark liquid, she looked at it and held it with her two hands.

"W-what is it?"

"It's a beverage, my mom drinks it, for the nerves" She suspected for a second, but it wasn't one of those plastic cups that everyone was using to drink, and with her mind all messed up, it was enough to trust his word.

She drunk a bit of the bitter liquid "Eww…" She said making a face of disgust.

"What were you expecting" He said to her smiling "C'mon, drink it all at once, if you do it fast it will be better" And she did as he said. It didn't have a good taste but it was kind of refreshing. She made a grimace and handed him the mug.

"Th-thank you"

"Want another one?"

"No, it's okay"

However, he ran back with another full mug "I told you it was okay" She received it reluctantly, he took, after all, the trouble to go for another one for her. Gili came back and when Fay looked around, Shinji was already gone.

"Oh…" Gili said looking at her "I didn't know you like to drink"

"Hmm?" It was really working, she felt her body was relaxer now.

"Are you drunk already or what?" Gili said joking.

"W-why" She laughed "I don't like to drink"

"Then what are you doing?"

"What, this? It's a beverage" Gili narrowed her eyes and got closer to her, smelling the liquid.

"Fay, it's beer"

"Oh…really?" She was already too sleepy to make a good process of the situation.

"You knew…right?" Gili asked skeptical.

"Oh, yeah…sure"

"But are you okay?"

"Yes Gili, I'm okay" She kept sitting there, while Gili talked with random people, but Fay wasn't really aware of her surroundings, she was usually quiet so Gili didn't suspect, she only saw her drinking a little beer, no two full mugs of it.

She jumped scared when she felt her cellphone vibrating. She grabbed it and tried to read the text, her vision was getting blurry. _How's the party going_. It was from Filip.

The party…the party couldn't get worse, she couldn't ask Gili to stay with her so she'd have to go home and see what to do there; she was feeling dizzy and couldn't think clearly, the only good thing was that she knew Gili wouldn't abandoned her there.

_Can you come?_ She managed to write. She had just press the bottom send, when her phone rang. It was a call.

"What happened?"

"Huh?…who is it?"

"It's Filip, are you okay?"

"Yeah"

"Why did you send me that text then?"

"…I wanna go"

"Okay, I'll call you when I'm there"

"Sure…" And he hung up. _'Why is he coming?'_ she thought for a minute _'Oh, right, the text message…'_

"Fay, was it your mom" Gili asked.

"What?"

"At the phone"

"Oh, ye-yeah, it was my mom"

"Do you have to go now?"

"I'm not sure, she'll call me back"

"Let me know if you have to go, remember you can go with me, okay?"

"Okay"

"Fay…are you fine?"

"Yes" She managed to give her the best smile she could. After ten minutes, she felt her phone again, it was Filip, telling her to go out, he was waiting for her.

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><p><strong>I just cut it here because it was getting too long and didn't know where to end the chapter x|<strong>

**The dress Fay wears is one I saw in the drawing of an original character, I think it's really pretty but honestly I had no idea how to describe it, I think the colors aren't even the same xD ..if you want to see it** **(**the drawing is not mine**)**

www **dot** zerochan **dot** net / 56542

Remove the spaces, and change the **dot** for…dots

**The character is not Flaky, but she kinda looks like her. I'll stop posting pictures since they aren't mine D: I swear! But this one is so cute! :P**

**Well…that's enough; I'm already working on chapter 11! ;3**

**Byee~**


	11. Chapter 11

Therosiesweetheart I'm sorry D; here! New chapter, don't die o.o

Raccoonmacaroon You're welcome :3 and well, Fay is just that innocent...or dumb xD

G-nade Well, it was kind of stupid how she got drunk xD And sorry! Please spare me D: I did it because this chapter was almost ready ^^

KimmyG15 Flacy can call Nutty, he's the sweetest thing x3 literally, please call him o.o and thank you! I'm so glad you liked it :3

I'm still not sure how this Moderate Reviews works, but thanks to the 'guest' or 'guests' (?) o.o for your reviews ^^

'IDunHaveName', please keep reading, I hope you like it :3

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><p>"Gi-Gili" She said standing up "Sorry!" She continued in a pitch tone of voice.<p>

"What?"

"I-I'm going now"

"What? Why? Did your mom tell you something?" Gili's suggestions were really helpful.

"Y-Yeah!" She tripped with her own foot and Gili help her not to fall.

"But are you going alone? My brother will be here in 5 minutes, Fay let's wait for him"

"Th-thank you Gili! There is already someone here to pick me up" And with that she ran out of the house. Gili supposed it was her mom, maybe she scolded Fay, that's why she was acting so weird and hasty.

Fay hurried out between the people to find Filip waiting for her across the street, this time, in front of the house. She smiled brightly when she saw him and ran towards him to hug him tightly making him lose his balance. He was confused with her behavior but couldn't help to smile, seeing her so happy to see him.

"Fay" He said to her with his hands on her shoulders to push her back a little and take a better look at her. Her eyes shiny and sleepy and her cheeks hot with a thick blush, though that wasn't rare on her "Are you drunk?" He asked cocking a brow.

"Wh-what? I'm just happy to see you" The disinhibitory effects of the alcohol were already working on her impulses.

"Yep, you're definitely drunk" He took a deep breath "Do you want me to take you home?"

"No!" She said with her eyes wide open, he guessed she didn't want her mom to see her drunk.

"Okay, let's go to my house"

"Y-your house?" She was still conscious enough to feel embarrassed about that.

"Don't worry, we'll stay outside" He said, to clear her doubts...or fear. But that wasn't what she was thinking, she was just feeling shy about going to his place.

They walked to his home, it was near and he thought maybe the fresh air would make her get better, though it didn't seem to work, she looked like she was high instead of drunk, which was kind of funny once she assured him she just had beer and she didn't even knew what it was. He bought her a bottle of water but she spilled more than she consumed, playing to draw figures in the ground with the falling flow of water.

"Aren't you cold?" He asked as he walked cautiously next to her in case she tripped.

"No...actually…is like really….hot, don't you think so?" She said between long pauses.

"No" He said with a chuckle "It's just you, drunk little lady"

"Well...I think it's really hot" She argued like a little kid trying to make her point.

"Yeah, yeah, it's hot"

He lived in an apartment complex; it had a large garden with a little playground. They sat on a bench next to the swings.

"How are you feeling" He asked looking right in her eyes.

"Great" She responded looking at him too, stunned with his stare. He sighed, she wasn't getting any better. His idea was to wait until she was at least a bit sober then go along with her to her house, but that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

"Then what do you want to do?" She didn't answer, just nodded slowly and smiled at him.

"You can't go home, right? Not like that" She suddenly became serious.

"No...I-I can't go home" Her voice broke at the end of the phrase and streams of tears started to feel down her face.

"Why are you crying? Don't worry, your mom won't find out"

"Sh-she to-told me...not to go home...Now I ca-an't even go to my house" With those final words, she burst out in tears.

"Why did she tell you that?"

"Th-there is someone staying over...probably her new bo-boyfriend, or something like that" She said sobbing but you could still sense the anger in her voice; he got closer and hugged her.

"Do you know him?"

"N-no..."

"Does she usually tell you not to go home?" He said with an apprehensive tone.

"No...she usually spends the night out...bu-but now Gili is going out! and Petu-nia is wi-with him, a-and I don't know..."

"Shh..." She was making no sense so he tried to calm her down, but she just cried harder. She kept crying for about 5 minutes until there was no more than soft sobs. He looked down at her, she fell asleep.

"Are you serious?" He laughed, a second ago she was crying her eyes out and now she was sleeping. "Fay" He called her softly just to try, he didn't think she would actually wake up, but she did.

"Wh-what?"

"Hi" He said to her smiling and she responded with the sweetest smile.

"Hi..." He hugged her once more and helped her to stand up.

"Let's go" _'It's just one night'_ He thought _'It'll be okay… it's just one night'_ He tried to convince himself.

His apartment was nice and spacious, organized and clean, but too simple, it felt almost lonely. He took her to his bedroom and handed her a light blue pajama he'd never used, it was a present from his uncle.

"Fay…" He talked to her really slowly, she was standing in front of him hugging the pajamas and looking at him "Wear this, okay? Then you can go to sleep"

"Okay"

He waited out of the bedroom, leaning against the door, ten minutes passed and there was not a single sound.

"Fay?" She didn't respond, he supposed she'd pass out so he went in. She was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling with her arms open at her sides, at the height of her shoulders. She wasn't wearing the bottom part of the pajama, and the shirt had all the bottoms on the wrong holes. He sighed with half a smile _'It's gonna be a long night'_

"What are you doing?"

"The ceiling…it's dancing"

"I bet it's…if you're feeling sick, you have a bathroom right in front of you"

"Yeah…" She wasn't listening.

"Fay…c'mon" He held his hand to her, helping her to sit up at the edge of the bed. Standing in front of her, he undid all the bottoms of her shirt to start over again. Luckily she was still wearing her underwear, though he was sure she wasn't actually aware of the situation, since she hadn't run to hide under the bed with her face all red.

"What did you do with the pants?" He asked while she was intently following his every movement with her eyes.

"I threw them, I told you it was too hot in here"

"You told me it was too hot outside"

"Yeah…" He was looking around with his eyes for the other half of the pajama when he heard her soft voice calling his name. It was rare for her to call his name.

"Fi-Filip…"

"Yeah?" He said leaning closer to her.

"I-I'm sorry" She was nervously clenching the shirt between her hands, looking down. Was it another of her nonsense? It didn't matter, he could hardly resist her.

"Why are you sorry?" He cupped her cheek making her look up at him.

"You…had to do things for me" She bit her bottom lip softly out of habit, like when she bit her index finger, to control her anxiety.

"Don't do that" He spoke harshly, putting his hands at her sides, on the bed, making her blink in astonishment.

"Wh-what?" Her voice was almost an inaudible whisper. He leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes closed.

"Don't…provoke me" He breathed sharply while she was too dizzy to focus in what he meant. She barely opened her mouth to say something when he kissed her. She felt his lips on hers at the same time she fell between clouds of soft sheets.

He held her down as his lips were seeking desperately for hers and she kissed him back because it wasn't a feeling that she hated.

He couldn't fight it anymore, at this point, he was constantly struggling with his inner sadistic desire of breaking down the most precious thing he'd ever held.

In his mind, the craving for doing the most unthinkable things to her made him shudder at the touch of her soft, tender skin. He wanted to make her so happy and so miserable at the same time that he wasn't able to think clearly.

He gently ran his trembling fingers through her hair, moving along her neck, the line of her breast, waist and down her bare legs, fantasizing how it would feel using a knife instead of his fingers.

Her skin was so warm that he felt his fingertips melting with each slightly touch, reminding him that he had to be more careful. It was already taking all of his concentration not to go further into his wildest desires and hurt her.

As for her, her mind was completely unplugged; with green strands of hair brushing against her throat as his tongue slowly caressed the curve of her neck and his fingers running aimlessly along her skin, she could only feel her heartbeats throughout her whole body. Added to the effects of the alcohol, she felt it like electricity coursing through her veins.

He didn't dare to open his eyes, being unsure of his next action once he saw her face. Until he realized.

It was the soft touch of her trembling hand on his, which made him look at both his hands around her neck. She could still breathe but he was applying enough pressure to make her feel flustered. He felt slightly more excited at the look of her defenseless position; hence it took him a few seconds to regain his auto control and being able to let go of her. Slowly and taking deep breaths, he kneeled at her side stroking her hair while she coughed a couple of times. She wasn't upset; she was smiling up at him with her eyes dreamy and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't stand it. It was most probably because she was drunk but she should at least try to scream, to run away from him. However, she didn't.

"Why..." He asked looking into her eyes helplessly.

"What?" She spoke softly.

"Why do you let me hurt you?"

"You would never hurt me"

"You know that's not true" He said giving her a light kiss on her forehead meant to comfort her but it was actually more to comfort himself. "Go to sleep" He got up the bed and looked back once more before going out, she was laying on her side staring at him with her eyes half open, dozing off. He had to get away from her.

* * *

><p>She woke up twice with nightmares.<p>

The first time, he heard her breathing heavily while he pretended to sleep on the couch, next door, when he went into the room, she was still half asleep and told him in a quivering voice that she was okay, falling into unconsciousness again almost immediately.

The second time though, wasn't so quiet as she screamed desperately, until he hugged her and talked to her making her calm down. Fay clung onto him as if her life depended on it, the fear was consuming her and he was the only person that would keep her sane at that moment. He was quite shocked at the image of Fay lost in fright. He observed her, maybe with too much delight, trying his best not to lose control as well. Then, he felt truly pained realizing he wasn't the right person to protect her, but just for once, he'd try. When she finally fell asleep again, he stayed at her side the rest of the night, not daring to touch her again.

He was the first to wake up. Going out of the room quietly he got ready to go out and buy something for her, she'd probably feel sick after the previous night.

It was 2:00 pm and she was still sleeping soundly. He picked up her clothes and found the pajama bottom behind the bed. Her cellphone had more than 40 missing calls, he checked them, in case they were from her mom, but they were all from Gili and Petunia so he decided to wait until she woke up to tell her. He sat next to her, skimming through the newspaper just to keep his mind distracted. She finally woke up, confused.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked.

"Oh gosh..." She looked at him and then buried her face on the pillow. He laughed.

"Are you feeling that bad?" She denied with her head with her face still hidden.

"I...I'm so embarrassed" She said, mortified.

"Fay...please, don't worry" He tried to comfort her.

"B-but..." She sat up but didn't dare to look at him, instead she played with the hem of the shirt she was wearing trying to extend it over her legs, now that she was sober it was incredibly uncomfortable being wearing just that.

"I-I don't know wh-what to say, I-I'm sorry"

"I don't recall you doing something wrong" He said, serious. She didn't look at him, and he couldn't tell how she felt about what had happened.

"B-but you had to take care of me, and I said all those embarrassing things, a-and...I-I kissed you..." A bright blush spilled along her cheeks.

"No, you didn't..." He said with a snicker "I kissed you"

"Re-really?" She finally looked at him and he nodded "Oh...it's okay then" Her eyes lighten.

"Yeah..." He responded unsure, pursing his lips at her approval "And I could have done worst, so please don't be so submissive with me"

"But...I trust you" She said softly, looking down.

He rubbed his eyes, exasperated "What I'm gonna do with you"

"D-do you want me to go?" She asked, feeling uneasy.

"I didn't mean that" Smiling at her, he cupped her cheek. She was so fragile, so easy to turn into little pieces, that he was scared of even place his eyes on her, but he couldn't avoid it anymore "It's just, I can't stop looking at you..."

Her cheeks turned into a soft shade of pink "It-it doesn't bother me" She said shyly.

"It's not good for you"

"Why?"

"Please don't ask me that"

"But I don't want you...t-to leave me alone"

It was too scary, way too scary to be alone, she didn't want that anymore. Ironically, she felt safe at his side, safe of all the things that chased after her in her nightmares, safe of anything that could harm her, safe of every one of her deepest fears, safe of the hollow sensation she continuously felt being alone for so long, safe of everything…but him.

"I won't" He said wrapping his arms around her "I'm too selfish " He felt a stitch of regret, but it was inevitable, she was his weakness; both for good and for bad.

"So..." He said while looking at her carefully.

"So..?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Y-yeah, why?"

"No headache, no feeling sick?..."

"No"

"You're weird"

"I know..."

"And pretty"

"I kno- I'm not!" She said opening her eyes with her face all flushed.

"What" He said with a grin.

Despite all the embarrassing moments she had endured in front of Filip, she was feeling unexpectedly comfortable around him. After taking a bath, he lent her some of his old clothes that may fit her, though they didn't. A pair of grey sweatpants and a black hoody, they were obviously too big for her slender figure, but that would work for the day. They had lunch together, he prepared it.

She listened to him, about being more careful that is. Paying attention to everything he did, her eyes constantly following him. She observed, cautiously, but he seemed so...normal. She knew it wasn't always like that, her memories from last night were all distorted, but she remembered, she remembered she felt scared. Fear is something she never forgets, so she recalled the panic when he put his hands around her neck, and even at that moment, she trusted him. It was like one part of him wanted to hurt her, but didn't dare…maybe because he needed her, almost as much as she needed him; and that was why she trusted him.

She helped him with the dishes quietly after he'd refused her help twice. She called Gili who was at the edge of a heart attack to apologize; Shinji had already paid the consequences after he run to Gili to tell her the truth about what he did to Fay, all because he heard weird rumors about her. 'Stupid weird rumors were going around' were Gili's words, Fay could already guess some of them though her friend didn't say anything else about it.

The excuse of the day was that she got really drunk, which was truth, so her mom took her phone from her as a punishment, which wasn't truth, so she didn't have the opportunity to call back. Gili told her not to worry, she'd call Petunia so Fay didn't get in trouble for using her phone.

"How was it?" He asked as she sat on the couch next to him.

"Fine…she worries too much" With his head leaning back on the couch, he looked at his side, right into her amber eyes.

A straight expression on his face and his eyes as piercing as always, made her lose all her confidence again. After a few minutes of silence, she spoke.

"Y-your cheek…seems to be okay now"

"…"

"I mean, th-that bruise from the other day is gone" She looked down at her cellphone, spinning it in her hands, afraid that he could hear the heartbeats slamming out of her chest.

He remained silent making her more nervous with every second that passed. Should she keep talking? Or would he get mad? In any case, if it continued she'd begin to panic so she kept talking.

"Did you…have a fight?" Feeling intimidated, she wasn't able to raise her eyes again.

"You don't have to tell me…if you don't want to" Her voice lower with every word.

"Ssh" He reached her hand, lacing her fingers with his own. She looked up seeing how his gesture didn't change. "We don't talk about that"

She didn't quite understand but his voice was so calm and his hand so warm that she felt at ease. Her curiosity didn't disappear, but he was always able to manipulate her feelings. Even knowing that, she allowed him to do it.

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><p><strong>Weird ending? O.o I don't know, lately I don't know how to finish the chapters -.-'<strong>

**Anyway, hope you liked it and review! ^^**


	12. Chapter 12

**G-nade It was funny, kind of cute :P thank you!**

**Raccoonmacaroon Thank you! :3 and Nagisa? x3 she's the cutest thing, I pictured something like that too, so I'm glad you got the idea ^^**

**Guest (#1 I guess?) I'm so happy you liked it, but the story hasn't ended yet :P hope you keep reading ^^**

**Hanpechu xD I'm glad you took the time to read my story, thank you and I'll try with the updating soon ^^**

**KimmyG15 Oh… so Flacy is Flippy and Flaky's daughter -.-' I hadn't realized, now I feel kind of stupid :P I'm happy you both liked it :3**

**Therosiesweetheart Thank you! n/n you're so nice. Love you too :3**

**IDunHaveName xD don't worry, I'm stronger than that! ;D and I think is more unlikely the FlippyxLannie :P but you know, I even made Toothy a girl o.o I'm happy you liked it anyway ^^**

**Guest (#2) Thank you! x3 and don't worry, but it would be better if you wrote a nickname :P**

**ValiantFear Thank you! That was the idea :P It's nice having new readers :3**

**DimimiLuver9, Sophisticratz, CluelessLeaf and PestilenceIncarnate thank you all for adding my story! :3**

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><p>The school's noises surrounding her were the same as usual; the people, students, teachers, everyone and everything surrounding her were all the same. The only actual difference was inside of her.<p>

Not being sure if it was a good or a bad thing, she knew there was a change. Something that made her perceive her backgrounds in a different way, that's why everything seemed like an altered version of what she already knew, as a whole new dimension, even though she was sure everything was steady.

It was the change in her, playing with her mind, making her think differently, but was this a positive thing? Could this change make something good out of her situation? It was her life we were talking about, it wasn't a fairy tale so no happy ending was waiting for her at end of the path.

'You….are you gonna stay with me forever?'

Lying on his couch the day before, next to him, she studied for a moment the way Filip looked at her, but his blank expression didn't tell her anything, not even who was the one behind those emerald eyes. She let herself relax until her eyes shut close, she didn't fall asleep, she wouldn't be able, but that way she felt more comfortable. After what seemed like ages, maybe half an hour of complete silence, those were his words.

'_You….are you gonna stay with me forever?' _

She looked at him, blinked twice, closed her eyes again and took a big breath, not being able to say a word. She still didn't understand him at all, so why would he say something like that; the only thing she had to do was to ask. But he wasn't that patient; he leaned closer placing a light kiss on her lips to then talk to her in a whisper.

'_Don't say anything, once I decide that you belong to me, there is no turning back, so just be careful not to make wish more than you're willing to give'_

She nodded obediently, though she didn't like the possessive tone of his statement. After that, she went home, with him of course, the nicer version of him, which was soothing.

Luckily her mom wasn't home; Fay didn't want to give her the pleasure of seeing her walking in, wearing man clothes. What happened with Filip wasn't anything like what she had implied.

"Fay, let me know when you're done with that book" Gili's voice drove her back to the classroom.

"Sure"

She tried to be nicer with Gili too, she cared about her, so that was the least she could do. It was part of the change, she was trying to be more conscious about her surroundings, she didn't want to feel trapped anymore, because that was how she felt some times, between all those minds that dared to speak up louder than hers. Maybe in that way she'd be able to understand Filip, because he always seemed to be aware of the world around him, while she just lived playing along according to what was convenient at the moment, not going further, not wanting to know reasons. So maybe if she changed, she'd get closer to him, because he was closer and closer to her every time, it was even dangerous how close he could get, but Fay…she still wasn't able to reach him.

* * *

><p>"It was so funny, I can't believe you missed it"<p>

Gili, Fay and Petunia were working in a physics project, everything was quitter than usual, except for Gili of course, she was never quiet.

"After you left, these two girls started a fight over a weird guy, one that looks like he's on drugs all the time, I mean, how can they fight over someone like him? He ended up ignoring them, I think he even left them for another girl, can you believe it? A third girl, but whatever…How did it go, with your mom and everything"

"It wasn't…that bad"

"Well that's a relieve, I'd make Shinji pay for it over and over again, though he'd enough on his own" She said laughing at the memory "You should have seen his face, he was really freaked out"

"Really? Why?"

"I told before right? There rumors about…"

'_Oh, don't say it, don't say it!'_ Fay realized where Gili was going and she didn't want to deal with it.

"Well, they were saying you left with a weird guy and stuff, and he believed it" Gili said with a skeptical tone "As if you'd do something like that, right? And he thinks he's so clever and everything"

"Stop it" Petunia said annoyed. She was usually annoyed with how loud and noisy Gili was, but it was always in a motherly and softer way.

"What?" Gili asked surprised and a bit irritated too.

"I say stop-it! You two" She finally snapped back, making Fay flinch in surprise, Gili just looked at her with a puzzled expression.

That's why everything was so calm, Petunia hadn't spoken much in the whole day, and apparently she was holding something.

"Could you both please stop with this stupid faking?"

"Petunia…" Gili looked at her wide eyed "what are you talking about"

"What's with the 'weird guy' thing? Why don't you tell her it was Filip everyone was talking about? What? Are you afraid to scare her? Well, don't worry, she won't, because it's not a rumor"

Fay didn't know how to react; she just looked at her friend in shock.

"Pe-" Gili tried to calm her down not understanding why she was so worked up but she didn't allow it.

"Tell her!" She continued looking at Fay with a judgmental air "I saw it" She turned her stare to Gili "It isn't a rumor because I saw it, it was almost sickening seeing how happy she was running to him" She said without changing her tone, being clearly disgusted with the idea.

"What?" Gili said with a nervous laugh "don't joke around like that, you know Fay wouldn't be with a person like him, let alone go with him at night, she's even afraid of looking at him" She looked at Fay confused, waiting for her to tell she was right, that there was nothing in the world that would make her go to the scariest guy they knew.

Fay didn't responded, pursing her lips, she still couldn't figure out what was the right thing to say, instead she let Petunia continue with her outburst, she couldn't even understand why her friend was so upset.

"I'm telling you I saw her going with him, I couldn't sleep that night, I thought he'd done something weird to her, but apparently she's fine right?" The slick tone of her voice was starting to irritate Fay, Gili just continued confused with the whole situation, with the story being true and with Petunia going so mad about it

"It was too late to go to her house…you really scared me, disappearing and all" Those words suddenly made the guilt built inside of Fay, Petunia was overreacting but it was right that she disappeared with the last expected person.

"How? I mean, when? You're always with us, if not, you're with Spencer or in that damn library, how did you get to know him, and why him of all the people you know?" Her voice was more settled; maybe she had calmed down already.

"Is it because of his looks?" Well, maybe she wasn't done yet.

"Sure, pretty face he has with a new bruise every week. Or is it because of the money? Considering he's Mr. Lumpkin nephew he must have some, right? Everybody knows Mr. Director is pretty wealthy"

Her words were all wrong, Fay heard them but she couldn't believe Petunia was really saying something like that, it was too degrading just listening, she wanted to scream, to explode as well, Petunia had no right to tell she was that superficial, she wanted to yell that it sounded more like her.

"Now! Stop it!" It was Gili the one to interfere "You're being too offensive Petunia, I know you don't mean it but you have to calm down and stop it, don't you realize what you're saying?"

"I…" She looked at both her friends making a weird face, as if trying to say something that didn't came out, and then she went off without even picking up her things.

Gili put her hand on her mouth astonished "I'm so sorry" she looked at Fay who was about to cry "d-don't cry" Fay shook her head making fall the tears that were already in her eyes but she didn't cry, for Gili, she didn't.

She didn't realized how tense she was until Gili put her hand on hers.

"Don't think she was trying to be mean, okay? She was just so worried about you. You can't tell just by looking at her but Petunia is such a lonely girl without us, she's not good at making friends, she's always misunderstood, you know people can be really envious, she really…cherish you, because you didn't judge her, because you're a good friend"

Fay nodded taking deep breaths, even though she hid so many things to her friends she still didn't like it how Petunia acted, but it wasn't that much of a problem, it was just not the right time for something like that, she was so emotionally unstable at the moment that it was too tiring dealing with someone yelling at her.

"Are you okay now?"

"Yes" She said with a half-hearted smile.

"You understand right? It's like really shocking finding out about something like that. Were…were you really with Filip?"

"Yes, but…"

"That's the person you like right?"

"Yes Gili, but is not as bad as you guys picture him"

"Yes, yes. It's all right, I believe you, okay?"

"Do you?"

"Yes, you're my friend, I honestly can't fully trust a person like him, but you're my friend, so I'll be at your side even if it's to convince you of leaving him" She said laughing. Fay was glad she didn't judge her, she was trying to be sincere, so she nodded and smiled back at her.

* * *

><p>After two days of awkward encounters and Gili desperately trying to divide herself between her best friends, Petunia finally decided to apologize with Fay, she didn't mean to say bad things about her, it was just really upsetting that she was so worry when Fay didn't give it any importance. Fay wasn't resentful, and it was part of her fault for not trusting her friends.<p>

No one else seemed to pay attention to the rumors about Fay, apparently no many people saw her with Filip so the thing died soon.

"So…why were you with Filip that day?" Petunia asked Fay since they were already in good terms, and if her friend was going to date a weird person like him, she at least wanted to know everything about it.

"Hmm, we were like…together before that day, and since I was feeling bad I told him to walk me home" It was the best she could do, even if it wasn't the whole true.

"Yes…but, are you two dating or something?"

"N-no, anything like that"

"Anything like that? But you like him right?"

"Y-yes"

"And he likes you"

"I-I guess"

"So he still haven't told you anything, like going out or …something"

"No"

"And you are okay with that?"

"Y-yes, is not like I want to be his gi-girlfriend"

"Oh, so you're not really serious about it yet"

"I don't think so"

"And what about Spencer"

"Nothing"

"Nothing at all?"

"No, I don't know why you keep thinking there is something else, is not like he likes me or something"

"Right…if you say so"

"It's not like that, he never told me anything that even implied that he likes me, he treats me like a little sister or something" Fay said rolling her eyes, he was so frustrating sometimes, she kind of missed talking to him.

"And that doesn't bother you?"

"No…I mean, at the beginning it was kind of annoying but I'm okay with it now"

"And Filip…why him? I mean, is not like I'm trying to judge you again, I really want to know, he looks like so unfriendly and…apathetic, let alone scary"

"He's…nice, he really is. He's nice with me, he's just a little unfriendly like you say and…moody"

"But not with you, right?"

"No…no with me" She lied.

"It's okay, maybe he'll change for her" Gili said joining the conversation in her own enthusiastic manner "You know, like in all those love stories where someone make themselves a better person for the one they love"

They laughed at how Gili could be so cheesy all the time, she complained since it was no fair that they were making fun of her.

* * *

><p>She sighed. It was almost the end of the week, and she hadn't spoken with Filip…again. It seemed that she was close to him one second and then disappeared from his life, and it really felt like she was disappearing. She wished she was more nonchalant.<p>

'_I really didn't change at all'_

Letting her forehead fall against the wooden library table, she permitted herself feeling a little miserable for the trivial matter of missing someone.

"Night Terror"

The voice in front of her made her sit up in a quick move. Filip dropped a pile of books on the table with a loud thud before sitting next to her. He then turned his attention at the startled girl.

"That's how you call the nightmares you have"

**(A/N: Night Terror is an actual sleep disorder, which causes feelings of terror or dread while you sleep, making you wake up in panic, maybe screaming or sweating, inconsolable or unresponsive; a child who has night terrors will require additional comfort and reassurance during the day and before bedtime. It's more common on children. When adults suffer from this disorder, it's sometimes related with psychopathologies, mental disorders and personality disorders. Want to know more about it? Look it up in Wikipedia :P)**

"Huh?" She wasn't able to follow the pace of the conversation since he came out of nowhere exactly when she was thinking about him.

"Maybe you don't remember but you had a nightmare. In my house, well, it wasn't a normal nightmare. People don't just wake up screaming and crying for a bad dream"

"Oh…" She tried to focus on the memory, being distracted by his presence "It's all blurry but I remember some parts…yeah…even I know what night terror is, I read about it years ago trying to…you know…make them disappear"

"It didn't work very well" He said dryly.

"At least it isn't a frequent thing to happen now" She shrugged. She knew it wasn't something good to live with, but it wasn't something that didn't allow her to keep going.

He nodded with a frown. Was he mad? Confused? Uneasy…?

"Did…did you have them? When you were a child?" She knew it was more common between children, so maybe that's why he knew about it.

"No"

That short response wasn't satisfying at all, that's not what she wanted, why was it that she was never able to make him say what she wanted. He saw how troubled she was, so he continued. It was just so much fun playing with her.

"It wasn't like I experienced it on my own, it was more like I saw someone else suffering the consequences; though you're a pretty normal person considering how long you have been enduring something so dreadful. I mean…I've seen worst" He smiled warmly, the kind of smile that calmed her.

She wanted to ask who he was talking about, if it wasn't him, but once she opened her mouth to pronounce the words, he interrupted.

"Why are you so scared?"

"I'm not scared of you" She hurried to answer, opening her eyes, trying to make it clear.

"Saying it in that way only probes that you are indeed scared of me, beginning with the fact that you didn't answer the question I asked"

He cocked his head studying patiently all her gestures. She felt really nervous seeing how it had been the stupidest thing to say, since he didn't actually ask if she was scared of him.

"I…" She muttered, looking down and feeling the usual shade of pink appearing on her cheeks.

"Now tell me. Why are you so scared?" He placed his index finger under her chin making her look at him; he didn't like it when she avoided his stare. She raised her eyes as he caressed her cheek softly allowing her to feel the relieve of feeling him again. When he withdrew his hand from her, she felt pathetic at the acknowledgement of how much she needed him.

"Why…I…" She exhaled all the air she was holding "I really don't know"

He knew she felt alone…abandoned. He could tell just by looking at her, because he was the same. No matter how many people were around him, he would always feel lonely, except lately, when he was with her. The thing was, he didn't matter being solitary; but Fay, how desolated she could get to feel to be so afraid all the time? That, he had no idea; was he ready to deal with it? He had his own problems.

"If you feel lonely you can talk to me, okay?"

"Okay" She nodded at him smiling. It was somehow out of place, but she didn't bother about it.

"Now just keep doing whatever you were doing, apparently napping" He said with a smirk "I have some homework to do so I won't be bothering you"

"Oh…so even you do things like _homework_" She said mockingly.

"Of course, what do you thing I do coming to school daily"

"You don't come daily" That wasn't something she was sure of, she just assumed, since she'd been looking for him the last two days and didn't find him.

"I come almost every day" He said narrowing his eyes, a smirk still on his lips, her statement gave her away.

"Well, it's just, it doesn't suit your image"

"My image?"

"Yeah…you know, kinda rebel and indifferent towards everything"

He laughed at her interpretation of the stereotypes about him, even that sounded too good for him.

"And you know? It doesn't suit your image of the cute and shy new girl hanging around with me all the time; don't make me start with spending the night at my house, and drunk" He leaned closer, his voice lower; making her flush bright red.

_'Oh...he said cute'_

"You…you can't bring that up!" She said a bit too loudly, with the embarrassment written all over her face.

"Why not? It's not a lie"

"It's not fair!"

"See? You're a bad influence to me, now everyone is looking at me for being with a loud girl"

"What?" She looked around seeing how some people were staring, and for the first time it was actually her fault "Sorry" She mouthed then turning again to look at the book in front of her.

"It's your fault" She whispered.

"Sure it is" He responded with a playful smile.

It was actually true he was somewhat committed with his studies, it was even amazing how focused he looked. She was done with her schoolwork, she just pretended to be reading the instructions to her next biology lab again. Peeking over her book, she saw how he moved his mouth repeating the words in his mind when he was concentrated; there was also a frown once in a while, probably in the complicated parts. He also had her same habit of biting his bottom lip, just that he did it when he was writing.

A faint light slipping through one of the windows reflected on his eyes, making their green color to shine even more, though she couldn't get much of them since he was looking down, following the words he was reading. She couldn't believe that she hadn't noticed how long were his eyelashes; after being fascinated by his eyes since she met Filip, and there were still things she didn't know about them. Like the small scar, next to his right eye, it was a fine line that came down his cheekbone.

A sound behind her made her jump in the seat, she looked back quickly, it was just a couple of students who dropped theirs books and started to laugh about it, when one of them looked her way, he stopped laughing immediately, the other one, after following his friend's stare, picked the books hurriedly, put them in the shelf, probably in the wrong place and walked off, the other one stayed as in shock until his friend called his name in a whisper. She looked at the scene confused until she turned her head again, seeing how Filip was looking at them intently, with eyes that would cut right through anybody.

"Just wait a few more minutes, I'm almost done with this"

With the harsh tone of his voice it was more an order than a petition, she was just relief it wasn't her, the one who interrupted him.

'_Wait, almost done, already?'_ She looked at her watch and for her surprise, it had been two hours since he sat with her, not even once he got distracted, while she let the time pass looking at random words in her books and staring at him like a pervy old man. It made her feel there was something terribly wrong with her.

Trying not to make a single sound, she felt like a prey trying to avoid a predator's attention, which was ridiculous because even the dumbest animal wouldn't stay sitting next to a predator waiting for him to finish his homework.

Ten minutes later and they were heading out, he practically dragged her out of the library, but then his pace slowed and he went back to his normal self.

Holding hands was already a habit, it didn't make her nervous anymore, contrary, it made her feel confident, even when judgmental stares came over them from all directions as they walked their way out. She could already sense new rumors coming along and she didn't care anymore.

* * *

><p><strong>Until next chapter! :3 and review! ^^<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Yay~ two chapters in one day :P**

**o_o 3 reviews **already!** x33**

Raccoonmacaroon Aww thank you! :'D and yeah, Petunia was really mean, I was kind of worried of making her too bitchy :P

Therosiesweetheart Thank you! X3 I hope you like this chapter as well ^^

ValiantFear Gosh! I knew someone would bring that up xD I swear I wrote the chapter before watching random acts of silence, do you believe me? :P I hope so, and thank you! You actually made me laugh because I thought it would happen ;P

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><p>Weekend passed by in the blink of an eye, it was basically two evenings shared with her two best friends, they cooked, laughed, joked, and danced. Fay ruined the bolognaise sauce, she only had to stir, that was her only job, and yet she let it burn, they had to start all over again, but it was a really fun weekend, it was refreshing. It was something different, new, she liked it.<p>

They even paid a visit to Liam and Shinji, with an apology to Fay included, Shinji said it had been a bad joke; he teased about her going out with 'the crazy dude', it took her by surprise and couldn't figure out if he really believed what he heard or if it was all a joke, she denied it either way.

It was incredible to Fay the amount of new experiences that the new place had given to her, she was so reluctant to live there, but she couldn't be more grateful now.

Petunia didn't ask her more questions about Filip. She caught Gili glancing at her once in a while, knowing too well she was holding the urge to attack her with questions; she just ignored her, she wasn't ready to that either.

* * *

><p>She sneaked out of class to look for him…again. Hoping she wasn't a bother, he didn't seemed to mind being with her, besides, he looked for her too, sometimes. So it probably should be okay. Because it was growing deeper and deeper into her, the attachment, the need. Whereas it was a healthy thing or not, it didn't matter to her anymore, she wanted to see him, to listen to him, touch him, and feel him, as closely as possible.<p>

'_Being his girlfriend…'_

Petunia asked if she wanted to be Filip's girlfriend, did she really want that? She wasn't sure. Everything was so new, so weird, he was so confusing. It was overwhelming, and she wasn't sure if she was ready for something like that. With him everything seemed to happen so fast and in such a weird way, yet she wanted so bad to be with him.

What were they then, just friends? That was…okay.

She finally found him under the tree and got rid of those unsettling thoughts. That tree, if it weren't for it, they probably wouldn't be so close.

Was he sleeping? A book in his hands that rested on his lap, eyes closed and peaceful face. She approached, not wanting to disturb.

She crouched next to him, his features didn't give anything away. She only saw perfection, how could be that this person was able to scare her so much sometimes, it was his eyes, she was now sure. The window to the soul, people say, maybe it was his soul what scared her then. But right now she only wanted to touch him.

She reached out but his lips twitched slightly before she got to him, maybe it was her presence, or he was having a dream, she wondered what could he be dreaming about. Looking closely, she remembered all the times his lips were placed on her, so soft, even in his roughest moments. She missed it, just by gazing, she already missed the touch of his lips on hers.

It was better to give up, she wasn't going to touch him, she wasn't able, she wouldn't dare; just being next to him would be enough.

She laid at his side, pulling the book from his hands and placing it between hers, hugging it over her chest; making space to place her head on his lap and tugging her braided hair to one side.

The sudden flutter of a bird made her awake from her sleep. Dark emerald looking at her, his thumb running through her lower lip, in a constant pace, it was a gentle touch and he didn't stop as she lost herself in his eyes. Her lips parted slightly to recover her breathing; his touch was so warm that she felt like melting. It was just him. It didn't matter what he did, she was already deeply lost into him.

"Did I wake you?" He asked.

She relaxed a bit, feeling her body less tense now that she listened to him.

"No" She responded simply, her voice steady even though she was so nervous.

He ran his fingers down her chin, caressing her neck and placing his hand on her chest, stopping at the line of her breast making her shift nervously. His hand stayed still, right over her heart. When she realized he was looking for her heartbeats, she felt even more anxious as he could now feel the accelerated pace of her heart.

Why was he so unnerving?

"What are you doing here?"

"What? Er…I was just…wanted to be here. Sorry, I kind of dozed off" She mumbled sitting up in front of him and placing the book on her lap.

"Dozed off? You slept for almost two hours" He grinned at her, his eyes shining.

That must have been uncomfortable for him, she thought.

"Really? Wow"

_'Uh-oh, my classes'_ She let the thought slip out of her mind.

"Apparently…I sleep incredibly well when I'm with you" She said shyly.

"Well, you can sleep with me as many times as you want Fay"

She swallowed and flushed. What was he saying? It was so embarrassing.

"Come" He stood up taking the book from her "There are too many people around, I don't like it" She saw a group of first years jogging near them in their PE uniforms. She didn't like it either, there were a couple of girls looking at them and giggling, she was sure they were looking at Filip.

She held his free hand and let him lead her, though she didn't know where they were heading.

"Have your friends said anything to you?"

She tilted her head at his question.

"About being with me" He clarified.

"Oh…we-well" She said looking around trying to find inspiration "they were shocked, but that's all"

He raised his eyebrows, that was a very vague response.

"I've been receiving unpleasant looks from some of them"

She faced him wide eyed, but he seemed impassive.

"I'm sorry" Her voice was a whisper and he laughed.

"Hey, I don't care" He shook his head giving her a reassuring smile "Really, is not something new. I just don't want you to get in troubles because of me"

They got into a wide room, it had different kinds of chairs gathered randomly, a bunch of clothes hanging from a rack and over what seemed like a diner table, they were probably costumes. There was also a guitar in the corner and a keyboard.

'_Theater club?'_ She really needed to know better the school. As she gazed around all the room he went in without closing the double door. It was unlikely for someone to pass by, the room was at the end of the second floor in front of a janitor room, not stairs at that side.

She sat in a bar stool next to the window, it was a pretty dark room; hoping for him to sit in the one that was in front of her, and so he did.

'_Is not something new…'_ Suddenly a thought crossed her mind.

"Have you…dated any girl from this school?" She asked looking down at her hands, he didn't response, so she glanced at him nervously, that had been inappropriate, they weren't dating, why did she asked? She felt like coursing the filter of her thoughts, it wasn't doing a great job.

His eyes gleaming, locked with hers, he was probably surprised by her question, he even seemed amused. A smirk on his lips.

"A couple"

She blinked at him, that took her off guard, a couple? Wasn't he all _unfriendly_? Reluctant to get close to people? Who were they then? What about Lannie? Did she know? Was her one of the _couple_?

He could see her confused expression, making his smile grow wider. He cocked his head and cleared his throat, trying to get a reaction out of her.

She looked down shyly.

"Do…" It was so embarrassing, yet she wanted to know so badly "Do you still talk to them? I-I mean, like friends or…something" She muttered.

"No, all of them have already graduated"

'All of them' Those words kept spinning in her mind for a few seconds, and she didn't like the sound of it.

"All?" She said shrinking on her sit.

"Four" He shrugged not giving it much importance.

"Oh…" She looked at him trying to process what he'd said. That wasn't just a couple.

"So you like older girls?" She said with a hint of annoyance. Why did she feel so upset?

"Well, it's convenient" He frowned but it didn't hide his amusement.

"Convenient?"

"Yes, it's easier when they already know what they're doing"

'_Oh…'_ She didn't get that, but it sounded utterly discouraging. He liked older girls, probably experienced girls, mature, and well knowing of what they were doing. She was nothing like that. And she felt so small at his side, not even like a kid, but literally small, as if it were impossible for her to reach him, even if he was just in front of her.

"A-and…Lannie?" She asked when she finally found her voice again.

He shook his head "As annoying as she can be, Lannie is a good girl, I wouldn't do that to her"

She scowled "Is being your girlfriend such a bad thing?"

She was sure Lannie would be more than pleased to make the effort.

"No Fay" He laughed bitterly "You misunderstood, I've never had a _girlfriend_" He continued as if the last word had a bad taste as he said it.

"Then…"

"Let's say they were more right to the action kind of relationships" He said in a teasing tone but his expression was serious.

'_What does that even mean?...Sex?'_

Her mouth dropped open, she glanced at him, was it for real? And talking about it with such a straight face.

She closed her mouth and looked around nervously. So that was how things were with him? Was that what he was expecting from her? He couldn't, she didn't want to even think about the idea. And Lannie…a good girl? Why did he and Spencer keep saying that, after all that she had done? Well, it wasn't like she did something utterly wrong, she was just annoying, they were right. But she was important enough to Filip too, as to not use her just for sex? Great. Then what about her? So she wasn't even at the level of Lannie?

He walked to her, and she took a deep breath. Getting distracted from her thoughts she looked at the boy in front of her, all blood drained from her face. Now what?

Putting his index finger under her chin, he made her look up at him as he stood between her legs.

"You're asking many questions today" He was too close and she felt her heart on her throat, suffocating her "I don't like it"

He was right, he didn't talk about his personal life, it was the first time, and it was also the first time she dared to ask.

His stare was still burning on her, so intense, that it was getting hard to breath.

"Do you have any idea how much I have to restrain myself when I'm with you?" His voice was hoarse and low. He looked annoyed but didn't step back, instead he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. He was so confusing.

"Do-do you want to…hurt me?" Her voice was merely a whisper. Was that what he meant with restrain?

"Oh Fay, you have no idea" He ran his hand to the nape of her neck, pulling from her braid to make her look up at him again. She gasped and closed her eyes tightly in fear. She felt the sting on her scalp, gritting her teeth as he pulled from her hair firmly.

But he did nothing next, letting go of her hair, he placed his hands on her knees. She opened her eyes slowly, and saw him grinning at her.

She cupped her cheeks on her hands not knowing what to do. After taking a deep breath, she asked again.

"Di-did you want to hurt…th-the other girls?" she cringed in fear in anticipation to his reaction but his expression didn't change.

"No…not usually" She swallowed hard and he continued; his eyes on hers all the time "You see Fay, I have a certain degree of self-control, at least I know when I'm going to lose it so I can avoid anything…" He stopped putting his index finger on his lips as if trying to find the right word "unpleasant to happen"

He got closer as she felt helplessly unable to move, breathing through her mouth and trying to get focus on his words.

"But it's you, who make me lose control even of my own thoughts" He cocked his head as he tucked a strand of loose hair behind her ear "Though there are girls who like to play rough, y'know?"

Lacing her hands together she let them down, resting on her belly, trying to fight the urge to run away.

"Do you like to play Fay?" He asked in such a tempting voice that she felt butterflies building inside of her. His hands on her knees, keeping her in place.

She shook her head, and didn't realized she was biting her lip until tasting the blood on her mouth "N-no!" She said in a pitch tone of voice.

"Hmm…" His smirk and his eyes shining in amusement made her feel so terrified to be there, alone with him; yet so allured to him as to run away. Titling his head to one side slightly, he talked against her lips "You sure?"

And that was her break point, it was now or never, she had to run away from him, and not turning back, his intentions were anything but malicious.

Instead, she closed the small gap between them, placing her hand on his cheek, and did what she wanted to do the most, more than running away. She kissed him, closing her eyes she got herself lost in his warmth as her heart beat wildly. He tasted of cinnamon mint, she wondered briefly how was it that he always tasted of cinnamon. It was sweet but hot at the same time, or more like spicy. The taste was hard to describe but it somehow suited him. He followed her pace, soft and tender, until she had to part for air.

She withdrew her hand shakily, placing her fingertips on her lips. What the hell was she thinking? It wasn't her, it was definitely not her. She wouldn't do something so daring. But yes, she had done it. It fell all over her body as a bucket of cold water.

What would he do? She opened her mouth to say something, and closed it again; there was nothing she could say.

He narrowed his eyes not giving a step back, a playful smile still on his lips, but it wasn't the evil grin of just seconds ago, it was his most boyish and refreshing smile, it melt her heart.

He was really so confusing! What could she do? Love him? Hate him? Nothing. It wasn't her choice. He was dragging her down, deep into darkness and back upwards, into the brightest and most heartwarming feelings and there was nothing she could do.

"You sure are full of surprises Fay" His eyes softer as he placed his forehead on hers "I really like you, you know?"

'_What?!'_

She burst out in a sequence of nervous giggles. Feeling she was going crazy.

"Are you laughing at me?" He asked arrogantly cocking a brown and backing off. Though she could see in his eyes that he was playing.

"No" She shook her head but kept giggling "I'm not"

The bell announcing the end of last period made her stop, she had wasted half of her day with Filip, and it totally worth it. Even though, she would have to procure not making it a habit.

She climbed off the chair as he stared at her quizzically.

"Do you have to go?" He asked deadpan.

"Y-yeah…"

He stayed silence but kept his gaze on her.

"I-I have…with my friends…w-we" Words failed her as she played with her braid between her fingers.

'_Why can't I say it?' _

She didn't really understand her nervousness, but he was so fickle, all the time.

He nodded, still serious. Was he mad? That was the proof, all fickleness.

She really couldn't stay. Why? She had to finish her project with Petunia and Gili, that easy, how come she wasn't able to say it?

They went out of the theater room, Filip walking behind her, this time he didn't held her hand. Was he really mad? She walked looking down at her knotted hands thinking on what to say. Would he even say good bye to her. Maybe he already left, she turned around in a swift move, afraid he had walked away without saying anything else. And she bumped into his front; he didn't leave, he was following her, closely. She smiled with relief, meeting his wicked grin again.

'_Oh no'_

He gave a step closer placing his hands on her waist.

"Do it again"

'_What?'_

He narrowed his eyes, a crooked smile on his lips and she knew what he meant.

'_K-kiss'_ Her eyes wide as she had an internal fight _'Just do it!' 'But this is full of people!' 'Doesn't matter, what if he gets real mad' 'Yeah, kiss him, I can do it…I want to do it'_

She leaned closer to him, placing her hands on his chest and standing in her tiptoes, until meeting his lips. And he kissed her back, but this time it was different, deep and intese, dragging her closer to him so she could feel the heat of his body, making her want more, much more of him. She got lost into the kiss, greedily feeling his mouth, his lips with her tongue. Unaware of her movements, her hands ran up to his hair. She felt his smile against her lips dragging her back to reality.

Gazing into bright emerald eyes, she stayed still and breathless until her mind stopped spinning around.

He let go of her slowly as she adjusted herself again to her surroundings. It was loud, it was really loud. She flushed scarlet red at the realization. Everybody was going out of classes, some of them staring, some others whispering between chuckles. One second ago it was just the two of them, and then, they were in the middle of a bunch of people.

'_Stupid!' _She cursed herself.

He leaned closer, talking to her ear so only she could hear.

"You still taste of blood, now I can tell you for sure, that you're really sweet"

"Oh…."

'_The blood, sure, another thing I didn't remember…great'_

He patted her head with half a smile. She didn't like it. It was something you did to your pet, not to the girl who just kissed you. She scowled but he didn't seem to bother about it, he just walked away.

It wasn't her best moment, it was definitely one of the worst. She did the most embarrassing thing in front of everybody, probably the whole school saw her like an easy girl at that point; and she hated, really hated when people made a show, like public demonstrations of love from stupid couples, and there she was, doing the exact same thing. And her damn habit of biting her lip, she had to stop it.

Taking a deep breath, she remembered she had things to do, it wasn't the time to be sulking in the middle of a hallway. First thing first, she had to find her friends and pick up her books from her locker.

'_I think last class was around here…'_

As soon as she turned around, she saw them. Gili, Petunia, Stephen and Neal, gaping at her, except for Neal, he was staring but his strawberry flavored licorice was the priority.

_'Oh...he totally did that on purpose'_ She growled in her inside _'Gosh, I could kill him right now'_

Why was it taking her so long to walk to them? It took her exactly seven steps, she counted them, but it felt like a three hours distance. Gili had a bright blush all over her cheeks, Petunia was scowling at her, obviously; Stephen, well, he just seemed surprised, and Neal was still busy with his candy.

"Er…Ready to go?" Fay talked looking down uncomfortably.

"Ye-yeah, sure" Gili spoke, it was surely uncomfortable for her too "Let's go" She regained her composure, offering Fay a warm smile "Hmm, Stephen and Neal are going to work in their project too, so we're going to do it together"

"Okay" Fay nodded feeling a bit relieved; at least there was someone willing to help her out of the situation she put herself into.

They walked quietly to collect their books, they were going to Gili's house. It took Stephen and Neal a bit longer since Stephen had way too many books, result of his research and his friend was force to help him carry them.

The girls were waiting at the stairs in the main entrance and the atmosphere was nothing but awkward.

"So…are you sleeping with him or what?" Petunia suddenly asked in a not so gentle tone.

Her two friends turned to look at her wide-eyed.

"Petunia!" Gili scowled.

"Wha-why? No!" Fay responded crossing her arms over her chest and feeling both embarrassed and offended.

"Fay, you were all over each other in front of everybody"

She shrugged feeling miserable and looking at Gili trying to find a bit of reassurance.

"Well…it wasn't that bad, just a bit too much" Gili looked at her apologetically.

Fay covered her eyes with her hands in a desperate gesture. She was so mad at that moment, so mad a Filip, and so mad at her for being stupid. If she weren't so uneasy with his mood changes, she would have called him and tell him to die for tricking her.

"So…no?" Petunia asked again, her lips pursed in a thin line, but her eyes softer.

"No" Fay responded in a low voice.

"Okay, just asking" Petunia shrugged giving her a kind smile "I'm sorry"

Fay nodded and smiled back.

Stephen and Neal were already going out, in front of them, a couple of girls wearing too much make up and too much cleavage, Fay wondered how their skin could be so orange if the slight sun light they could get there was trough a thick mass of clouds.

They walked in front of them looking at Fay with wide grins, whispering and sneering. Fay avoided them feeling her cheeks hot with a new blush.

"What?" Petunia growled, narrowing her eyes at them, and apparently it shut them up.

Fay smiled looking at her friend from beneath her eyelashes. It felt great having good friends.

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><p><strong>Done! No more updates for today :P Love you all, and please review :3<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

KimmyG15 Thank you! and I'm really trying with the updates :3

Therosiesweetheart I'm glad you had fun reading my story, that's the idea ^^

Guest Does that mean you liked it? :P thank you for reading my story!

Shadowpanda123 Well, I think there is a sadist part in Flippy but I highly doubt that Flaky is a masochist; she'd have to deal with it or get him to change, so I feel bad for her too, let's see what happens with them ;3

ValiantFear Because I'm secretly planning world domination? :3...just kidding o.o and yeah, Filip was a jerk there :P thank you, I like to surprise ^^

To Cartoonychic, Apathetic Sympathy and Meaflicker, thank you for adding my story ^^

**Here it is! Chapter 14, hope you like it :3**

* * *

><p>The project was going pretty well for the three of them. Having Stephen near, even if he was working in group with Neal, was really convenient; as conceited as he may seemed, he was really willing to explain anything they asked, it was part of his character as well, you could tell how much he enjoyed teaching, probably it made him feel superior, however, he did a great job, having the ability to actually made things understandable.<p>

"Well, I think is time for a break" Gili said lively, dropping a pink pen next to her notebook and stretching her arms over her head.

"Oh, yeah, I'm starving, let's prepare some snacks, I'll help you" Petunia spoke as she stood up from her seat "Don't bother to help us, we don't want Gili's kitchen to explode" She joked with Fay, but she was totally focused in a formula from her physics book.

"Okay" She nodded absentmindedly without even looking at her friend.

Petunia looked at Gili with a muffled chuckled as she had just been completely ignored and they headed to the kitchen.

"Can we have some sweets!" Neal shouted from his sit as he scribbled some notes rapidly on his report. As distracted as he appeared to be, Neal was actually pretty good with numbers, formulas and logic, not as good as Stephen, but then again, nobody Fay knew was as intelligent as him.

"We'll see" Gili responded.

"Hmm, I think I have something for this part here, Neal read point three again, I think I have the solution, I'll go look for a book in my bag" Stephen spoke in high speed; he was so excited with homework and solving problems all the time, he even got bossy, but Neal didn't seem to care about it.

"Okay, just let me get a little break" Neal said but Stephen was already out of the room.

Fay finally finished studying the formula, now she could go out of her bubble; it had to be like that, completely absorbed in one task at the time, so her mind didn't ramble to places she didn't want to go at the moment.

She sighed swinging her pen between her index and middle finger, smiling at Neal and looking around to find out it was just the two of them now.

"Oh…" She narrowed her brows confused.

"Gili and Petunia are making snacks and Stephen is looking for a book" Neal smiled brightly as he explained after seeing the red haired girl landing back in planet earth.

"Another book?" She opened her eyes, amaze "Where does he keep so many books?" She whispered at Neal who was sitting across her in Gili's wide desk.

He snickered and took a dramatic deep breath "I sometimes wonder the same Fay, but I concluded is something I don't want to know" He spoke while shaking his head a bit too wildly.

"Yeah, there are some mysteries that are better kept in the dark" She said forcing a hint of mystery in her words.

"I knew there was something between the two of you" He said with half a smile surprising her.

"The…two of…" She asked confused.

"You and Filip?" He said, almost singing the words as if it was an obvious matter.

"Oh…" She blinked and felt ashamed at the sudden turn of the conversation, that was exactly where she didn't want to go.

Placing the tip of the pen on her mouth she started chewing while she tapped the fingers of her other hand on the wooden desk. That compulsive behavior lasted only a few seconds until she removed the pen from her mouth and looked at him again. He just waited patiently.

"Wh-why did you say that?" She asked twisting the end of her braid between her fingers, she really couldn't stay still.

He shrugged "I just saw you together a couple of times, and I mean, the way you look at each other…" He let the phrase in the air, but yeah, she could imagine how it looked from a third person point of view.

"And you didn't tell anybody?"

He shook his head "No, why would I?"

She shrugged, well, there are still discreet people in the world "….don't know, I-I mean, thank you"

"It's okay; we're all friends, right?" He said and he sounded unexpectedly so reassuring. He was really one of those people you would pre judge, that look so simple minded, but there was actually so much about them to know.

Now she knew he was really nice and reliable, all of that, behind brisky bright yellow-green eyes, there was actually one brighter than the other; and a frequent childish and selfish behavior. Giving him a better look, Fay thought he was actually kind of cute, thought his face was a bit pale and his hair was messy, it somehow suited him.

"Aren't you afraid of him?"

That was something she definitely wasn't expecting. He was being too straightforward. It wasn't comfortable. But somehow, it felt like she could trust him. Looking at him again, such a carefree expression, he looked so different from his usual hyper self.

"Afraid? Neal, most of the time I'm with him, my heart thumps so loudly into my ears, that I can barely hear my own thoughts" She took a labored breath, unbelieving that she said it out loud, the words were actually coming out of her mouth before she realized it "And yet, I can't keep myself away from him" she spoke in a whisper as her voice cracked at the end of the phrase.

She inhaled, placing her elbows on the table and covering her eyes with her hands.

"Am I going crazy?" Her voice was a desperate plea for help, but why was she talking to Neal about that. Of course, they were friends, but not that close, and it was supposed to be a _girls talk_. That thought made her smile bitterly, because she couldn't be sincere with her friends.

"You're not going crazy, you're in love" He said, casual.

Her eyes snapped back at him with a quick move, in shock. But his laugh at her reaction only made her smile back.

"Hmm, I-" She clasped her hands together trying to set up a response, but…was she? Really?

He shook his head "Don't work it up, just be careful, okay?"

She nodded feeling pleased. He was easy to talk to. It was simple and direct.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean, Fay?"<p>

"I-I think you know wh-what I mean" She stuttered at the phone.

"So first time you use my number, and it's to tell me you're mad" He sighed at the other side of the line, obviously annoyed.

"D-don't get angry" Her voice much weaker now that she started to lose the small amount of courage she collected to call Filip.

"I'm not" His tone was serious, not angry, but serious, which was still bad.

They kept silence, should she try it again? She was really nervous.

"I mean…it-it wasn't nice, you know? It was…embarrassing"

"I know" His voice sounded now impassive, and she could almost see his smirk at the other side of the phone.

"I'm serious!" She whined, trying to sound hurt and failing miserably, not being able to hold the laughing.

"Yeah, Fay…I know, I'm sorry, okay?" There was a trace of humor in his voice "I'll make it up to you. I can't do it tomorrow, but what about Thursday? I'll do whatever you want"

"Whatever I want?" Her voice suddenly hopeful.

"Yes" A hint of doubt in his voice now that she was so excited about the matter.

"We-well…" She toyed with a pen, spinning it with her fingers on the wooden surface of her desk, feeling shy about her request "I'd love it if you cook something for me"

"Cook?" He asked with a mix of confusion and relief in his tone.

"Yeah…you're a great cook" She responded matter-of-factly.

He smiled at her statement "Okay, if you are free that day, we can come over and I'll cook something for you, what do you say?"

"Okay" She nodded joyfully, though nobody could see her nodding.

"That's better, still mad?"

"Not so much now, let's see after Thursday" She said with a chuckle.

He was much relaxed, what was he expecting? A pile of questions again?

'_Oh…maybe that is'_

"Ca-can I have another thing?"

"What is it?" He asked, apprehensive.

"You said it could be anything"

"Yeah…"

"I have one question"

He sighed. That was what he was expecting and was happy to avoid. Not anymore.

"Okay"

"Okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, just do it"

'_Calm down, I'm not gonna punch you or something'_ She thought, but it seemed like he would rather being punched than questioned.

"O-okay" She breathed before continuing "Remember you were hurt….the other day"

"Of course I remember Fay, and I'm sure I told you not to talk about it"

"Yeah…b-but I really want to know"

He remained silent, the only thing she could hear was his steady breathing at the other side of the line.

Well, at least she tried, but it was okay if he really didn't want to tell her, she didn't want to push him any further.

"Is-"

"The chess park" He interrupted before she could set him free.

"The chess park…" She repeated with a softer voice.

"Yeah, remember it?"

"Y-yes"

"Well, the chess park isn't such a quiet place at night…"

"Right" She said confused, where was he going with that?

"There are a bunch of people who gather there at night"

"N-night, every night?"

"No, not every night"

"O-okay" What was that? A horror story? Was he trying to distract her? He wasn't going to get away with it.

"It's just a group of guys and girls fooling around, drinking and listening to music"

She didn't reply this time, so he continued.

"You know, the kind of troublesome people who others avoid…"

"Did they pick a fight with you?" She hurried to ask, that made sense; that would explain it.

"No…I sometimes hang around with them"

'_Oh…'_

"They aren't nice, I only like some of them, but they're basically a bunch of stupid people who don't do much for their lives; I'm one of the youngest, most of them dropped school to occupy themselves with shitty jobs"

There was a pause again, she didn't have anything to say, he really was going to tell her? That was nice. Would she be able to handle it? She had to.

"They are pretty violent and stupid, mostly because they're too drunk, too high or simply because they are full of anger and don't know other ways to overcome it. They usually don't fight me, not because they're afraid of me, they're not like the guys at school, but because of this guy…his name is DB, I mean, that's how everybody call him; he's kind of the leader there, even if he's just 19, and I don't know why, but he kind of likes me, and everybody respect him…but sometimes things just get out of control, you know? It's a pretty volatile environment"

'_Too much information, too much…'_

"Are-so, ar-are you into that kind of stuff?"

"No Fay, I know what you're thinking, but I don't do drugs, I drink once in a while, but I don't let it get out of control, I'm not that stupid, they are"

"Then why do you keep going to them?" She said, worried. It wasn't good, it was dangerous.

"I told you, I have friends there, is somehow…relaxing, and some of them don't like me, as I don't like them, but that's how things are, everywhere"

'_Sure, great friends' _

"But you keep saying that they're stupid"

"Because they are Fay, and so I am, it's just…there are people I don't want to let down…like Ed"

"Ed?"

"Yeah, Lumpkin, I suppose you already know we're related"

"Y-yes, I just didn't know his first name"

_'Edmun Lumpkin'_ Yeah, she barely remembered it from his office the first day of school.

"Well, he's the only person in my family who wanted to take care of me…after all the things that happened…the only one who still believes in me"

'_Wh-what happened?'_

"I-I believe in you"

"Thank you" It took him a moment to process a proper answer, it was something he didn't expect, probably he didn't know what to say either "but you don't know me that well"

She wasn't going to argue that.

"So…you had a fight then" She said, to make him proceed.

"Yeah"

"But you told me you have self-control" She said coldly, remembering his words.

"Yes, like most people, but once I lose it, things get pretty ugly" His voice fading with the last words.

"Wh-what you're saying is… y-you got into a fight deliberately?"

"Yeah"

"Why?" She raised her voice in alarm, she didn't understand why would he jeopardize his life like that "Why do you do that? It-It's dangerous"

"Fay, you said only one question, and I told you every detail of what you wanted to know"

"I…" No, she didn't want just one question, she wanted to know everything about him, but that wouldn't happen, at least not at the first try; maybe she could try asking more later, another day, when he felt like talking again, she didn't want to annoy him either, it was obvious he didn't like to talk about that kind of stuff, yet he made the effort, because she wanted to know "I know"

"Okay, let's leave it at that"

"Ye-yeah"

They kept silence again, neither of them knowing what to say.

"Do you still want to do the Thursday thing?" His voice was harsh, probably irritated with all her questioning.

"Can I have that too?" Her tone nothing but eager.

"Sure" He said smiling at her enthusiasm "Only if you want to"

"Of course I want to" She replied joyful. Was he nervous she would run away after hearing that? No way "I wouldn't miss it" She said with a playful tone.

She heard his laugh on the phone and it was a sweet and heartwarming sound.

* * *

><p>"So…let's go for an ice-cream?" The typical overly excited Gili was dancing around with even more joy than usual, if that was possible. It was Wednesday afternoon and luckily they'd already finished the physics project; it had to be handed on Friday, so they had plenty of free time the rest of the week.<p>

"Is that a question Gili?" Petunia asked, teasing her pink haired friend.

"Well, take it like a formal invitation" Gili responded arching a brown in mischief.

"Doesn't sound too formal to me" Fay joked with a snicker.

"Oh, c'mon Fay, you can't say no"

"I wasn't going to say no" She rolled her eyes at her friend with a cheerful smile on her lips.

Gili responded with that girly smile of hers.

"Wait, guys, I'll tell Harrie to come with us, it won't take me long" Petunia said hurriedly, running away and after 5 minutes she was back, alone.

"He'll catch up with us there" She informed with a triumphal wide smile.

They got to the place; it was decorated with pastel colors and drawings of giant ice creams and desserts all over the walls. The seats were as colorful as the rest of the decoration. It was cloying but still a nice place to go. The space was wide and clean, and the most important, the food there was excellent.

They got a seat in the back, where the widest tables were located, since the group that Gili invited was slightly larger than expected.

They were with the twins, Cody, Russell, and waiting for Harrie.

"Can we order now?" They had just being waiting for two minutes, but Gili was so impatient; having free time really altered her composure. There were Liam, Shinji, Russell, Cody and Gili at one side of the oval table and Petunia with Fay in front of them.

"Gili, just wait, he said it wouldn't take him long" Petunia said to her, tired of her excessive impatience and excitement.

"But why do we have to wait too?" Gili protested, pouting "We can wait while eating" She suggested faking innocence and looking at her irritated friend under her lashes.

Petunia looked at her wide eyed, holding a smile "You're all Neal today" She scowled "Because, it is rude to order while not everybody is present yet, look, not even Liam is complaining" She explained.

"Why Petunia" The boy's attention was dragged to them from the weird conspiracy that was going on between him and his brother "I have better manners that the little pink head here" Liam replied with a wide grin on his lips.

"Oww, don't mess with me" Gili whined.

"What, are you going to attack me?" They started a little fight, trying to offend each other as Petunia centered herself in another conversation.

"I…kind of invited someone else" Petunia talked, addressing Fay and catching her attention. She frowned, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"What I said. Don't get mad, okay?"

Fay gave her a puzzled expression, why was she being so mysterious. Petunia's and Gili's eyes shifted to the door behind Fay at the same time, and she heard him before she saw him.

"Hey!" It was the usual joyful voice, and it made her turn around to see Harrie coming over with Spencer at his side, he looked at her with a wide smile and she turned to her friends.

"What? Spencer?" She scoffed at the girl next to her "Why would I get mad?" She smiled widely, surprising her and Gili, who caught the flow of the situation despite her verbal fight with Liam.

"Fay!" He was next to her, and for everyone, even her own surprise, she stood up and hugged him tightly wrapping her arms around his waist, he hugged her back moving her a step to the side of the table along with him, making space for Harrie who crawled on the seat next to Petunia, greeting everyone and giving her girlfriend a swift kiss on her lips.

"Hi" Fay said looking up at her friend with a childish smile on her lips.

"You sure missed me" Spencer said arching a brow.

"Wh-what do you say? I'm just kind of happy…I-I mean, it's been while" She said while letting go of him, feeling ashamed. What was happening with her impulses lately? She went back to her seat, feeling the shade of pink crawling up her cheeks.

"So, you totally missed me" He teased sitting next to her.

"Shut up!" She pushed him softly as everyone in the table laughed at their uncommon interaction.

For Gili contentment, all of them finally ordered and started to chat randomly while eating their respective desserts. Fay was entertained catching up with Spencer, though it was more a pointless conversation about random and stupid topics. He surely made her relax.

"It was fun! I mean, everyone in class laughed at my prank, I saved the day!" He complained at Fay scowl, after telling her of his last victim during a 'boring to death class', according to him.

"But is mean Spencer! Poor guy" She shook her head in disapproval, but not being able to hide her smile, it was actually a funny prank.

Suddenly, he stared at her in silence; she cocked her head, why was he doing that? His face slowly falling serious, he wasn't like that.

"Can I assume things now?"

She frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"About you and…"

'_Filip'_ He didn't have to say it.

She pursed her lips and shook her head. _'Don't do it'_ She begged mentally, looking down at her hands.

He placed his elbow on the table, leaning his head on his hand while his other hand tapped the glass cup of his ice cream "Fay" He looked outside the window and back at her "I just wanna know what's going on, between you two. I mean, everybody know it now, I just hope…you're safe" He said softly, so only she could hear him, but everyone in the table were into their own business, so there wasn't much risk of being overheard.

She closed her eyes and nodded, being fully aware that she was biting her lip, but sometimes it was necessary.

"Say something"

"Ye-yeah, I get you, I'm fine"

He sighed.

"Just be careful, okay?"

She turned to look at him annoyed, how was it that he made those words sound so condescending? Like if he knew it was something she wasn't able to handle. She was no kid.

His face was serious but calm, he really was trying to give her space. She couldn't be mad at him. But he had to stop behaving like he was her older brother, because he wasn't, they were just friends, there are limits in friendship, and he was too overprotecting when it came to Filip, and she understood why, that was part of the reason she couldn't get mad at him. Damn Lannie, meddling with her business again.

She took a deep breath and nodded smiling at him. He didn't force any response out of her, so it was okay. He was a good friend, just like Petunia, they both were just worried because they cared about her. She repeated it in her mind. He was a dear friend, she didn't want to lose him.

"Fine" He let out a chuckle of defeat, not wanting to make her uncomfortable either "Now, eat some more ice cream" He said smearing a full spoon of his ice cream over her lips.

"Spencer!" She whined licking her lips and using a napkin to wipe the excess of the mess he did in her face.

He responded with a snicker while she tried to make the same to him, being only able to spread a bit of the white cream on the tip of his nose, which he wiped easily with the back of his hand.

"Omg, you're like kids!" Petunia complained and everyone else laughed, Fay blushed slightly realizing that all of them were observing their little game, but it was still funny, embarrassing and immature, but funny.

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><p><strong>Did you get it? DB...as in Disco Bear :P<strong>

**Please leave a review and tell me what you think :3**

**Already working in next chapter ;) wait for it!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Beautifully-Asymmetric** Well, Neal is supposed to be stupid :P I just love Nutty so much so I had to make him part of the story, that's how it came out :P

**Therosiesweetheart** Thank you for following my story, you're always so nice :3

**Raccoonmacaroon** I'm so happy that you took the time to read my story ^w^ about Neal, I just love Nutty so I wanted to make him Fay's friend, I promise I'll keep him selfish and annoying :P

**G-nade** Everything about Fay is lovable :33

**ValiantFear** Well o.o …you're tougher and more aggressive than I thought, I guess I'll run away with Flaky and let Flippy to deal with you :P Thank you! :3

**Guest** Thanks :3

**Dashi** Thank you! o.o That's so flattering, mostly about my writing, I bet there are more than a few mistakes :P I still have a lot to learn, but really, thank you! :33 I'm so glad you find it easy to read and visualize, because that's what I love about reading stories ^^ and I really liked it how you told me about your favorite scenes, you're so cute :3

**Iampothepanda** Thank you for adding my story :3

**Chapter 15! ^^**

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><p>"Well…" Petunia sighed. She was walking home with Gili and Fay, the twins and Russell lived at the other side of the town, Harrie, Cody and Spencer had to go back to school for soccer practice "I can see what you mean about Spencer and you"<p>

Fay turned her attention to her friend "And that is?" She said looking at her with curiosity.

"That there is nothing, apparently" She replied rolling her eyes "I mean, you two look great together, seriously, but there is more chemistry between Gili and Shinji than between you two, what a shame" She said waving her hand in the air as if reluctantly dismissing the idea.

Fay chuckled, what was the 'you look great together' thing? Apparently, something important.

"Hey!" Gili whined at her "That was only once"

Once? Was Fay missing something? It sparked her curiosity.

"Only once?" She asked skeptical.

"W-well, it was just one date" Gili explained, looking down with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"What?" Fay responded a bit too laud, her lips twisted at one side with half a smile, trying to hold the laughing, she just couldn't picture it, Gili and Shinji, it didn't fit in her mind.

Petunia laughed "See? Even Fay can't believe it"

"Petunia!" Gili scowled but didn't hide her smile "Such a hypocrite, you know I only did it because you were dating Liam"

"Whoa! Liam a-and Petunia?" Fay gasped at her with an accusatory stare and burst out in laughs.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up!" She grumbled "It was just…shut up!" She laughed not being able to find an excuse.

* * *

><p>The day finally arrived, she didn't know if being excited or nervous, but the anticipation was killing her nerves.<p>

She looked at her image on the mirror and took deep breaths trying to settle her raising heart beats, in and out, the air filling her lungs was a refreshing feeling. Next thing was…what to wear.

The messy haired girl decided for something plain; black skinny jeans and plaid shirt that fell down to her hips, the shirt was comfortable but wasn't too loose so it accentuated her curves a little, it was a combination of pastel tones of pink and purple, a bit lively but she liked it anyway. Finally a pair of pale pink converse that matched. Her hair wasn't in one of its best days so she brushed it and went for a pony tail after fixing her bangs in a side fringe.

She skipped down the stairs to meet Gili in her main door. After that, everything was monotonous and slow. The way to school was too long, classes were too long, lunch break was too long. She just wanted the school day to finish, go with Filip, and hopefully, have a nice time with him. She already knew that being questioned bothered him so she wasn't going to do it, he had said enough, it was time to share a pleasant moment without him going all temperamental and she going all impulsive, which lately, seemed to be a major problem for her.

"Fay, can we go to my place today? I want to try making cupcakes" Gili asked as they cleaned a couple of beakers in the laboratory before the ending of class.

"Uhm, Gili, I have something to do today, so is…" Fay's voice faded away progressively. Looking at the stream of water falling from the faucet, she mentally wished that Gili wouldn't ask any further, she couldn't lie anymore, she didn't want to say she was going to be with Filip either, it wasn't an easy topic for her yet.

Gili smiled, knowing perfectly well what that meant "Okay, we'll do it another day"

Fay turned to look at her, a bit taken aback, that had been easy "Why don't you ask Petunia?" She suggested, smiling and recovering the anxiety about the main topic of the day.

"She has practice today, doesn't matter, it's better if it's the three of us" Gili replied with a sweet smile.

Fay regarded her pleased, her friend was always looking for the bright side of the situation, constantly beaming her joyful spirit, it made her feel better.

* * *

><p>Fay was waiting in the courtyard, outside of the cafeteria. The air was quite cold as the wind blew against her skin giving her chills once in a while. It had been raining all morning long, luckily it stopped around noon, and luckily she was wearing long sleeves because she'd forgotten to grab a coat when she left in the morning, she'd been distracted all day.<p>

Rubbing her hands together in a lame attempt to produce a bit of warmness, she saw the guy she was waiting for, going out of the building from the cafeteria door; but he wasn't alone. At his side, there was her, as astonishing as always, the wind softly caressing her long purple hair. How was it that even the wind was at her favor? It was ridiculous. Fay watched how, apparently they said their goodbyes and he stopped to look around for a red haired girl with his eyes. He finally spotted her, smiling and walking toward her, until Lannie called him.

'_What does she want with him?'_

He turned his attention to the girl behind him; Lannie looked at Fay briefly with her sharp and perfectly outlined eyes, giving her the fakest smile Fay had ever seen. It was nerve wracking.

They talked for a few seconds, he nodded, she smiled brightly all the time, which was a sickening thing to witness, and Fay just wished she could read lips to know why did she had to call him back.

It finally came to an end and they walked apart, she didn't look at Fay again.

They didn't even touched once, but why did Fay feel so envy of their relationship? It was jealousy. As if Lannie knew him better than her, which gave her certain superiority, something that she knew, and was willingly using it to annoy her.

"Cold?" Filip asked sitting in front of Fay and dropping his bag on the table. She looked up, feeling her heart take a leap of joy. He was in plain black jeans and t-shirt, the usual dog tags hanging from his neck, military boots and black camouflaged jacket.

"N-not really" She was freezing but lied, and it was obvious. He chuckled.

"Take this" He pulled off his jacket and handed it over the table.

"N-no" She shook her head "That's no necessary, you'll get cold"

He arched a brow at her "Don't argue with me"

She stared for a moment into his blank expression and finally, in a meekly act, she took the jacket from him.

"That's better" He said with a pleased smile.

She sighed _'Always getting his way'_

"Now, what is it that you want to do?" There was a hint of mischief in both his voice and smile.

"You said you'll cook for me" Fay replied with a bright smile almost squealing and making him laugh at her enthusiasm.

"And what do you want me to cook"

"I don't know" She shrugged looking at him from beneath her lashes as she tapped the tip of her fingers together.

He cocked his head with half a smile on his lips "You tell me, what's your favorite"

She thought for a minute and then spoke "I-I like Italian" Looking around, trying to avoid his stare. Was Italian okay? Did he like it too? She really wanted it to be a perfect evening.

"Italian food?" He said looking up, as if trying to image what he could do.

She nodded happily.

"Okay, I can do that" He stated, smiling fondly at her.

"Really?"

She looked so happy, bright and innocent. And all of that happiness because of…him? It was hard to believe, he didn't understand how he could make her feel like that, how he could make grow such blissful feelings in someone's heart.

"…yeah" He said smiling, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

"What is it?" She asked a bit taken aback, why did he look so sad all of a sudden?

His elbow rested on the table as he cupped his mouth with his hand. Staring at her, he shook his head.

"Wh-what? Tell me" Her voice was full of concern, he was so hard to understand. She reached out her hand to touch him.

"Don't" He said, serious.

"I-I'm sorry" She hurried to apologize looking down at her hands, ashamed. He didn't seem mad, but confused, as if having an internal fight. What was going on in his mind?

"No" He put his two hands flat on the table "_I am_ sorry Fay" He shrugged looking down too.

Why? That wasn't like him at all, he looked so lost, it was worrying her, did she do something wrong?

"About what…" She spoke quietly.

He looked back at her and opened his mouth but no word came out, he closed it and opened it again "Fay, it's better if we don't do this"

"Do…what?" Her mind rambled for a moment. Could it be that he didn't like Italian? Maybe he didn't know any recipe. No, that wasn't the reason.

"This, you…and me" His voice was softer, but his expression was hard, serious, not giving anything away.

'_You and me'_ She breathed in deeply, trying to figure out his words.

"Wh-what?" She stuttered feeling a lump building in her throat "Are you breaking up with me?" She tried to sound as unaffected as possible.

He sneered, it was more like a sarcastic laugh, as if her words reminded him of an unpleasant memory "No Fay, I'm not breaking up with you because we've never been together"

She swallowed and nodded not saying anything else, she knew that the moment she opened her mouth she'd burst out in tears. It was true, there was nothing between them, it was a weird relationship but it didn't go beyond friendship, apparently; that is, if he even considered her a friend; it made her feel really stupid. She was already holding silent sobs that were threatening to make her a hopeless mess right in front of him.

"Don't…" He started, trying to say something and finding it difficult while watching her holding her tears and failing miserably as small drops started to fall down her cheeks.

He stood up and walked to her. Meanwhile, she was staring down at her shaking hands, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. Sitting next to her, he grasped her face softly, making her look at him.

"Don't cry, okay?" He spoke slowly as if trying to explain something to a little child "It's better like this, believe me" He caressed her tearstained cheeks with the back of his hand and she felt like she was breaking into little pieces, slowly and painfully.

"B-but, you we-were okay with i-it, a m-minute ago" Her words came out in a pitch tone of voice, between sobs. She didn't like being so weak, but there was no strength left in her.

He close his eyes, breathing through his mouth, when he opened them again, they were dark and threatening.

"Look" He said between clenched teeth, this time, grabbing her cheeks with his hand sharply. She winced "I can't do this, okay? Just leave it" His tone was harsh, making her yelp and cry more.

He ran his fingers through his hair, annoyed "Okay?" He repeated.

She nodded closing her eyes and feeling more tears flowing over her cheeks. He put his index finger under her chin, making her look up; his eyes were hard and cold, making her froze, they were clouded with anger or grief, she couldn't tell.

"O-ok-kay" Her voice was barely audible.

He leaned closer and gave her a chaste kiss on her lips. A tender gesture that sent chills down her spine and made her heart ache as if there was an invisible force crushing it mercilessly inside of her chest.

"I-is…" She tried to articulate the words but the lump on her throat was too painful and the sobs didn't stop.

"Fay…" He spoke softly but didn't dare to touch her again, she would break, because of him, she definitely would.

Looking at her…so fragile; he wasn't able to deal with it, because there was a part of him, that somehow enjoyed making her suffer, seeing her falling apart. It switched something deep inside of him, something that threatened with driving him insane. The thought made him wince and twitch uncomfortably. That was why, it was the only way, it had gone too far already, and it was _his_ mistake, but she would have to suffer the consequences too. There was no other way.

She looked up, her cheeks red and her eyes gleaming with tears, after taking a deep breath, she asked "I-is it…b-because of her?" Trying to calm herself down, she faced him with a straight expression but the tears didn't stop. She had to know, if not, the thought would keep spinning around in her mind, driving her crazy.

He frowned, taking her words for a second and finally understanding she was referring to Lannie "No!" He said, scowling and shaking his head as if it was the most absurd thing to say "Don't be ridiculous. This isn't a fucking soap opera." He snapped at her, brushing his two hands through his hair. He did that a lot when he was angry.

She pursed her lips, frowning at him and biting her lower lip until it started to bleed, but it was okay now, the physical pain was a lure to alienate herself from the pain on her heart. Wasn't he done with hurting her? Wasn't it enough?

Everyone was right, it was too much for her to handle. She was too naive, too stupid. After being warned, she decided to keep going on her own; now the only thing left was to face the pain.

"Just…" He put his hand on the table to stand up, clearly annoyed, but why? He was the one breaking her heart, it wasn't fair. He stopped for a second, and then he stepped aside, took his bag and walked away.

The now completely dejected girl thought she heard him say 'I'm sorry' once more, but she wasn't sure, it didn't matter anymore.

* * *

><p>"Fay?"<p>

Was there someone calling her name? She felt a hand on her shoulder, and looked up blinking twice, confused, where was she again?

"Fay, are you okay?" She nodded, why was Harrie there? Such a worried expression on his face.

After Filip left her alone, after he abandoned her without giving any reason, she roughly wiped her tears with the back of her hands, in a pointless attempt to recover, only making her skin turn redder. The tears still flowing non- stop.

The disturbed girl stood up too quickly, losing her balance. She took her bag and hung it on her shoulder finding the simple task a bit difficult. It was the jacket, she was still wearing it and it was too large for her, but she didn't bother with it. Rolling up the sleeves she started to walk. Where was she going? She didn't remember, but her feet kept moving.

Reaching the school building she looked up at it, standing in front of the cafeteria door, from where he came out just minutes ago. Did she want to go back in? No. Why was she there then? What was she trying to do?

Suddenly, the blow of pain hit her against her chest once more, the world spinning around and her knees weakening. Leaning against the cold double door, Fay let herself fall to the hard concrete.

That was it, that's how she got there, but how long had she been sitting in that spot?

"Fay, c'mon" She looked at Harrie, confused, but took his hand as he helped her up. He was on his soccer uniform, slightly out of breath, his dark orange hair a bit messy and a few drops of sweat falling down his face.

Placing a hand around her shoulders, he leaded the almost unresponsive girl inside the school. She wasn't actually aware of her surroundings. They went through two doors, a flight of stairs, a second flight of stairs, a turn to the left, another door and finally a soft seat.

She focused her attention in a setpoint on the wall. It was her, and nobody else, she didn't want to go out of her bubble, it was too painful.

There was Harrie's voice again, she could barely hear it, but it wasn't directed to her. Who was he talking with? Probably someone at the phone because she could only hear his voice.

"…no…I don't know" He spoke quietly.

"…yeah, alone"

"...of course not!"

"…babe, how do you want me to know that?" There was a hint of exasperation in his voice now.

"...sure, I know"

"…okay, just hurry up…yeah, me too"

A clicking sound could be heard in the silence of the room, then, Harrie kneeled in front of Fay calling her name.

"Fay?" After a few seconds she blinked and saw him, as if he had just appeared in her viewing rage.

"Y-yeah?" She whispered and he smiled kindly at her.

"Do you want to drink some water?"

She shook her head, apologetically. The girl looked too pale, her lips and eyes were red and a bit swollen. He pursed his lips but didn't insist.

"Okay" He nodded "Let me know if you want something"

Fay gave him a sincere smile which disappeared slowly as she went back to her abstracted self, staring at nothing.

'_What a nice guy'_ Was the only though that crossed her mind.

Harrie walked in circles around the room, waiting and not knowing what else to do. A couple of minutes later, Petunia appeared at the door, looking at her boyfriend, he signaled with his head at his right; there she was, sitting on a large couch in the infirmary, wearing an oversized jacket, her bag spread at her side, her hands resting in her lap and her eyes bored looking at the wall.

She walked over her friend, and Harrie left the room in silence.

Petunia sat next to Fay, putting a hand over hers before talking.

"Fay, are you okay?" She said in a sweet tone of voice.

"Wh-what?" Fay turned to look at her, suddenly confused, what was Petunia doing there? She smelled nice. The blue haired girl was wearing blue sweatpants and hoodie, a pair of white sneakers and her hair in a high pony tail, obviously she had recently showered, and even like that she looked so pretty.

"Please tell me you're okay"

"I-I…I am"

"You've been crying" She said, softly brushing the back of her index finger under her friend's eyes, she wasn't crying anymore but her face was stained with dry tears "It was him, right?"

"…" Fay looked down at her knotted hands, feeling ashamed, what could she said?

"Did he do something to you?" Petunia asked, giving her friend a reassuring squeeze on her hand "Fay, talk to me, what happened?"

"N-no Petunia, he-he didn't. He d-didn't do anything"

"But something happened…I'm worried about you" Her voice full of concern was now a whisper.

Petunia didn't know what to say to make her talk. She had to know, what did he do with her friend, she looked like a ghost, and Harrie panicked when he found her. It had to be bad, but she didn't seemed hurt, physically hurt, which was her major concern, then what?

"Did you…" She hesitated "Did you broke up?"

Fay stiffened in her seat "N-no, Petunia, he didn't br-break up with me, because we've never been t-together" She snapped at her friend in a quivering voice using his same words, and she broke again.

It was an endless flow of sobs and tears, Petunia looked at her perplexed for a moment and then threw her arms around Fay, hugging her tightly. She could almost feel her pain, the weeping full of the cries from her broken heart, it was literally heartbreaking seeing her suffering so much, it was so tangible, so painful.

Fay clung to her friend letting out everything she had been holding for the last couple hours, she couldn't believe she was able to cry so hard, not even in her most desperate moments she let out so many tears; not when her mom separated her from her grandma, not when her first and only pet, a little white bunny died, not when she was a child and wasn't able to handle the solitude of a thunderstorm, not even then. It was the first time, she had so many pain to let out.

Loosing track of time, she sank in the deep darkness of the feelings that were threatening with breaking her apart, it was liberating yet painful as nothing else. She felt the soft strokes from her friend on her hair, who stayed quietly at her side.

"It's okay" Petunia whispered to the inconsolable girl.

"It-it hurts s-so b-bad" She let out the words between chocking sobs.

"Oh god…Fay, c'mon…Fay, look at me" She cupped her friend's face between her hands to catch her attention. But looking at her eyes, the usual shinning and shy amber eyes, the ones that always reflected how sweet and innocent that girl was, how pretty she was; now clouded with sorrow and agony, there was no light left in them. How could someone do something like that to a person who only inspired the wish of protecting. She would never forgive him.

Petunia took a deep breath trying to swallow the urge to cry along with her friend, it wasn't fair that she suffered alone, but she had to be strong, for her. It would only weaken her more if she didn't lend her strength. "It's gonna be alright" Her voice cracked a little even if she tried to be as steady as possible "It may seem like the end of the world right now, but it's not, you have me and Gili, you have friends, so you're not alone, you can cry now, I know it's painful, but you have to trust me… that it's gonna be okay" She managed to say in a quivering voice, feeling a weight on her chest.

Fay winced closing her eyes and nodded slowly. They stayed quiet for a few more minutes until Fay's crying ended up in a sequence of light sobs.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't hate me :P Review! :3<strong>

**Bye-bye~**


	16. Chapter 16

**CheshireSalem** Don't worry! :P It wasn't bad and I was kidding too ^^ thank you for reviewing :3

**Beautifully-Asymmetric** Really? I hope it wasn't too sad for you :P thank you and keep reading! :33

**Therosiesweetheart** I'm sorry :P and thank you for reading :3

**Guest** thank you for reading ^^

**BrendanFletcher** Gracias :3 y o.o tal vez se le fue la mano? :P

**Sarah** I'm glad you liked it :3 keep reading! ^^

**Chapter 16! Hope you like it ^^**

* * *

><p>Nightmares didn't stop, and Night Terrors came back, because they are two different things. Fay knew that well.<p>

For her a nightmare was a bad dream, a scary dream. A combination of frightening images or situations, was being surprised by something or someone that caused her horror, that provoked the wish of running away and didn't let her go back to sleep after she was awoken from it, precisely because she was afraid.

But a Night Terror, was the fear itself. She couldn't be scared of something specific, because she wasn't actually awake during a night terror. It's a middle stage, a partial awakening from sleep, even if she screamed, kicked or had her eyes wide open, she wasn't completely conscious. But what remained, was the fear inside of her.

She couldn't even remember her last night terror before the episode on Filip's house; it must've happened more than a year ago. And now that she thought it was in the past, her fears were coming back.

* * *

><p>Petunia was a good friend and a nice girl. Some people could say she had a perfect life. She was smart and beautiful; someone like her could get anything in life. What they didn't know was how lonely was her life before Gili and Harrie.<p>

People are envious; there is no point on denying that there are a lot of hateful people in the world. She was only approached by girls who wanted to betray her, it had been like that all her life, therefore, she didn't trust anyone who claimed being her friend, not even giving them a chance . All of that of course, before Gili.

She developed early, catching some unwanted attention. Boys always pretended being nice to her, being too friendly, causing more hate from random idiotic girls. How disgusting were their obvious hidden motives.

On her last year of middle school she started dating a lot of them. Just one, maximum two dates, public places only. Petunia wasn't stupid, she knew how bad that made her look, how many lies those guys told to her and about her. But she was tired of being alone, tired of being hated for no reason. That would fix everything. Or so she thought, she didn't realize it was the wrong way.

Of course, she wasn't alone anymore, there was always something to do, someone to call; and of course, she gave plenty of reasons for being hated, who wouldn't hate a pretty, arrogant girl, which let any guy get his way with her. But she still felt empty.

In her first day of high school though, she met Gili. They had seen each other before in middle school, but unfortunately never were in the same classes. It was hard at the beginning; she wouldn't open so easily to an unknown girl just because she was nice and over friendly. But there was no way around it, she was meant to be her best friend. After that, she didn't want to be alone anymore and she didn't have to either. As for dating, she started doing it only when she truly liked someone, though that didn't always work. Until she met Harrie, she fell helplessly in love with him, and having as a reference all of her previous unpleasant experiences, she knew there was no way she would ever leave his side.

But even if her life hadn't been always bright, nothing prepared her for the challenge that was dealing with Fay's fears.

That night it was pouring rain outside, Petunia's parents were out for the weekend. The sound of huge drops of water slamming against the roof and the loud rumble of a thunder every few minutes weren't enough to overshadow Fay's screams.

It didn't wake her because she wasn't able asleep, the sky was being too loud that night. On the contrary, Fay fell deeply after a chamomile tea Petunia prepared for her. They were in Petunia's bed after she insisted Fay to stay with her, she didn't want to leave her alone.

"Fay!" Petunia shook the berserk girl from her shoulders with shaking hands "Fay look at me!" She put he hands on her own mouth totally terrified.

At first she thought Fay was scared from the thunders, even she was a bit scare. But her friend didn't respond. She suddenly sat up screaming and crying, her eyes wide open and her pupils completely dilated as she grabbed the blankets at her sides in her tightened fists.

Seeing how there was no reaction from her, Petunia roughly reached for her phone on her nightstand in the dark, overthrowing a lamp in the hurry. She tried calling Fay's home but there was no answer, not knowing what else to do she dialed Gili's number. There was nothing in her but pure panic; however, she was able to explain what was happening.

"Petunia calm down" Gili tried to settle her nerves.

"But Gili, sh-she's just there" Petunia stuttered "…with her face between her hands crying and gasping, she doesn't talk to me, I-I didn't think she was going to take it so bad" she placed her hand on her chest, feeling the racing heartbeats.

"No Petunia, it's a bad dream…I think, it happened to me a couple of times…when I was little" Gili tried to convey a soothing feeling.

"Wh-what do I do"

"Don't worry, she'll fall asleep again, try approaching her, tell her to calm down, just hug her or at least stay at her side"

"O-okay"

She did as told, completely terrified of making things worst.

"F-Fay" She said in a whisper. When she touched her, Fay flinched but didn't move away, she didn't scream again, it was just an inconsolable crying.

"Hush….hush" Petunia hugged her while kneeled on her bed, not letting go of the phone, she wasn't able to do it alone, though Gili stayed quiet, she knew her friend was there.

Fay cuddled in her lap like a little girl, weeping softly with her eyes close. Petunia stroked her hair until she fell asleep again.

"It-it worked" She spoke on the phone, out of breath.

"Good…are you okay now?"

"Yeah, I can't believe it, she's like a little child" She let out a nervous giggle "Is she going to be okay?"

"Yes" Gili said but the true was that she had no idea, she just hoped Fay would get better.

It took Petunia at least one hour more to sleep. Fay was sleeping peacefully and the storm cleared up slowly with a rhythmic fall of small drops of water.

* * *

><p>Next morning was far from being a nice day. The sky was dark with grey clouds, it was cold and depressing, especially for the lack of sleep.<p>

Even if Fay didn't remember her episode from the night before, she felt more tired than ever, her friend told her what happened and she apologized, though there was nothing she could have done to avoid it. Petunia was a bit sleepy from the lack of rest too, she tried to convince Fay of staying home, but she didn't want to, it would be even more depressing.

They didn't talk about it, even Gili didn't ask her what had happened. They would just pretend, until she wanted to tell them, but it was hard feign they didn't notice how miserable Fay felt.

The first week was the worst. She didn't want to do anything, talk to anybody, go anywhere. Petunia asked countless time to stay with her again, but she didn't relent, there was no way she would bother her friend again. Gili tried too, unsuccessfully.

They tried to get her out self-enclosure, everyday coming up with a new plan, but she didn't want to. The girl seemed literally empty, she was going to school, listening to her lectures, eating even if it didn't have any taste, she didn't want to be nagged for no eating; but it was all mechanical. She wasn't talking, all her replies were monosyllabic.

It was worrying, but she would snap out of it, eventually. Gili and Petunia were sure of it.

* * *

><p>After two weeks, the two girls had already decided they should stop with the unnecessary and useless attempts to make Fay feel better, she needed her time, and they should give it to her. But things were actually getting better, she started pretending being interested in what other people said, feign smiles was becoming easier too, as well as articulating polite responses, that was progress, somehow. She normally wasn't a very outgoing person, so people couldn't tell there was something wrong unless they were very close to her.<p>

That Saturday morning, she decided it was time to go out of the house again. She had been practically cloistered inside of her house when she wasn't at school.

Her daily visits to the library had stopped too, so it would be embarrassing appearing at Mr. Pop's so out of the blue. But at that point, all of her feelings were too numb to be embarrassed. Anyway, she called before going out; being ill-mannered wasn't something she wanted.

As strange as it may seem she missed Curt, and visiting him probably meant meeting Spencer too. She knew that perfectly well, and even thought she had been avoiding him, she didn't feel anything about that either.

Mr. Pop welcomed her gladly and for the first time in what seemed like ages, she felt like herself again. In that place she didn't have to pretend anything. The environment was so family like, so light and warm…so different. She loved the image of father and son together, though Mr. Pop was a bit neglected he did a great job taking care of the kid.

She couldn't believe she was so fond with Curt, he was truly like a little brother, and she didn't even like kids before, but he was so cute and adorable that even she couldn't resist it, he was adorable.

After lunch, Fay helped Curt with his homework while Mr. Pop went out to buy the groceries. Around 4 p.m. when Curt asked to play outside with his bicycle they met Spencer again. Fay and he didn't spoke much, but the three of them went for an ice cream, it was a nice feeling, as if everything was the same as usual. They sat outside of Curt's house, in the front yard, while he ran around with his toy airplane.

"Are you gonna stop avoiding me now?" After a long silence Spencer finally spoke. He didn't seem mad, not even hurt by her attitude towards him. His voice was calm.

"I'm sorry" She said too quietly, if he wasn't so close to her, he couldn't have heard her voice "It-it wasn't my intention"

"It's okay" He turned to look at her with a warm smile.

As nice as he wanted to be, she wasn't able to look at him, at that expression. His lips were smiling but his eyes were desperately looking into hers for answers, and there was no answer to give. She didn't want to feel his pity for her; it made her feel more insignificant. And an 'I told you' was the last, last thing she needed.

"Are you okay?"

Fay managed to give him a shy smile. The situation was becoming uncomfortable.

"Yes" Even her voice sounded different now. It seemed weaker than ever.

"You're not" He said and with a sigh, he lay on the ground, hands behind his head and looking up at the sky. There were a few sunbeams breaking through the thick clouds.

She didn't replied, he didn't ask anything else, they just sit there until it was time for dinner.

Later, Mr. Pop offered to ride Fay home and after she said good bye to Curt, Spencer hugged her tightly and it was the longest hug she had ever received from him. And then, she started to feel again, it wasn't pleasant, because the only thing she could feel now was the desire to cry. She broke apart from him, staring down, she gave a step back but her hands still on his arms, looking for support. She appreciated the gesture but didn't want to be weakened again. Breathing in, she looked up and smiled at him. His expression was of confusion but for the first time, there was no need for words, and that was all.

Again, they didn't talk to each other for a while. She didn't allow herself to miss him like before; there was no place in her for more useless emotions.

* * *

><p>Fay didn't feel like her situation was worse than before, but she didn't feel like she had already overcome it neither. She missed Filip, and that word wasn't even enough to describe her emotional state. It was more like yearning, a strong and persistent yearning.<p>

Everything she experienced with him was new, even the end. That's why she didn't know how to handle it. During the day she tried to keep her mind busy with other matters, but it was at night that it became harder. There was more than one time when she found herself crying in her bed without even realizing it, she just couldn't hold it forever, it was still painful. And more than once she did use of her mom's sleeping pills again, with more discretion this time, she already knew that only one or even half of it would be enough. It wasn't easy to sleep having even three nightmares in one night.

There was one particular nightmare that she couldn't forget. It began like most of them, being alone in the darkness. She reached around trying to find a support, a wall, an exit. There was none. It was very cold, but there was no wind. Her body was freezing, making it hard to walk. She looked around hugging herself, there was literally nothing to see, what more terrifying than that?

With her heart thumping loudly in her ears, she started to walk, and then felt small drops falling on her arms. She looked up desperate, trying to find the rainy sky. She didn't find it, it was her tears, flowing without notice. After shaking her head she kept ahead.

Unexpectedly, her step echoed all over the place when her shoe stepped in a hard surface. What was it? She turned around in a quick move, every step echoing loudly now. The unknown surface started to come into view, as if it had its own light, you couldn't see anything else but the white and black squares. She was standing in a giant chessboard, the large white pieces could be spotted in the distance but she couldn't see the other end of the board, where the black pieces were supposed to be.

She tried to walk away from it, the sounds of her own steps were appalling. But she wasn't able to advance or get out of it. It was an endless squared board. All of a sudden, she heard a thunderous sound, like a thousand of crystal glasses shattering against the floor, all at once, the sound came from everywhere and it was deafening. She gasped, covering her ears with her hands and falling to her knees. The sound stopped and new echoing footsteps replaced it, as clear as hers, coming closer. She wanted to run away but absolute fear paralyzed her; sitting on her knees, shaking wildly, her eyes shut close, trying to scream, but her voice disappeared at some point, it wasn't coming out.

The steps came closer and closer, but she was unable to move. It stopped right in front of her, she could feel the presence of someone. Nothing happened and the pressure was threatening with driving her crazy, it felt like her heart was going to explode, it was even painful. She finally dared to look up, but it was a dark figure, a shadow standing between shattered white pieces spread on the floor. Looking up at him, she felt her tears falling down her cheeks, she was completely helpless.

There was pain, again, while she stared at his glowing green eyes, which was the only thing she could see in his shadowed figure. But in her state of unconsciousness, she had no idea who was him. He didn't move, it felt like an eternity. The floor started to wag, in wavy movements, she looked down startled. The surface became like black quicksand, but it was only the square in which she was kneeling. It was like mud, cold mud that started swallowing her, slowly. She was sinking. There was squealing and struggling but she kept going deeper, she tried to call for help to the person in front of her, but her voice still didn't come out.

He kept staring at her quizzically and she was sinking faster every time. When the thick substance that was sucking her down reached her chest, she started to surrender, her vision becoming blurry. And the dark figure finally moved. He bent down and grabbed her hand. The moment she felt his touch, a thrill of familiar warmness traveled through all her body. Time stopped, she didn't feel cold anymore, and then, she woke up. Feeling a hollow sensation inside of her.

Why did he save her? She didn't want to be saved by him, not anymore. It was an empty wish that didn't come true.

* * *

><p>One month has passed, and Gili and Petunia were more than delighted when Fay finally accepted their invitation. She couldn't believe they saved the cupcake making for her.<p>

"I told you, it's better with the three of us" Gili said with a smile while filling the shopping cart with flour and baking powder.

"And that's exactly what we need, fill you up with sweets" Petunia spoke with a mischievous smile, giving a conspirator look at Gili "It'll make you feel better"

"R-really?" Fay asked with a nervous smile.

"Sure! Come" Gili grabbed her hand and dragged her around, looking for icing sugar and vanilla extract.

Fay was still struggling every day to quell the pain, but there was too much darkness in her since then, since that day when everything ended before even beginning. She was able to somehow get rid of it, but it was just from the surface of her mind. It resided deep inside of her, with no promise of disappearing and threatening with bringing down all her life if she wasn't careful.

"Fay, help me with this" Gili's voice snapped her out of her thoughts "Here, you just have to beat the sugar with the butter" She said handing her a large bowl to work with it.

She put all her effort in doing the small tasks that were handed to her, she didn't want to ruin anything and they all already knew she was a danger while cooking.

After two hours of baking and preparing, and burning and remaking, and leaving a disastrous kitchen behind, they finally got to make tasty cupcakes, they were even too good for a first try, but Gili's cooking skills were always helpful.

"These are really good, right?" Gili spoke taking her second cupcake. They were on Petunia's room, sitting on the carpeted floor.

"Yes" Fay said giving a bite to her cupcake and cleaning the excess of icing from her lips with a napkin.

"They do make you feel better, right?" Petunia asked.

"Y-yeah" said Fay with a giggle.

Petunia poked on the icing with her index finger, bringing it then to her mouth "So… are you really feeling better?" She asked a bit doubtful, her eyes shifted to look at Fay from under her lashes.

Fay looked down at her hands and thought it for a moment. Two pairs of eyes completely focused on her.

"Yes…I-I am. It's just…" She shrugged; there were no words to explain her thoughts. Even she couldn't understand them.

"That means you're ready to date other guys" Petunia teased, saying it in a cheerful voice.

It scared Fay for a minute, she looked at her friend wide eyed thinking she was talking seriously, but she was laughing. Fay narrowed her eyes and laughed too.

"I-I told you we weren't dating" She brushed her hair behind her ear feeling awkward.

"Fay, no matter what he said, you know that's not true"

She looked at Petunia's blank expression, biting her bottom lip and trying to think of a reply. No matter what he said, and no matter what she thought, it was over.

"When did you start going out…or whatever…it…was" Gili interrupted with her pitch excited voice.

Fay pursed her lips. That was something she couldn't answer, because she didn't know. Petunia sighed, she understood Fay's thoughts. There was not 'when', it just happened.

"Was there something…which made you realize that you liked him?" Petunia asked trying to help. If she really wanted to help Fay, she should have stopped the questioning, but she was curious too, so she could at least try making it easier for her.

Fay shifted on her place, feeling uncomfortable "Som-something you ask…" Was there actually a time when she didn't have feelings for him? She couldn't remember a single moment with him in which her heart wasn't pounding wildly. Out of the fear or excitement, it was a mix, a bittersweet mix. So, was there a specific reason?

There was a memory, though. The first time she felt she wanted to get closer to him, to just sit by his side and find out everything about him and his life "There was this one day…I thought it was pretty nice of him" She started to talk, fiddling with the tips of her hair and looking down. Gili's eye were wide while her cheeks where full of cupcake, she almost swallowed the last one complete.

"It-it was raining…a lot, and he came to Mr. Pop's, to a-apologize with me" Her eyes shifted around the room, her cheeks slightly pink.

There was total silence, she looked at her two friends and it was an almost comical sight. They were speechless just by those few words, and obviously waiting for more.

"But why was him apologizing?" Petunia asked.

"Why…" Fay frowned and looked up, thinking "Why was him apologizing…?" She repeated. Petunia and Gili interchanged confused looks.

She ran her index finger through her lower lip instinctively, but there was still no answer "I…I think he yelled at me"

'_Did he yell at me?'_

"He was really rude one day…a-and I got scared"

There were only blurry images in her mind, unclear, there was a kiss. Right. He kissed her and it was really scary. Should she tell that too? She looked at her friends and remembered there were things hard to explain, their faces told her that they were already freaked out. And she truly wasn't able to recall the details.

"What?" Petunia asked, her voice was harsh.

"Why did he yell at you, what happened?" Gili's soft voice made her reflect on what she said, on what happened that day, on the memory. Why was it so hard to remember?

"I don't know" Fay said simply.

"What do you mean?" Petunia asked, quietly this time.

"I-I don't remember…" She closed her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair. She immediately withdrew her hand recollecting that it was one of his habits when he was disturbed "Some parts yes, b-but it's…"

"It's weird…that you don't remember" Petunia stated, speaking slowly. There were many things she didn't understand about their relationship.

"He erased my memory" Fay said, with a whisper, looking down and drawing small circles on the carpet with her fingers.

"What?" Gili asked and there was a hint of alarm on her voice.

"How…What does that mean?" Petunia followed, with a muffled laugh, but her face showed a worried expression. Was her friend going crazy?

"I-I mean…" Fay swallowed, searching her brain trying to find an explanation "I don't mean it like…literally. Is just that it's…so confusing…him, he's confusing. So I sometimes don't understand what's real or what's not, you know? Th-there is one point in which I no longer want to try to understand anymore, I give up. An-and then, memories start getting blurry…confusing"

There were brooding expressions in the three of them. Fay breathed in deeply, her friends probably thought she was totally crazy, it was discouraging.

"I…I think I get you" Gili spoke turning the attention to her, a bit hesitant but with a wide smile "Yeah, is like when I don't get maths, and then I start getting it, but it gets so confusing again, and then all the memories of what I thought I understood start getting mixing, and blurry and I end up worse than at the beginning"

Fay and Petunia looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"What?" Gili whined.

"No-nothing" Fay responded out of breath "You're right, you get it"

"Oww, this is not funny, you're always making fun of me"

"Gili! Don't be such a baby" Petunia teased her "Or there would be no more cupcakes for you"

"Shut up" Gili told to both of them laughing and dragging the plate with all the cupcakes closer to her. Then she crawled until sitting in front of Fay. She grabbed her hands and Fay looked at her with a smile, a bit surprised.

"Don't be always by yourself, okay?" She spoke giving her a sweet smile. Fay nodded shyly.

"You have fun with us, right? We can make you happy"

"Yes, I-I'm sorry" Fay said a bit ashamed.

"Don't be! Don't be silly. Just have fun and forget about him, and when you remember him, only think about the bad things. You deserve better"

Fay looked at her smiling wanly. In that moment she really wanted to cry, but she fought it with all her might.

"You do" Gili assured to her. Fay nodded.

It wasn't that she didn't trust her friend. It was that she didn't trust herself, she didn't have faith in her will to let everything in the past. She felt unable to do so, it wasn't even clear in her heart if she truly wanted to forget about him.

Her mind wasn't even capable of recalling bad things about him, because there was only _one _thing. And it was fear. Fear to him. And even that didn't stop her before, from falling for him.

"Yeah, let's forget about boys, tonight is just about us, okay?" Petunia said lively, trying to lighten up the mood.

"Okay" Fay said nodding. It was true that being with them definitely made her feel better.

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Petunia, she has a tough life because she's too perfect :P I know it's such a shoujo manga cliche, but it seemed to suit her ;3<strong>

**Finally, I'll stop writing replies to the reviews, since it's supposed to be against the rules (just recently found out about this :P), I use to do it because I really love reviews and a simple thank you didn't seem enough but anyway…keep reading and reviewing :3 any question, suggestion or anything you want to say I'll gladly reply by PM, you can write me too if you want to ^^**

**That's all, until next time :3**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everyone! ****Thank you for your reviews, I love you all :33**

**Sorry if last chapter seemed a bit rushed but as you can see it was too depressing :P anyway, here is chapter 17, hope you like it ^^**

* * *

><p>"Why don't we meet there? We don't have to do everything together, you know?" Liam said rolling his eyes at Gili.<p>

"We can come here, at school, it's easy for everyone" Cody suggested, trying to calm the rising voices.

"Well, it's easy for you because you live near" Petunia said with a sigh.

It was basically Gili and the twins who got out of control every time they had a small discussion. But this time Fay thought they were exaggerating. It was the stupidest fight.

The discussion was about going to an amusement park. It was a journey of an hour and a half. For Fay, it didn't worth it. She was really happy of having friends to share but there were moments when she really regretted having social commitments. Gili's persuasiveness was an incredible ability but there was nothing in the world that could convince Fay of riding one of those attractions. So for her, it was a waste of time, but she'd already agreed on going.

What was really and absolutely pointless was the current argument. Gili was stuck with the idea of a kinder garden trip, in which everyone had to be together every moment. Therefore they had to settle a meeting point in the morning and then go to the bus station together.

"Come on guys, that's the fun part of a trip with friends" Gili insisted.

"It's not a trip Gili, is like two hours from here, and it's an amusement park, don't make things more difficult" Petunia tried to reason with her, but she already knew how stubborn her friend could be.

The bus ride was also Gili's idea. The only one going by car was Russell, and that was because Toottie's parents didn't allow her to go if it wasn't on her new car, a safety thing. What was the deal with rich people and safety? But well, it made sense, if you have money to buy a safe car, why not use it.

"Why don't we just go and forget about Gili? She's the nuisance" Shinji said in a mocking tone. Gili glared at him but didn't reply "What do you say Neal? You're too quiet today"

"I don't care. I just want to go and taste all the candies I can" The boy said with a dreamy expression, almost drooling. Everybody else rolled their eyes at him.

They'd keep arguing because they were all thinking about their own convenience. Meanwhile, Fay laid her head on the cafeteria table, looking bored at the peanut butter chocolate pudding Gili nicely gave her and which she wasn't going to eat. She poked it with the little spoon, drawing a pattern of lines on the creamy surface.

"Are you going to eat that?" Neal, who was sitting next to her, asked while looking at the sweet with wide eyes.

She let out a muffled giggle "No, take it"

He smiled happily and she smiled back at him. So easy to make him happy. She wished she could be like that.

Sitting up, she sighed. It was so boring, and their senseless discussion was still going on.

"What about the chess park?"

Everyone in the table turned to look at her. She was looking down so it was surprising finding so many eyes on her when she looked up.

She blinked a little confused. Probably they didn't expect her participation in the conversation.

"Th-the chess park?" She repeated trying to make them understand her point "It's almost in the middle of the town, is near here, not so far from the bus station…" Why was everybody looking at her like she was crazy? It was a good idea, it was a middle point.

"Yeah Fay, we know, but…" Gili spoke to her slowly, leaving the words in the air and looking at her with an expression she couldn't understand.

"Nobody goes there" Petunia finished the phrase for her "Unless you're going to play chess or if you're…you know" Petunia looked at Fay with a haunted expression, trying to figure out if her friend knew what she meant.

"Oh...o-okay" Fay looked down feeling ashamed. Boring was better than that.

"Why do you know about the chess park?" She looked up at Harrie, who spoke, staring at her with a scowl. Petunia pulled from his arm and glared at him.

She wanted to become invisible right then and there. It was obvious what everyone was thinking. They were thinking about Filip, and her. She didn't want to be related with him anymore. She was trying to forget, really hard. So why did she even came up with the chess park idea. It was prove that forgetting was far from being an easy task. It was actually the hardest thing she'd ever tried to do.

"W-well" Gili spoke, awkwardly trying to drag the attention back to her "I guess we'll meet at the bus station then. Petunia is right, it's the easiest way"

"See? That's what I've been trying to say all along" Said Liam irritated.

The loud noises came back, all the attention away from Fay once more and she was able to let out a sigh of relieve.

"Is because nobody dares to mess with those people" Neal spoke to Fay while he finished the desert.

Her eyes snapped to look at him "Wh-what? In the chess park?"

"Yes…you knew it, right? You're not supposed to go there" He said while licking the remains of the pudding from the spoon "Though I guess is okay if it's you" He shrugged.

"I-I guess…?"

Was it? Was it okay if it was her? She went there before, but never alone. And nobody except from Petunia and Gili knew that probably it wasn't okay anymore even if it was her.

"Although…Liam and Shinji go there sometimes" Neal said in a whisper, getting closer to Fay.

"Re-really?"

"Yeah, it's not a secret that they like to do weird business"

She cocked her head "What business?"

"Like buying cheap stuff…" He raised his eyebrows but she didn't seem to get it "Really cheap stuff"

She frowned "You mean like stolen?" Fay said with apprehension and he nodded.

Her eyes wide open "Are they thieves?" she said lowering her voice.

"I don't know" He shrugged "You should know"

He looked at her and she felt a little offended thinking he might be drawing conclusions about her, based on unfounded opinions, but there was no malice in his stare. So that's what people thought about her for being related with Filip? She didn't believe he did that kind of things. She refused to think like that. But people assuming facts about her because of the people Filip knew was something she didn't like, mostly because it remembered her that there was a connection between them both.

"Haven't they offered you things?"

"Who?"

"The twins"

"Oh, no…"

"Really? They do it all the time, they get annoying. They stalk you with his 'low prices'. You know…watches, cellphones and that kind of stuff. And if you ask them, they just say they have a good supplier"

"I-I see" She said with a nervous laugh "They've never offered me anything"

"Uhm, well, you don't seem like the kind to buy cheap stuff"

"I guess" She laughed, it was more like she didn't look like to kind to buy stolen stuff.

"Because you're a good girl"

She smiled at that.

"And your boyfriend has money" He nodded smiling and her face fell serious. That wasn't funny.

"What?" She raised her voice and looked around checking nobody heard their conversation, they didn't "He didn't buy things for me" She whispered to him, it was kind of offensive, and he wasn't even her boyfriend.

"Okay" He shrugged, not giving it much importance.

"And we're not together anymore" She added quietly. She wasn't going to explain it to everybody but at least she'd avoid misunderstandings.

Neal looked at her a bit surprised. He arched a brown but didn't say anything. With a sigh she went back to being bored; her conscience decided it was safer.

* * *

><p>Looking around in the hallways the girl finally found a desert spot to spend her free hour. It was supposed to be used attending to clubs meetings. Nothing important.<p>

She sat on the stairs and let out a sigh. There was the sound of steps coming closer to her but when she noticed who was walking over, it was too late to hide. Her heart sunk in her chest. She swallowed and shifted nervously, it was the last person she wanted to see. Well, probably the second last person.

"Hi…Fay, right?"

Fay looked up totally puzzled. Her fake sweet tone of voice was disgusting.

"H-hi" She smiled nervously at the girl in front of her. Her shiny long purple hair falling over her shoulders, her sharp eyes looking maliciously at Fay, her lips twisted in a sweet and revolting smile.

Fay wasn't resentful, she couldn't even remember of someone on her life that she truly disliked with no real reason, but this girl had something she couldn't stand. It was her mere presence which made her unbearable.

Lannie sat next to her and Fay noticed the beaming necklace hanging from her neck, it was thin with a pendant of a small shining letter L on it. It was actually really pretty.

"Why are you here alone?" She asked looking at Fay and trying to act interested. But it wasn't enough to trick Fay, even she could see the slyness on her eyes.

Then what did she want? Fay wasn't with Filip anymore, something that obviously bothered her. Maybe she wanted to enjoy her suffering. Fay shook her head, she didn't know Lannie, it wasn't right thinking so ill of her.

Fay shrugged with a shy smile "I don't know…my friends are busy, so…I don't have anything else to do"

Actually she was hiding because she wanted to be alone. There were random moments when small panic attacks came over, and her heart felt like it was tearing apart. She was getting tired of her own dejection, it was like one day she was perfectly fine and the next day she received a punishment for feeling the sightless bit of happiness. At least it was less often than before.

"Why don't you look for Filip? You know he's always wandering around as if he were at his house" She said rolling her eyes and smiling.

Fay frowned. Lannie didn't know about her current situation with him or she really wanted to see her suffering.

"Come on, don't look at me like that, we're just friends, and I know you like him" She said brightly and Fay was completely speechless. She had no idea about what to say.

"Uhm…no, it's…" She looked around awkwardly and rubbed the nap of her neck "W-we're actually not friends anymore" That was the most accurate she could tell.

"Really?" Lannie looked at her skeptically, she seemed even surprised.

Fay nodded _'So, she actually didn't know' _

"Well, it was obvious it wasn't going to last" Said Lannie. A wicked grin crossed her lips. Her eyes shining in amusement.

Fay sighed, she didn't want to deal with her. She felt bad enough on her own, there was no need for help in that department.

"Ye-yeah…"

"Of course. I mean, don't get me wrong, but even if he seemed interested in you, he was going to get bored eventually, you're too plain for him" She continued talking lively, it was obviously fun for her.

"I-I guess"

"Just because you act all slutty around him to get his attention doesn't mean he's gonna like you. It's always like that, he gets easily tired of pretentious girls like you"

Fay scowled, feeling overwhelmed by her boldness, her true colors weren't nice at all "I-I didn't…I'm not li-like that" She said trying to fend.

"Oh, I'm sorry if it was offensive. I just thought it was okay with you…giving the kind of friends you have…" She said apologetically. Her way of speaking couldn't be more hypocrite.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, you're always with those two girls"

"They're not like that either" Fay snapped at her, clearly annoyed.

"Don't overreact; everybody knows your friend Petunia dated more than half the boys at school; the little one is always jumping around, being _too_ _friendly _with everyone, and you even like to share, how nice…I mean, it's weird though, I wouldn't do it" She said going back to her sweet falseness.

"What?"

"Yeah…you know, like when you were after Spencer, knowing he had something with Petunia…"

"Petunia has a boyfriend"

"Yes, I know him. I mean before. What? You didn't know about them?" She said with a sardonic expression while brushing the tips on her hair with her fingers.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about, a-and Spencer is my friend"

"I know" She replied with a whispering voice as if there were a secret between them.

"It's true!" Fay finally raised her voice, staring at the bothersome girl straight in the eye.

Fay waited for her reply but Lannie just stared back at her with a sly smile. There was the sound of someone running up the stairs but they kept looking at each other.

It was Spencer, who stopped in his tracks when he saw them. He regarded the two girls trying to read the mood, but it was a weird scene from any point of view. He frowned.

"I was looking for you" He growled.

"What now?" Lannie rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm not talking to you, and why are you bothering Fay?" He said darkly.

"What?!" She arched a brow "I'm not doing anything, you know I'm not like that"

"Yeah, right" He said with a sneer and leaned next to her reaching for Fay's hand. She smiled fondly at him, breathing deeply, in relief, it caused him to laugh.

She stood up and gave a final look at Lannie "See you" She said smiling broadly. Lannie responded with a tight smile, her eyes burning with hatred.

Fay and Spencer walked away.

"Why were you looking for me?"

"I wasn't" He said giving her a wide smile and she felt more than pleased with the coincidental encounter. He truly was her savior that time.

* * *

><p>The bell announcing the end of classes rang exactly at 4 p.m. Everybody raised from their sits, rushing to get out of the classrooms.<p>

"Are you going home now?" Gili asked Fay. Her elbow rested on the table and her cheek on her hand.

"Yeah, I'm going to the library but then I'll go"

"Why? Do we have to search for something?"

"No, it's a book Stephen recommended me. Aren't you coming home with me?"

"No" She sighed "I promised Cody going with him to the comics store"

Fay arched a brow at her "And that's bad, because…?"

A tint of pink appeared on Gili's cheeks "Because I'm like really nervous now…wanna come?" She said with a gleam of hope in both her voice and eyes.

"No way" Fay smiled at her "Relax, you get along well"

"I don't know…it was better before, when we were able to talk naturally without everything being so awkward and embarrassing" She sighed again.

Fay regarded her with sympathy "You'll be okay"

"Yeah…whatever, I'm gonna go now, take care" Said Gili grabbing her bag.

"Ok, you too"

She went into the library and Mr. Pop wasn't in his usual place next to the entrance. But it was typical of him; he used to wander around while picking up books, distracting himself talking with a random student. He was too friendly sometimes.

She walked around the bookshelves, drinking in the smell of wood, leather covers and thousands and thousands of pages, she had almost forgotten how welcoming and inviting was that environment for her. It was nostalgic and painful thinking about the reason why she wasn't going there every day anymore.

The red haired girl finally found what she was looking for. The book was in the top of the shelf. She tried reaching for it standing on her tiptoes but it was still too high for her. Looking around, she checked there was no one in sight.

She stepped on the first shelf, where the first line of books was, trying to reach a bit higher than before. She made it with effort, using her fingertips to take the book out; it was a little heavy, making her fall backwards when the book landed on her chest. But a pair of hands stopped her in the air, preventing a crash against the floor.

Fay gasped in surprise, hugging the book closer to her, and feeling her raising heartbeats. She turned around in a swift move.

"I'm so…" She held in her breath.

"I've told you to be careful" He stated expressionless. Shining emerald eyes staring down at her.

Hearing his voice again made her feel a somersault on her stomach. The lack of air was making her dizzy.

The book was still over her chest, and his hands were on her shoulders. He let them fall slowly at her sides, brushing the skin of her arms. If his voice had an effect on her, his touch was the last straw.

Her vision became blurry and she turned totally pail. His penetrating gaze still on her. He breathed through his mouth and she felt the warm air against her skin; he was close, so close that she couldn't think.

It had been too long since she last saw him. She wondered several times how was it that she didn't meet him at school when it was so common before. She decided it was for the best. But it had been a whole month since the last time. And now she knew that not seeing him had been definitely for the best. Because the effect he had on her didn't change the sightless.

The air had already abandoned completely her lungs and she felt no strength left on her body.

"Fay" He placed his index finger under her chin making her look up to take a better look of her face "Are you okay?"

He scowled "You don't look okay" He hurried to drag closer a chair from the table next to them and made her sit.

She regained a bit of her composure and put the book on the table. He kneeled in front of her.

"Are you feeling better?" He spoke while reaching up, smoothing her hair off her face and tucking it behind her ear. A pained expression on his face.

She nodded with a weak smile. It really didn't change at all, she felt pathetic. If she was recovering her normal life, it was gone again, and it took only seeing him once. Wasn't she able to forget about him? Was she destined to suffer over the same person all her life? The thought made her feel like crying but she blinked back the tears.

"Fay!"

She glanced behind him, her eyes wide open, seeing Petunia rushing towards her with Gili and Cody behind her. Filip sighed.

Petunia leaned next to Fay, at the height of her eyes, making Filip to back off. He stood up and gave a step back.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

Fay looked at her surprised and nodded. She was overacting again, Fay didn't feel comfortable with that. Gili gave her a worried look.

"Stay away from her!" Petunia snapped at Filip looking back at him.

The boy looked at her through narrowed eyes "Fine!" He hissed causing her to flinch the slightest in surprise. He gave Fay a final look and walked away.

"What a moron" Petunia complained and turned her attention to Fay.

"What did he do to you?"

"No-nothing" Fay spoke, deadpan "I almost fall and he helped me"

"Oh…okay"

"What are you doing here?" Fay asked, looking at Gili.

"I…kept your math notes" Gili said holding up Fay's notebook "So I came back with Cody and we met Petunia, she said she'd go with you" She explained while Petunia stood next to them brushing Fay's hair with her fingers, she felt a bit guilty for exaggerating.

"Fay" Gili spoke softly and kneeled next to her friend "Are you okay?"

Fay nodded and small tears fell down her cheeks. Gili gave her a warm smile, feeling bad for her.

"No" She wiped the tears with the back of her hands "I-I'm okay, it was just a bit…startling" a ghost of a smile crossed her lips.

"I don't know why but I didn't see him this whole time…maybe it was the surprise" She continued in a whisper, looking down at her hands.

Petunia pursed her lips looking ahead at nothing "Harrie told me…" she started, reluctantly. It was something Fay didn't need to know "He didn't come back to school after that day"

"Re-really?" She asked looking up at Petunia "Why?"

Her friend shrugged "I don't know, I thought he was going to go away or something, and because of that you…he...you know…but apparently that's not the reason"

"Yeah" Fay said quietly. Maybe she didn't want to know the reason, but she couldn't help but wonder. And Lannie obviously knew it, so why did she asked about Filip? She probably wanted to get information from Fay, and she actually got what she wanted to hear.

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><p><strong>Done! :3<strong>

**Please review, I promise they'll get together again so be patient :P**


	18. Chapter 18

**Here is chapter 18 ^^ I hope you like it … in this chapter I'm using some original names (such as Cro-Marmot) like nick-names, it was just impossible for me to come up with an human name for them :P so I hope it's okay with you (I use too many characters!)**

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><p>The silence of the night filling her room kept her awake until the morning, though there was no disturbance around, Fay wasn't able to sleep. It was a peaceful night, and not even the soft wind humming against the window was enough to appease her thoughts. It would have been effective before, in a more normal day and state of mind. But in that moment, there were many things to think about, things that weren't easy to let go.<p>

After meeting Lannie and Filip, it was definitely not her luckiest day. They weren't easy people to handle, especially for her. She didn't understand Lannie's intentions and with Filip…it only took his name to make her heart and mind go wild, so having him so close again was something beyond her limits.

"Fay" Gili whispered to her "Fay, you're falling asleep again"

"Hmm" Her elbows rested on the table, her hands cupping her face, which was the only thing preventing her to fall in the table while dozing off.

"Did you have any sleep last night?" Petunia asked with apprehension.

"N-not really" She replied looking down with a slight blush on her cheeks.

Petunia pursed her lips "You can't keep going like this"

"You told me to stop taking pills to sleep" She tried to use it as an excuse.

"Yeah, and I told you to stop worrying over stupid things, and I also told you to drink a tea or warm milk, there are others ways you know? So stop torturing yourself"

"I know" She spoke softly.

"Besides…" Gili said while looking at her with gleaming eyes. "Tomorrow we're going out so you have to promise to sleep tonight"

Even looking at all her energy made Fay feel more tired.

"Sure"

"Yeah…we'll need you to be fully awake tomorrow" Petunia added with a sigh, which sparked Fay's curiosity.

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Petunia tried to hide her real reasons but Fay kept looking at her inquisitively, she knew there was something else "It's Lannie…she's going too"

"What?" Fay let out a weak complain. She sighed and let her face rest on the table.

"I know, it's Toottie, they're friends, you know…"

"It's okay, we'll make sure she doesn't get near you" Gili tried to cheer her friend "We'll have a great time, don't worry"

"Okay" She smiled.

"Now, after school you'll go right to your place and get some rest, okay?" Petunia talk to her in a serious tone "No excuses, if you need anything you can call us, but there's no way you're gonna ditch us tomorrow"

"Okay~"

And as she promised, she went home after school and tried to rest but her mind was truly toying with her, because now she felt wide awake. She was tired of course, but she wasn't sleepy anymore. She tried reading, doing some homework, cleaning her room, she even saved the tea for the night, but it wasn't having the effect it had when Petunia prepared it for her, maybe she didn't do it right.

Lying on her bed, looking up at the wooden ceiling, she tried to clear her mind, how difficult it was. It was impossible; she tried counting sheep and soon found out how ridiculous was thinking it would work.

Her mom wasn't home so it was quiet, she kept tossing and turning in bed and the monotony was driving her crazy. Quiet, tired, tea, milk, that wasn't enough, what she needed were answers and she wouldn't get them lying on her bed.

She looked at the clock, it was only 10 p.m. It was going to be an eternal night again. And she wanted to know Filip's reasons, she wanted to hear it from him, why did he stop going to school? It wasn't as if she was going to stalk him because she wasn't able to get over him, she still had some dignity. And even if that was the case, Lannie stalked him all the time, or at least that's how Fay saw it. So why was it so wrong if she did it too? Not that she wanted to do it…

She pulled a pillow over her face, what was she thinking? There was no other way. She needed to know.

Rising from the bed she pulled off her pajama to put on a white long sleeved shirt, a pair of skinny blue jeans and black converse. It was chilling outside, she grabbed a thin gray sweater and dug in her closet, into the deepest, under all her clothes, where she hid Filip's black camouflaged jacket. It still smelled of the fabric softener she used. She put it on as well, and it was incredibly warm and comfortable, it reminded her so much of him that she had to shake her head to regain the course of action she was willing to take.

Putting her cell, money and keys on her pockets she went out of the house with the resolution of finding what she was looking for. She could call him, but she was afraid he would avoid her calls. His house…she couldn't remember where it was, not even a clue, that day she was too drunk to recollect the path.

Maybe it was going to be harder than she thought, but she was already determined, so there was no turning back. She promised to have a good sleep that night, so the only thing she could do was to fix what was keeping her sleep away.

She wondered in the dark. It had been raining so the streets were wet and cold. In a crossing, a car passed too near her, right into a puddle, splashing her clothes. Luckily it reached mostly the bottom part of her pants, it was freezing cold but at least the jacket still kept her warm.

Taking a deep breath she continued.

And finally she arrived. The chess park. It was actually quite surprising. It wasn't what she imagined. It was way more. More than she and her nerves could handle all at once.

'_The chess park isn't such a quiet place at night…' _He said to her one day. And it was true. But she didn't expect to see so many people gathered there.

It was a large place so there was room for all of them, it wasn't like it was crowded, it was that she expected to see 10 people at most. But there were a wide variety of groups around, some sitting on the grass; some joking and talking out loud on the tables; there was one girl dancing on a table, spinning, her eyes closed; there was also a couple, in one of the seats, the girl on his lap, straddling him, they were kissing, in such a public place, Fay blushed looking away.

It was far for being quiet, it was actually too lively compared to the view the park offered during day light. The night lamps illuminated the place. Fay looked back and the two stores across the street were open, probably the best time of day for their earnings, one of them was a liquor store, how convenient.

There were bottles of alcohol all over the place; she could smell the strong smell of weed too. Out of place was short for how she felt at that moment. The worst part was that she couldn't see Filip anywhere.

While she fiddled with the long sleeves she was wearing, a guy approached her and she didn't see him coming over.

"Hey girl"

She gasped at his sudden appearance. Though just his looks was scary enough. His eyes were barely visible through his thick messy brown hair. He was shirtless and wearing a pair of worn jeans.

She tried to talk but words failed so she just stayed in front of him staring with her mouth half open.

"Are you lost or something?" He bent a little to look at her face and she flinched at the stink of alcohol coming from him.

"I-I…I'm looking for so-someone" She said feeling uncomfortable with his closeness, thing that he obviously didn't notice or didn't care, since his next movement was to place his arm around her shoulders making her loose balance with his weight.

"Looking for someone, huh? Well, you already found someone, what do you want to do now?" He talked, his face too close to her, causing her to shift uncomfortably as she tried to get away from his breath.

"No…I-I'm looking for Fi-Filip?" Said Fay nervously, she highly regretted having get herself into that place, she was really scared.

"Filip?" He asked harshly, it was more like a growl. She flinched "What would you want with that fucker? You can have fun with me"

"I-I need to talk to-"

"Shhh" He let go of her to introduce himself "I'm Cro-Marmot"

"Wh-what?" She looked at him as if he was crazy. What kind of name was that?

'_A nickname obviously'_

She thought it was a stupid nickname, as stupid as she felt right then.

"What's your name?" He asked, holding out his hand for her. She looked at it doubtfully.

Biting down her lip, she shook his hand "F-Fay, my name i-is Fay"

"Fay…nice" Taking advantage of their nearness, he tugged from her hand, dragging her one step closer to him "So you want to have some fun?"

She tried to pull back, unsuccessfully "N-no, I-I'm just lo-looking for Filip" He made a grimace of disgust and then pulled from her hand again with a wicked grin playing on his lips.

"You're looking for Filip?" Asked a short blonde guy who passed by; he seemed like a friendly person but she still couldn't trust anyone there. She had her heart at her throat, feeling completely terrified, so she would have to take the chance.

"Y-yes, do you know him?"

"Of course" The boy said lively "C'mon man, let go of her" He said to the other guy and his features changed to a threatening face. They held each other stare for a moment and then Cro-Marmot let go of her and stomped away without saying another word.

"I'm Ka-Boom" He held out his hand for her and she took a deep breath, feeling defeated. Another weird name, from another weird person that she didn't want to touch. Though this one seemed nicer.

"I-I'm Fay" She reached out shakily and he shook his hand rapidly.

"Fay, huh?" He asked with half a smile while nodding.

"Ye-yeah, do you know wh-where is Filip?" she asked hopefully.

"No" He stated simply and she swallowed, all of that for nothing, and now she didn't even know how to get out of there.

"But we can find him for you" Said the boy with a wide smile.

"Re-really?" She wasn't really convinced she should trust him.

"Yeah, c'mon, I'm with my friends over there" He led her to a nearby table and she followed him, looking around nervously like a lost little child.

None of them seemed to notice her, and she didn't want to get their attention neither. Ka-Boom only introduced her to one of them, and she felt more uneasy because it wasn't getting her to Filip.

"Sneaky, this is Fay, she's looking for Filip" Ka-Boom said and the boy looked at her through droopy eyes. He was sitting on the table, his feet on the chair.

"H-hi" She gave him a shy smile.

"Heey" He greeted her with a nod.

"Can you believe her? She didn't get scared by Cro-marmot" Ka-Boom said while laughing.

"Really? Impressive" He regarded her with raised brows as if giving her his approval.

"Yeah, the last girl ran away when he went to her, remember? It was hilarious"

'_Last girl? What are they talking about, and why aren't they helping me to find Filip'_

"Oh, yeah…" Sneaky responded with a crocked smile "That one was pretty…too" He looked Fay up and down and she flushed bright red.

"Yeah…" Ka-Boom looked back at Fay "Don't get me wrong, I think you're better than that cocky bitch"

Her eyes wide open, she was definitely not used to people like them, she didn't get what they were talking about or why did they even want to talk to her.

"I-I…" She tried to talk again but she didn't know what to say.

"Oh, right" Ka-Boom said as if he had just remembered something important. He looked around as if expecting to see someone; Fay followed his stare expecting to see the person she was looking for.

"Hey! DB!" He yelled too loudly and Fay covered her ears as instinctive defense.

She spotted a tall boy with a weird style. He was wearing a yellow t-shirt, the first two buttons undone, his dark orange hair was a bit curly and a bit puffy too, his features made him seem a bit mature; she remembered Filip talked about him, so she was sure he was younger than he looked.

DB turned to look at him, he was with two girls, one at each side, his arms around them, he sure looked busy, Fay found the image strange. Could it be that he dated them both and they were okay with that? She felt curious about what could have got them to that kind of agreement.

"The girl is looking for Filip!" Ka-Boom yelled again pointing at Fay with his thumb and she felt her face flush red, he was so indiscreet and did he have to yell all the time?

DB regarded her with a smile but she was too focused in the humiliation she was going through.

"She didn't get scare by Cro-Marmot, like the other girl…!" He started to tell the story again and Fay wanted to disappear.

"W-wait" She tried to convey the loud boy in a weak voice, reaching for his arm, but it was useless, he was so oblivious.

She was unaware of what was going on now, she didn't know if he was really going to help her or was just making fun of her. Sneaky started to laugh. If he had been detached to her and the whole situation, he obviously found it funny now. She stared at him with pleading eyes.

"Don't worry" He said "This one here is stupid, but he'll always help you if he likes you. Besides...a friend of Filip is a friend of us"

Sneaky seemed more reliable, giving her a certain feeling of relief, but she still couldn't put away her worries. She gave him a weary smile.

She lost sight of Ka-Boom for a minute and then he was back at her side, making her move from the chair in which she was sitting, telling her to sit on the table, next to Sneaky so he could take the chair instead, and she obeyed. It was sure easy for him to get familiar with people he had just met.

He asked a lot of questions, about how she met Filip, how he was at school, what she thought about him…she did her best to give answers she felt comfortable with. He didn't give her a chance to ask many questions herself, she still didn't know what she was waiting for there, but she managed to find out 'the other girl' he was talking about was Lannie, not really surprising. He talked a lot, Sneaky only added short comments once in a while, they offered her a drink more than once and she refused it every time. Her clothes were still wet, and with the cold weather of the night, it wasn't going to get dry, she was shaking now.

"Are you cold?" asked Ka-Boom, taking her by surprise that he actually noticed something around him.

"Just a bit" She answered quietly.

"Take a sip of this, it'll warm you up" He offered a bottle of wine, she shook her head giving him an apologetically smile while he forced the bottle into her hands. She took it thinking of handing it to Sneaky later; he wasn't forceful like his friend.

While she stared down at the bottle absentmindedly, he startled her with his loud voice again.

"Look who arrived!"

Fay froze, her heart stopped, her mind stopped, and if everything she had done that night, even the last 45 minutes of waiting, were product of her stubbornness and a weird harvest of courage and determination, now sanity hit her, in a painful manner making her realize how stupid had been her course of action that night.

She looked back almost at the edge of a heart attack and turned her head again in a swift move. It was worse than she thought. It was definitely him, there was no doubt. He was wearing a sleeveless black t-shirt, black fingerless gloves, camouflaged pants, and a pair of very mud stained combat boots, his hair was tousled. The messy look suit him way too well making her feel even more nervous.

She got down of the table and handed the bottle to Ka-Boom who was now standing with a knee resting on the chair.

"I-I think I'm going now" She stuttered trying to process a quick escape route.

"What?" He asked with a puzzled expression, looking at Filip who was getting closer and back at her.

But he was faster than her, she wasn't even able to take a step away from them, when Filip harshly took her hand, making her turn around.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked while arching a brown at her, a wicked smile on his lips, and she felt all the blood being drained from her face. Finding it hard to breath, she inhaled through her mouth.

He drew nearer to her "And what the hell are you doing here?" The threatening tone made her take a step back.

"I-I…uhm…wasn't able t-to sleep" Her voice was so small that it was barely audible.

His face contorted in a way she couldn't figure out, it was part surprise, part amusement and most frightening, part anger.

"Hey, don't worry, we took good care of the girl" Said the blonde boy, who was now on the table next to Sneaky, observing them with an amused expression. She really wasn't sure he didn't enjoyed making fun of her.

They talked for some minutes, but she was too numb to pay attention. Filip thanked for taking care of her and it seemed like they were talking about a pet. They asked if he was practicing and she wondered briefly what they were talking about when Filip mentioned he had just came back from the field. She tried to put a distance between them taking advantage of his distraction, only to make him tighten his grip on her to the point it was painful.

She really felt at disadvantage and thought that his behavior was really unfair. It wasn't nice that his friends got all the laughs and gentleness of friendly Filip, while she got the worst part of his mood and was actually feeling fear for her own safety after his distraction ended.

When he was finished, walked away, dragging her behind him. She hurried to wave her hand at the boys and they nicely waved back. Ka-Boom with his usual wide smile while Sneaky looked as disinterested as one hour ago.

"It was nice meeting you Fay! Come back again!" The blonde boy shouted, and she couldn't help the smile on her lips. She asked herself if they didn't realize how bad was her situation.

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><p><strong>Until next time! <strong>

**Review! :3**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hello! ^^**

**As a said, I use too many characters, so I made up some on them :P That's it, hope you like this chapter and thank you for reviewing :3**

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><p>He practically dragged her until the sidewalk and then stopped. His stare fixed on her, expressionless. For a second she thought he was going to kiss her, instead he leaned to open the door for her.<p>

"Get in" He commanded.

She hadn't seen the parked black car, it was as muddy as his boots and pants; feeling a bit confused she looked back at him.

"Get. In" He repeated more harshly and she finally moved inside the car.

He slipped into the driver seat and reached his hand over her for the seatbelt, then secured it next to her. She held her breath every time he got too close.

He was silent for a moment, then spoke "You can keep it"

She was looking down, playing with the zip of the jacket, up and down. The jacket, that's what he was talking about.

"I don't want it" She said without thinking about it. She just didn't know how to act with him now.

"Even if you don't want it, you can keep it"

"I don't want something just because you don't want it anymore"

"It's not like that…it's one of my favorites, it just looks better on you"

Her eyes snapped to look at him, was he mocking her? The cocked smile on his lips, as if enjoying a mental joke, annoyed her more than anything. Not knowing what to think, not knowing what to say, she didn't reply.

He pulled up in an underground parking, and she didn't noticed until he opened the door to get her out of the car.

She glanced around confused, they walked in the elevator and she finally recognized the place. The thought of where they were going didn't even cross her mind, now she was at his place, and getting deeper into a more difficult situation.

They got in the apartment and he slammed the door behind him.

'_Still mad'_ She thought.

When he turned around to face her, she gasped and looked up wide eyed. Now the anger ceased and the fear came back. The shaking wasn't just by the cold anymore.

His burning eyes on her, getting closer, she gave a step back but he caught her, dragging her to his room. Tears gathering on her eyes.

Once there, he took off her jacket and put it on a small couch, next to the TV. He didn't speak; his movements harsh, his face straight. It was dark and only a few beams of moonlight leaking through the window illuminated the room, reflecting on the tears that were already making their way down her cheeks.

She wanted to say something, to talk, that's why she went through all that trouble to find him. But all her ideas were blurred now.

He wiped the tears, following the trace they left down her cheeks with his thumb while giving a step closer, then another, making her move back, until she fell on the bed. He leaned down, slowly, until he was hovering above her, her wavy hair spread at her sides on the bed.

She took a breath to speak but he hushed her just with his stare.

"Don't…" He gave her a kiss on the lips "First thing first"

And there she was again; lying on his bed, her mind helplessly lost and led by an uncontrollable desire, his lips on hers, feeling the warmth of his body close to her, the heat running through her skin. His kiss was harsh and passionate; it was intense, as always with him, as if trying to close the gap that was drawn between them, causing her to feel overwhelmed; it was fear and warmth filling her up.

He then traced soft kisses down her throat while undoing the buttons of her sweater; a small moan escaped her lips as his fingers ran down her breast and belly. And before she was even aware of it he was unzipping her jeans, and she felt unbearably uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Making a great effort to move under him, she shifted until her hands reached his, not allowing him to continue.

"W-wait" She talked out of breath.

But then she felt his strong grip around her wrists, pinning her hands over her head. She gasped and tried to free her hands from him, unsuccessfully.

He hungrily forced one more kiss on her, his tongue invading her mouth; she tried to resist him, thing that she failed every time. But the quick change of mood made her feel the horror, feel the cold again; tears falling once more. While he held her still with one hand his other hand worked on her jeans.

"N-no…wait" She tried desperately to stop him, feeling her head spinning around.

Suddenly he let go of her, drawing back so that he was kneeling between her legs to take off her shoes while she stared at him wide eyed, frozen. Her chest rising with her heavy breathing while she watched how he pulled off her pants, in a slow and torturing pace, his eyes fixed on her, hypnotizing; his fingertips brushing slightly on her skin. She could have tried to escape then, yet she didn't do it. He went back to face her, her expression of panic and confusion made him smile but his eyes were filled with malice.

He inclined his head to one side and smirked at her "We had to get you out of those wet clothes or you'd get a cold" He spoke softly. She took a deep breath, letting her head fell back, out of exhaustion.

"Now sleep, look for something to wear, we'll speak tomorrow" He said in a not so gentle tone and gave her one final kiss on her neck.

And before giving her the time to recover and articulate a response he was back to his feet, and walked out of the room, without closing the door behind him.

Fay rolled to her side. She wanted to yell and let out all her frustration. Was it his punishment for her? Was it fun for him? He was definitely going to drive her crazy if he kept teasing her, playing with her mind all the time.

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><p>There was the dream again, the one where she found herself lost in a chessboard, the shattering, the pieces, the sinking and his shade in front of her. But this time, she woke up before he saved her, while she was still drowning in the darkness; which caused her to wake up a bit shaken, taking her a moment to remember the place.<p>

A soft blanket covering her. She blushed recalling she didn't change her clothes; still on her shirt and underwear, the sleep defeated her and she fell asleep. He must have put the blanket on her.

It was still dark and she had no clue of the time, it probably was short since she dozed off. She looked for his closet in the night. Between his clothes, she found the blue pajamas from last time. She grabbed it with a nostalgic smile. After putting it on, Fay walked out of the bedroom, not being sure of what to do.

She spotted him on the couch and felt her stomach filling with butterflies. What was she going to do with him? Or more exactly what was he going to do with her? Because her determination and self-resolution against him was as steady as a dry leaf.

Walking forward she stood by his side, a faint blush on her cheeks, her heart beating rapidly. He was listening to music, his head tilted back against the couch and his eyes closed. She pulled from the headphones, causing them to fall on his shoulders and withdrew her hand quickly. He looked up, meaning he wasn't sleeping, the music was too loud and that's why he didn't hear her getting close.

She knew the song; it was 'Every Breath You Take' by The Police. Her amber eyes gazing down at him while the tune filled the silence of the room. There was a part of the song that talked about how lost he was without the other person, and how much he longed for her.

She scowled while listening at the lyrics; she had never put a lot of thought about its meaning aside from being a song about an obsession, a sickening obsession. Now she loathed it just by its meaning, it was so needy, desperate and pathetic, so similar to her.

"You don't like it?" Filip interrupted her train of thought.

"I…I don't hate it"

"You're making your 'I don't like it face'" He said with a trace of humor and she stared at him blankly, holding her feelings, the heat crawling up her face.

"What is it?" He asked in a gentle tone making her wonder if he wasn't mad anymore.

"I-I ca-can't sleep"

"Still?"

She nodded. He reached his hand at Fay, leading her to sit next to him. Her whole body was turned toward him, one of her legs tucked under the other.

He pressed pause on his phone and the silence filled the room once more.

"Someone you have to call today?" Asked the green haired boy remembering last time.

She shook her head "I have to meet my friends tomorrow though…a-around 11"

The promise of sleeping well before the trip came back to her mind, it wasn't working very well.

"In the morning?"

"Y-yes…we're going to an amusement park"

"You?" He asked raising his brows skeptically "in an amusement park?"

She felt the shade of pink on her cheeks getting darker "I-I won't be riding anything" She replied with her eyes open in horror "It's just I promised Gili and Petunia…"

His face turned serious "But there isn't any amusement park around here"

"I-It's not even two hours from here" She tried to explain and looked down, she felt the necessity of explaining herself and it made her feel ashamed, he probably didn't care.

"I don't want you to go"

She blinked at him "W-why?"

He stared at her but didn't speak, she wondered why he took her to his home and what was he thinking. But then again, she always wondered, because it was never clear what he was thinking, always a mystery for her.

"Are you gonna leave me again?" Never had her voice sounded so fragile.

"No…" He said while looking at her with a wary expression "You're gonna leave me next time"

"I-I wouldn't"

There was silence again.

"Were…you avoiding me this whole time?" She dared to ask the question in a whisper as if fearing her own voice.

"Yes"

"Then why you didn't do it today"

"Because I never wanted to do it. You don't understand…I can't help myself around you, but I resist…then you came to me, I'm not that strong, not with you"

"I…d-don't get you"

"I can see that"

"Y-you seemed to be o-okay…when you said we shouldn't be together"

"I'm really not" He looked down, holding her hand, as if repressing something, and after a sigh, he spoke "I tried to avoid this, and maybe it was already too late. It's like if I'm separated from you again, I won't be able to live." He said while stroking her cheek, his voice desperate, his eyes steady on her, and she couldn't believe what he was saying.

"I…I'm not okay" He continued as his hand fell to his side.

"I-I know"

"No you don't, not yet" A brooding expression on his face, but it didn't discourage her.

"I don't care"

"You should"

She swallowed while looking at him with pleading eyes. Why did he make everything so difficult? She wanted to be with him, and nothing else, she was begging him to understand. But she didn't realize at that moment, that he was begging her to do the same.

"Fay, you don't get anything of this situation. You'll regret it" He said in a thin voice, as if he were in pain; it was a plead, a weak plead that lost strength with every second he got closer to her.

"No I won't" She shook her head, determined.

"Believe me, you're the one who is going to want to leave me, and you'll regret all of this, because I won't give you that option, I won't let you go"

"I don't need the option"

A smile appearing on his lips, a bitter smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"For real, I don't need it"

Placing her hands in front of her, she leaned closer to him, her eyes wide and pleading, trying to convey that she was willing to be with him no matter what, and forgetting the distance between them.

"You're never careful" Said Filip with a crocked smile while pinning her against the couch in a quick move. She heard his smile, the mood lighter.

She squealed and let out a giggle. He gave her a swift kiss and helped her to stand up.

"Now, _sleep_" He accentuated the word, his eyes growing larger, not mad, but asking. She smiled, he was actually asking for something instead of making it sound like an order.

"Okay" She looked at him from under her lashes.

"So you want me to stay with you?"

She didn't understand what he was referring to, but either way, the answer was the same. She nodded.

After crawling up the bed again, she observed him intently while he took off his boots and belt and then sat next to her.

"What?" He asked and she shook her head with a smile on her lips "Go to sleep" he sighed.

Fay fell soon asleep, next to him, holding his hand, and finally, she was able to rest.

When she started to come to her senses again, hearing faint sounds in the background, she rolled on her side and the beams of light seeping through her eyelids made her open her eyes, slowly, adjusting to the day light, she raised her head, supporting the weight on her elbows. Filip wasn't there anymore.

"Oh, you're awake" He appeared at the door. He had just taken a shower, his hair was still wet.

Walking toward her he leaned down and gave her a quick peck on her lips, taking her by surprise, and smearing a few drops of water on her face.

"I'll be right back, okay?" He said lively with a wide smile.

"Wait…" He rushed out of the room before she could even speak while she wiped the water off her face. Who was that lively and beaming boy? And where was he going now?

She laughed, letting herself fall back on the bed. She wasn't tired anymore, but it was morning already and she had to check the time.

While walking over the couch to take her phone, she tripped with the long pajama pants, falling on her face; her hands reacted on time preventing a break nose. She sighed, pulling off the pants to avoid an accident.

It was just 7:45, why did he have to wake up so early. She could have some more sleep, but she didn't feel like it, dismissing the idea, she walked out of the room.

She remembered the place; she remembered it way too well. It was all white and black. The white walls were faultless. The wooden floor, shining. The space was wide and quiet empty. Next to the entrance, at the right side, there was a library with a small divan next to it; then there was an empty space, as if for a dining room; next, there was the living room, a wide black couch with a huge TV in front of it, near to the bedroom. At the left side of the entrance there was the kitchen, it had a breakfast table, and everything was so tidy. Surprising for a boy his age living alone.

His room was also pretty big and organized; there were two doors, one for the bathroom, the other one for the walk in closet. All his clothes so monothematic, black, white, gray, green, a little of blue, camouflage, and that was all, it made her laugh.

Next to the kitchen there was a spiral staircase, to a second floor, she hadn't gone there, and despite the curiosity, she decided it was better not to intrude more than she had already intruded. Instead, she walked to the library. He had a wide variety of books, there were a lot of thrillers and suspense, she knew only some of them, recognizing King, Lovecraft and Katzenbach, but she wouldn't want to go near those. That kind of stories made her feel anxious and scared. She was okay with synopsis though, that's why she was familiar with the authors.

Brushing her fingertips through the covers, she met a book without a title and took it. It wasn't a book, but an album. They were old pictures of people she didn't know. Well-dressed people on balls, fundraising parties and big houses. She finally got a look of a familiar face. It was a younger Mr. Lumpkin, he hadn't changed at all, with his goofy looks and hair, standing next to a tall man, he had blue hair just like Mr. Lumpkin but that was the only thing that resemble them, his face so intimidating that she was forced to avert her eyes from him, he was dressed as an army member, probably a high rank, his suit full with insignias. At his right there was woman, very beautiful, green long hair, wearing a black cocktail dress that suit her perfectly caressing her curves in the most elegant way. Her emerald eyes were gorgeous, she had to be Filip's mother, they had the exact same eyes.

She kept looking in the album and found Filip's mom in many other pictures, always so pretty and elegant, and always so sad, her eyes, as beautiful as they were, couldn't hide the misery behind her smile. There was a small pendant that she wore in every photo, probably a present from someone special.

At that moment, there was a click sound as the keys unlocked the door but Fay was too focused on the album photo to realize it.

A woman entered the room. Seeing the door opening, Fay looked at it, expecting to see Filip, instead, she came face to face with an unknown woman who let out a scream of surprise, bringing her hand to her heart, as if trying to settle it. Her reaction scared Fay as much as her presence, causing her to yell too, dropping the album to the floor and falling herself as she tried to give a step back.

"Oh dear, are you okay?" The woman kneeled in front of Fay. She was very attractive, her blonde long hair falling over her shoulder, she was probably in her early thirties; her clothes were simple but elegant, white button up shirt, black pen skirt and black low heels. She looked at Fay with wide eyes.

"And what are you doing here?" The woman whispered to Fay and looked around as if checking there was no one around.

"I-I…" Still on the floor, Fay stared at her, shocked, what must she said? And who was the woman in front of her? Could it be a relative? Most probably, because she opened with a key, she was still holding it in her hand, so she was someone who could go in as she wanted.

A memory came to her mind.

'_He said he like older girls…? No, no, no, that can't be' _

She could imagine a 2-3 years age difference, but a thirty year old woman? She couldn't believe it.

The women looked at her with a confused expression since Fay didn't answer. Her eyes moved to her shirt then back at her face.

"Are you okay? Nothing happened to you, right?" Now there was concern in her voice and eyes. Fay nodded rapidly.

"Are you Filip's girlfriend?"

She nodded again, how could she tell she was just a friend, the way she was dressed, how bad would she look if she said that, it was already too embarrassing, no need of making things worst.

"So he didn't…force you to come here, right?" She asked while helping Fay up and touching her face as if checking there was no fever.

"N-no" Fay finally spoke. Forced her? What was she thinking? And again, who was she?

"Oh…okay" She let out a sight "I've never seen anyone but Filip in this apartment so you surprised me, and you looked so scared…" There was an obvious relieve on her face.

"I'm okay…y-you surprised me too, that's all" Said Fay with a nervous laugh.

The woman smiled at her sympathetically "What's your name?" She asked in a gentle tone.

"F-Fay, nice to meet you…"

"Amanda, call me Amanda" She said while holding her hand at Fay.

"Good" Amanda sighed with a smile "Now…oh, sure. You must be wondering who I am" She said while brushing her silky hair behind her ear "I work at Mr. Lumpkin's house, Filip's uncle, and I come here three times a week to do the cleaning and the shopping, that kind of stuff"

"I-I see" Fay stuttered while rubbing the nap of her neck. It was awkward. "I-I'm gonna take a shower" She leaned down to pick up the album.

"Go ahead, let me, I'll put it back" Amanda said to her, taking the book from her.

Fay turned to the bedroom, looking back once more to see Amanda placing the album in place. It was somehow weird that she didn't ask for Filip.

After tying her hair up in a ponytail, Fay mentally discussed if she should shut herself up in the bedroom and wait for Filip, or go out and wonder awkwardly around the apartment in front of an unknown woman who just met her in one of the most embarrassing situations.

The enclosure would be, definitely. But after 5 minutes of looking absently at the TV and feeling uneasy, she changed her mind.

Amanda was cleaning the kitchen and raised her stare to Fay, giving her a polite smile when she entered the room.

The girl walked slowly towards the breakfast bar, sitting carefully in one of the stools.

"D-do you need any help?" She asked shyly looking how Amanda smeared a cleaning product over an already clean stove.

"Oh no, thank you, have you eaten something? I'll make breakfast for you"

"N-no, I-" While she tried to come up with an appropriate reply to refuse the offer, the person she was waiting came into the room.

"Amanda" He regarded the woman with a serious stare while walking over to the kitchen.

"Good morning" She replied with a smile.

"So I guess you already know Fay" He said while dropping a shopping bag on the kitchen.

"Yes, she's a lovely girl. I was just going to make breakfast for her"

Fay blushed slightly at the memory of their encounter.

"I'm sorry, Amanda never comes in the morning" He said addressing Fay while sitting next to her and taking her hand.

"I apologize. Mr. Lumpkin sent me early, he want you to go for lunch at his house" Amanda talked to him, clearly embarrassed and trying to excuse herself.

"He could have called" His tone was serious, but his stare didn't left Fay's eyes, looking at her in a gentle manner while holding her hand between his. The girl felt bad for Amanda, she just did what she was said to, it wasn't her fault that precisely that day Fay was in the apartment.

"I…told him that, he said there was no problem in coming earlier"

Fay looked at her and back at Filip, feeling he was being unfair and he noticed it was making her uncomfortable.

"There isn't" He said finally as he stood up.

"I'll make breakfast then" She said recovering her graceful self while taking out the things he had bought, probably to dismiss the topic "Blueberry waffles I guess?"

"Exactly, we'll be waiting upstairs"

"I'm sorry" Fay mouthed the words, giving her a last glance while Filip led her to the stairs, and Amanda shook her head with a smile.

* * *

><p><strong>Done! ^^<strong>

**If you don't know the song Every Breath You Take, this is the part that Fay listened:**

'_Since you've gone I've been lost without a trace_

_I dream at night I can only see your face_

_I look around but it's you I can't replace_

_I feel so cold and I long for your embrace_

…'

**The rest of the song says basically '**every breath you take and every move you make, I'll be watching you**' …as creepy as it sounds, is a great song :P**

**Bye-byee~**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20!**

**:3**

* * *

><p>"You really went to look for me because you couldn't sleep?"<p>

They were on their way to the bus station, she insisted in going by herself but he 'wasn't done talking with her'

"I told you" She mumbled feeling embarrassed and looking down at her hands.

"You didn't have to go there; I don't like you going there alone" He spoke with apprehension, looking ahead.

"I just wanted to…find you"

"Yeah, apparently many people are forgetting how to use a phone nowadays"

Her eyes shifted at him and then back down at her lap. He laughed "You're pouting"

"N-no, I'm not" There was the usual heat on her cheeks again.

"Seriously, one of these days I'm gonna eat you up"

She heard his words followed by a chuckled and she scowled "What?" He laughed again and she couldn't help her smile. When he laughed that way he seemed so carefree that it was contagious and refreshing, as if anything else mattered.

"Nothing…"

She thought for a moment, not knowing how to bring out the topic of Lannie. The car stopped in a red light.

"I…didn't know you have a car"

"I prefer walking"

"Always?"

"Hmm? Sometimes"

"I see…what is it so muddy?"

"It got dirty yesterday" He shrugged.

"Where were you?"

"In a rallying field"

"What?" she asked softly, not having idea of what he was talking about. Neither of them really focused in the topic.

"It's a kind of racing"

"Ra-racing?"

"Yes, racing"

"Isn't it dangerous?"

"No it isn't, there are cars for that, I don't use this one"

"But…"

"You had something else to say, right?" He said looking at her with a crocked smile, she made it too easy for him to read her.

She shrugged and after a pause, she spoke again "Is…is it true Lannie went to the chess park once?"

"Yes" He said simply, not bothered by the question, but a little surprised.

"Why?"

"I don't know, there was a time when she thought she could chase after me everywhere"

"…not anymore?" She asked shyly and with evident curiosity.

"No"

'_Really?'_ She wasn't very convinced about that.

"Have you spoken with her lately?"

"No, why?"

She could tell by his tone of voice that her questions were starting to annoy him. He just didn't like the way Fay thought about him and Lannie.

"No-nothing, I just thought…she knew some…." He turned to look at her with a frown, not getting what she was trying to say, and she averted her eyes from him "Nothing"

"She's kind of crazy, don't think about it" Said Filip, and he made it sound like it wasn't a big deal, but for Fay the weird relationship they had was something important. She still didn't understand why he had to put up with her…and her attitude, though most probably she was nicer with him. Maybe he liked the side of her that he knew.

She sighed _'So easy'_

Fay looked out the window to see the bus station; it was time to go…

"I'll…go then" She said to him, looking away from his stare.

"Okay"

His arms folded on the steering wheel, his head leaned on the back of his hand, turned to look at her, and his eyes fixed on hers.

She glanced at him for a moment. He looked so young like that, his eyes reflecting his actual age, different from the usual darkness in them. His gaze telling her not to go and she felt like she missed him already.

"I'll pick you up later"

"Th-that's not…necessary"

His expression changed, making her feel she had said something she shouldn't have.

"It wasn't a question" He stated plainly, and she nodded "Keep an eye on your phone, I'll call you"

"Yes, sir" She jokingly said, looking at him from under her lashes with half a smile. A smirk appearing on his lips.

He leaned closer but didn't touch her. His head slightly tilted to one side.

"Good" He spoke against her mouth, almost brushing her lips, his eyes still on hers.

Her breathing stopped until she started to feel dizzy. He intentionally inhaled deeply through his mouth while drawing back, reminding her to breathe. It worked, the air filling her lungs again and she blushed as he looked at her intently.

"O-okay" She said, completely disorientated "Ehm…bye"

"Bye" He said with a wide smile on his lips, clearly enjoying her bewilderment.

* * *

><p>"So…?" The blue haired girl asked her friend while sitting on a bench, her hands at her sides on the seat, her legs crossed, and her head turned to look at Fay.<p>

"So…what?" Said Fay while looking down, with Gili at her other side, feeling trapped.

"Are you guys together again?" Asked Gili with a wide smile and gleaming eyes, making Fay laugh.

"I…guess"

"You guess?" Petunia said, arching a brow at her friend, her face serious, telling her she was doing wrong.

But Fay was feeling so good that even her friend's apprehension couldn't ruin it. An innocent smile on her lips while looking at her.

"What do you want me to say?"

"At least give a proper response"

"Okay…yes" Fay finally said with a sigh.

"Really?" Gili let out a little scream of excitement "That's great!"

"Gosh, Fay, you're like a recurrent alcoholic!" Petunia rolled her eyes at her "And you…" She continued, glaring at Gili "You said you didn't like him, you were the one to say she deserves better"

"Yeah, but…" Gili shrugged "If Fay is with him he can't be that bad, and she's happy"

"Traitor" Petunia mumbled looking away from them.

"What? Don't be so stubborn"

"Okay, okay, but I still don't like him…or his luggage" Petunia said looking at Lannie. She was at the perfect distance for them to be able to see how she killed the three of them with her stare.

Fay had been trying to avoid her presence all day, pretending she wasn't even there.

"She said…something" Fay spoke looking down when Lannie caught her looking at her direction.

"About what?" Asked Petunia.

"About you…"

"Arg, what did she say?"

"…and Spencer"

"What...did she say?" Her tone wary this time.

"You were dating…?" Fay looked at her with a confused expression in her face. It was half a statement and half a question. Petunia should be the one to make it clear.

"Well…we weren't officially dating, he even introduced me to Harrie"

"But you didn't…tell me anything"

"I thought it didn't matter…are you mad?" She asked, worried.

"No, no...It's just weird, hearing about it from her"

"I'm sorry…the true is…you know I thought you liked him, I didn't want to make you feel weird about it" Petunia spoke, apologetically.

"Don't worry, it was just hard to believe…for some reason, I can't picture the two of you together" She said to her friend, making it clear that it wasn't a big deal.

"Yeah, maybe that's why it had no future, since the beginning" Petunia replied while laughing.

* * *

><p>The day wasn't as bad as she thought it would be. She spent most of the time going from candy store to candy store with Neal, trying thousands of flavors, she couldn't keep his pace obviously, but she tasted some of the colorful sweets.<p>

"No Neal, I told you, this is my second cotton candy, I'm gonna die if I eat more"

"Take it" He said while shoving it in her hands "It doesn't matter, I'll eat it when I'm finished with this one"

"And that's like your ninth cotton candy, I don't think that's healthy, how is it that you're not round shaped?" She said while laughing, his ability to eat candy was something she truly admired.

"Probably because I'm made for this, so don't nag me" He said rolling his eyes.

"Okay" She let out a sigh "C'mon, they're calling for us"

They rushed to meet with the others when her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"I'm waiting for you"

"Wh-what? Filip?"

"Yes"

"Wh-wha…but I'm still here"

"I know, I told I'd pick you up"

"You mean you're here?"

"Do you want me to go out and look for you?"

"N-no!"

After hanging her phone she ran to Gili and Petunia and told them she was leaving.

"What? Is he your father or something?"

Petunia's reaction was exactly what she expected.

"Hmm…" Gili seemed just disappointed "If you have to go now" she said with a halfhearted smile.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't know…I-I'm going" Fay spoke in a hurry and walked away from them not very convinced it was okay.

"Call me!" Said Gili as she waved at her.

* * *

><p>From then on, things were basically well. Fay managed to organize her time better, though it was hard being surprised every time with how possessive he could be. Her friends were slowly getting used to it too, though it was more difficult for Petunia, she still didn't like him at all. She said Fay was too indulgent with him, and Fay knew it was true, but she couldn't help it, she loved being with him anyway.<p>

There was no problem for Fay spending time at his place, her mom probably didn't noticed and if she did, there was no sign of her caring about it. And he loved having her around. For her it was still a bit embarrassing, so she tried to keep some boundaries between them, mostly because of Petunia's insinuations that she shouldn't spend so much time with him and some awkward encounters with a very polite and discrete Amanda.

The second floor of his house had become a refuge for her. He let her spent as much time as she wanted there, whether it was with him or alone, it was the perfect place for her.

Contrary to the first floor, the walls were dark, almost pitch black, the floor was carpeted, also in a darker color, only the skirting board in white. The access to the balcony was a picture window of the entire wall that illuminated the place during the day. There was a fireplace with several shelves of books at each side of it.

The place was basically full with books and music, the seating were poufs placed here and there, except for one wide divan next to the balcony. It was comfortable, it was warm, it was welcoming and it was quiet. Giving a peace that she didn't find in every other place. She completely abandoned Mr. Pop for this place, but she still visited Curt from time to time. Filip didn't like it, he knew what that implied, and he didn't like her near anything related with Spencer, no matter how many times she tried to convince him he didn't see her as anything but a friend, he didn't relent, forcing her to lie some times, and she hated it. Because she trusted him more than anyone in the world, and she wanted him to be able to do the same. But it was him, who drew the impenetrable barrier.

One day she was lying on the carpeted floor of her favorite place. Reading one of her favorite books which she found between his collection; The Neverending Story, a classic fantasy novel.

"I thought you only liked scary things" She said Filip, who was sitting on a pouf, against the wall, watching the fire.

"Scary things?"

"Books…books about horror stuff and suspense…"

"No, I also read things like that" He said while pointing at the book in her hands "I read that one when I was 11"

She rolled to her side, placing the book on the floor and closing it while looking at him with a pout "Well, it's not my fault that I like childish things"

He laughed "That's not childish. It's supposed to be a book for all ages"

"Whatever…I mean, while most people my age read things like The Lord of the Rings or A Game of Thrones I still squeal over Harry Potter" She said while sitting up in front of him, a hint of humor and defeat in her voice and he laughed. She was naive and innocent, and for him, she was perfect.

"Yes, because you're a little and impressionable scaredy cat, who can't handle anything" He said sitting up and leaning closer to her "And that's adorable, and that's cute…you're perfect"

"Shut up" she snapped looking at him as a wild blush crawled up her face.

"Make me" Said Filip, while drawing closer to her, a smile on his lips, his eyes tempting.

She closed the gap between them and kissed him.

"Wh-what's behind that door" She asked looking behind him, trying to shake the embarrassment off her. When she dared to kiss him, she wasn't able to look at him straight in the eye afterwards.

He looked back at the closed door behind him and then at her again.

"That…guns"

"Guns?!" She said as her eyes grew larger.

"Not real guns" He laughed "Just Airsoft guns…it's kind of like a game, or a sport…about military simulations, so we use fake guns, though they look real"

She nodded with her eyes wide, not understanding why people would play something like that.

"You sure have some weird hobbies"

"You think so?"

"Yes, I didn't know…something like that existed"

"It's not very common. I first got into it for my father…he's wanted me to join the army all his life, it was kind of training for him, and it was just a hobby for me…I don't play much now, it…isn't good for me…though I still like to collect the guns, wanna see them?"

"N-no, thank you…" She shook her head; she had absolutely no interest in that "So…y-your father…is he in the army?"

"Yes"

"Do you want to join it too?"

"No…I never wanted, I did try to enter though, it was like a month before I met you…"

He said without showing any emotion. It was getting a bit easier for her to know him; he opened up a little from time to time while she listened to his stories and met his real life and history. When it happened, there were scarcely some few times she could truly find any emotion in his eyes while talking about it, aside for the obvious nuisance that the topic represented.

"And what happened?"

"After a psychological test, they said I couldn't be accepted" He said with a sneer "A huge disappointment for him" He turned to look at her with cautious eyes. Admitting something like that was basically implying he wasn't mentally stable, and he was afraid she would run away from him at any moment.

She felt the bitter feeling on his words and wondered if it would be okay to ask more about it…she really wanted to know about him. Finally deciding it was better to drop it for the moment.

* * *

><p>"Faay~ You have to keep it"<p>

She was looking at her image on the mirror while listening to Gili's pitch voice. Observing, an outfit they convinced her of trying on.

The dress, it was too short, too tight on her breast, and the high heels…she couldn't understand how they made her use those ones.

They were looking for a dress; all courtesy of Petunia's obsession on getting the clothing for an event that was two months away, which for Fay, was way too far for consider it an emergency.

On top of that, she was trying a dress that didn't have anything to do with the search of the day. They ended up buying everyday clothes.

She wasn't a person who liked to spend a lot, and there wasn't much more on her house for her than the exact amount of money to cover her basic necessities. But she still had the support of her grandmother, her name was Adeline and she was the only memory of real family Fay had.

When she got tired of Fay's mother abuses of the help she used to lend them both, she stopped giving them money, and so Fay was dragged away from the only relative she loved. But Adeline wouldn't abandon her, never. She created a bank account for her precious grandchild, from which Fay received money every month. She didn't need that much, she tried to convince her grandmother it was an unnecessary expense for her, but she wouldn't listen, Fay was her pride, which the girl never understood, given that she always underestimated her own qualities. In the end, she saved most of the money, her mother of course knew nothing about it, but there was no harm in spending some from time to time.

Fay gazed again at the mirror, tilting her head, her hair falling to her side. It was kind of pretty. A gray jumper dress, with a white long sleeved top underneath, black tights that went up to her middle thigh, meeting with the hem of the dress, and black high heels. She may like it…but the high heels were out of question.

The red haired girl turned around to face her two friends, letting out a sigh.

"Really" Petunia said while nodding with a bright smile "You have to keep it, it looks incredibly cute on you"

"It's too short" She whined while leaning to hold the hem of the dress and stretch it a little "And the high heels…" She shook her head.

Petunia pursed her lips but then smiled "Then what are you going to wear?"

Fay looked at her pair of converse next to her friend.

"My converse"

"Okay, it'll look good too" Said her friend, waving her hands in the air, as if giving up "You should try it without the tights"

"No way, this is too short"

"Is not that short"

"It's really pretty Fay, besides you're not going to jump around while wearing it" Gili said trying to convince her.

"I know…"

"Great! Wear it tomorrow" Gili clapped her hands together, then grabbing the top she chose and hugging it over her chest with a happy smile.

"Wh-why tomorrow?"

"So we can all wear our new clothes, we can go to the movies after looking around some more"

Fay looked at her and then at Petunia who let out a sigh.

"You know her" Said Petunia while shaking her head.

* * *

><p>She stayed at Filip's that night. The next morning she wore the dress as she promised, and after looking at her in the mirror for about 15 minutes, being less convinced about the outfit every time, she decided it was better not to think about it anymore.<p>

Her hair falling freely on her back, her fringe brushed to one side, and a few strands of her hair held by a silver pin over her right ear.

She went out of the bedroom and didn't saw Filip, she hadn't shown him her new clothes, and was feeling really shy about him seeing her dressed like that.

She sneaked to the couch and turned on the TV, there was still no sign of him, if he wasn't upstairs he probably went out.

After picking a movie to watch, she relaxed for a moment, he probably was out. Then she heard his steps on the stairs and she sighed, trying to overcome her self-consciousness.

Her head was tilted back against the couch and her legs stretched out in front of her. She turned to look at him and he stood next to her, looking at her up and down, a wary expression of his face, she thought seeing a ghost of a smile on his lips but she wasn't sure. He didn't spoke.

"Aren't you going to sit?" Asked Fay while moving to one side, making room for him and trying to hide the blush on her cheeks.

He smiled at her and sat, being quiet and watching the movie for about five minutes, not paying much attention to the girl next to him. It made her feel nervous.

Looking at him, she bit on her bottom lip, it was getting awkward.

"I…I want to show you something"

"Really?"

"Yes" The girl said with a gleaming smile "It-It's on my phone" She reached over his lap for her bag that was on the little table next to him, her belly resting on his legs while she looked for her cellphone.

"Fay, what are you doing?"

"Oh, don't be whinny, you're not gonna say I'm heavy, are you?" She said mockingly while letting out a chuckle.

"No…" He said and she couldn't see his amused expression "But you do realize how short is this thing you're wearing, right?"

Fay froze as she felt his fingers caressing on the back of her knee and going up slowly to her inner thight. She swallowed and sat back, kneeling on the couch, looking at him with wide eyes and clutching the hem of her dress.

"Wh-wh-why did you do that?" She blushed harder than ever, mentally cursing her obliviousness.

"Why?" The boy repeated, his elbow resting on the back of the couch, his face cradled in his right palm "I like to touch you"

"Why…?" The question escaped her lips before she could think about anything else.

"Hmm, because you're soft"

"Soft?" She looked at him skeptically.

"Yeah…like a puppy"

"Like a puppy?" She narrowed her eyes at his smirking face "I…I don't even know what to say about that. Y-you're delusional"

"If you had a fluffy pet, wouldn't you like to touch it?"

"Now I'm fluffy…" She said waving her hand in the air and rolling her eyes, turning her attention back at the TV.

"It was an example"

"What a terrible example, I'm not a pet…" Said Fay trying to hold her smile at how ridiculous were his words, and then her eyes shifted back at him with a grave expression on her face "…am I?"

"Are you truly asking me that?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I…don't know"

"I wish you were" He said with an unreadable expression, confusing her.

"You wish?"

"Too weird?"

She nodded.

"Then don't think about it"

"But…why?"

"Because that way I could be able to do whatever I wanted with you"

"You already do" She spoke softly, in a whisper.

"Oh no, I don't" He said while laughing and she felt baffled.

He dropped the topic, assuring her he was joking, and she finally was able to show him the pictures of the dresses she tried on for the so anticipated school dance, he picked his favorite and she decided for it. It was dark blue, and she liked it too, so it was decided.

"I think I'll buy it today"

"Really?" Said Filip almost as if he hated the sound of her words. She thought it was just her imagination.

"Yeah…I'm meeting with Gili and Petunia, in about…two hours" She said while looking at the hour on her phone.

"And you're thinking of going out like that?" He asked, as his eyes went up and down her dress.

"Y-yes" She looked down at her clothes again "Why?"

"No way" He stated, his eyes showing a dark expression that made her feel a stitch of pain in her chest.

"Do I look that bad?"

"You don't, but you're not going out wearing that short dress"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll wear the tights" She said while looking down, feeling a mix of shyness and relief.

"I said no" He stood up.

"What?" Still kneeling on the couch, she looked up at him, stunned.

"You heard me" He turned his back on her and she rushed to stand in front of him.

"Y-you can't tell me…what to wear"

He stopped, gazing down at her, glowering.

"I'm doing it. And you're gonna listen to me!" There was threat on his voice, which made her give a step back, her breathing heavy.

"Do you hear how irrational you're being right now?" She spoke softly, trying to make him understand. But his expression didn't change the slightness. Her face contorting with anger and pain. She walked away from him but he pulled form her hand, making her turn around.

"Don't-you-talk-back at me little Fay" Said Filip through clenched teeth, grasping her face with his hand harshly, making her wince in pain. Tears forming in her eyes.

"I-I didn't! …d-don't do this…please" She begged, her voice thin.

"I can't stand the way you are behaving. I can't stand the fact that you don't obey me, and I can't stand the idea of anybody else looking at you" He let go of her, almost pushing her off-balance.

"You're not being fair, I-I'm not doing anything wrong"

"I don't want to listen to you"

"D-don't be mad, ple-please" She asked him weakly while watching him walk to the door.

He turned to look at her "Shut. Up. I don't want to listen to you anymore!" He walked out the door.

"Don't go!" she cried, chasing after him as he slammed the door. She leaned her forehead against the door, letting her body fall slowly, her hands holding on the doorknob. That's when she heard the keys locking the door at the other side.

She gasped "No, no! Don't do it, don't let me in here!" She screamed as her fists hit the door. He was already gone, ignoring her pleads.

"Don't!" She fell to the floor, her head tilted back against the door. Not understanding why everything changed so much in just seconds.

She called to his phone, roughly wiping the tears off her reddened cheeks. But there was no answer. Now what filled her was anger.

She ran upstairs, and sat on the floor, her back against the divan.

After clearing her throat and taking a deep breath, she dialed Gili's number.

"Hello, Gili…"

"I can't make it today"

"No, no, I'm okay, I just can't go. Talk you later, okay? Bye"

She hung up before Gili could ask more questions and turned off her cellphone. What an awful turn of events.


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi everyone! ^^**

**Finally chapter 21...It was ready since a while ago, just hadn't find the time to update :P**

**Thank you all for your lovely reviews! x3 (**even the one who doesn't like the FlippyxFlaky :P I have to say, I'm definitely not into the FlippyxGiggles, I'd much rather the FlippyxPetunia ...but anyway, you actually gave me a good idea, because I needed a slutty girl for another story I'm writing, so I think I'll use Giggles for that. xD** )**

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><p>She sat in front of a recently lighted fireplace, hugging her knees against her chest. It worked with gas so it was easy to handle for her. She was not cold, the air conditioner was enough, but she liked to simply sit on the floor, watching the fire. Though that was a lie.<p>

It was _him _who liked to sit watching the fire, she hadn't understood that fascination he had. If it was about wasting time in thought with which may seem a meaningless action in others eyes, she found more enjoyable lying on the carpeted floor and staring out the picture window, up to the sky.

Now that the anger was filling her being, she began to understand the wonder of staring into the glowing fire. It was a feral and erratic dance that didn't stop. It was as if small living flames leapt and bounced in joy, then turning into an infuriating madness which drove them to move even more wildly.

Its endless pace soothing her own rage, as if it burned instead of her, driving away all the cholera from her body.

She didn't want to cry anymore, it was useless. And ironically, the only thing she wanted was being with him, feeling his arms around her again. No matter what he did, it only made her feel she needed him more than ever. It was his spell working in her mind, making her his puppet. And she willingly would accept it because it was the fright of being away from him, what overpowered every other feeling and fear.

Time passed without her noticing it, and when she became aware of it, the clock struck one o'clock. The two hours were already gone. By that time she would be having lunch with her friends. She just sighed, not being able to be mad anymore. The current problem was what to eat.

She went down to the kitchen. While peaking inside the fridge, a revengeful and playful thought crossed her mind. What if she burned down his kitchen accidentally as she tried to make lunch. It would be entirely his fault. He unjustly locked her in and she had to eat. It was always him or Amanda the ones to cook; he knew it was an impossible task for her.

Clearly it was just a mindless fantasy to add some humor to her own thoughts. She wouldn't do something like that. If anything, she was more careful with his belongings than with everything else.

There was no use on thinking more, no matter how many ingredients she found she would never be able to make a complex meal. She would have to conform with ham and cheese sandwich, like many other times, at her house, because her mom wasn't someone who would care about having her daughter well fed, so she was used to the easiness of ham and cheese, although lately, she had been spoiled. Amanda was great at cooking but it was Filip who made the most delicious dishes making her feel utterly dissatisfied with a simple sandwich.

After she finished eating and cleaned the dishes, she found the emptiness of the apartment suffocating. She could almost hear her heartbeats among the silence that consumed the place. And it scared her, it scared more than she would have thought. Fear suddenly roaming through her whole body, her fingertips getting cold and anxiety filling her mind.

She walked slowly, up to the second floor, feeling aghast by the echo of her footsteps on the wooden flat. Sitting next to the fire again, she grabbed her phone from the place where she had left it and after turning it on she dialed his number, only to be startled by the vibrating sound on top of a desk behind her. There, next to the laptop was his cellphone.

She gulped looking down at her shaking hands, feeling lost, and hating the sensations that were filling her. It was getting more and more intense, now that she found herself cornered in the loneliness. The last couple hours had being occupied with her rage, the fire and then when she calmed, she got more aware of the fact that he locked her and the claustrophobia started crawling on her senses.

As a last resort she picked his cellphone and searched through his contacts. Amanda could help her, she knew she would do it, and if she weren't so desperate Fay wouldn't bother any person for such futile matter, but it was deadly dread what she was feeling, and Amanda had keys of the apartment. Unfortunately, she couldn't find her number, he didn't have it.

Fay sat down again, tapping her foot on the floor; the silence was like thousands of ghosts drifting around her, the slightest breeze making contact with her skin made her jump to look around like a maddened person. It was paranoia, delusional thoughts of sounds and things that weren't actually there.

With slow and erratic movements she reached for the laptop and turned on the music. Picking something soothing and soft, something that made her forget about the quiet, non-existing sounds that reached her ears. She then plugged the speakers and heard how the music filled the entire space around her, deciding on the spur of the moment that what she needed was a deafening volume, so she wouldn't be able to hear even her own thinking. She turned up the volume to its maximum.

The girl sat on the middle of the room as the tune surrounded her, Four Seasons by Vivaldi. It wasn't quiet anymore, all the stillness deflected away as she tried to concentrate on every flowing note, on the striking of the strings joining together on a smooth and elegant melody.

She inhaled deeply through her mouth, settling her raising heart, letting the air reach her brain so she could think more lucidly. Its effect was almost cathartic, although it only lasted some minutes, then her head turned all over the place with harsh movements, to see nothing. It was probably just some static electricity traveling through the air, which she was aware of due to her sensitive senses. All of that, caused by the anxiety that created irrational delusions inside of her mind.

It went on like that for about thirty minutes, her eyes shifting from one spot to another, not being able to find complete tranquility. Until in the middle of _Winter,_ her eyes snapped to the spot next to the stairs, finding a figure standing straight there, looking at her. She gasped, backing away, though she was far enough. It took her about ten seconds to recognize him.

Filip observed all her gestures. Her hands flat on the floor, her chest swelling with heavy breathing, her watery eyes enlarging as she looked at him, and the size of her pupils reducing as her mind processed his familiar face.

She looked like a small animal lost in fear before its death. The boy didn't dare to make a single movement or sound; her sole frightened image scared him and at the same time sparked some hidden emotions from the back of his mind, in which he didn't want to think.

From her lips escaped a small sound, it was a soft cry of relief that he didn't catch over the music.

Standing up, she ran to him, throwing her arms around his neck. He embraced her as their bodies collided, loosing balance and reaching one of his hands behind him to the wall, for support. He then leaned against it and fell onto the floor slowly with her in his arms, his face buried in her hair and his hands feeling the echo of the sobbing on her back.

They stayed there quietly, comforting each other. She was sitting between his legs, her face hidden on his neck, her breath caressing on his skin smoothly. The music ended and the silence came back, but she didn't even noticed, it was just him and his warmness providing consolation to her heart.

He was lost in thought about how much he could hurt her before breaking her apart or before she realized she didn't deserved it. But it was true he couldn't live without her, without her sweetness. How could he not love her with every fiber of his being, when he caused her pain and yet she ran to him as if he were the greatest thing that could happen to her the same moment he came back? _She_ was the greatest thing in his life, and he still was stupid enough to make her cry.

He knew it would be like that, he always knew it. And he didn't care if he was fiend, he didn't care if he was meant to decay in hell; but dragging her along with him, was beyond all evildoing, it was a repugnant thought that made his heart cringe in pain, causing him to tighten his hug around her delicate shape.

After a sigh she drew back, creating a small distance between their bodies, looking up at his eyes "I'm tired" She spoke in a whispering voice.

He ran his fingertips through her face, touching her half-closed eyelids, her cheeks stained with dry tears and her red, tender lips "I'm sorry" He said while leaning his forehead against hers. Then, running a trail of kisses from the corner of her eye to the corner of her mouth, he repeated "I'm sorry" And she smiled shaking her head, it was all forgotten.

"Don't leave me alone again"

After everything he demanded from her, and that was the only thing she asked, which was somehow absurd because that was the last thing he wanted to do, get apart from her.

He stared down at her, deadpan, and it was the kind of earnest stare that she wasn't able to hold for long, making her heart quicken. She nuzzled against his chest so she didn't have to look into his eyes.

"No, never…" He closed his eyes as he drank in her sweet scent; it was silky and intoxicating, almost addictive, like it was enough to live. He sensed her arms around him and his whole body wished for that moment to never end. There could be an entire universe out there and the only thing he needed was her, her utter and absolute perfection, the smoothness of her flawless skin, the warmth of her lips and the sparkle of her heart.

She shifted slightly and her breathing was becoming profound and heavy, she was falling sleep. He pressed his lips on her forehead "Fay, open your eyes, you should sleep in the bed"

She mumbled some incoherent words and blinked through heavy eyelids. A smile appeared on his lips.

"Let's go" He uttered in a low voice.

"I wanna stay here" She said stubbornly, raising her head a little to gaze up at him through her lashes.

He chuckled at her childish behavior. How could be that she was already okay with him. She was mad, really mad when he left her; he saw it perfectly clear in her eyes. Now she was acting as if anything happened, as if she was happier than ever just by being there with him.

He sighed "You're supposed to be mad at me" He stated with a doleful expression, her brows knitted together as if for one moment she didn't understand what he was referring to.

"Oh, I'm…not" There weren't many things she could say to explain herself, she knew it was irrational. Actually, everything about that day was irrational, his and her behavior, and mostly, her fear. But even if everything was unfounded, if their actions and feelings may seem foolish to any normal person, she already accepted it, loved it. And he still couldn't understand, blinded by her naivety he still thought she didn't comprehend where she was standing; when in reality, she had already embraced all the craziness that being with him represented.

"But…" She said as her fingers twisted fidgety with the hem of his jacket.

"Yes?"

"You were…all freaked out by this dress, yet you chose a short dress to the dance thing"

There was a silence that seemed longer that it took, and she didn't dare to look up. The last thing she wanted was to trigger another fight.

"That's because that day I won't be leaving your side at any time"

She blinked at him, a gleam of joy reaching her eyes "So…that means you're going with me?"

For the whole last week, all she had being trying to do was to convince him of assisting to the event with her. And she was actually starting to give up, because it truly seemed like there was no way of changing his mind. And at the same time, that was his subtle manner of persuading her of not going, so it had been a constant passive battle in which each of them tried to induce their idea in the other.

"There's no helping it I guess" He said finally, admitting his surrender.

She squealed in happiness, throwing her arms around his neck once again.

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><p>It had been a week since the dress incident and she just couldn't bring herself to tell her friends all the truth. But the typical 'it was just a stupid fight' worked well enough, and it was more truth than any excuse she could have thought up.<p>

And the after effects were actually quite satisfactory. Filip was being really compliant with her, so even the dress issue wasn't a problem anymore. However, after one week delay, Petunia was at the verge of a panic attack. It was almost comical how Fay could compare her psychotic symptoms with her friend's outburst because all the pretty dresses were going to disappear from one day to another. It was basically an obsession, which made Fay wonder if there wasn't anyone completely sane around her.

So after the shopping was done, the calm returned and Petunia was able to breathe again, visibly pleased.

"Fay…" Petunia said her name as she sipped from her blueberry milkshake. She was leaning against the rail, the bag containing a pretty black and blue strapless dress hanging from one of her hands as the other was occupied with the cup, her eyes moving around absentmindedly from the illuminated ads to the highlighted offers in the stores.

"Yeah?" She was sitting on a bench with Gili, taking a rest; although the day hadn't been as chaotic as she thought, and the choosing of the dresses had been quite simple too; her friends knew well what they wanted and Filip helped her with her decision, so it was easily done.

Petunia didn't say anything else so she looked up at her side to find blue sparkling eyes staring down at her. A strange uneasiness traveled through her body as Petunia's lips curled into a playful smile.

She shoved Fay to move with her hips, making room for her to sit next to her friends.

Gili knew way too well that tone of voice, it was going to be torture for Fay, but when Petunia used it, it always turned out in a rather interesting conversation so she stared attentive at what she was going to say.

"You can't really expect me to think nothing has happened between you and your lovely boyfriend?"

Fay frowned a little, since a couple of things didn't sound correct on that question. And it wasn't the sly tone she used at pronouncing the word _lovely,_ which wasn't a surprise, given that her hate towards Filip was more than tangible. Strangely enough, it was the _boyfriend_ which didn't fit in Fay's mind, feeling it completely foreign from her vocabulary. If there was the need to name their relationship, she guessed it would be that they were boyfriend and girlfriend, it was like an unwritten rule, though she wasn't sure if one of them was supposed to ask to the other for that kind of commitment, since she had never been in love, let alone being involve with someone to that extend; and if that was the case, nobody asked the question, and she didn't feel the need for it either. The other thing was the course of the conversation; she thought they weren't going to wonder any more about the fight, it was old story; there was nothing else to say.

She sighed "I told you it wasn't a big deal"

Gili let out a little puff then cupped her mouth with her palm when Fay turned to look at her with a puzzled expression. She giggled and shook her head at Fay indicating she shouldn't pay attention to her.

"I wasn't talking about that…" Petunia said turning to face the oblivious red haired girl sitting at her side.

"Then what?" Fay asked impatiently. No wonder Gili got mad every time they laughed at her.

"I was talking about _sex_" The word lingered on her tongue longer that it should, echoing in Fay's mind and making it as clear as possible. She looked at her side taken aback by the twist in the topic as her mind put the pieces in place, realizing what her friend was talking about; apparently the word sex didn't unchain any direct meaning for her.

"Oh…" She nodded a little, still in the middle of a slow process "Wh-what?" She suddenly reacted, her face becoming redder as her eyes grew larger.

"Well?" Asked Petunia casually.

"Nothing's happened" She hurried to say while looking down and fiddling with her fingers. It was a subject completely out of her comfort zone.

"Nothing at all?"

She shook her head while gazing around, afraid that someone would listen to their conversation, it would be truly embarrassing.

"But you're always at his place" This time was Gili's high voice that reached her ears, implying that just that fact was proof enough of how much their relationship had advanced.

"S-so what?"

"So what? Well, at least he must have tried something" Petunia answered using a soft and full of curiosity tone of voice. She wasn't trying to be rude or to intrude in her life, but she found fun in that kind of topic, and she wanted Fay to trust them more.

"It doesn't have to be like that" Her thin voice replied almost too low, making her think they probably didn't hear it.

"She's right…" Gili affirmed after a pause "I mean, how long have you being dating, probably one month or so…I wouldn't rush things either" She looked at her side with her usual wide green eyes, Fay just nodded at her in approval, what else could she say, she hadn't thought about that before.

"That's true, but it's not about the time, is about how they act, you've seen them, they don't act like the innocent high school sweethearts but like a recently married couple" Petunia let out a chuckle and her words only confused Fay more. Gili shrugged; for her, they appeared to love each other, nothing else, she wasn't as keen with people's behavior as Petunia.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"I don't know, it's like…I can't deny you seem to like each other, but, it's more…intimate"

Fay bit on her index finger while frowning at the floor. She couldn't image how they looked like being together in front of other people, but she found it just ordinary, like any other couple would behave, she had even seen it and there wasn't much of a difference. The most obvious thing was that they held hands, but she had seen many couples doing the same and even more.

Seeing she wasn't getting any response, Petunia spoke again "And I'm not talking about the making out or anything like that…" She said, as if she had just read her mind "but the way you behave with each other…maybe that's what people call chemistry"

"I-I don't get what you're talking about b-but…it's true that nothing has happened" Said Fay still not daring to look up.

She knew there had been more than a couple of heated kisses, and maybe he crossed some boundaries a few times, but that was about it, the situation never ended in more than a simple kiss and his teasing.

"So you sleep in different rooms when you stay at his house?" Asked Petunia mockingly while wearing a wide smile on her lips.

"N-no…we do sleep together" The read haired girl turned her stare to one side, finding Gili looking at her with wide eyes, then to the other, to see Petunia who just laughed, seemingly surprised "B-but that's all!" She voiced in a higher tone than she intended.

"Wow…so the guy actually has a good thing about him" Petunia said arching her brows a bit in awe since she had him in the worst concept.

"Is that good?" Fay asked a bit amazed that it changed Petunia's perception of him.

"Sure, it's because he respects you…and doesn't press you to do anything. You know, guys always do things like that, and it's annoying that most of them only think about satisfying themselves" She stared at the floor while placing the empty cup and the bag at her side and then turned to look at a pair of genuinely honest and big amber eyes "Though I feel kinda sorry for him" She said pursing her lips, holding her smile.

"Wh-why?" Asked Fay, finding Petunia's expression somehow funny, causing her to laugh.

"I'm just joking" She said lively, throwing her arms around her neck, hugging her and rubbing her cheek against Fay's "You're so cute that I want to squeeze you"

All she could see in Fay's eyes was a pool of a pure and authentic soul, and if he truly loved her, she could understand how he felt, and maybe justify a little, though just a little his overprotectiveness, however, it still remained in a possessive kind of attitude on his part. Fay was fragile, it was her most evident feature and what would make any person to adore her, so having the responsibility to make her happy must be hard for him. Even so, she still didn't like many things about him.

"He-hey!" Fay whined as she giggled.

Gili laughed joyfully along with them, staring up at the illuminated ceiling and squinting at its light. She wanted to support her friend too, but not wanting to add more pressure into her, she secretly was afraid of losing her, afraid that he would take her away from them.

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><p><strong>It wasn't much of an advance but I hope you liked it :3<strong>

**Until next chapter!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hello again ^^**

**Thank you all for your reviews :33**

**Dashi** Of course I remember you ^^ you're always so nice. I'm really happy you still like the story that much :3 and I have to admit that even though I love your reviews they also make me feel kind of insecure because I start thinking I won't be able to fit your expectations every time you praise my story :P anyway , thanks again for your support! ;3

**Peace1331** Dunno :P according to the internet, it is. It is also a city in, and the county seat of, Stewart County, Georgia, United States. The population was 1,369 at the 2000 census. (Wikipedia)

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><p>"Fay, help me with this, pleasee" Gili said to her friend using her best puppy eyes and pouting. The cause of all of it was the paperwork she had to carry to the principal's office as a punishment for chatting during math class. It caused the red haired girl to laugh.<p>

So persuasive. Does that really work with everyone else? Fay thought.

And not receiving an immediate response, Gili tried again. "Pleaseee" She begged in a high pitched tone of voice and Fay laughed more, that was totally not necessary, but Gili was kind of an impatient girl and her desperate actions were something funny to witness.

"Sure, I'll help you" Fay replied rolling her eyes. It wasn't much of a punishment if she received help; in fact, it wasn't much of a punishment at all, since it was only a small number of papers. Information every student had to fill for the Parents Association. Gili only gave the teacher a reason to impose on her a task he didn't want to do. But it wasn't a bother to help so Fay gladly did it.

After dividing into two parts the pile of paperwork the whole class had previously filled, they walked down from the third floor to the principal's office. Class had ended early so they had at least fifteen minutes before next period.

"Good morning girls" The secretary welcomed them brightly with an overjoyed greeting. Her name was Melissa, a chubby perky woman in her mid-forties with curly dark hair, light blue eyes and rounded face who you'd always find eating some snacks on her desk. A really nice person with every student and a committed worker from what Fay could see "What brings you around here?"

"Hi Missy!" Said Gili wearing a wide smile. As friendly as always, she seemed to be acquaintance literally with everyone at school. If there was something notable about the pink haired girl it was her charisma. She could talk about anything with anybody and get along with them easily. It was really cute that Gili was so nice, Fay thought. But she could never be able to be like that, she couldn't handle the idea of having to talk with every person she met. Maybe she was too unfriendly or maybe she was just too shy, probably a mix of both; anyway, she didn't bother about that kind of stuff anymore. For the first time on her entire life she was at a point in which she felt actually comfortable around the people she called friends, or at least with most of them, and that made her really happy, even if it seemed like a simple matter, because for her was a first.

The door at their left opened slowly, the one with the name of the principal printed on the frosted glass. A slightly disheveled Mr. Lumpkin came out of the office with his usually askew tie and a letter on his hands.

"Melissa, I need you to send this information today" The man spoke in a serious tone, not taking notice of Gili and Fay's presence for a moment as his eyes were down reading on the paper he was holding.

"Oh, good morning ladies" Said the men as he finally turned to look at them.

Gili replied with her usual vivacity, but keeping the boundaries of respect since he was a person with enough authority to be intimidating, even if he didn't inspire anything near that it was still an obvious fact, and as friendly as the pink haired girl was, she still knew how to be discreet when it was required.

Fay on the contrary, stuttered a shy greeting as she looked downwards.

"Fay"

After interchanging some words with Melissa he called her name while looking at the girl from over his glasses, wearing a calm expression. He wasn't a frightening person, despite his position. But she was still incredibly daunted by him, no matter how nice and harmless he looked or tried to be, there was something about him which made her uneasy.

"Ye-yeah?" She looked up startled by his call "…sir" Her nervousness making her forget about her manners, which only turned everything to be more embarrassing than necessary.

He smiled warmly while handing the letter to his secretary and turning his attention at the young girl "May I have a word with you?"

She acknowledged his polite tone as the words spun around the room finally meeting her ears. The girl hesitated for a moment, incredulous of his request, then her eyes grew wider and she gulped. Why could he want to talk to her? She hadn't done anything wrong, and she didn't remember having any unfinished business with the school principal, so there was only one option left.

"Y-yes" She said and nodded at the same time, a bit lost in the situation, between her loud thoughts and her greatest effort to focus in reality.

"Don't worry. It doesn't have to do with the academic" Said the man with a pleased smile, as if thinking it would make her feel more relaxed about talking with him.

_Great. _Nothing to do with the academic wasn't what she wanted to hear, she actually wanted it to be about the academic. She turned to look at Gili who was standing still, wearing a wary expression on her face, as if expecting for her friend to tell her something, maybe let out a cry for help, so she could act. The waves of tension on Fay so obvious that it made her worry.

"G-go ahead, I'll catch up with you later" Said Fay in a thin voice, receiving a single nod as a response.

"…Okay" Gili said before turning her attention to Melissa again.

Fay entered the room while Mr. Lumpkin held the door open for her. Then the door closed behind him and Gili let out a sigh of compassion. Her friend had to learn to be stronger, but still, the situation she was into at that moment would be awkward for anyone.

"Please, take a seat" Said the tall man while walking behind his wide desk and sitting in the leather chair.

After taking off his glasses, he placed them on the desk with slow movements "So tell me, how you are doing with the studies and the new school?" He spoke, his stare focused on the glasses frame as he caressed the material slightly with the tip of his fingers.

"F-fine. Everything has been…good" Said the girl while watching attentively how he played with the object on his desk, it was somehow distracting, and if her mind was pleading for something, it was a distraction, though she knew it would be a mistake letting her mind to drift away and not paying attention to what was happening right then.

"I've heard you're spending some quality time with my nephew" He said a bit jokingly as his eyes turned up to look at Fay, not trying to be harsh on her, but trying to lighten up the mood. Little he knew that his words were having the opposite effect, making her more nervous and embarrassed.

She swallowed hard, followed by a failed attempt of a reply as she felt the heat crawling up her face already, stinging in the back of her ears "Ahm…yeah, I-I…"

"Don't worry, Amanda has told me pretty much what I need to know"

'_Wh-what? What does that mean' _She thought and felt instantly betrayed by Amanda, she really liked her, she looked like a reliable person, so why did this woman had to open her mouth? Moreover, it was worrying that she had said more than necessary.

"Now you tell me, how do you feel?" His soothing voice reached her as she tried to distract herself from the inconvenient situation. Her eyes rambled around the room's walls. There were some pretty paintings, mostly abstract and colorful works. Even if art wasn't a field of her experience, they had some appeal to them. A framed diploma caught her attention suddenly; Mr. Lumpkin had a major in psychology. Who would have thought? He had more facets than expected; Filip had told her that he used to be an English teacher in that same school, then, he made it to gain the direction of the place, there was also the family business, which she still didn't know what it was about; and the last finding, he was a psychologist; pretty impressive and unexpected.

"F-fe-feel?" She stuttered as her attention was dragged back to the topic at hand. What was he asking again?

"I mean if you're okay. Are you two getting along?"

"Yes…I-I'm okay"

"I'm glad to hear that and I have to say I'm grateful that you accepted him in your life" A wide smile and gleaming eyes were directed at her and she just nodded while shifting about uncomfortably on the seat "From what Amanda told me and from what I've seen, I think you're the kind of person he needs to have around him"

She looked at him a bit puzzled; it was weird enough that the principal called her to talk about non-academic matters, now, was his only purpose to thank her for dating his nephew? That was even weirder, she thought, let alone completely unnecessary.

Seeing she had nothing to add, he continued "You know, the boy had been through some things in his life, mostly with his mother. I know every person deals with their own problems differently, but her death really affected him. It actually changed him a lot" He continued speaking calmly, he might not be the most responsible and serious person in the world, but when he had something important to say, he could be really sensible. Or at least he tried, because being immersed in his speech, he didn't notice that he was talking more than necessary or Fay's surprise.

It was as if for a second the air had got stuck on her throat and she required of great effort to make it circulate again to her lungs. She had no idea Filip's mom was dead. She only knew he didn't have much relation with his parents and that was all. There was no way for her to know, but she would like to be aware of that kind of things, mostly if it was something that affected his life so much. If only he spoke a little more about his life. She guessed there wasn't enough trust yet.

"It got into him in a lot of ways. Driving him to make some mistakes and take some wrong choices. And his father…well, my brother isn't someone to easily accept mistakes, but there are still more important things for him, like his status" The blue haired man continued while he looked down. His right elbow rested on the table as his middle finger and thumb caressed his temples, drawing a pattern of invisible circles. It was somehow an indication of that part of the story being something hard for him to digest. "I know, I know…" He cooed with his eyes closed as he shook his head "He's not a very caring person and his priorities aren't the most benevolent. But I'm not the one to talk to you about these things" His eyes finally snapped up to meet wide pools of amber staring at him with attention. A smile on his lips "What I intend, is to make you see Filip is a good boy despite his hard exterior"

"I-I know" She hurried to say raising her eyebrows a little and blinking twice. That wasn't something she needed to be reminded of; if she didn't believe in all his good traits, she wouldn't be able to stick at his side.

"Yes, you do. And I sincerely appreciate that gesture of yours. But he doesn't know it, and he has flaws, like all of us, but if the flaws are the only things we see about ourselves, they end up consuming our being, taking strength and defining us. And that's his biggest mistake…So that's why I ask you to be patient with him. And to not give things for granted"

He stared at her for a moment, as if trying to get something from her that was escaping him, like when you try to resolve a difficult puzzle and the effort is shown on your gestures.

"I know he cares about you. One can tell at the same moment he mentions your name…"

She tilted her head to one side a bit startled, both by Mr. Lumpkin's behavior and words. She wouldn't have imagined Filip talked about her. And being the case, what would he say?

"And I know he's hard and stubborn, but try to know him better. So you can decide what you want about your relationship. That's the only advice I can provide you with, and of course, try to be careful. There might be things you probably won't want to know, but that's all up to you"

There was a darker sense on his words as Mr. Lumpkin ended, and she didn't quite understood the meaning of them, but he was right, he wasn't the right person to talk about it, if she wanted to know about Filip she had to go to the direct source, besides, it was uncomfortable enough talking with him about his own private life, so sharing that kind of doubts with his uncle was definitely out of question; it would be embarrassing, inappropriate and intrusive. She didn't want to be that obsessive girl, even if sometimes she found herself almost crossing that line in her mind.

"So what do you say?"

"Yes…I-I…I understand"

"Good. If you need help any time, you can contact me. Okay?"

She nodded lively as he handed her a card, maybe too relieved of the conversation ending already. At that moment, she spotted a small bowl full with red and white colored round candies at her right. Cinnamon mints.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"N-no sir" She laughed nervously, not being aware that her stare was completely focused on the candies.

"Take as many as you want" Said the man with a smirk on his face as she turned to look at him with a dark blush on her cheeks and clearly embarrassed "I know someone who loves those"

"Yeah…" Fay said while trying to restrain a silly smile knowing well who he was talking about and reaching her hand shyly to take one single candy even if she wanted to take them all with her. She also loved them now "Thank you"

"Now, I won't be taking more of your time"

"O-okay, ehm, good bye" She said as he accompanied her to the door.

"Have a nice day Fay, and I hope to see you around for dinner one of these days"

She gave her best fake smile as a reply cursing inside of her mind at the new blow. There was no way of her going to something like a dinner to meet the family.

* * *

><p>Fay sat on a stool in front of the breakfast bar, tapping her fingers impatiently against the surface; the school bag still hanging from her shoulder. There were a lot of things drifting around her mind lately, keeping her unsettled. She knew that Filip's mother was dead and it changed his life, and she also saw her pictures, but he had no idea, simply because he had nothing to do with her knowing, which made her feel kind of guilty and uncomfortable, like a sneaky intruder rambling into his life without permission.<p>

Filip saw Fay lost in thoughts but didn't say anything. Instead he walked to the refrigerator and took out a box of milk, pouring some of the white liquid in a transparent glass, not even once he turned to look at her. And there was no possibility of his presence going without her notice, no matter how distracted she was. If anything, it made her even more aware of her current concern.

As her left elbow rested on the table, she placed her face on her palm, letting out a sigh and staring at the boy in front of her. She couldn't even remember when she got so used to him, to being on his life and letting him be part of hers. She guessed it would take time, but it didn't, it was as natural as breathing; as if they had been sharing time together their entire life, even after all the ups and downs, it felt like it was right. A little smile drew on her lips at that thought, a mere gesture of sheer happiness.

After finishing his glass he walked away. And that was one of the things she found puzzling about him, it didn't bother her though, it just made things a bit lonely sometimes. Probably he wasn't even aware of it. He could be sweet and attentive, sometimes too protective, making her feel she was the most important person in his world, and then, just in seconds, things would change, and he wouldn't even acknowledged her presence, as if she wasn't there. Not that he ignored her, he would respond if she talked to him, but she could sense the distance of miles away between them. She leaned her head against the table, over her folded arms and closed her eyes; trying to hear his steps, or any revealing sound indicating his location. There was none. He was usually so quiet, maybe too quiet. It freaked her out sometimes.

Once Fay dropped her bag on the couch, she ran up the stairs after hearing the only hint she needed. It was the sound of the picture window opening upstairs. He was already sitting in front of his computer when she reached the second floor. Fay carefully approached the seat behind him with light steps and sat down.

She was just starting to realize how much she liked him, and it really amazed her how her entire life could come to revolve around him. She remembered her last talk with Gili and Petunia and a small smile escaped her lips. It was a playful yet innocent smile as she felt like a little child setting up how to steal the so forbidden jar of cookies. She couldn't deny she felt a little curious about all the aspects that a relationship might involve, and also about his interest in that kind of things; but it was too embarrassing, even thinking about it made her feel the heat crawling up her face and staining her cheeks with a hot pink blush. A single kiss and it was enough to make her feel like she was losing her mind and heart at the explosion of feelings mingling like butterflies inside of her, so taking the next step was probably past her limits. Although, it could be really tempting just to know a little bit more.

He stopped with whatever he was doing and turned back suddenly on his chair to face her. She pursed her lips together, repressing her silly grin as her eyes grew wider, stupidly feeling like a kid getting caught doing something wrong, which was ridiculous because she wasn't doing anything bad and there was no way he could know what she was thinking. And either way, the shade of pink spread on her cheeks became darker.

"What is it?" He asked not being able to hold the muffled laugh that leaked from his lips after seeing her watch him in that way. She was planning something fishy or he was missing a very funny joke.

"Nothing" She shook her head and looked down, avoiding him.

"Then what's with that reaction?" He leaned back on the seat, arching a brow and crossing his arms over his chest "Are you hiding something?" The corner of his eyes narrowing while he stared at her suspiciously.

"N-no!" Her eyes shifted to look at him and back at the floor as she chew on her index finger "I was just…thinking a-about weird stuff, don't pay attention"

He let out a sight but the smile on his lips remained unaffected.

She laced her fingers together and decided that it was better to change the subject and go directly to the main issue, it would be killing two birds with one stone "Can…can I tell you something?" She said before taking a deep encouraging breath and looking at him in the eye. He saw her getting uncomfortable and regarded her quizzically wondering why she was acting so weirdly. It was usually not difficult to guess, but she was making it hard this time, even for him. His stare obviously made her to look away from him again.

"Sure" He replied in a nonchalant tone and she wondered if he was taking her seriously. She then shook that thought off her mind; she couldn't expect any reaction yet if she hadn't spoken, and it was clearly a good thing that he wasn't bothered about her attitude and the questioning. So what was she thinking, was it better when he rejected every one of her request? Clearly not. She just got easily confused around him.

"D-don't get mad…" She said while biting down on her lip, expecting some kind of reply from him, perhaps something that would make it easier for her to proceed. He just kept his eyes on her with an earnest look "…but I s-saw a…some pictures of your mom, I mean, like some of your family…and your mom"

Her eyes were focused down on her shoes as the silence encircled her, feeling uneasy, ashamed for what she had done; there had to be a reason for him to be so reserved, she just wasn't sure if she had some kind of privileges on that matter. Her eyes shifted up to find him a bit perplexed at her words and she didn't know how to act next. Actually, what kind of reaction was she expecting? There was a part of her that understood he was never going to react the way she predicted, being for good or for bad, this time apparently, was for good; for so far he didn't seem mad.

"First of all…" He spoke as he leaned closer to place his index finger on her bottom lip making her stop with the bad habit of biting on her skin "You're not a chew toy, so stop this. Secondly…" He eyed her suspiciously "Where would you see a picture of her?"

"He-here…in your photo album"

"I don't have a photo album Fay"

She doubted for a moment then continued "Yes, you do. Th-the one in the shelf downstairs"

He shook his head in denial and frowned. If he took good care about something when he moved there, it was about not bringing any memories from his family or his past life. There was nothing worth to remember.

During the first part of his life, there was only one thing that brought him happiness, and it was the singular relationship he had with his mom and with the sickness that came along, because it was an inevitable part of her, so they both had to live with it. And why remember something that was no longer there for him? To torture himself with longing and missing and unnecessary emptiness and worry which would only made him feel like he was completely alone. Next was, the time after her death, which was just full of his biggest mistakes and demons that overcame him during all that period. So this place was a whole new beginning, he wanted to make sure of that. And probably it didn't turn out being the best and the most normal life, but it was the best he could do; he was pretty satisfied with how things were at that moment. Mostly because of Fay. She was the only one who could improve his life to such extent. Before her, he was sure there was no such thing as a happy and peaceful life for him, so even if he didn't think of himself as worthy of anything good, she gave him the slightest glimpse of faith for the first time in too long.

"Yes, the dark blue one with hardcover, that doesn't have title" She tried, remembering what she actually saw, because it was real, she wasn't imagining things, was she? "I'll bring it" She decided finally and stood up, but soon found his hand around her wrist stopping her. She sat again looking at him, feeling a bit bewildered.

"I believe you" He laughed at her insistence "I guess _someone_ put it there, but it wasn't me"

"O-kay"

"Hey, you don't have to worry that much, I won't get mad if you touch something in my house, moreover, you can take anything you like with you if you want to"

She laughed at his words, he knew she would never do something like that. Except for that black camouflaged jacket, but she really liked it, and he was the one who told her to keep it, so she convinced herself it didn't count.

"I'm serious, I don't care about that and I trust you"

She sighed, because she really wanted to believe in that, but sometimes he made it too hard "Then why you didn't tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"She's dead" Said Fay in a whisper. The words were out of her mouth before she even realized it.

His eyes turned serious and he soon found out what was really happening "Ed talked to you, right?" He said sharply, the last thing he needed was his uncle getting weird ideas into Fay. Apparently it wasn't enough doing it with him.

Fay nodded seeing how that upset him, tears started to sting in her eyes and she bit hard on the inside of her cheek trying to hold them. She wasn't going to cry, she had enough with being lame all the time and crying for nothing.

"I just don't like to think about that" He talked more calmly. He had too, something to learn, and it was how to control his impulses, mostly around Fay, she was way too sensitive, and every one of his words could be a blow of pain for her, so he had to star being more conscious about the way he treated her. But it was hard; not that he didn't truly want to be careful with her, it was just that he was used to say and treat people in any way, acting always as he pleased and not caring about the consequences.

"I understand" She spoke while he took her hand between his, making her feel way better and a lot more secure about her own words "I-I just…would like you to trust me a little more…and Mr. Lumpkin di-didn't tell me, he just mentioned it, assuming I would already know"

"How…" Filip started to talk but stopped. He then stood up and sat next to Fay, placing his arm around her shoulder and bringing her closer to him, which she gladly accepted welcoming the comfort.

Leaning his head on top of hers, he continued with the question "If Ed didn't show you the picture, how did you know who she was?"

Fay blinked and stopped a minute to think before answering, she actually couldn't tell, it was just too obvious, not only that they looked alike, but she could feel it too. She just knew it the moment she saw her face.

"Well…you are really similar, it wasn't that hard"

"I see"

"What…what was her name?"

He let out a long sigh and she stiffened, feeling regret and shame; she really wished to make things better for the both of them. It was one simple question. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but the urge for knowing didn't let her think about anything else. Maybe her expectations were too high.

"I'm sorry. Fo-forget it"

"It's okay…Leia, her name was Leia" He said as he placed a kiss on Fay's forehead "You always say you want to know more about me, I know. And that implies talking about family and that kind of things. Okay, I'll tell you about her. You wonder why I didn't talked about her death, well, as I said, I don't like to even think about that because I loved her and I believe she's the only person I've truly missed in my life, but that's in the past, and I've always wanted to keep it that way"

Fay nodded and he continued.

"She was basically a sick and depressed person, she was also deeply in love with my father even if he only considered her a trophy wife. Because of the medicines and her sickness, which was more a mental state than something physical, she usually forgot things, many times she didn't even remember me, but she played with me every day anyway, she loved to cook and she loved flowers. Cooking and taking care of the plants while I made her company, that's how we spent my childhood together, until I was ten, when she couldn't handle her mental state anymore and died from an overdose. It may have been suicide or maybe she was too out of her mind that day without anyone to supervise her during her desperation, no one never knew, I think it makes no difference, she's dead either way, and that's all, I took it pretty bad the first years but since I let all of that in the past I've overcome it pretty well"

Fay looked up at him and nodded. Strangely, at that moment she was able to look him in the eye not feeling intimidated. But she didn't expect him to tell that much. It was like a bunch of information thrown at her and it surprised her, mostly because he didn't seem affected, not even a little bit sad at the memory. Probably he was stronger than she and Mr. Lumpkin thought.

* * *

><p>"I…I think I'm going now…it seems like it's going to rain soon, so…" Said Fay around 6 p.m., and even for her it sounded like a pathetic excuse. It was Friday and she usually spent the whole weekend with Filip.<p>

He didn't say anything that implied his discomfort with the talk they had, but just by looking at him, by his attitude, she could tell there was certain resentment, as if she had just forced him to do something he hated, and she didn't intent it that way, but as she had thought, it was a bad day after all. It made her feel bad. Memories were supposed to be treasures, and she truly wanted him to share them with her. Obviously he didn't see it that way.

She wasn't mad because of that. But when things got weird with him it didn't get better even if he tried to hide his nuisance, and that wasn't even the main reason she was leaving, though there was no point in denying the situation helped a lot for her decision, and she was partially glad for it.

The last days of school were her major problem. It had been really stressful. Actually, with all the exams and everything everyone was supposed to be stressed, although Filip never seemed to have that kind of trouble; he was really smart, she couldn't deny it, since more than once he saved her life in the middle of some kind of irresolvable math problem or a senseless biology thesis; but being the principal's nephew, and mostly if the principal was an indulgent person like Mr. Lumpkin, had a lot of benefits for a student, he didn't have to worry about deadlines most of times, which was kind of unfair. Even though, he didn't take much advantage of his benefits if it wasn't about missing classes. On the other side, she had promised to meet with Petunia and Gili the next morning, and she had to admit that more than once she had neglected her compromises with her friends for Filip. And this time, they were going to work on homework, so she couldn't miss it, and not having him at her side enticing her to drop everything and stay with him would be really helpful.

"Okay. I'll call you a cab" He stood and walked away and Fay let out a little puff as she pouted behind his back. He usually would have insisted for her to stay, and finally, when she had explained why she had to leave, he would have driven her home like the loving person he was when he was in a good mood. This time, he didn't even ask her reasons.

* * *

><p><strong>Not too much Stars Wars, I just love the name Leia…<strong>

**Bye-bye! n.n**


	23. Chapter 23

**Happy New Year! :3**

**princess luna **Thank you ^^ that's so cute, and I'm really insecure too so don't worry. Hope you like this chapter too :3

* * *

><p>Fay came into her house feeling a bit dejected and walked towards the stairs to her room, swinging her keys back and forth on her index finger as the clicking noise distracted her a little.<p>

"Hmp, what a surprise"

She heard the voice coming from the room next to her. It was her mom. Her presence startled Fay a bit. Her head turned to look at the doorway of the living room to find her standing against the back of the couch and wearing her uniform. She always used the same kind of clothes for classes. Black tank top and dance capris, and a light pink sweater. She wasn't wearing the dance sneakers. As always, she was accompanied by a cigarette on her mouth and stared at Fay in a not so pleasant way.

"Hmm, hi"

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Said the red haired woman in an ironic tone. Fay thought there were actually times when she looked like a pretty gorgeous women, she was taller than Fay and the years of teaching forced her to practice, resulting in a good figure. Her long hair tied in a ponytail most of times wasn't as curly as Fay's so even when it was loose it looked good without much effort. But she still had that cheap and tired look on her that Fay hated so much and which talked more about her than her own words. If only she cared a little bit more about herself, she would be more appealing, a healthy look can be way more attractive than one that makes you look like you barely sleep and you are on pills all the time. Fay still didn't understand how she was allowed to teach at schools, but years earlier she had seen her in class, and surprisingly she was pretty good with kids. Probably her own daughter was the only kid she didn't like much and Fay honestly didn't want to find out why.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it's weird seeing you around lately, I've started to wonder if you still live here"

Fay wondered too, when did her mom started to notice her absence. It wasn't as if she didn't come to her house at all, it was just during weekends and her mom didn't even stay at home that much on weekends either. Their living together was basically like having an unpleasant roommate, so why bothering about it now?

"Y-yes, I obviously do" She spat back a bit annoyed. It couldn't be her way of getting rid of Fay and kicking her out of the house for once and for all, right? The thought appearing on Fay's mind and tormenting her was inevitable. She actually had been waiting for that moment since long ago, and it was one of her biggest fears. Not having a place to go.

"I don't like this carefree attitude of coming and going as you please" She said and turned her back at the confused girl meaning it was the end of the conversation.

You're one to talk. Fay thought, but didn't pay much attention, she was just glad it didn't turn out worst, though her mom's attitude surprised her, acting as if she cared about what she did.

* * *

><p>The breeze against her skin as she walked to Petunia's along with Gili, felt cold yet refreshing. Just a glimpse to the sky and the upcoming gray clouds indicated a rainy day, even so, the sun was still shining brightly through the last white clouds, those that appear to be fluffy and foamy. And just that last remaining of light made her feel it was definitely going to be a good day.<p>

But as soon as they arrived, she knew gray and rainy was the part of the sky she should had taken as a hunch of how the day was going to develop.

"Petunia, really?" Said Fay in a preaching tone that made her feel weird, mostly because she was using it on Petunia when usually it was the other way around.

"You said we could study here…peacefully. You said since your parents went away again, we'd have the place to ourselves. No distractions" Continued Gili, also disapproving of Petunia's actions, and it was ever rarer when Gili did it. Her hands at her sides resting on her hips. One of those motherly gestures that made her look older than she was "And we come to find this" Her hand pointed out to the living room.

There were three noisy boys playing video games. Harrie, Spencer and Cody had taken the entire place for them. Petunia's touch still prevailing on the carefully placed cup holders and the three plates of snacks resting exactly on the middle of the coffee table, but it was still boys making a mess and gaming loudly.

"It kind of got out of control, but I don't think it's gonna bother us, we still have the studio and my room, I'm sure we won't even notice them" Said Petunia not really convinced and not really convincing, trying to excuse herself since she'd promised it would be just the three of them "It's just, Harrie asked to stay…and since today we're gonna be busy I said it was okay if they came here too" She continued a bit embarrassed, and even if she was so fond of her boyfriend it was still a bit out of character for her to allow him to do something like that. Though probably she had already threatened them about behaving.

"Yeah, it's okay" Said the red haired girl as she made her way in; if it was with Petunia, they would definitely behave, besides, the twins weren't around so there wasn't much of a problem.

They collected all the necessary and headed to Petunia's room, with the resolution of having the science project done before the end of the afternoon. But after two hours of working hard and feeling really tired, they went down for something to eat. Unfortunately, they ended up being dragged by the boys and their noisy enthusiasm. It would be only a couple minutes, they said. But minutes became hours of playing and cheering all together, taking the controllers by turns. Gili was the only girl worth of calling a competitor; she had, after all, spent years playing video games with her older brother and with Cody too. Fay and Petunia were fighting for the last place every time. There was a lot of shouting and yelling, Fay got scared with every little thing, even the vibration of the controller startled her every time. Probably it was the video games' effect, but everything became easily an entertaining disaster.

"I'm starving" Whined Gili after a couple hours of playing.

Cody looked at her with a wide smirk and held his hands up in the air "Pizza time!" He yelled and Petunia rolled her eyes before standing up.

"I'll order the pizza, but after that we'll get back to work" Said the blue haired girl looking at her watch "And probably you'll have to help too" It was getting late and they were running out of time, so all help was necessary.

Fay's cellphone lighting up on the dining room table caught the girl's attention. She stood up leaving the noises behind and took her phone to read the incoming message. It was from Filip.

_What time are you coming? I have something for you._

She looked at the hour, it was a quarter to six already. She couldn't believe they had wasted all the afternoon; it would be finished around nine if they started to work after eating. There was still time, she just had one more thing to handle.

After a fast reply saying he shouldn't wait for her since it was going to take longer than she thought, he wrote back that it didn't matter, he'd wait.

She went back to the living room with a wide indelible smile on her lips and sat next to Spencer and Cody again.

"You're looking too happy for a person who's been losing lives all day" Said Spencer in a teasing tone as he handed her the controller.

"Wanna play again?" Asked Cody "It would be you against me"

She looked at him suspiciously, then down at the controller and finally at Spencer "I-I ..You're gonna kill me!"

The blue haired boy laughed as he shook his head "What are you getting so anxious about? I'm not the one playing against you, I'm supposed to help you, besides, it's just a game"

"C'mon" Added Cody eagerly.

She faced Spencer again, looking at him through narrowed eyes.

"What? Don't you trust me?"

She denied with her head but agreed on playing anyway. It made him laugh. They actually won, and luckily the pizza arrived before Cody could ask for a rematch.

As Fay had thought, around nine p.m. they were just finishing and everyone was tired because even the boys got to help, obviously against their will.

When Fay started to pick up her books and getting ready to go, her cellphone rang showing Filip's name on the screen. She answered it and said she would go out in a minute. As soon as she raised her stare she met with Petunia's eyes looking at her questioningly.

"Just go" Said the blue haired girl with a shrug. She already knew there probably was someone outside of her house waiting impatiently for Fay to run after him.

Fay nodded a bit apologetically and left.

The cold air almost cut on her skin as she ran to the car. When she got inside, all her friends were at the door saying their goodbyes at Petunia and Harrie. Fay wondered if Filip would misunderstand as there were way too many people for a simple homework that took around four hours more than necessary.

The ride was mostly quiet but he didn't seem upset so she decided she was being paranoid again. There was also the dark and foggy night, too dark for her liking, which was causing her to feel uneasy; even with the streetlights she couldn't see anything around.

"So what did you do today?" Asked Filip when they got in his apartment.

"Hmm…we mostly wasted the middle of the day playing video games…because Harrie was with Petunia and she let him invite Cody and Spencer over to play…since she was going to be studying all day with Gili and me…"

"Still you just told me you wasted almost the entire day playing with them"

"Well yeah, it…didn't go as I thought…" She looked at him with a wary expression "but we made it to finish it in time…I only have that English essay left and…"

He was looking at her intently and paying attention to what she was saying, maybe too focused on her words. She gave a step closer "Ar-are you mad?" Asked Fay as she decided to take the risk and approach him. She held his hand and looked up into his eyes, feeling her heart thumping loudly against her ears. She still didn't understand why she got so nervous, she wasn't supposed to be so anxious around him anymore. Even so, she required of a lot of courage.

He smiled heartily at her and she sighed in relief as he gently brushed her hair behind her ear "I wouldn't get mad for such a small matter. You're the one saying you don't have time for anything lately, so it's up to you how to waste it"

She nodded, feeling a little ashamed; his words were making her look bad because they were true. She had being complaining and whining all the time, he probably thought she was annoying and a liar "I know"

"But…" He said, and the grip on her hair became suddenly harsh, her hand ran quickly over his trying to suppress the pain "Why is it that you reek of him?"

Her eyes snapped wide at him, a smile still on his face, and she realized then, that the smile wasn't one of approval or understanding. His narrowed eyes gave him such a malicious look that she felt her knees starting to weaken.

"Wh-what?" Stuttered Fay as she tried to give a step back from him, but he didn't let go of her hair, holding her face close to him so she could see that weird gleam of hatred in his eyes.

"You know what I'm talking about"

Of course she knew what he was talking about. He still didn't trust her around Spencer, even if she didn't understand that irrational behavior when it came to him, she thought of herself as really naive, expecting him to be okay with it now.

Thinking back, she had been next to Spencer all day. And that damn perfume he always wore; they didn't even hug, she was just too close to him and even so she got the scent on her, she could smell it too. Fay knew it wouldn't be pleasant seeing Filip being so close to another girl. What a hypocrite. It just didn't cross her mind at that moment that she was acting wrong. And probably she wasn't, but it wasn't certain, since she had never had close friends before; anyway, she already knew the person she would have to deal with afterwards, so basically it was really stupid of her, doing what she did. Maybe start considering the idea of no seeing Spencer ever again was something that had to be done, even if it wasn't a likable idea for her. She supposedly accepted it that way.

"I-I wasn't really…with him, w-we were all to-together"

"Okay" He cooed with a smirk still on his lips "You know what?" He said while nodding but she couldn't relax at his words, being able to see his wild eyes burning into hers, trying to convey his wicked thoughts "It's not important, I have a better idea"

He grabbed her hand brusquely and headed to the room not bothered by her weak attempts to break from his grip.

"Wh-what i-idea?" She said while trying to stop him, pulling from his hand at the same time.

He pushed the bathroom door flung open and it hit against the wall producing a loud noise that made Fay wince in fear. Standing in front of her he placed his hands at both sides of her face, talking to her closely "We're just gonna fix it, and you'll become worthy of looking at you again" Said the boy and then kissed her lightly on her lips. Fay blinked repeatedly, trying to withdraw from his face and her breathing became heavy with the nervousness.

He started to drag her into the shower and she tried to fight him back but her mind was too confused and scared to think clearly and let her act fast. As soon as she stepped inside the cabin, he turned the faucet to its maximum letting the cold water fall all over Fay's body, hitting harshly against her skin, making her shake and sob helplessly, wetting his own clothes as he held her inside the shower, even though she stopped fighting as soon as the water hit her.

Fay leaned against the wall when he turned the water off about a minute later. Sobbing and brushing the damp strands of hair off her face shakily. She hugged herself tightly trying to compose her mind in the freezing cold, her eyes looking down at her favorite jacket, his jacket, darkened with the water. It was impermeable and yet the water filtered to her long sleeved white t-shirt. She had specially picked that outfit because she was going to see him, it was one of her favorites. She wore it with a black mini skirt, a thin studded belt, teal blue high tights and black converse.

She looked at him form under her lashes, breathing with difficulty as her whole body was shivering. He stared at her with curiosity and held one hand out to help her out and grabbed a towel with the other.

Once in the room, he roughly toweled her hair dry and Fay didn't keep him from doing it. She sat in the edge of the bed and unzipped the jacket, letting it rest at her side. He leaned down to look into her eyes. A blank expression on his face.

"There. You look so pretty"

She couldn't sense a hint of sarcasm on his words. How could he think that? What part of her looked pretty at that moment? Wet, shaky and scared. She would like to differ but she didn't dare to articulate a word.

He went out of the room. Fay was too shaken to pay attention to the world around; she just stared down at the floor, trying to get her mind away from the cold. She had to take off those clothes, but she honestly didn't feel like moving at all. It wasn't until he came back and his silhouette reached her viewing range that she reacted again.

Her first reaction was to recoil and climb in the bed. Big mistake.

He sat down next to her, a small grin on his face. On his right hand, a big and shining knife. She recognized it, the biggest knife on his kitchen; she had always wondered what it was used for.

"Wh-wh-what are you do-doing?" Her voice came out faltering, pitched and shaky.

He didn't answer, instead got closer to her, reaching his right hand to her face, apparently just to touch her, but she couldn't stand the idea of having such a sharp and shinning thing next to her without feeling threatened. He was too close and she instinctively slapped his hand away from her. It caused the blade to scratch his cheek, making a small cut.

Fay panicked. First she cupped her mouth with her palm and gasped, then she reached to touch him lightly with unsteady fingers on the wounded skin. He didn't make the slightly gesture of pain, not even one of surprise when she hit his hand.

After that, he didn't need to force her to do anything, just approach her slowly, pinning her down against the black and gray bedcover and she gave in under his dark stare, feeling guilty, confused and terrified. The uncertainty of his actions was the scariest part.

"You know you're only mine, right?"

She closed her eyes and nodded once. Breathing through her mouth, trying to bit back tears and sooth her racing heartbeats.

"Let's make it clear"

While hovering over her, he pressed his left knee against her thighs, painfully, leaning most of his weight on her to keep her in place.

"You know if you move, it'll be worst"

She didn't dare to look anywhere but the ceiling and the inner of her eyelids. He wouldn't harm her, no, he wouldn't. He changed, he said he wanted to do it for her, so he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. She kept repeating in her mind as she felt the hot tears falling down her cheeks. It was the last remain of hope she had. But she was so scared that she didn't feel her limbs, they were unresponsive, motionless. What she did feel was the way he rolled up the sleeve of her right hand, up to her elbow.

He brushed the blade against her bare skin, it didn't hurt, but it was uncomfortable, cold. He kept testing and teasing until the sharp tip of the knife buried in her skin, she winced and let out a soft whimper but didn't move. He continued from there, drawing letter after letter, cutting just deep enough so a few beads of blood stained her skin. _MINE_ was the word he wanted to print on her. So she wouldn't forget.

The pain ended but her crying didn't. All that was left was an itching annoying feeling on the wounded skin. She thought it was over already, that she could breathe again, that he would apologize, and everything would be forgotten.

"How nice…" He said staring down at her arm as it swelled slightly around the words with a red shade spreading on her white skin; in such a plain tone that he didn't reflect the meaning of his words. It was emotionless, almost as if he didn't want to do what he was doing. But that wasn't completely true, he just thought it was something he had to do, and even if he enjoyed the outcome, it wasn't for fun.

"I like it. Let's keep going"

She continued sobbing quietly. How long was it going to be? How far was he planning to go? She should try and think of something else. But she couldn't, it was the mixed feelings, the confusion, all tangled, making knots inside of her, causing her to feel that empty and daunting sensation of angst.

He moved his hands to the hem of her shirt, lifting it up to her ribs, caressing the skin with the tip of his fingers. Then he leaned down to kiss her lightly. One, two, three kisses. She knew it was the trace for the cut he was going to make. Yet his lips felt so warm and soft that she couldn't help but to enjoy the sensation, to forget the pain. But it wasn't long, the torture continued.

"As I thought. Your skin is the most beautiful and soft…it's just perfect" He mumbled softly, fascinated.

When he was done with her belly he moved down and sat next to her legs. She was already almost free from him. And she wanted to get away, being tired, in pain; her muscles tensioned so much with every cut that she felt worn, but her body didn't react, it refused to follow her instincts and avoid the pain.

He pulled down the high tights on the right side, very gently. She didn't understand how he could be so delicate prior what he was about to do. Being so careful before every cut, meticulously studying the place he wanted to mark. It amazed her and she hated it. She couldn't believe she was able to find something amazing even in his awful acts. She just couldn't bring herself to hate something he did. There was always something to like, there was always his gentle touch making her waver.

He cut again the same words in her inner thigh, but it was a more painful place to do so. She struggled a bit, cried a bit louder, tightened her fists and shut her eyes. None of it bothered him; it just made it more painful for her, as he had said. Since she moved, the knife went deeper in a few parts, causing more blood to pour out.

"I warned you" Said Filip before licking on the hot drops of blood. He didn't want stains on his masterpiece.

He crawled over to her and looked into her eyes, full of tears, blocking her vision. She saw the blurry image of him. His eyes wide, as if he were surprised, almost mad. If he seemed expressionless before now she could see the disgusted look on his face and it was directed to her.

With one swift movement, the knife was buried in the bed, next to Fay's head; it was so fast that she didn't even had the time to feel the threat of it being aimed to her eye or face. She looked at it from the corner of her eye, petrified.

"Damn it Fay!" Filip barked and stomped to the bathroom. She could hear the noises as he opened the bathroom cabinet with shaky hands finally finding the pill bottle. He poured the bottle on his hand, letting some of the pills fall on the sink and taking three.

He grabbed the edges of the sink, looking down, breathing through his mouth. He highly doubted they could keep going if things were like that. She really let him do whatever he wanted and he mistakenly forgot his lucidity sometimes.

After a couple of minutes of staring at nothing he went back to the room, ready to face her. To face that scared look on the girl who was sitting on his bed, her back against the wall as if she were trying to escape through it. Her hands over her chest and her body shaking from head to toe.

He sighed. One hand in his pocket and his head down, not daring to look into wide pools of amber, full of fear and incertitude "Come, we have to get you warm before you catch a cold" He said holding out his hand but still not raising his stare. Until he felt her fingertips brushing on his; cold and trembling she reached him once again. Letting him embrace her closely, because no matter what, there's where she wished to be.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it! ^^<strong>


	24. Chapter 24

**Hello again ^^ and thank you very much for the reviews and the adds, love you all :3**

**FCAMLB** Gracias, si necesitas ayuda solo pregunta :)

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><p>After a hot shower and the usual blue pajama top, Fay felt a bit better. She stared at her blurry reflection in the foggy mirror and it reminded her of the sky earlier that day. Grey and rainy, definitely, that's how the day had been after all. She whipped a small portion with her palm so she could see her reddened cheeks and slightly puffy eyes. Not as bad as she thought her face would look. Inside the house it was warm, the cold shower incident was what made her feel like freezing. She didn't even know what to think after that, but inexplicably she felt safe again.<p>

Wondering why he acted that way seemed as useless as trying to guess what he was thinking. She was convinced he didn't mean to hurt her, it was clear since long ago that he sometimes lost before his impulses, and blaming him for something he regretted didn't sound like a sensible thing to do for Fay, even if they both knew it was wrong. Being in the shower she could finally see what was it exactly what he did with her skin. All that pain and exertion for such unnecessary word. But it wasn't that bad, she thought. It didn't hurt that much. She couldn't help it but compare it with that time when he told they couldn't be together. This was nothing in comparison for what she felt that day.

She walked to the room to find Filip sitting and waiting for her. The knife nowhere to be seen. Without saying a word, she sat beside him and then watched how he carefully cleaned her wounds, kneeling in front of her to have better access to the affected areas. He had taken off his wet shirt while she was in the bathroom, she could see it tossed on the floor and it made her feel shy about where to look. He didn't even notice her blushing face while impassively treating every cut.

"The first two are superficial, so those are the ones that are going to hurt the most. Just breathe through your mouth and handle it for a bit" He said while grabbing a little bottle and damping a small piece of cotton. It smelled like medicine, not a nice a smell, it reminded her of hospitals and hospitals were one of the scariest places.

And in fact, the arm and belly really hurt. She could feel the liquid going inside the cuts and burning, but it only lasted a few seconds which she bravely endured, then, there was the sensation of relief, and it cured the itching as well. There was still a slight pain but it was way more bearable. The cut on her thigh wasn't as easy. There was a constant pain and even if the medicine didn't burn like in the others, it didn't relieve the soreness either.

After placing the first aid things in the bathroom, Filip stood in front of Fay and there wasn't much he could say, he knew what he did and he knew it shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't let unfounded jealousy to take over him and lose his temper.

"Are you tired?" Was the only thing he managed to say. Being another person she would have wanted to go as far away from him as possible. But he knew she wouldn't.

Fay nodded and after a pause, she spoke "B-but I don't feel like sleeping…just yet"

"Whatever you want to do then" He said dryly.

"Y-yeah, let's watch a movie…but…you pick it out"

A movie. He bitterly thought about the simplicity of her request. He knew it was selfish, but he only wished for her to go to sleep already so he didn't have to see her face. Just the short glances she gave him hid at least a bit of resentment. But how could he apologize for the stupidity he had just done? Words weren't enough yet they were the only way to do it.

He tried to distract his mind searching for one of her favorite movies. There was Edward Scissorhands, she loved it even though she cried every time with the ending. But all the scissors and cutting and poor Edward suffering for the people he naively loved wasn't quite a wise choice. So he picked The Wizard of Oz, an old film that she loved as much as the book and at least it was a happier story. He could still remember the time he saw her reading that book; that was the first time they had a proper conversation. When it started Fay smiled at his choice but neither of them paid much attention to the screen anyway.

She looked at him, sitting at the opposite corner of the bed, more than far enough so they didn't have the minor contact with each other. He was absently staring in front of him and it was obvious he was as lost in thoughts as she was. What Fay wanted to do, wasn't clear, but being like that, so distant to each other to finally grow apart one day, when all the resentment from each part built up enough, wasn't what she had in mind. She felt hurt for what he did beyond the physical pain, but somehow she didn't want to stay like that, she had to forgive him, there was no way she could think of punishing him with indifference or mean words. It'd only hurt her even more.

Taking a few steadying breaths she tried gathering the courage to say something. She guessed trying to be casual would be the best, as if nothing had happened…or maybe not. And after failing on coming up with a nice conversation starter she opened her mouth, feeling a hole at the pit of her stomach and the accelerating heartbeats, yet decided to improvise. But no words came out, and she felt defeated by her own cowardice. Probably it would be better to collect her own thoughts and feelings first. She didn't understand what had happened, but she knew she didn't feel angry; in that right moment, she just felt really empty, because it was clear that they couldn't be together as she wanted after what happened.

"You have something to say…" He stated plainly while he looked at his side, his head resting against the wall as if he were really tired. She had being gazing at him for a while and he couldn't stand the silence, he just wanted to forget what had happened but it wasn't something he could do alone.

Fay looked down, fiddling with her fingers and shook her head. It made her want to cry, because she did want to say something, only she didn't know what.

"Well, I do" Said Filip and she blinked at him "Come here" He moved closer and gently took her hand. She knelt while turning to him, letting him direct her slowly until she sat on his lap, astride him. Once he had her in front of him and as close as possible, he gazed into her eyes. He wanted her to look at him, not giving her the chance to avoid his stare when he spoke.

As he thought, the first thing she did was to stare down. He pressed his forehead softly on hers, breathing in deeply "Look at me" He cooed quietly.

She raised her eyes to meet his, feeling how all daunting feeling melted away while she got lost into deep pools of emerald. No sign of slyness was left on them.

"I'm sorry for what I did" He said slowly with a straight face and waited for her response. No matter what it was, he wanted to hear it. But he already knew, it'd be something he didn't deserve.

"It-it's okay" Her words made him sigh and close his eyes and she wondered if he felt disappointed or relieved with her reply.

He still wanted to check she was completely fine so he took her right arm and pulled up from her sleeve, carefully so the fabric didn't hurt her. She followed his movements with her eyes, watching how he brushed his thumb slightly around the swollen skin, seizing the askew and sharp words, '_Mine'_. He let out a small sardonic smile. As if he needed something so stupid to probe it. Just that moment was probe enough that she honestly wanted to be with him, and yet he still couldn't believe it.

"Does it hurt?" He asked while letting go of her hand.

"Ahm…" She looked at him and gulped while feeling unable to lie "Ju-just a bit" Said the girl with a shy smile, averting his stare.

And just that smile, her face, her gestures, all her being were so adorable that he couldn't contain his feelings anymore. They gazed at each other in silence for a moment before she felt his lips pressed onto hers. He wrapped his arms around her waist, dragging her closer, pleasantly feeling her warmth. She let her hands rest on his bare chest and soon she was slightly panting for breath. He wickedly took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth.

"I…truly love you" He whispered against her lips when they finally had to part for air, and she felt her heart swelling with emotions. That was the first time she heard those words from him, she had never even expected him to say something like that. Even her, who was sure that she loved him more than anything, hadn't voiced the words either, being too shy to dare.

"I-I love you too" She softly said the words back and if possible, blushed harder. Filip hugged her more tightly, closing the small gap that was left between their bodies. Fay wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back, a tender and tentative kiss becoming deeper while she felt a rush of heat spreading from her belly throughout her entire body, leaving her in a daze. Her heart was thumping wildly, thundering in her ears, coursing through her body and she didn't want to hear anymore. She couldn't even remember why she was so confused minutes ago. Just being that close to him let out all her frustration and pain. He leaned forward slowly, until her back was pressed on the bed. Fay wasn't able to think clearly from then on, every action and feeling was blurry and impulsive.

In that moment, with that kiss, she understood there was nothing able to keep her away from him.

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><p>Fay opened her eyes next morning a bit stunned and a little too tired. She turned to her side slowly and her arms touching each other reminded her of the wound with a light pain. Still half asleep she found Filip sleeping soundly next to her. She blushed lightly and threw her left arm over her eyes as though it were enough to make all memory and embarrassment to disappear.<p>

If he was still sleeping it meant it was too early. She decided to try and shake every thought off her mind and keep resting for a couple hours more.

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><p>"What do you want to do today?" Asked Filip on Monday morning while Fay finished her breakfast. It was earlier than usual. They had to go to her place for a change of clothes, she had only packed skinny jeans, but with that cut on her thigh she would need something else. Luckily she had a lot of baggy clothes.<p>

"Wh-what do I want to do?" She laughed, at first confused, then skeptical "Well, I plan on going to school and helplessly face the fact that, for the first time, I wasn't able to finish my English homework"

"You don't have to. We can do something else" He stated nonchalantly and Fay stared at him for a few seconds. He couldn't be serious if her suspicions were true. She narrowed her eyes with apprehension and he smirked at her.

"What?" He playfully laughed at her questioning look.

"You're not planning on keeping me locked in here just because of this" She held out her hand, exposing her arm in the air, though the skin wasn't visible because of the sleeve of her t-shirt, they both knew what it hid under. Her eyebrow rose in incredulity "I'm perfectly fine, it's the same as having a cat"

He frowned for a second, feeling uncomfortable with the fact that she was making jokes about that already, but finally decided to let it go "A cat…I see" He said while approaching Fay and staring intensely into her eyes. The red haired girl gulped and inattentively bit a small piece of the French toast she was holding on her left hand, leaving crumbs around her mouth. "Well, master" He continued teasingly, a wide smirk on his lips, reflecting how much he was enjoying her reactions. His arms slowly found their way around her neck, encircling her and getting closer "I was talking about going out to someplace of your choice. But since you mention it, the locking you up isn't such a bad idea, it's actually quite tempting. And given your insistence, I guess I have to fulfill your wishes"

"Y-you know I didn't mean it that way" Feeling awkward, she placed the French toast on the plate and let her hands rest clumsily on her lap, all along intending to ignore his hot breath against her lips and his tempting eyes successfully inciting certain reactions. She could already feel a pleasant warmth running throughout her body "Besides…there's no way I'm missing a class to escape an assignment" She kept bravely trying to seem strong before his enticing but even he could sense the hesitation in her voice.

He drew back a little to hold her hands between his and she felt a slight disappointment with the distance "I'll fix it for you. I swear. I know I've keep you pretty distracted too, so let me take care of it for this onetime"

Ignoring that arrogant smile he had been wearing for a while and the impish insinuation, she considered his help, knowing well that he could easily do something like that. Her eyes were shining before the possibility and he knew she was almost convinced.

"Well? I can always make you stay with me"

With half a smile and threatening narrowed eyes Fay ignored his comments trying to think fast and before she realized it, she was chewing on her index finger. She didn't want to go to class and she most definitely didn't want to face her English teacher. After a deep breath, it was decided, and she finally nodded.

"Good" He smiled triumphal and then brushed his thumb under her lower lip to wipe off the remaining crumbs of French toast "That reminds me…I still have that something for you"

"Really?"

He disappeared into his room and came back with a small rectangular box in his hands. They both had totally forgotten about the present until that moment. She didn't need to open it when he placed the box in front of her, she could see the image of the smartphone on the top of the box. It was really pretty, and her cell phone was quite outdated.

"I-I can't accept this" She said a bit astonished. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the gesture but it was the fact of accepting something so expensive which made her feel utterly uncomfortable.

He chuckled and rolled his eyes at her suggesting she was being ridiculous. And ignoring her words he took the phone out and started to show her how it worked, though she already knew the basics since it was the same cellphone he used.

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><p>Time passed by and there weren't any more unpleasant incidents, not even little fights over who forgot the right time he was going to pick her up. If anything, they were closer than ever. So things were going pretty well. Fay felt like she was in heaving every time her friends asked her about her relationship but how could she describe something like that? She just said it was fine, and of course, she never mentioned the bad parts.<p>

At first she felt utterly uncomfortable and paranoid about hiding her injuries, though they cured pretty well under Filip's care, she was still afraid someone would found out and make a big deal out of it. But gladly nobody seemed to notice. Except for that one awkward time.

It was around one week after the incident, a normal week day after classes and Mr. Pop had asked Spencer and Fay to help him organize the new library acquisitions. An entire new collection of history, math and chemistry books. Petunia and Neal had joined them to find some kind of inspiration for the English essay they had to re-write. Most than half of the class had to re-do it, Mr. Molek was being really picky. Fay felt the sharp sting of guilt every time they complained about it. She obviously got away from it with an A, and Petunia and Gili were the only ones who knew about the little help she got. They just said she was lucky, Fay was really good in English anyway so they were as convinced as Filip that she would have gotten the A even without his help.

Filip joined Fay to the library since he had to return a couple of books. Petunia was already there so Fay walked to her to try and help her a little. After a few minutes of sharing ideas Fay knew exactly what book would be of use for her friend so she hurried to take it from one of the highest shelves, being obviously unable to reach it. Petunia laughed, telling her to stop trying the impossible and reached her hand to grab the book. But being so close to each other, Petunia's arm brushed slightly against Fay's, pulling from her cardigan so the sleeve went up to the middle of her arm, and consequentially exposing the cuts.

Fay lowered her arm in front of her chest and pulled from the sleeve to hide the skin again. Nobody noticed, or so she thought. As soon as she turned around she saw Filip staring at them. Still unwittingly holding her hand against her chest she smiled at him sheepishly. The expression on his face told her he witnessed her little scene, and with a mordant smile and a sad look that for Fay talked only of repentance he walked away.

Petunia, who saw their interaction, spoke darkly and rapidly, as if the words were out of her mouth before she realized it "I don't like the way he looks at you" She said a bit alarmed, both by the fact that she actually voiced the words and by Filip's behavior. She only had a biased viewpoint of their situation. For her, it looked like he acted believing he was superior and Fay was just lucky he dared to lay eyes on her. There was no way for the concerned girl to know that it was the other way around and he felt insignificant as a person compared to Fay and completely unworthy of her.

"That, Petunia…" The words came from behind the two girls, and they both turned around surprised to see Spencer had already arrived and was looking sternly at Fay "…is a look of guilt" He said and looked at the confused blue haired girl with an expression of resentment before turning around to pick some books, but first he talked to Fay again "And don't even try to deny it, we may not be friends, but I think we've being through enough things together for me to know that look" And with that he turned his attention to the task Mr. Pop had entrusted him with, but staying close enough so he could hear them speak.

"Did something happen?" Petunia asked as she turned her attention to Fay. Her eyebrows knitted together and her lips pursed in a thin line. The kind of serious and deprecatory look she always used when she wanted to know the truth.

"No-nothing happened" Fay hurried to said and took some books too. But her friend kept staring at her.

"For real!" The red haired girl finally snapped at her friend a bit annoyed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. Petunia didn't believe her, but she didn't ask any more, afraid to annoy her, besides, she thought it couldn't be something serious. Whenever her friend was disturbed by something related to Filip her attitude would immediately change, you could clearly see the suffering in her eyes. But lately she had been happier than ever.

Fay focused on organizing book after book, throwing furtive glances to Spencer while he greeted Neal and wondering how much he could know.

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><p><strong>Until next time! Hope you liked it and review! :)<strong>


	25. Chapter 25

**Hello again ^^**

**(I'm becoming so lazy, sorry -.-)**

**Thank you for everything and love you all! :3**

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><p>It was a hot day despite being winter season. Fay took off her sweater after being on the balcony for fifteen minutes and going back to the warmth inside the house, but immediately was forced to wear it again after a shiver ran all over her body. It was the kind of day that seemed to light moods, she had even seen kids playing noisily down in the playground. But she was hating it. The sky didn't clear, the sun was shining brightly through mildly thick clouds producing a blinding annoying white light and the weather didn't seem to decide between hot and cold. Just like her body temperature; she'd been in bed the last couple days with an awful cold. There was nothing for her to enjoy. And even though she liked Filip's care and company, he didn't let her do absolutely anything. His overprotective character always active to the extent of making her feel trapped, and since she was used to live normally and take care of herself even if she was sick, it was something new, and somehow suffocating.<p>

The first day was a Friday and she lost her voice, which made her go through really embarrassing minutes when the biology teacher asked her a question and believing she was faking it when Gili told him she couldn't talk, he made her mouth the words even if her voice didn't come out. Everybody obviously thought it was pretty funny, soft laughs filled the room mixed with sympathetic looks until she couldn't stand it anymore and covered her face with her hands to hide the blushing cheeks. That's when the teacher decided it was enough humiliation to convince him. Later the fever weakened her and the school nurse sent her home. Her mom didn't know about her that day until she left a message in the answering machine saying she would stay at a friend's house, just in case she decided to worry. Intentionally, she didn't mention for how long.

The second day Filip made her go to the doctor. No matter how many times she tried to convince him she didn't want to go, in the end she had to relent since her breathing was getting worse. The doctor was a nice and young woman that Fay liked a lot until she gave her a shot that really hurt, it made her cry but just a little, she didn't want to embarrass herself by acting like a kid. Overall it wasn't a nice visit to the doctor, but it made her feel better afterwards.

It was already the fourth day, there was no more fever, and her voice was coming back, but she still felt really tired, as though her whole body were heavier than ever. And after her little escape to take some fresh air she went back to the cozy place besides Filip, her head was resting on his lap while he gently stroke her hair, their eyes staring at the TV screen, watching the 4th Doctor Who's season. It was relaxing; she realized that the oppressive feeling was starting to fade away along with the cold.

In terms of comfort, Filip always spoiled her to no end, but when being sick, 'spoil' was an understatement; she only had to pronounce the words and whatever she wanted would be granted. He even stayed with her the entire time and she vaguely wondered if he was doing it just to miss school, but immediately concluded it wasn't the case, he didn't even need those kinds of excuses.

At that point, everything was going smoothly for them, but Fay had come to understand a lot of things about the boy she loved so deeply; she knew perfectly well that he was making the double of effort to keep his cool all the time since the last time he hurt her, about three months earlier; and she knew it was because he felt guilty; he didn't even argue her the times she didn't agree with him like before, even if those times were rare; but she also knew him better than that. There were brief moments when a gleam of exasperation showed up in his eyes if he didn't like something she did or said. It appeared when she put into action those little rebellious acts, objections against his compulsive behavior of treating her like a little girl unable of taking care of herself and making her own decisions. That scarce and seemingly harmless gleam that usually led him to lose his temper, but that now he was successfully controlling so well. However, it was becoming harder and harder every time, she was aware of that. He would eventually forget the guilty feeling one day, and have another outburst and probably hurt her again too. But so far nothing bad had happened, and she tried not to think much about that, being even afraid to admit that the idea terrified her. She truly believed he loved her, so he wouldn't hurt her again, at least not intentionally.

"Your hair is really soft"

His voice interrupted her train of thought.

"What?" Fay asked in a low and strained voice, still affected. It was a sick and weak sound, and she hated it.

"Your hair, I said it's really soft"

"Hmm" She replied without paying much attention.

"For some reason it gives the impression of being spiky"

"Really?"

"Yeah" He said and lightly pressed his forehand on her cheeks and forehead, checking her temperature "I guess it's the haircut you have"

"I-I guess…you don't like my haircut?"

"I like it" He answered and she didn't have to look at him to know he was smiling "How are you feeling?"

"Fine" She turned to face him so she could see him through sleepy eyes "I'm way better" A weak smile crossed her lips and she hoped that was enough to make him see how well she was feeling.

"Good. You should sleep now. I'll wake you up when dinner is ready"

Fay didn't like the idea and her nose wrinkled a little making a face of weary disappointment. And more instinctually than willingly, she turned around so her head rested on the pillow and with a final grumble she fell soundly asleep.

Filip smiled at her feeble stubbornness and walked out of the room after lowering the TV volume.

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><p>Fifth day, and she still wasn't allowed to go to school even when she was feeling <em>almost<em> completely fine already. Fay was gazing out of the window, a little blue bird landed on the frame as if waiting for its partner that arrived seconds later and then both flew away again; a wide and unnoticed smile spread on her face, a gesture that faded as fast as it appeared, being replaced by a sudden pang of sadness.

The last few days, they had spent a lot of time together; there were a lot of little talks and long talks, in the kitchen while preparing breakfast and sitting in the carpeted floor while looking at the fire and listening to music for hours. They talked about nothing and about everything. And it was great, she loved the simple joy of heartwarming laughs and meaningful little moments. But sometimes there were things she didn't feel ready to face yet. The topic had come up before and more than once, but never had it felt so real. She already knew Filip was planning on traveling to get his degree on business administration; he had been studying his options since the beginning of his senior year. And she knew that he was probably even thinking about going abroad. He was a person with high expectations and a bright future ahead; there was nothing for him in a small town after he graduated.

He finally told her he was applying for a well-known university that was only 2 hours away from Happy Tree by plane. _Only_ 2 hours away; but that was his way of seeing it. For Fay, it was way too far away. At least it wasn't abroad; that was her only comforting thought.

"There are less than 4 months until I graduate" Was the last thing she heard him say, that's when she decided to unplug for a few seconds and the little birds had opportunely caught her attention.

"Fay…are you listening to me?" He used an ominous tone of voice that she hadn't heard in a long time. Her eyes snapped to look at him a bit alarmed, still not being able to avoid those kinds of reactions. But it was safe, it was still safe, a soft sigh escaped her lips.

"I'm listening to you" She lied while wearing a mild smile, wishing she couldn't listen to him. Finding out the inevitable was something that could wait.

Her inattention clearly exasperated him to some extent; it felt like he was risking a lot of things with what he was going to ask, though he probably already knew the outcome, and it wasn't good news. After taking a deep breath, he felt his body relaxing. He quickly recovered and his eyes seemed to clear again. "I'm saying you should come with me"

This time she heard his voice loud and clear, but somehow the words seemed to come from a faraway place.

A weak and confused laugh escaped her lips "What? N-no, I can't…"

"Why not? I want you to come with me" Filip said with a stern look on his face, and she realized he was talking seriously.

"I…" She shook her head smiling bitterly. Confusion was the first thing that crossed her mind, then there was incredulity which was immediately dissipated by the seriousness of his eyes and the confusion came back. How come he did not see the impossibility on what he was saying? She inhaled deeply one more time and spoke again "I don't have the same facilities as you do, I mean, there is no way I could afford moving on my own to a place like that"

"Don't…Fay, don't think about the money. You can finish high school there, and then you can go to college too. If we speak with your mom…I know Ed can convince her to give you the permission so you can travel with me"

"That's not the problem. Th-that's not it" She shook her head and looked down, totally dumbfounded by the enthusiasm in his words. Thinking her indecisiveness could be the cause of their break up pained her more than anything, because she didn't have the courage to even inquire for a long distant relationship even though she would be willing to wait for him her entire life, but she couldn't agree to his request without feeling uncomfortable, as if taking advantage of him; and that was only one side of the problem. What if he got tired of her, if one day he decided he was wasting his time at her side and decided to end it all? She most definitely couldn't endure such suffering.

"There is nothing else to worry about"

"Yeah? How come? Who's gonna pay for all of it. Your family? No way I'm gonna agree with that"

"I'll get a job" He answered quickly, having thought about it already "I know I can ask him to get me a good job even if I'm just starting college"

She knew that _him _was his father , and the idea of having his support didn't encourage her in the slightest.

She stared at the boy in front of her, disconcerted. Was he actually aware of the implications on his 'simple' request? He probably hadn't thought about it through. It was asking her to move with him, and once there he was supposed to take complete care of her; thing that he was already doing more than half of the time. But they would be living together. The thought popped up in her mind and a light blush crawled up her cheeks. Just thinking about spending the rest of her life at his side made her heart beat faster, but from where she was standing it seemed impossible. They were already so far from each other, being so different and so young, it could become too much to handle.

"I-I…just can't. Please, d-don't…" She stuttered feeling the tears already falling. It was painful enough knowing they would have to part ways in least than half a year. And she by no means wanted to interfere with his studies and future plans "I couldn't ask you to do that for me"

He harshly drove his hands behind his neck and then pulled from a few strands of his own hair while a hissing sound came out of his mouth. He already knew she was going to react that way, why did he even bother to ask? It was useless.

She waited.

He sighed, gave a step closer and then smoothly pressed his lips on the corner of her mouth and her cheek, kissing her twice. "Just think about it, okay?"

Until that moment everything was all right, but fear had settled around her, deep and dreadful, around her heart and around his words. She nodded, but the possibility still didn't fit in her mind.

* * *

><p>On the sixth day she finally could assist to school. And it was somehow relaxing. There were only two days until the school dance and the anticipated excitement was present all over the schools halls.<p>

During P.E. Fay sat silently to watch the girls playing basketball since certain bossy boyfriend had already warned the teacher she couldn't do any physical exerting activity that day. Something to thank him actually, she wasn't really fond of sports. But she soon started to feel sleepy again, and thought that maybe rushing to go to school hadn't been such a good idea after all, something that she obviously wouldn't admit in front of Filip.

After a while, she spotted a girl hobbling a little while helping herself up the stairs and holding the railing. It was Tottie. Fay stared at the girl's ankle as she got closer.

"Hello" Said Tottie as she sat next to Fay.

"H-hi" She replied shyly.

During that period on Wednesday there were two groups that had P.E., Tottie's was the other one. She looked down again to see the girl's bandage under her dark green sandals.

"How are you? Are you not feeling well?"

"No, I just had a cold and…I'm fine now. Wh-what happened to you?"

"I hurt my ankle the weekend while skiing so I can't do P.E. either" Said the girl while laughing and rolling her eyes.

She had always looked like a very nice person to Fay, and now she could say for sure that it was true. The pink haired girl was very polite and kind while talking, the kind of person who has certain charm or charisma and who is easy to talk to. She told Fay about her trip with her family and the unfortunate turn of events when she had sprained her ankle. She had a hard time trying to convince her family she was already fine to go to school, being bored to death in her house doing nothing all day. Fay could totally relate to that and it made her laugh.

When class was ending they had an unpleasant but expected visit. Lannie came to them and even though she tried to hide her displeasure at seeing Fay sitting next to her best friend, her smile failed for a moment reveling what the other two girls already knew very well. She didn't like Fay.

Lannie kneeled in front of Tottie, placing her crossing arms on her friend's lap.

"How are you feeling?" She said smiling broadly and trying her best to ignore the red haired girl's presence.

While talking with Tottie, Fay had seriously wondered why such a nice and sweet girl would be so close with someone like Lannie; she guessed the girl would say something like: 'She's not that bad', with a heartwarming smile on her lips. Just like everyone else, and still Fay couldn't believe it, until that moment. Now she actually started to understand that the so antipathetic girl wasn't _that bad_ after all. When it came to her friends, Lannie was apparently quite a pleasant person. A long sigh escaped her lips, she had been overthinking everything lately, and it was somehow exhausting. The thought of wanting to hate the purple haired girl occupied her mind for a moment for no apparent reason. But somehow, she couldn't. Just like her, Filip had tried to keep Lannie away, and just like her she had refused to do it, and she didn't know his reasons, but her girlfriend could have been Lannie instead of her. Strangely, it made her feel a kind of sympathy towards the girl. The only reason she could think of as for why they didn't end up together was maybe that Lannie was too pushy, and she already knew that wasn't a good idea. And she didn't dislike Lannie for being friends with Filip, not even for the obvious crush she had on him. She disliked her for her constant hostile attitude towards Fay since the very beginning.

"We can go now, I asked the teacher" Said Lannie to her friend while smiling.

"There are still fifteen minutes until class ends, let's watch the match"

"Okay" She replied with a sigh and glared at Fay who wasn't even looking at her.

When the game finished, the impatient purple haired girl stood up, her shining necklace swung freely in the air, and Fay couldn't help but look at it, for some reason it really caught her attention once again. The little L shaped pendant was really pretty and elegant, with tinny diamonds in the middle of it, and for one second, Fay thought she really envied her for having it, as for why, she didn't understood yet.

"You like it?" Lannie asked as soon as she noticed Fay was looking at the necklace. Her eyes bored into Fay's with a sly smile that talked about self-satisfaction.

Fay pursed her lips but answered despite not liking her tone of voice "Yeah, it's pretty" She said quietly.

"It is. It was a gift-"

"Lannie" Tottie interrupted and Fay turned to look at her, surprised by her apprehensive tone of voice but Tottie didn't look her back.

"Filip gave it to me" She continued, sounding really proud of that and ignoring her friend.

Fay felt even more uncomfortable and brushed her hair behind her ear "I see" She said with half a smile. It was definitely awkward, she didn't want to know about the things he gave her.

"It was his mother's. You know, because her name was Leia, so it matches my name too, and it was something really precious to her, and well, it looks lovely on me"

Fay couldn't hide her surprise and Lannie's cocky expression reflected on wide amber eyes. She then realized why it caught her attention so much. It was effectively something she saw on Filip's pictures, and it was true his mother wore it all the time, but what was even more shocking for her was that Lannie knew so much about her when Fay thought she was the only one.

"We…we better get going" Said Tottie and dragged her friend to help her go down the stairs "bye Fay" She said apologetically, and clearly embarrassed by her friend's behavior.

"Bye" She replied absentmindedly.

"I bet she doesn't have something like this" Lannie said to her friend loud enough so Fay could catch her words.

"Lannie, please" Tottie snapped at her, already annoyed. Even though she loved her friend, it was becoming hard to understand. She knew Lannie wasn't the nicest person in the world but she had never tried to hurt someone in that way before. It was all because of Filip, Tottie was sure of that; up until Fay made an appearance in his life, Lannie thought she could be at his side no matter what because he never let anyone else get close to him, he never took any girl seriously, so being his only friend Lannie could stay at his side as long as it took her to make him look at her in a different way. But then Fay came around turning everything upside down, soon becoming a couple and probably it was too unexpected, but it was time for Lannie to get over it and move on. Tottie was decided to have a serious talk with her friend, she definitely had to talk some sense into her.

"What? She just has to stop thinking she's so special"

Every previous thought already removed, and now Fay thought she could get to hate her after all. It wasn't that hard, and Lannie obviously wanted it to be that way. But probably there was some true in her words, she wasn't special at all.

* * *

><p>"I don't want to go to school tomorrow" Fay mumbled and didn't actually expect him to hear her. She was sitting next to the fireplace on Filip's house, her hands on her knees and her eyes going from the floor to Filip who was sitting in front of his computer.<p>

He was checking the last e-mail from his father, it had been a while since he wrote, which wasn't rare, he only wrote when he needed to inform him of some important matter. This time though, he just wanted to warn him (_if he knew what was better for him),_ to not get involved in any kind of trouble since he was in the middle of an important negotiation concerning his business and couldn't afford having a scandal in his family.

"Okay. Don't go" He said after a few minutes and then stood up to go downstairs.

She lied down on the wide and comfortable seat, feeling terribly depressed. His moody behavior was something she was already used to, so it was easier to handle after the first couple months, but not that day. She felt like something was oppressing her chest, knowing well that it was a huge mistake letting Lannie get into her in that way. She just couldn't stand her teasing anymore.

Suddenly she didn't feel all that comfortable being there anymore. She needed to stop feeling lonely and there was only one person who could make that happen.

While walking down the stairs slowly, she kept thinking, a bit tangled by all the necklace matter, and reminding herself Filip said Lannie wasn't someone special to him, at least no more than a simple friend. But nobody would give something with such sentimental meaning to just anybody, besides, her confidence always dropped to zero when she compared herself to the purple haired girl. Both in looks and about who knew Filip better, she felt completely at disadvantage.

Filip stopped on his way upstairs, suddenly aware of Fay's words; probably she was feeling sick again. He knew he shouldn't have let her go out so soon.

The moment he stopped in front of the girl, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, feeling her heart throbbing in her mouth, being afraid he would push her aside and ask her to stop being so clingy. He didn't reject her, just circled her with his arms. But somehow he felt so absent that her mind weakened immediately, all her insecurities and worries washed over her. She could ask him what was wrong, what was bothering him, why was he acting so cold…Instead, she said something that was going to regret later.

"Why did you give her the necklace?" She spoke softly, hiding her face against his neck, not daring to look at him.

"What?" He let go of her so he could see her face but she didn't answer. Her troubled expression made him impatient.

"Fay, what are you talking about?" He repeated, making his voice more pushy and harsh, he wasn't in the mood for begging.

After letting out a long sigh she looked down and spoke "The necklace…" She said while nervously lacing her fingers together "You gave Lannie…yo-your mother's"

It only took him a few seconds to know what she was talking about. He scoffed while gazing at her in a way that made her feel really hurt. As if he thought of her as pathetic, which in that moment, he did. It was a meaningless and totally insignificant worry.

"Is she messing with you?"

"N-no…it's-"

"Don't lie Fay, it's lame when you try" He talked to her in a haughty tone while walking to the kitchen. Both his attitude and words made her frown; she had just seen him coming from the kitchen. She didn't know he had gone downstairs for a glass of water, completely forgetting what he was supposed to do after aimlessly walking around a couple of times

"I gave it to her, because she wanted it and I didn't"

"And that's all?" She snapped at him, getting defensive.

"Yes, that's all. And in the end, you're the one making people pick on you"

While he filled a glass with water from the fridge, she brought her hand over her mouth, a pained expression on her face. She didn't understand why he had to be mean, and precisely when she was already feeling so meaningless and downhearted. He wasn't even making sense.

"So it's my fault now?" Inquired Fay quietly.

"You can seriously be so stupid sometimes Fay" He said in a spiteful tone and tears pricked her eyes as she started to tremble, feeling her breath turning into sharp glass in her throat "Do you really think she dislikes you for being with me? It's all because of your friend Spencer, so yes, it's your fault after all"

She stared at him strangely, confused. Was it because of Spencer? That would be equally bad, she just wanted the nosy girl to leave her alone, but it was definitely disconcerting. Not totally unexpected though...

"Wh-whatever you say, it's still not my fault!" She said while sobbing.

He hated the fact that her expression and resolution changed immediately after hearing his name. The way she smiled while being with Spencer and the way he looked at her infuriated him and he was about to burst with outrage, trying to bit back the fury gathering within him. But with a sudden movement of his hand, the glass of water collided against the wall and shattered, spilling little pieces all over the sink and the countertop, and it somehow helped him to restrain his emotions. Fay jumped startled by the loud and sharp sound echoing all around the wide and almost empty room and turned to look at him. Her eyes wide, her mouth trembling. He was staring down, his middle finger and thumb were at both his temples, then his eyes fell onto hers.

"I don't feel like dealing with this right now" He said between clenched teeth.

She felt her knees weakening and sat down on the stairs, completely worn out. The weight of her gathering distressful thoughts finally falling over her shoulders. The pain of him going away and the fear of losing him forever, of feeling abandoned, of never getting to see him ever again; the exhausting task of trying to understand him; the annoying comments of Lannie; and her constant insecurity piling up. It was more than her heart could handle and she felt it breaking little by little with any new concern. She started to question her conviction and none of her feelings seemed fair anymore.

"I don't want this anymore…I-I'm so tired" An endless flow of tears made its way down her cheeks as broken words were pronounced, her voice was weak and faltered because of the sobs "So tired…" She repeated in a whisper, staring absently at the floor in front of her, feeling the air leaving her lungs and the tears flowing nonstop.

"So…that's how it is?" He said, with a blank expression, his voice dark and unaffected. But inside, those words made him feel a pang, a deep pain in his heart recriminating him. It was a raw desperation and disappointment, because the moment had finally come, when she didn't want to keep up with him anymore. And he had always thought he would be able to see it coming, the moment when she'd pronounce those words, but he was wrong, being still far from understanding how she felt. And that was only his mistake, because he had to fight his lack of empathy if things were going to work properly between the two of them, and he had failed miserably. A helpless kind of terror had risen up in him, but it was too late.

Fay couldn't see the hurt in his eyes, so she couldn't understand any of that. And in that moment it was okay, because if she came to see what he was actually feeling, regret would be added to her pile of tortuous worries.

"You're being unfair" She said, so quietly that he got it by reading her lips more than by hearing her voice. But what she actually wanted to say was: You're being hypocrite.

If she had a friend he didn't like it was a problem and he was right, but if she expressed the slightly bit of jealousy towards a girl who had feelings for him and who was constantly trying to bother her, she was plainly stupid, and that was unfair, and that was hypocrisy.

"Fine by me Fay, so whatever you want…for once, I won't try to stop you" He said dryly while looking at her.

And so, she decided to leave. If he really didn't care, she didn't have the strength to go against it. And feeling defeated as if he had just crushed her heart right in front of her eyes, she walked to the door without looking at him, but with a deep pain in her chest. She didn't want to go, but it was something she desperately needed to do, not being able to ponder at the moment what was more painful, being away or being at his side. When the door closed behind her, her first thought was that she was going to die, that her heart had already stopped, so she ran, trying to erase the aching feeling. Maybe the worst part was that this time there were no excuses, he didn't act impulsively letting his control slip from his hands, at least not entirely. This time he was fully aware of his actions and words, it was his will to hurt her even if just with words, and she felt the tears were never going to stop.

* * *

><p><strong>Done! Thank you for reading.<strong>

I know a lot of people can't stand this type of relationships of going up and down, and a weak girl and everything, but that's exactly what I wanted to write so hope you like it anyway :3 though things will change a little bit from next chapter on, I can't say exactly for good, but they'll definitely change :P


	26. Chapter 26

**Sorry for the delay! I just don't have much free time right now, but I'm still working on this. Hope you like it and thank you for reading. ^^**

* * *

><p>She stared at the reflection in the mirror not being able to recognize the girl in front of her. Altogether, including her eyes framed by long lashes, red and recently glossed lips, straightened smooth hair and gorgeous blue dress were a mockery for how she was feeling. The only accuracy about the image were her eyes. The supposed window to the soul, and it seemed a more truthful statement now, because just like her eyes reflected, she felt her soul was torn.<p>

A tear spilled, making its way down her rosy cheek, and she didn't seem to notice. There was no actual difference after two days, as for when the tears were in or out, it all felt the same. The constant pain in the throat, sting in the eyes and weight in the chest made everything really confusing.

A tender finger brushed the tear away. "You're going to ruin your makeup." Petunia said trying to be gentle but the frown on her forehead said more than her forced and half-hearted smile.

Fay felt somehow guilty. Because she couldn't handle her feelings alone, because she had to bring all her problems over her friends so they could help her get through them, because their thoughts about Filip were even worse than before; and all of that made her feel troubled. She had cried for hours next to Gili without even saying a word, just releasing the need to ease her burden. And aside from convincing Fay of going to the school dance with them, Petunia had tried her best to keep quiet, slipping just once in a while a few offensive words towards the _self-centered idiot_ who only seemed to care about himself and about making Fay cry.

As for Fay, she never, not even once thought of Filip in that way. She did what she did because she was in reality very tired, as if her chest was going to explode with all the things she wanted to say but didn't dare. However, she was not tired of him; even if it was difficult and sometimes her heart felt heavy, he was the one to make her the happiest and not being together was way too painful. And then, after what they said and after she ran away, the only remaining thought was the one telling that she had ruined it all, that thanks to her insecurity they could never be together again. He hadn't tried to reach her since that day. And if he didn't want to know about her, she just didn't have the guts to approach him and risk her heart to the worst. One more time, her cowardice was her undoing.

* * *

><p>By the end of the afternoon the three of them were ready and looking beautiful. Fay was wearing a ruched high-waisted dress. It was Egyptian blue with a black crossed belt and black high heels, which she had been wearing all day to learn how to walk without stumble with every step. The moments when she felt better were few, but they actually laughed a lot with the heels, with Petunia teaching her two friends how to walk straight and Fay tripping every now and then. They finally mastered the art of walking on more than one inch and were ready to go out and have fun. Even though, Fay accepted to go with her friends only because she knew refusing their invitation meant ruining their night as well. But they had already done enough, it was time for her to do a little effort and pretend everything was alright.<p>

Petunia straightened Fay's hair and let it loose. Only a small and shiny blue pin holding a few strands of her hair at one side. She had never straightened her hair before, it made her look quite elegant and pretty, she allowed herself to admit it, but it was just a vain thought.

"Be careful when you take this off…the edges are really spiky." The blue haired girl said gently to her friend while fixing the pin so it would stay in place all night.

Petunia was looking gorgeous in a high-waisted strapless dress, it had a black top and circle navy-blue skirt. Her hair was loose with soft curls on the tips falling over her shoulders. Fay thought that looking pretty was an every-day thing for Petunia, but that night she was more than perfect, she was shining, like a princess, or a fairy.

Gilli's dress was an adorable black and grey tartan wrap top and a black full skirt. A dark gray bow on her hair was the perfect match for the outfit. Fay stared at them mesmerized; they both looked so happy, beautiful and eager that it even made her feel a bit better.

* * *

><p>After arriving at the event Fay didn't feel too excluded; most of their friends didn't follow the unwritten rule of getting a date for the night, the only obvious exception being the pair of Petunia and Harrie. So there was no reason for her to feel lonely, except for the fact that the person who had chosen the dress for her wasn't there.<p>

"You two don't expect to spend the whole night sitting around, are you?" Said Petunia to her two girlfriends after the first hour. She was clearly enjoying her time with her boyfriend but not being able to ignore a struggling Gili trying to raise Fay's mood, which was having the opposite effect and now there were two depressed faces at the table.

"Fay wants to be here with me." Gili said with a playful smile. "And since she's the best date I've ever had, I'm enjoying myself."

Petunia smiled while rolling her eyes and sitting next to them. "You could have had a real date, you know? If it wasn't for your stubbornness."

"Yeah. I don't know what you're talking about." Replied the pink haired girl, faking ignorance.

"I'm talking about you, looking as uncomfortable as ever every time Cody approached you to ask you to come with him, it was so obvious that he didn't even dare Gili, I can't believe you treated him that way, you're supposed to be his best friend."

Gili blushed as her eyes grew bigger. She knew her situation perfectly well, it was not necessary hearing about it from her friend. "That's it. I'm supposed to be his _best friend._" In her face a mix of embarrassment and pain, or maybe regret. Fay still didn't quite understood why Gili didn't admit she liked Cody and accepted his feelings. But she wasn't one to talk, sometimes things are more complicated than they seem.

"You really should realize it already, because tomorrow it's going to be too late." Petunia said to her, all joking aside, this time she was talking seriously.

* * *

><p>After Petunia realized she hadn't helped much, but instead the mood had turned even more uncomfortable, it was Gili and Fay alone again. That, until Fay spotted Cody staring at them, obviously trying to gather the last bit of courage to ask Gili to dance with him without jeopardizing the remaining of their friendship and his pride. Fay had felt guilty all night for keeping Gili at her side, knowing well that she was the kind who would be jumping all over the place the entire night dancing and chatting with everybody.<p>

She wasn't at her best, but so far, it would had been a lot better if they all had stayed home. The promise about making an effort wasn't being accomplished, so it was time to stop being selfish and try a bit harder. Her eyes were tired, her whole body was in pain for all the crying; it was inconveniently exhausting to cry that much, on top of that, letting the heel practice for the last day was repaying and they were getting pretty uncomfortable, but she had to try and help her friend, just like she had done so many times, maybe she just needed a little push towards what she really wanted and didn't realized it yet.

The rattle of the chair against the floor as Fay stood up brusquely startled Gili making her blink at her friend. Fay leaned down to talk to her closely so she could catch her words over the music.

"I have to do something for a bit, I'll be right back." Fay spoke rapidly and then hasted away, leaving a disconcerted Gili with her mouth half open. The pink haired girl turned around to see the blonde boy looking at her eager and shyly. That was more than enough to make her flash a bright and nervous smile.

Fay rushed between the people trying to look for a place to hide. Maybe if she escaped for a few minutes to a quiet place she could feel better. There was no deception behind it, she knew perfectly well that the moment she left all the noise back she would be able cry again, and let it all out. But that's exactly what she had to do in order to relax a little, having held it in all day, it was already a need.

The closest bathroom wasn't an option, there would be girls going in and out all night. The other option was to walk to the one at the end of the hallway; she only had to go through it, through the completely dark and lonely hallway, with nothing around but the walls throwing back the echoes of her steps.

While she walked straight, with nothing in mind but the image of the dark corridor ahead, she found Spencer passing by among the crowd. She doubted for a second and her steps slowed down. And before having the opportunity of thinking it twice her hand was already reaching for him.

The blue haired boy was heading back to his date when he felt someone pulling from his sleeve and turned around to find a lovely looking Fay with long hair flowing around her, perfectly fit blue dress and a slightly disconcerted look on her face. He found himself a bit at a loss for words at how stunning she looked, which was something unusual for him. But there was no way he could overlook her cloudy and puffy eyes and it dragged him back to reality.

"Hi." She greeted awkwardly while smiling after he stared at her without saying a word. Fortunately things were back to normal between them since it was so natural for him to act as if nothing had happened, dragging her along with his carefree personality and jokes. But the way she approached him still felt somewhat strange for both of them.

"Fay." He smiled back and his eyes traveled from her face to the hem of her dress and all the way up again. The usual and so expected blush tinged her cheeks of pink as blood rushed quickly.

"Wha-what?!" She complained giving a look around and feeling uncomfortable.

"What? If you dress like this you can't expect to keep the stares away."

She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips impatiently, trying to hold her smile. There was no way she was going to fall for something like that and he already knew it, mostly because she never seemed to be able to accept a compliment from anyone, but it was always entertaining. "I can expect a bit of discretion. So stop joking around."

He laughed light-heartedly as always and it was somehow like a breath of fresh air. "Okay, just let me tell you that you look great today." He talked and then gave her a hug and she realized how, even after all the times they had shared together, sometimes she felt perfectly comfortable around him and other times she felt just too self-conscious and awkward to be close to him. It was odd, but she slowly had come used to it.

"So how are you?" He said while placing his hand on top of her head, but looking at her eyes was more than enough to know the answer. "Not too well, huh?"

"I-I'm fine." She shook her head and laughed it off, though she knew it was pretty obvious, but it was better not to talk, neither think about it. Just the minimum reminder made her feel an awful emptiness in her chest and an unbearable pain stuck in her throat, that altogether made her so frail that it was as though she was going to break into little bits right there and then. The prickle in her eyes made her look away.

Spencer sighed; he didn't even need an answer.

"I've heard from Petunia that Gili is bragging about you being her date? What's that all about?"

"It's kind of true."

She smiled while averting his eyes, and despite looking so pretty her eyes reflected such fatigue that he could only feel sorry for her. But he was tired of trying to tell her she deserves better. It was like trying to break through a thick barrier of blindness that didn't allow her to see it wasn't right to be treated that badly.

"Fay, you…" He tenderly cupped her cheek with his hand, and he just wanted her to look at him in the eye, but it felt like the mood had suddenly changed and she wasn't sure she liked it. The earnest in his voice was so unusual that it made her feel out of place. It was as though the world had turned upside down and suddenly he was a different person, standing right in front of her, making her feel weird. She gave a step back feeling flustered. The boy gently held her wrist avoiding her to get any further and she didn't feel like fighting him back anymore.

Her cheeks felt hot and she stared into his eyes trying to figure out what was going on as her heart beat faster. But the only thing she could find in her mind was the empty feeling that overpowered everything else inside her. Her lips trembled a little and her beats raced to the point of being painful.

Not realizing for how long they were standing in front of each other, Spencer tried to lighten all the thoughts that were going through his mind, because he knew how much he would regret it if he made a mistake because of a mere impulse. Hurting Fay was definitely not his intention, but he wasn't in the best of the situations either. Nonetheless he leaned closer, slowly surrendering to feelings that could as well had always been there or be just the result of the spur of the moment. He didn't know. His stare traveled from her eyes, wide and scary, to her full lips, so inviting and provocative that the urge to kiss her increased more.

He had come to love her as a friend, and ever since he knew her, he felt attracted by her innocent and cute personality. But being aware of how things didn't seem to get better for her, it all made him feel a protective instinct so strong that it confused him. Not being able to tell if it was just sympathy towards a friend or something more.

But could he really make her happier? Give her something less selfish than the presumptuous idea of being better than someone else? Being honest with himself, he already knew the answer to that question. He wasn't ready yet to give her what she deserved. That alone was enough to make it clear. His body closed the gap between them. His arms surrounded her neck drawing her closer so her face rested on his chest, and after hearing the short sigh of relief that escaped her lips followed by a soft sob his good judgment came back to him.

What she needed was comfort and someone able to make her feel that everything was going to be fine. They both knew that kiss had been just too close but yet she trusted him even more.

"I'm sorry." He muttered looking down at her.

She was going to say it was okay but shook her head and smiled instead, because it seemed more reassuring that way. Anyway, there was a moment there when she wavered too.

"Hmm…Fay." They both turned to look at Gili who stopped in her tracks when she found her friend, finding the scene to be rather strange. She doubted for a moment. "Can…you come with me?"

Fay lifted her eyes towards the pink haired girl, noting the concern on her face.

"Sure."

"Are you okay?" Fay asked Gili after letting Spencer behind.

"I'm okay, but…he's here." She glanced at Fay while nervously rubbing the nap of her neck. "But you don't have to go."

"Wh-where?" Fay exhaled sharply, slightly gasping.

"Outside, in the parking entrance."

"Okay…" Fay's eyes shifted to the door. "Thank you."

"Wait."

Fay responded with a smile. There was no sense in telling her she didn't have to go, because it was not true.

It was excitement and fear and happiness what lead her. She didn't even care what would happen, she didn't even think if he was there to tell her to break up. She just wanted to see him again.

Fay stood at the door and found him immediately, lying against the wall, wearing black jeans and t-shirt, hands in his pockets. It felt like a memory, really distant and unreal, but so soothing.

Her heels clacked on the asphalt ground of the parking lot as she walked to him. But he didn't look at her, his eyes were staring ahead, lost into something else.

Her heart was beating rapidly and the mix of anxiety and excitement caused a somersault in her stomach. Filip still didn't acknowledge her. She wondered if it was because he was angry at her.

Fay breathed icily, hesitantly walking forward. His blank and empty stare finally turned to look at her.

"Fay." He said as if he had just noticed her, wrapping his arms tightly around the girl, and causing her to blink in surprise. Clearly his reaction was a relief, and she felt way lighter.

Filip, meanwhile, couldn't think straight, the only thing he knew for sure was that he needed her, that she was that special something keeping his mind from going to the darkest places.

The red haired girl blinked away tears that fell freely down her cheeks. Filip placed his hands at both sides of her face, large and glassy amber eyes shot back to his. A shy and trembling smile spread on her lips but the tears didn't stop flowing, and he smiled back. Seeing her lovely face again, reminded him that he couldn't live without her.

"I thought I wasn't going to find you…" The boy touched her face and hair lightly, his fingers running over her skin in a mix of delicacy and desperation, as though he were checking she was in reality in front of him. "I missed you so much." His voice was a whisper and Fay could see his maddened eyes wide, searching for something in hers. It was obvious he wasn't completely in his right mind and the smell of alcohol on his breath only confirmed that fact. She didn't recognize the smell, it was definitely not beer, it was less sour and sweeter, but with a stronger scent of alcohol. Then again, she didn't care about that, even if that was the first time she saw him in that state.

"Don't leave me, okay?" He asked in a plea with a look of deep worry and concern in his glistening eyes, which made her feel a twinge of pain in her chest.

"No, I…di-didn't, I won't!" She answered, holding his hands, trying to calm his uneasiness and assuring him that she was there with him and wasn't going to go anywhere else.

He leaned down, but paused, his eyes still locked to hers. And because she wasn't sure if she'd be able to kiss him again, she let go, kissing him fully in the lips. Her hands moving on their own accord and twisting into his hair, pulling him closer, her mouth opening, her tongue stroking his. His hand grasped the nape of her neck as he deepened the kiss, responding to her. His other hand slid down her back as he pushed her against his body. "It's not over." He breathed between kisses but suddenly pulled back.

He released the girl and his green orbs flickered. "But…why?" He questioned darkly and Fay regretted being in such a close distance with him. He grabbed a handful of her hair, tightening painfully. "Why did you have to escape from me?" His hoarse voice sounded completely alien to her after the prior sweetness. And the next thing she knew, a loud bang was heard, giving her just time enough to close her eyes tightly and then a thin line of blood fell down her face from her temple to her neck. She blinked. His face was close to hers, his eyes bored into hers. Her body was frozen but she felt nothing. His fist against the wall at her left was what caused the noise, his other hand was tightening on a loose strand of her hair along with the pin she was wearing, so hard that it made a deep cut on his skin.

A gasp, muffled by the sudden raise of the music volume that leaked through the open door, made Fay turn to her side to see Gili, hesitantly looking at them with her hand covering her mouth.

"Wha-wha…" She mumbled as her face grew pale.

"No, Gili…" Fay said while grabbing Filip's left hand, taking it away from her hair which he meekly left her do. But promptly his fingers were running from her cheek down her neck and until her chest, totally plunged into his own thoughts, seemingly ignorant of the world around them, smearing his own blood on her skin and making the scene look worse. "It's his hand, he-he hurt his hand, I'm okay." She tried to explain while her hands were occupied in a futile attempt of making him stay still.

With all the tears and blood the whole scene looked too bizarre, but Gili realized he was really drunk when she bumped into him before, when she was looking for Fay, although that only made her worry even more, since he was acting like a total lunatic.

"Gili, seriously it's okay." Fay smiled at her friend, with the intention of making her go away.

Filip stubbornly tried to make Fay's face to turn at him again with a weak touch on her cheek that didn't seem to give any result and it started to annoy him that somebody else was getting her attention. His glare harshly turned towards Gili who felt her breathing getting caught in her throat when their eyes met. Dark gleaming and threatening emerald eyes staring at her.

It definitely scared her, her eyes shifted to Fay who kept telling her everything was okay.

Finally feeling defeated, Filip let go of Fay and sat on the floor next to her. He stared at Gili again while running his unwounded hand through his hair, and it was like looking to a completely different person. Compared from before, he looked tired and desperate. Gili didn't understand why he was staring at her in that way. But it made her feel an urge to help him, as though she were seeing a lost kid, begging for help.

Fay ran to her and she was vaguely aware of her shaky words. Repeating herself again, that she was okay, that she could handle it, and Gili had no other option than agreeing.

The red haired girl walked slowly to him again and sat at his side. He was looking down, his head between his hands.

"Wh-what's wrong?" She said while reaching her hand to him, gesture that caused him to shift immediately, avoiding her touch.

"Wait."

"What?" She asked confused.

"Just…wait." His breathing became edgy. "If…If I touch you again you'll…disappear."

"What are you talking about?" She talked gently and tried to approach him again but his eyes were now frantic and pleading, full of fear.

The sight made her heart ache painfully. It was so strange, because she was always weak and it was him who comforted her every time even if he was the cause of her concern. Never the other way around.

"I-I…won't disappear. So please don't say something like that. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere."

She moved closer to him really slowly, cupping his face with dainty fingers. "Okay?" She whispered and his heart began to accelerate as his body tightened beneath her. His eyes widened, panicked. She placed her arms around his chest and he became rigid.

Her whole body was shaking, because she needed him to go back to his usual self, because she didn't have the strength to be the strong one. Her head rested on his chest and she could hear his heart beating rapidly. It was soothing to hear the rhythmic throbs becoming more slow-paced after a while. "I don't want you to stay away. I want you to touch me, and hug me. So please don't say that."

He started to feel the air comfortably filling his lungs as her breathing matched his. Her warmth fading away the fear, because she was there, and she was real. He could close his eyes and think about nothing else while his arms surrounded her. That was all he needed. It wasn't painful to breath anymore.


	27. Chapter 27

**I can't thank you enough for reading this (ridiculously long) story. I seriously love you all! :3**

Missafrolatina** that actually sounds really funny, you could make your own story with that kind of Flaky, I would definitely like to read something like that :P**

**A few reminders:**

**- Ed, Edmund Lumpkin, Mr. Lumpkin, Uncle Ed: Lumpy (Filip's uncle)**

**- Leia: Filip's mother**

**- Filip's mother died from an overdose when he was 10 years old and they weren't sure if it was something she made in the middle of her delusions or if it was her full will to commit suicide.**

* * *

><p>Everything seemed bright on the fresh and sunny morning as soft beams of light filtered through the curtains. Fay's eyes sparkled with life while she put her recently rinsed hair up in a ponytail by a blue ribbon and walked to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Finally being able to have a nice night of sleep had been great for her mind and body.<p>

While putting the ingredients together she hummed a song from a commercial she had just heard from the TV. It was getting boring not having Filip around. It had been so close to an end that she only wanted to spend some time together before the weekend ended. It caused her to feel anxious but it still wasn't enough to ruin her good mood.

It became noon and she started to get seriously disturbed. Fillip usually got up early every day. But he probably was hung-over, and strangely it was something she wanted to see.

Tired of being quiet and cautious, she walked to the bedroom to find a peacefully sleeping boy, looking adorable and defenseless, face down resting on the pillow that was being hugged by his arms. It looked so comfortable that she felt envious and the urge of abruptly waking him up was too strong to resist.

The girl playfully hopped on the bed and her light weight was enough to make the mattress sway under their bodies. She noticed that his eyebrows knitted together slightly under his tousled hair, but that was as much reaction as she could get from him.

Feeling clearly unsatisfied with the way things were going, she sighed and leaned down to take a better look at him. She gazed at his sleeping face, peaceful and relaxed, not restraining herself from touching his long lashes. A small smile twisted the corner of her lips. She bowed further to give him a quick peck on his cheek. It made her heart race joyfully and her face blush of a light pink.

She felt silly for being embarrassed. It was definitely not fun. Her finger found his cheek and his skin felt pleasantly soft under her touch. She bit on her lower lip while poking him lightly.

His eyes opened slowly and Fay jumped up trying to conceal her ear to ear grin.

"What...Fay?" He sleepily gazed at her and reached for a lock of red hair that fell over her shoulder. "I like your wavy hair better…You look lovely."

"Hmm…I…" A flushed Fay mumbled while gently brushing his hair off his face. "You usually don't sleep until this late." She chuckled, ignoring his previous statement.

"What did you expect? I haven't slept in three days." He scoffed while turning to his side.

"Why?" Asked Fay innocently.

"Seriously?" He covered his eyes with his arms and pursed his lips as if remembering something unpleasant.

Fay swallowed. She went through a really tough time, but she still didn't seem to get grasp of the idea that for him, it was as bad if not worse when they were not together. The thought of someone needing of her was unfamiliar but she was finally taking it in when her arm was pulled down. She shrieked in surprise when she felt herself falling next to him. His arms reached around her until embracing her tightly.

"I don't feel too well today." He complained in a childish manner and it made her giggle. He was acting so unlike him that day and it amused her greatly. "You should take care of me."

"Okay, what do you need?" She was ready to stand up but he pulled her closer into the hug and she willingly let him do so.

"First…this. Like this…for a while."

* * *

><p>"Fay...I want to tell you everything you want to know." Said the boy as he sat on the wide couch of his living room. Fay was sitting cross-legged at his side, looking at him.<p>

"You know? You don't have to. I don't care." She stated calmly. She had decided that it was no good to force him into letting her know things he still didn't want her to know. She trusted him more than anyone, she actually did, and it even surprised her a little.

He looked at Fay and smiled. "You care…And I want to tell you. You have told me so many things and it made feel close to you every time…"

He finally understood what she was feeling; it was just difficult to let her know all his worst parts. But it wasn't fair to deceive her into thinking he was good, to make her believe that she had nothing to worry if they were together. It was better to let her know the truth. It still surprised him how she chose to stand by a person like him. And if he was going to be honest with her, he had to be ready for that to change.

"Filip?" She called for his attention since he was staring at her with a blank and lost expression. He sighed.

"I don't know what to do after I tell you everything. I clearly don't want to lose you. But I don't have the strength to make you stay at my side if you just…don't want to."

"What are you saying? I always want to be with you."

"That's because you don't know me."

With those words, a new slight pain struck her. She seriously wanted to think otherwise, wanting to be the person closer to him and the one to know him the most. A part of Fay wanted to cry, but she held it in to hide her weakness, because it would be embarrassing to keep crying so easily.

"Don't misunderstand what I'm saying. You know me better than anyone. But I still have so much that I've kept from you…"

His words could easily hurt Fay and he saw that, but only by telling her his story, she would understand too. He took her hand and rested his back against the couch, his eyes down on the coffee table in front of them and then, he started to talk.

"About my mom…you wanted to know about the necklace. I know I've said I don't care about the memories but the truth is I cherish the memories I made with her, so the only thing I wanted to have from her, was her diary. It was something recommended to her by Ed, to make a diary…it contains all her thoughts. It helped her to keep track of her mind; sometimes it worked, some other times reading it only made her feel confused…One day, few months after I started living here, Ed gave me her diary and the necklace. The necklace was a gift from my father, the first gift he made to her and something she appreciated dearly. Ed gave it to me at school, and that same day I dropped it in class. I wasn't feeling well and Lannie asked me about it. I don't remember everything, but I ended up saying it was my mother's and that I didn't want it. I think I even told her to throw it away for me."

He paused for a moment, Fay was quietly listening next to him. Even though she didn't look at him, she could feel every feeling on his words. It was so different from before, when he didn't seem to care, when he didn't seem to feel the sightless bit of pain at the memory of his life with his family. The sorrow he felt was outspoken and for Fay it was overwhelming yet welcomed. The thought of asking him to stop entered her mind briefly, but it was his way of unburden himself, she sensed he wanted to do it.

"Lannie put it around her neck, and told she would keep it for me instead. That the day I wanted it back I just had to ask her for it. I thought it was weird for her to say that, but in the end I figured she just wanted to be considerate, and I honestly didn't care about that thing, so I said nothing."

"No long after, I saw her wearing it. I told her she shouldn't, that it was annoying. She just took it off, I thought she looked hurt by my words, but I just let it go. Since then, she never wore it again. But I didn't give it a second thought, she's stubborn, probably she just never let me see it again or I failed at paying attention. Sometimes I can't keep up with what she's thinking. Even if she's normally so easy to read."

Fay glanced up at him from under her lashes and he seemed to be focused on his recollections. She knew Lannie kept wearing it because she saw it more than once but she honestly didn't care anymore.

"I don't know what you've been thinking, and I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but there's never been someone like you in my life, and I've never thought of Lannie as more than a friend. You should know she started to pretend she liked me because she felt betrayed by the person she wanted to be with, but it isn't real, she's just too thick. She even used to tell me stories, all kind of stories about them while I pretended I wasn't listening. In the end we somehow started to get along, because she felt lonely and her babbling actually kept me distracted."

He glanced at the girl next to him and she nodded. Fay was thinking that even if Lannie started pretending, it seemed pretty real for her. She wondered if Filip just refused to believe it, or if it was just all an act from her. She also wondered if that other person was Spencer.

"It's not…that I don't trust you."

"Either way, I promise you I won't let that bother you again."

"That? You mean, with Lannie? I don't want you to tell her anything. I'm fine."

"I'll just talk to her, she can't keep doing this and I most definitely won't accept that she picks on you. It'd be good for her too."

"I-I guess…I don't know her, you do."

"There is really nothing else, you know, right?"

"Yeah, it's not that. I just…I guess I got jealous but I believe you. I don't really know how to explain it. There were things that made me feel insecure…but that's something I do. I-I always find something that makes me feel down."

"I don't want you to feel that way. Not with me."

She stared at him and this time his attention was entirely on her. His gaze was deep and inquisitive. It made her feel intimidated.

"Why…do you always forgive me Fay?"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"You always forgive me. No matter what I do…why?"

She shifted uncomfortably and grabbed some strands of her hair with her free hand, nervously covering her mouth with them. "Th-that's…" Her eyes avoided him while the locks of hair fell at her side again. "Because I…love you." She said under her breath and thought he hadn't heard her, although it was more of an expectation.

"I don't know what to think when I'm with you." He pulled her into a hug and gave a content smile. It was so hard to accept the way she felt about him, no matter how many times he thought about it, there probably was something wrong with her head. And he loved it. "I love you too."

"Well…" He continued. "I have that diary if you want to see it. I like to read it…sometimes."

"I'd love to see it. But if I get to know something about you, I only want to hear it from you."

"Ed says I like you so much because you're as great as my mother was, and he also says that is the reason why he likes you too." He laughed, because he could see it, how Fay's kindness and warmth was alike his mother's. "But even though I can see the similarity he sees between you two, for me what makes you different is more obvious, and I think you're much greater."

It was true in many ways. In Fay he only saw things to love, but there had always been a thought in his mind that he liked to avoid. And although he never dared to say it, there was no sense in denying it, because he had always seen his mother as an extremely selfish person and that wasn't going to change.

The red haired girl wanted to say something in response but had no idea how to respond to something like that. She just listened mindfully to everything he had to say. Filip heard a big part of the story from Ed but he remembered it well. His mother, Leia, was a young nurse when she met Filip's father. Occasionally she would work as a volunteer at a child foundation that helped orphan children victims of violence. It was no rare that army members were sent to support the cause from time to time. There is where she met him. After two years she was already married and expecting her first child. It seemed she had found her fairy tale ending, but soon things changed. Her family had a brief history of depression and schizophrenia. With her husband being away most of the time and not being allowed to go outside if it weren't for occasional shopping, she started to show signs of major depressive disorder. Apparently he didn't like it, and the way he proceeded didn't help with her situation either. For him she was just an ill person, a disappointment. If she felt well enough and took the correct amount of medication he'd take her to some social event with him, but that pretty much summarized their relationship. It broke her little by little and her mental state only got worse, developing psychosis, hallucinations and anxiety attacks. Ed always said it was pretty unfortunate, since the people who were treating her only found solution to her symptoms on keeping her tranquilized.

She used to have dreams like the ones Fay had some times. Night Terrors that tormented her during nighttime. Only hers were more frequent and led her to hurt herself in her sleep more than once.

About Filip, she took good care of him. He was all she had left after all. During the first two to three years of his life she was a perfectly loving mother whenever her condition allowed it and under strict supervision. But after that time, she started to lose more and more pieces of her mind. There were days when she barely recognized her own son. Either way, even the days when she didn't remember him at all, she was always nice to him. They cooked together and took care of the garden together when she felt in a good mood, because that was what she liked to do the most.

Filip was happy at her side, he was willing to take care of her as long as he was able to be with her. He didn't remember spending time with his father, only acknowledging his existence for the casual encounters they had around that big, hollow house. Leia even started to block the memories about her husband, even though she loved him so much, but that didn't seem to affect him.

His uncle Ed visited from time to time, even though he couldn't stand the atmosphere on that prison-like house. Filip enjoyed his visits. His mom seemed to feel better after talking with Uncle Ed.

That's how he spent his childhood. He didn't go out with friends to play in the park, he didn't share time watching a baseball game with his dad. He just studied and made company to Leia, reading a story for her, trying a new recipe or taking care of her flowers.

Fay was so plunged into the story that she almost didn't realized when he stopped talking. When the silence finally reached she turned to look at him a bit alarmed but he immediately continued.

"That was about it. I told you she died when I was ten. One day I arrived home and they didn't let me go see her, but Ed was there. He told me what had happened, and he stayed with me until I got a bit better. I know I loved her, and even if I tried, I've understood that I really don't want to forget about her, it's just…I guess a part of me has always resented her, for leaving me alone."

Fay nodded slowly and moved closer to him. She could almost see the small child with tears welling from his emerald eyes and her heart ached painfully. She wanted to cry for him, to embrace him tightly. But she just couldn't.

"The rest of the story is about how I got here. But that isn't something I want you to know."

She felt weird. Uneasy but calm at the same time. Listening to his voice was soothing but she could feel his anxiety and it was unsettling. After she found her voice again, she spoke. "I told you, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

"No. I have to. Because only after that, you'll realized the kind of person I am, and I'll be lucky if you ever look at me again."

"That won't happen."

"Fay…I only want you to know, that I love you and I'd do anything for you." He regarded her eagerly. "But if you happen to want to forget about me, I'd have to go away, and I'll do it…for you. If not, I'll end up hurting you."

"I already told you I-"

"Fay." He interrupted. "I need you to understand that. Because it's real."

She leaned closer, resting her head on his shoulder, her eyes closed and her fingers tightening around his. She was crazy about him, there was no possible way of thinking that she would want him to leave.

"I-I understand."

"Do you?"

She inhaled deeply and raised her head to look straight at him. "Yes, I do."

He nodded. "Okay…"

Filip saw her determination, and it wasn't something that could lighten the weight on his chest. But he already had made a decision.

"I never got along very well with other kids at school even when she was alive. But it didn't seem to be a problem because I never got into troubles. After her death, Ed asked me to at least take therapy with him. He told me it would help me to sleep better, but I didn't want to talk about her. Things started to get difficult at school. Getting into fights, missing classes, acting as if everyone was my enemy, it all became a hobby. The teachers were pretty understanding at the beginning, since I had been through a lost. But it became more frequent and my behavior became more violent so…I got expelled from three schools before coming here and my family was even sued by one of the other kid's parents."

"The last school wasn't a nice, high-class place like the other two. My father thought of it as a punishment for me. But I didn't really care. I was around fifteen at that time. One night…it was already really late and I was trying to find a cab to go home, but it was a quite dangerous area. A boy stopped me and asked for money."

"I didn't mind giving him what I had in my pockets. I had been drinking with some guys from school, so I just gave him what I had left. I don't remember well but he then asked me for my phone. I pushed him aside and refused to give him anymore. He then drew a knife but it didn't work out well for him."

Fay tightened his hand trying to make him feel safe, his breathing became shallow and she could almost hear his voice trembling a little but he recovered.

"I…don't know how it happened. I beat him but I don't remember anything. I remember flashes of images from when I reacted but he was already on the floor. I hit him badly and there was blood…on him, on me…"

His voice trailed off, his hands were shaking and the way he was gripping Fay's hand started to get painfully tight.

"It-it wasn't your fault. He attacked you."

"Fay…that kid." He looked away. It was almost as if the memory tortured him to the point of almost breaking him apart. "He died."

The girl remained speechless, new disturbed emotions building in her chest as she felt his hand trembling under hers. It wasn't almost breaking him, it was literally breaking his sanity. A memory that haunted him persistently and didn't let him move on. She suddenly felt afraid that she was not enough, that she wouldn't be able to take him out of that deep hole that was consuming him.

"He was around seventeen, he probably was scared and I killed him. I panicked and called home. My father sent someone for me and told me he'd take care of it. Of course I didn't trust him but I didn't know what to do. He didn't let me know the boy's name, anything about it, he just told me that I was lucky the people he hired got there in time to take care of it and that he wasn't going to allow any more stupid mistakes. Nobody had told me, but I knew…I knew he was dead when I saw the boy lying motionless at my feet. I rebelled, I wanted to give myself in and he locked me, there were people around me every day telling me I was sick, but that I was going to get better. When I got to see Ed, I begged him to tell me the truth, so he told me the boy had died after arriving to the hospital. Kids like that can easily get killed by people from another gang, and you know, if someone who has nothing in life dies, nobody cares, and if another someone is willing to pay for nobody to care, it works even better."

The air around them became thick. He knew Fay was still there because he wasn't able to let go of her hand. Aside from that, it was he and silence. A silence that crawled beneath his skin. Yet he didn't dare to look at his side and check. Not after confessing his darkest secret, not after letting her know the kind of monster he was. To meet with amber eyes full of rejection and contempt was something he cowardly wanted to avoid at all costs. He just kept talking because it was like opening a door that had been closed for way too long, and it was hard to close it again, all the things that were hidden there for so long, were forcing their way out.

"I already hated my father but I started to resent Ed. I know he wouldn't come up with something so low. But he's just so… indulgent. I don't understand him. He kept telling me it wasn't my fault. The best thing I can think of is that he feels sorry for me and that's why he lets me do whatever I want. Even though…he saved me. They kept me locked for a while in a place I didn't recognize and that I don't want to remember. They injected me all day so I don't recall much from that period of time. I don't know how, but finally Ed convinced my father to let me come with him, and I felt better. I started to take therapy with him and I took the medication he told me…most of the times…"

"Do you see it, Fay? How selfish I am. I killed a person and still I am here. Every time I felt I was moving forward, I remembered everything and thought of ending it all but I didn't dare to punish Ed while being under his care, because if I died he would blame himself. I overcame my mother's death only because there was something worse inside of me. It was like there was no more space for memories, for feelings or for yearning. I always thought that my destiny was to die young, and maybe the worst part was that I didn't care…I didn't feel fear. That's how empty my life was. Before you I only found relief in hurting other people and getting hurt myself in the way. My life had absolutely no sense until I met you. Then, I started to forget, to feel lighter. As we got closer the nightmares stopped, I didn't see the blood in my hands anymore, I didn't feel a dark shadow chasing after me day and night anymore…but eventually…it comes back, it always does, even if just from time to time it's enough to drive me into a corner…and the things I see there make me feel my chest is going to explode…"

His voice broke as he stared down at his hands, his breathing became more hitched and heavy than before. Fay though he was going to cry but it didn't happen. He knew he wasn't able of such sincere act and she somehow understood it too. But the idea of someone doing something so hideous to his wife, who loved him, and then daring to do the same to his own son; the thought of Fillip wanting to end his life, to put himself on the verge of danger over and over again just expecting it to happen, it all gave her chills and made her feel sick.

"I never had any interest on having someone in my life." He continued after recovering his breath. "I didn't want to care about anyone but then I saw you. Something about you pulled me until I wasn't able to resist you, and I don't want to lose you. But that only made me more and more selfish and despicable, and I can't avoid hating myself. I know how bad are the things that I've done and still I wanted to keep you by me. You can't imagine how despaired I feel when I think you could leave me behind, even if I repeat myself that I don't deserve you. You can't imagine the thoughts that have crossed my mind if I think of someone who dares to take you away from me. All of that, even knowing I don't deserve anything in life, even knowing I've hurt you countless time. I thought it was okay it you were afraid of me, I never figured you'd want to stay with me after all the things we went through from the very beginning. I kept waiting and fearing at the same time, the moment you'd go away and never come back, but you never did…I knew all of this and still I let you think you'd be happy with me."

He finished with a final and exhausted sigh. Fay took in everything he said, everything he was trying to convey. She inhaled deeply and realized it was hard since she was already shedding tears. It was painful but a part of her felt glad and relieved, because there was no way for her to understand his fear if she didn't know all of that. The hate he felt towards himself was too heavy and the need to cry for him took hold of her heart. But she would accept it all, with his secrets, with his feeling, with his faults, all of it.

She knelt up and delicately cupped his face. There was a sudden boost of courage within her and she wasn't going to let it vanish. She realized it wasn't only his hands but his entire body that was shaking. His eyes were dull and cloudy, but for once, he wasn't able to hide the excruciating feelings gnawing at him. She spoke softly. "What I feel for you scares me…only because it's something so strong that my biggest fear is to lose you, and I don't know what would happen with me if you leave me. And I want you to know that I adore you so deeply, that there is no possible way or reason for me to want to be without you or to hate you…I don't care what you think about yourself, how badly you try to make me think you're harmful for me. Because you said it, I do know you, and I trust you're real with me. That's how I know how warm and gentle you can be, and that's how I'm able to love you so much. So I'll keep telling you that I love you, until you realize."

She stopped for a moment, to gaze into his eyes, as his wordlessly asking him if he understood what she was saying.

"Why…why would somebody like you be here with me? And cry for me? Why are you willing to do something like that for me? You…being here for me is a mistake." He said while losing himself into her deep pools of amber. And it was there, like always, that feeling of relief and affection that at all times made him forget everything but that was getting so hard to embrace. "And I'll always cherish this. This warmth…but I don't deserve it."

"Please…listen to me." Fay made her way closer to him and wiped her tears with her knuckles. "From now on…I want you to listen to my feelings, just like I would listen to yours. I…I want to share my grief and my happiness with you. All the pain, the fear, the misunderstandings, I want to know about it. So that we can cope with them…together. I want us to be together. To laugh and to cry, and to worry together. I want to face everything beside you…I know you want me to understand, but you have to try to understand me as well. Okay?"

He shook his head and stifled a smile. "It'd be hard." He sighed as he closed the small gap that was left between them, planting kisses on her lips and down her neck. "You're very tiring."

Fay chuckled. "You're one to talk." She whispered before capturing his lips with hers.

The way he kissed her was different. It made her feel his fear and his yearning for her. It was a kind of fear that even she was not familiar with. It made her shiver but she already loved it. His lips, his touch, everything about him and the way he needed her. She knew it, it was too late. If she wasn't able to take him out from that hell, she would simply burn along with him. But it was okay, if they were together, everything would be okay. She just needed to look into his eyes one more time.

As she withdrew a few inches from him, he pulled from the blue ribbon that was holding her hair, causing it to fall freely around her shoulders.

Gazing at the piece of fabric on his hand, Fay remembered.

"I'm sorry." She gasped.

"What for?"

"I kept tightening on your hand, and I didn't remember you were hurt."

"It doesn't matter."

"But it hurt."

"Yes, and it doesn't matter. If it's you, I don't care if it's painful." He said quietly, staring sweetly at the girl he loved.

She scowled. "But I don't want it to be that way…so I won't hurt you again."

That was her statement and her promise, because Fay had always been a weak person, but just for him, she felt she could be and do anything, so she could be strong, and she could be what he needed.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28~**

* * *

><p>"So, now what?" Asked Gili to Fay on the phone.<p>

Since the school dance many things had changed but the pink haired girl was just glad everything seemed to be getting better.

"Now…nothing. We go back to normal." Fay answered while she packed her school bag for the next day. It had been a good week and there wasn't really much to expect. Her life as it had been for almost a year was about to change, but she had the feeling that this time everything was going to be fine. Still, she felt the need to talk to someone.

Gili was by far her most trustworthy person. She was a girl, she was really understanding, and more importantly, she didn't take things too seriously, and Fay really appreciated that, because otherwise it would scare her, and she already had enough of that by herself.

Firstly, they had to talk about the new relationship. Gili had finally made it. Surprisingly enough she was the one to take the first step with Cody. It wasn't an exciting new, it was more like something so expected that everyone got tired of waiting, and when it finally happened, only Fay's eyes seemed to glow in excitement.

They also talked about how Fay wasn't going to leave with Filip. Gili didn't think she was too sure about that decision, even though she was happy her friend was going to stay. Fay surely didn't want to be apart, but she didn't want to chase after him either. He was deciding his life and she too, had to decide. She have never done something like that, something that seemed so hard, so she preferred not thinking about it and just let it happen.

The true was that the seemingly weak and shy red haired girl was a pretty independent person, and it all changed when she was around Filip but it was still who she truly was. However, the issue that was troubling her, was the talk she had with Mr. Lumpkin.

He had called her, to talk about Filip, and about the plans she had, straightforwardly asking her what she wanted to do. She told him the truth and he said he was glad. Basically he talked about being worried, and about how they needed to have some boundaries, and some time apart would be good for both of them. She felt it as though he had already made all the decisions for her. It didn't upset her, but it felt weird.

He also said that Filip had never learnt how to depend on someone, so being with Fay could become difficult, for both of them. And up to that point it was pretty clear for Fay that he had no idea how to depend on someone, and it was the same for her, they just had very different ways of dealing with it. He being possessive, and she being needy. It confused her, making her think she was bad for him, harmful even. Thinking there's actually a correct way of loving someone made her feel clueless. Gili stayed unusually quiet during the whole conversation, she was just as inexperienced and confused as her friend so there wasn't any real help she could provide. She too, struggled for a long while, being so cowardly afraid of losing the person she loved the most, to the point of denying her own feelings and even hurting his.

Fay was okay with that, she wasn't asking for answers, she never expected to find them easily, she just needed to talk to someone about it. Because she surely wouldn't mention it to Filip, even though his uncle's call hadn't had anything to do with her decision, she just felt he was better off not knowing.

* * *

><p>"Fine…I get it, okay?" Said the girl a bit irritated.<p>

The scene was not at all unusual. Just the two of them sitting in an empty classroom. This time however, was slightly different. This time he did the talking and she couldn't do anything about it. She was ready for it. It was meant to happen.

"It's not like I hate her or something." Lannie added in a softer tone. "I just thought…you were too far away. I'm the only one…who's still stuck in here..." Her voice faded into a whisper and she sighed. "What a bummer."

Filip looked at her from the teacher's desk. They talked about Fay, even though he didn't actually consider it to be necessary. It was probably just a way of saying good-bye. But he knew, or at least he thought he understood. That Lannie simply liked to be around him, because she believed they were equally lost. She was wrong. She was just stubborn and over dramatic. But it finally seemed like there was a spark of honesty in her.

"It's not like it wasn't going to end soon anyway." He said. "Our time left in this school is not long after all. And you feel alone…because of your stupid pride."

"I don't want to be preached by you." She rolled her eyes. Filip usually acted disinterested, which was somehow annoying, but she hated when he probed that he knew her well. "Anyway…I do care about you. I just never allowed myself to fall for you. I knew you wouldn't…well, I am no good for you. And you would never take me seriously anyway." She stated in a curtly manner, but it was just her way of concealing her feelings. It was already bad enough having that conversation with him.

He smiled at her effort for keeping in character. So conceited all the time. And the fact that she thought she wasn't good enough for him was even hilarious. "You're just such a spoiled brat. You are used to getting everything you want, and when it doesn't happen, you become that evil bitch that everyone hates." He laughed.

"Okay, stop it already. I'm not liking this anymore."

He raised his eyebrows but kept quiet.

"It was actually kind of hard to dislike her though." She continued. She didn't want it to end with resentment or anything like that between them, since there was enough of that already around her, and she didn't want to make a big deal out of it either. It was better to keep a light mood and make it like it was any other day. "You should give me credit for that."

"Of course Lannie, thank you for bullying my girlfriend." He stated sarcastically.

She looked up from her perfectly manicured nails at Filip, who didn't seem the slightest bit mad and it was definitely not what she was expecting. "It took you quite some time though. I always thought you were going to go berserk on me anytime soon because of her."

"I honestly thought you wouldn't bother her if she was with me and not with…you know…"

She glared at him, clearly infuriated. "No, I don't."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He said nonchalantly while looking away. She was so easy to read. "Besides, I can't keep myself from enjoying her troubled expressions." He said finally, an ecstatic smirk on his face.

Lannie frowned at him, bemused, but she couldn't avoid laughing. "Poor girl…such a sadistic bastard as a boyfriend."

Filip glanced at her with a serious expression. He knew she was joking, he just wondered if she thought he was making a joke too.

"I said I can't actually hate her…that doesn't mean I like her, okay?"

"I couldn't care less if you like her or not."

"Yeah…" She shrugged. "…I'm gonna miss you though."

"Me too."

Her eyes shot back at him wide. She couldn't believe it even if he said it.

The girl laughed out loud and he just smiled. He had always told her she was crazy, and Lannie didn't seem to be bothered about it, maybe she thought it too, but when she behaved nicely she was a good friend, the only friend he had at school actually, so it was not a lie that he could miss her. He just found it hard to care about the people around him, just recently finding out that it was actually possible.

Lannie didn't think it was too painful, just the usual nostalgia that you feel while saying good bye to a person who occupied an important span of time in your life.

* * *

><p>There were almost two weeks left until the end of school. Spencer was almost ready to leave all of that school life behind and celebrate graduation. His grades were pretty good so there was no struggling in that matter, unlike some of his classmates. The last class of the day was Calculus and the teacher was busy helping those who needed a bit of extra credit.<p>

He couldn't tell in all honesty if the way Lannie approached him that day was a pleasant or an unpleasant surprise. He would say that just the word 'surprise' was enough to describe it. Because when you have a good friend, a truly good friend, the kind of person who have heard all your secrets and who knows you even better than yourself; then no matter how much time passes, no matter how many people you've known, you can sit with that one friend to talk and the conversation will flow with such simplicity that nobody would believe you when you say you're not friends anymore.

She sat next to him with a simple _'Hi'_.

He greeted her with an equally casual attitude and smiled like he would do with anybody else. The hostility between the two was always triggered by her, just the way she looked at him, as if she hated him, made it impossible for him to treat her nicely again.

"Are you feeling nostalgic already?" Asked the girl as she placed her books on the desk, unnecessarily aligning them perfectly in front of her.

"Not really. Why?" He stopped the pen drumming against the table. The situation promised to get interesting, so he focused his full attention on her. He was just curious of knowing what was going through her mind that made her talk to him again.

"It's just strange seeing you on your own, quiet and all…"

"I'm actually excited. All these was fun, but I'm really looking forward to what's coming next."

"That's so like you."

"How so?"

"It's just…I don't even know if you ever get sad. I don't know. It's like you don't have any weakness."

He stifled his smile and looked at her. It was so weird yet so familiar that he actually started to feel that nostalgia they were talking about, though only for her. Her hair was longer than before and she was even prettier than before, she started wearing makeup and the way she dressed also changed, but her voice, her eyes, and the way she moved were the same. So it was a bit confusing, but it felt nice, it felt like old times.

"That's nice though." She spoke again, being completely unaware of the way some people started to whisper while staring at them.

"It's been a while since we talk like this." He finally said.

"Yeah…" She looked down, feeling somehow afraid that he would say he wanted nothing to do with her anymore, but inside she knew very well he wouldn't say something like that, and not even because it was about her, it was just the way he was. "Remember when we started high school? I was really nervous."

"Of course I remember. You were usually bad at meeting new people, but that time it seemed like it was going to be too much for you."

"Then you told me…that you were going to be with me always. And then I felt better."

"Yeah, I was so cute, right?"

"That's not funny, you toyed with my feelings of dreamy little girl. I truly believed you back then. You know you were everything to me."

It was even hard for her to believe that her life was like that. Her whole world really revolved around him and him alone. Spencer was always cheery and friendly, but no matter what he would always go back to her. He was the one who treated her nicely, and the one who understood her no matter how selfish she behaved. He never betrayed her and he never talked bad about her behind her back, so he became indispensable and she wallowed herself in the thought that she didn't need anyone else in her life.

"I'm sorry…but it was the same for me."

Lannie felt the blush on her cheeks and it made her feel uncomfortable. She didn't even remember the last time she blushed, it was probably in front of Filip, in one of those rare moments when he behaved surprisingly nice. But it was not the moment to be thinking about him. Her eyes raised to see Spencer's cocky smile and she didn't know if it made her want to smile back or to punch him in the face to erase that silly expression.

"Well, you totally blew it." Said the purple haired girl, raising an eyebrow and pursing her lips.

"Me? I think you were the one who stopped talking to me. That was awful, you know?"

He said jokingly, but it actually hurt him in the past. The way she started to ignore him and looking at him as if she hated him was probably the most difficult thing he went through.

"You messed up first." She said in a whisper, and it didn't sound like she was joking anymore. "You even kissed me... "

"I'm sorry."

"A bit late for that, isn't it?"

"…"

"It wasn't about the kiss. It was about the way you behaved. You were the same with me, but you acted as if I didn't exist when we were in public. Talking with other girls all the time. Saying I was just your friend…_that_ was awful for me."

He suddenly felt uncomfortable. It had become a habit to avoid thinking about those days when any memory popped up in his mind, so he didn't really remember very well anymore. What was clear was the way she said she hated him, without giving him any reasons. He tried to help her make friends, but maybe for Lannie it didn't seem that way. He just didn't realize how he unwillingly hurt her. But if she was trying to be honest, maybe it was time for him to try it too.

"I…don't know what happened…You looked so happy when you started making new friends. Before, you were so bad at relating with other girls, you didn't like them because you felt insecure around them, and they didn't like you because for them it looked like you thought you were better. And you felt so sad when something bad happened, when you weren't able to get along with someone. Until you gave up and made it seem like I was enough. But I still thought you were feeling lonely, so I wanted to make you happy."

"That didn't make me happy at all."

"You made that pretty clear."

"That was just…so stupid."

"You acted stupid too."

"I know."

"Why did you come to talk to me again?"

"I just found out today we are going to be together in college…again." She took the admission letter from her notebook, the one she had proudly kept near her since receiving it, and held it in the air for him to see it. "I didn't want it to keep like this between us."

It had been a total coincidence, but it made him really happy. One summer day, years ago, when they were only ten, they had sat under his porch and had planned a whole life together. The middle school papers were already done so the first step was just about to begin. They both lived near Happy Tree High so that was an easy decision too. They had thought about universities, and careers, and a way to make choices that didn't let them be apart for a long time, even if they didn't know yet what they wanted to do in life or what it meant. And at that age, university felt too far away, so that's how far they got. It seemed like enough planning for a lifetime. But the moment had come and it hit him that maybe it wasn't a coincidence at all. Probably they remembered to keep the promise even if unconsciously. His eyes shined in surprise and excitement.

"So you want to continue from that kiss?" He asked with a smirk on his face and without shame. The same smirk he had used hundreds of times before with other girls.

"Of course not, dumbass. It's not the same anymore." She denied with her head but couldn't avoid laughing at his carefreeness.

"Really?"

"Yeah…we already ruined it. But I guess we can start over from being friends again."

"That's…unexpected."

She shrugged. Just then realizing her heart was unusually uneasy.

"Sure. You've changed. I think it'll be nice to meet you again."

"Unfortunately, you haven't changed at all."

He laughed and Lannie felt so much lighter. It still made her feel calmer when she was with Spencer. She was glad to find out the effect hadn't vanished completely after all that time.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Five months later.<strong>_

Fay was late already. It was 6:00 p.m., it was hot, and it had been a long day. They were meeting with Filip's friends. Sneaky and Ka-boom. The boys had complained for a while about his friend abandoning them until Fay insisted on going out for dinner with them.

She looked down at her clock, forgetting once again that it was broken. There probably would be at least a little bit of scolding.

When Filip moved for college he left her with his apartment and car keys. She didn't like it. There had been even a little fight over it. And she still refused to use the car or to go into his place when he was away.

She hurried in front of the door, digging in her bag for a pair of keys that were going to be used for the first time. She finally got them but they slipped from her hands, falling soundlessly on the floor. Even thought it was impossible for them to not make any sound, given that it was metal against a wooden surface. It tangled her for a moment, but it was probably only prove of how agitated she was after all the running. When she kneeled down to get them, the door opened.

Filip crouched in front her, seeing how she was so out of breath and flustered to even pronounce a word or to move. He reached his hand to gently brush her hair off her face.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah…" Fay said a bit perplexed. Her breathing was so heavy that the lack of air was making her dizzy. Probably she had never run so much in her life, and she didn't think of repeating it either. "Yes." She added while laughing. "Are you…going somewhere?"

"No. Just opening the door for you." He answered casually.

"How did you know?"

He smiled at her expression of confusion. "I heard you of course."

"Oh…" She laughed again while looking down, feeling light headed.

"We don't have to do this. You're obviously too tired"

"No, I-I'm okay. Just give me a minute and a cold glass of water, and I'm ready to go"

He stood up and 20 seconds later walked back to the door, seeing how she didn't have any intention of standing up yet.

The girl had made herself comfortable, sitting against the door frame, with her head tilted back and holding her bag between her legs. Filip decided to join her and sat on the floor next to her.

"Why are you trying so hard?" He asked while she drank the water.

"Hard?" She questioned as if she didn't understand. "I don't think I'm trying hard…I just want to do things with you…besides, you are really busy recently so I think it's good to make different things once in a while. Don't you think so?"

He looked into her deep amber eyes. The way they gave him that wide innocent stare every time, made him think there was definitely nothing brighter than her.

"I only need you." He said, gazing at her intently. His voice was serious but gentle.

She glanced up and down, back at the empty glass between her hands.

"I just want to make things easy…for you."

"The best you can do for me is to promise me that you won't ever leave me."

She smiled widely at him and nodded.

"Never, ever leave me."

The red haired girl carefully placed the glass on the floor, kneeling up and then crawling the short distance between them to place a kiss on his lips and hug him tightly around his neck.

"Never."

She smiled shyly while sitting back and feeling a bit awkward. He stared at her, maybe for a little too long.

"Why are you looking at me that way?" She felt suddenly like asking. It had been bothering her for some time but she had decided to ignore it. Actually, until that very moment, she had not realized how much it troubled her.

"What way?"

"As if…you don't know me."

He denied with his head but didn't manage to voice an answer.

"It kind of makes me uneasy. Because…" She laced her fingers together and sighed. "So-sometimes it feels like you are somewhere else. Like your eyes are on me but you are not."

He dragged her closer, surrounding her with his arms.

"That is not possible." He spoke softly against her hair. "You are everything I ever see. And I can't stop feeling this way about you, so that's never going to change."

They stayed there, for a minute or two. Thinking, quietly trying to figure out the best way of being together, of making things easy for both of them, but without sharing their thoughts. Before she spoke again.

"We're already late…"

"I know."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Two months later.<strong>_

The green haired boy sat across the man, a glass of water in front of him. He stared at his uncle's cup of coffee. One hour had passed since he left the airport, and he was feeling really tired, although lately it wasn't an unusual state.

The meeting was necessary, not that he wanted to be there, it would obviously be better to have a nice one or two hours of sleep, drink a cup of coffee and meet Fay again. It had been two weeks since the last time he traveled, and he was way too tired already.

"A coffee would be nice." He implied softly, half begging for it, maybe it would help with his headache too. But he already knew what to expect from his uncle when being treated like a patient, as least stimulation as possible, and that included a completely silent office, and definitely not coffee.

"I think you're fine with water."

Filip pursed his lips but said no more.

"But tell me. What is going on?" Asked the blue haired man seeing at his nephew. He couldn't say he hadn't seen that spent look on the face of the young boy, because unfortunately he had. He worried him too much. He loved him, because he was like the child he never had.

"It is not working." Said the boy. His hand shook a little while reaching for the glass of water to take a drink.

"What is it that is not working?"

"Everything. Nothing. Nothing is working."

"Be more specific. You're rambling."

"My life…in general, it's like…nothing is working."

"You told me you're doing well on your studies."

"Yeah, but it's getting difficult…it used to be easy."

"That's pretty normal when you start college. We all go through that difficult stage. It's not high school anymore, a lot of people who do great at school get pretty disappointed at not being able to keep their level. But you'll definitely get used to it."

If that was all, it would be pretty simple, nothing much to worry. But looking at the boy's bloodshot eyes and pale skin wasn't really encouraging.

"That's not it. It's because I can't focus. At the beginning it was fine. But it's getting harder and harder. Like when there is so much noise that you can't even hear your own thoughts."

"And what do you think is causing this state of uneasiness?"

Filip rubbed his hands together and then placed them at his sides. He looked anxious, like he didn't know what to do. And it was rare, because he was usually so collected. Sometimes too much for a boy his age and with his past. It made people think he could handle everything, it made them forget he was just a kid. They all were so wrong.

"She is. I don't like this arrangement we made."

"We have already talked about it. You cannot let a relationship become an obsession. And you can't put the weight of everything that happens on your life on her. It's not good for her and it's definitely not good for you."

"I tried…I'm trying…"

"You can always take a rest…there is no hurry. We could work on it, here, together."

"No, I don't want to drop my studies. I know how it's gonna look. I don't want to…" He looked down as he sat up on the chair. "I don't want to scare her…or make her worry. And I definitely don't want to draw _his_ attention to my problems."

They both knew how to keep the unpleasant attention of Filip's father away, and it wasn't dropping the school he was paying for. As long as his son achieved a degree that could lead him to a good job with the help of his influences, something which he could blatantly talk about in social gatherings so everybody knew the family was still in a favorable position, they wouldn't have to hear about him.

"Then what is it that you want?"

"I want to be able to sleep a whole night again. I'm at that point again. And you know it's caused me a lot of troubles…if I'm not at peace, I can't focus, and if I can't focus I'll start to hear things, and see things again too…and then, I'll ruin everything…again."

"The nightmares…are they back?"

"Yes, I told you."

"Are you taking your medicine?"

"Yes."

"Are you, really?"

"I told you already!" He raised his voice and the regret was immediately shown in his disturbed eyes. He was so scared, he could barely handle it. "You know now is different…"

The blue haired man narrowed his eyes, giving him a side look. "You are not taking any other things aside from the medicine I give you, are you?"

Filip breathed in deeply. He needed help, he had to nod and answers all the questions, no matter what. They were common suspicions, he couldn't take it personal…since he really needed help. "No, I'm not."

"I believe you. I just have to ask."

The boy nodded, he understood, his mind was just a bit too tired and that lead to being irritable, more than usual.

"Now, what do you think will happen? Do you think she will fall for someone else? Is that what doesn't let your mind to be at ease?"

"That's not it. I trust her. I just can't be at ease…if I'm not with her. But then, when we're together…I don't think I can make good things for her…"

The man avoided to sigh. He had honestly thought they had been able to go past that compulsive behavior. He was becoming so infatuated with the girl, to the point where her happiness became his sadness, because he only wanted her to look at him, but she has a life, family, and friends. And he was being too selfish.

"And what about you? Have you perhaps found another girl that you find interesting? Or is there something you made, something you thought and you believe it will jeopardize your current relationship?"

"No." He looked at the man, skeptical, finding the question to be strange. "Nothing like that had happened."

"You have to understand that Fay is not a cure for your problems. And she's not something you can possess. She's another individual just like yourself, who is capable to love you and to let you love her back, nothing else. Don't ask more from her."

"If this keeps up…I'm scared I might hurt her." He suddenly burst out, in a way that even took Mr. Lumpkin off guard.

"Would you hurt her?"

"No…no. I don't want that to happen."

"But?"

"Some…times, I just have these thoughts, this craving…it's so sick."

"What are those thoughts about?"

"I…" He couldn't say it, it would make it too real.

The desire of making her cry. Her pretty, innocent face stained with tears. Her petite figure shaking in fear as she sobbed uncontrollably. It all made his heart race in emotion more than once, and he didn't want to admit it.

"They are more like, flashes of…images, delusions."

"Well…" There was a pause before Mr. Lumpkin continued, as he observed Filip's behavior. He looked so anxious, so unable to settle. Kind of like a person with withdrawal symptoms. "Since a while ago you had developed certain desire to harm others. The intrusive thoughts aren't new either. It was just more directed towards a masochistic impulse to numb your own feelings. Finding fun on hurting other people, and even relief if you got hurt too. But it's been controllable, when you commit yourself to it. Do you think this time is different?"

Filip nodded. The most obvious reason was that this time it was about a person he actually cared about. They both already knew that, but there had to be something else.

"Tell me, I'm here to listen. Not to judge."

He looked at his uncle and back down.

"I had never feel that intense need…to see someone crying. I hate it so much, it makes me hate myself…it's like a twisted trick from life to make me wish to harm the person I love the most. But I know it's only my fault."

"It's not necessarily that way. Have you hurt her before?"

"Yes." He clenched his teeth. It was true, very hard to admit, but true nonetheless, both physically and mentally, he had done it, more than once, even though it had been long since last time.

The affirmation made Mr. Lumpkin feel fear for the girl. She usually looked so fragile that he didn't even want to imagine what he could have done to Fay. He only found comfort on the thought that Filip couldn't have done anything too bad, at least nothing that required medical treatment, because in that case, he was almost sure he would had told him. He knew how much Filip cared about her, and he knew how much he could blame himself, and in such times of desperation he always looked for his help.

"Those times…when you accomplished what you wanted, how did that made you feel?"

"It made me feel…I wanted her more than ever…then, there was regret…unbearable."

"I don't think you would hurt her."

"How do you know?"

"I didn't say I know it." The man say and then kept silent for a moment, while thinking. It was true that he legitimately thought Filip wouldn't be able to seriously hurt Fay because of the way he tried to protect her even from himself. But he couldn't avoid the fact that Filip had to handle his impulses because they both knew he was potentially dangerous, and if anything were to happen to Fay the consequences would be appalling. That fact alone would destroy the boy, but at that point, his uncle would find himself obliged to keep him away from her, and that's when things would go downhill. And he too, wanted to protect the girl, because she was a marvelous kid with a great heart that didn't deserve anything bad happening to her. So he had to find a solution.

"For now, I want you to take therapy with another doctor. I already know someone who would be perfect."

"Why? I don't want to…"

"Filip. Let's be real. You had never taken therapy with me seriously. You only talk to me seriously when you are at your limit. Like today. But now you'll do it for her. Am I right?" The man talked seriously, using a severe tone that was really rare on him.

"Yes."

"Good. Now, you use to focus yourself in your studies when you are distressed to keep occupied, and that's fine to some extent, but I don't want you to stress over it, take a moment for yourself."

There was no answer but he knew Filip was listening, he was just trying to take everything in.

"About Fay…How do you think she's doing? Do you want me to talk to her?"

"I don't know…I don't think that's necessary." He breathed in deeply and then continued. "She just look so happy every time I see her, it's like she even shines. It makes me feel weird…somehow uneasy. Like she's gonna blind me…"

"Don't overthink it. You're just being selfish. If she looks so happy it's because she misses you. So don't try to pull her down, instead make her shine even more. You're both too young. Stop thinking like you don't have more time left. You think you're such a grown up and you think you're so independent, but you can't just go and do whatever you want, and you can't handle everything on your own. So take it slow and try to enjoy what you have, you'll see that's better than binding her to you. Do you understand?"

"I guess."

"I know you do."

* * *

><p><strong>I had to cut it here because it was already too long. Also, I didn't have the time to edit as much as I wanted, maybe later, but I updated anyway since it's been so long. Thanks for reading! :3<strong>


	29. Chapter 29

**New chapter, finally! Thank you so much for reading :)**

**Your lovely reviews are really inspiring. **

**I've been feeling a bit down lately and writing actually made me feel a lot better (even though it distracts me for doing the things I'm supposed to be doing right now :P)**

**Anyway…the end is close so hopefully I'll work on this more regularly (I know I've said that before, but I'm trying) :33**

p.s. for guest: It's already too late to add some SpencerxFay, sorry random and nice stranger. I actually wanted something to happen there too, but was afraid it'd make Fay look bad, you know.

p.s. for kiona koch: your name is the cutest thing.

* * *

><p>After denying reality for as long as she managed, it finally hit her, a chaotic morning of a lot of yelling and bawling, and people trying to calm down the outraged girl that was about to get expelled. And the feeling was way worse than Fay thought it would be.<p>

It was a bright and sunny day. But it actually felt more like uncomfortably hot and humid. Gili was late, so there was no way someone else could settle down the outraged girl that Petunia was made into that morning.

The principal office was the scenario and Fay felt like an unwanted guest even thought she was supposed to be the star of the show. Instead, Petunia did all the yelling, demanding and accusing.

It all started around a month earlier. First, the texts on Fay's phone lessened to barely one every other day. He was probably too busy with his studies, is what she thought, so she kept quiet. Next, there were the texts saying he couldn't visit for a week or two, which made her notably uneasy, but she knew to be patient. She was still reasonable enough to realize things had to change.

But then, there was nothing. Just waiting, until Petunia exploded and decided to fume about the principal and his whole damned family right in his office.

Fay thought it was the end, that they both were going to get expelled, but after a talk with Mr. Lumpkin accompanied with Gili, Petunia was left off with only a warning of respecting and not mixing personal problems with the school grounds. The blue haired girl had to apologize a couple of times and he promised to have a talk with her later, only if she promised to keep her composure.

Why were her friends and not herself the ones getting mad and asking for answers was something that Fay questioned over and over again. But the only thought was that she had lost her own voice. Not as in being unable to speak, but as in being unable to find it. Her voice. It was nowhere, she couldn't hear it, sense it, anything. It was really lost. And that made her feel detached, from everything, from everyone, even from herself.

After a week of dealing with a painfully depressed Fay, Petunia was finally conceded with that talk she wanted so much. Although she didn't get what she expected from it, but still did nicely at staying calm.

Edmund Lumpkin offered to make an appointment for Fay with someone _to talk._ But Fay didn't accept it. She didn't want to talk about how she felt with anybody.

She just couldn't understand why her boyfriend, who texted her all the time and called her everyday, wasn't able to pick up a phone and tell her he was fine, or that he wasn't going to see her anymore, whether because he didn't want to or because he couldn't. That was all.

But everything was still as vague as before.

'_Yes, he won't be coming back'._

'_But no, he didn't mean to break up with her'._

'_It's not a matter of cowardice or not. He just can't be here right now, and that's all'._

'_He's not hiding, what is happening is not because he wants it'._

'_No, he's physically fine'._

'_And no, there's nothing you and I can do about it'._

'_Finally, and unfortunately, no, from now on, there's no way for you to talk with him. And nobody knows for how long it will be that way'._

For Fay, it sounded like nothing, she didn't expect less, she didn't expect more. It kind of felt like she knew it was going to happen. For the girls it just sounded like a ridiculous and shameless excuse, but more than anything, it seemed shady.

* * *

><p>Later that day, at Mr. Lumpkin's place, Amanda hesitated for a minute before entering the man's office. His character was usually lively, but not anymore, and probably not for a while.<p>

His blue eyes focused on his laptop's screen. His right hand motionless over the keyboard, his left hand, holding a glass of whisky.

The woman walked in the room and sat silently across him. She eyed the glass in a rather curious way. Contrary to common believe, caused by his perky and bizarre behavior, Mr. Lumpkin rarely ever drank.

"How was your day?" She asked as casually as she could, while anxiously and lightly rubbing the chair armrests.

"As good as yesterday and the day before."

"So, not good." She noted and he didn't reply, so she continued. "What did you tell them?"

"I assured them he's fine. But I also told them right now he is having some troubles therefore he can't come back."

"And is he really fine?"

"His life is not in danger." He answered in a dry way.

"That doesn't mean he's fine." Amanda argued quietly. She knew it was not the man's fault, but it still didn't seem like he was doing enough.

"Well, that's all I can do for now."

"What are you going to do with Fay?"

"Nothing. She stays here."

"Do you really think that's the best decision?"

"Amanda, you know I'm doing my best." He replied in a clipped tone of voice, and it didn't surprise her. As weird as this kind of behavior was on him, she had being around for long enough to have witnessed all kinds of possible mood changes from him and the better part of his family. Because even though Ed could be considered as a weird person, he definitely wasn't the worst of the family.

"I know…It just feels a bit unfair for her."

"Unfair would be dragging her into this madness." He stated and she just stared as if still not understanding. The way she felt about Fay didn't allow her to approve of the way he was dealing with the situation. "What do you think will happen when I tell her the truth? What would she feel when she finds out where he is? Even if she gets to see him, even if I take her there…what would happen when she finds out there is absolutely nothing she can do for him? What will happen if she crashes with my brother? Even her life could be in danger if it occurs to her to be reckless. So yes, I'm pretty sure, this is the fairest of the decisions."

The woman pursed her lips together and brushed her blonde locks behind her ears. And after a deep breath she talked again.

"I'm just…worried."

He understood, more than anyone else. Amanda had created an incredible bond with the two kids. And it was reasonable, because she took a big part of the looking after them, plus she was a really caring person. It all changed for better when Fay came into Filip's and her life. She never said it out loud, but the boy actually scared her a little before. Not anymore. Their relationship changed completely, and she came to care for Fay so much that she had to actually fight the urge of running to her and tell her the whole truth.

"Look…he's like a son to me so you know I'll do my best". He sighed and made a pause to silently place the glass on the desk. His eyes skimming briefly around the room as if thinking of the right words to say what he was thinking. "Fay...is weak just in appearance. I've talked with her and I've talked with different people about her, and contrary to what you may think, she's amazingly strong. She and Filip, both have had a hard time when it comes to family and the people around them, and there, you can see how much stronger she is. She has never broken down. She have been depressed, and she have felt alone, and very scared, yet it never stopped her from simply living. And then comes Filip, and you know how it is the first time you fall in love at that age, and she thinks he makes her happy and everyone else sees her and gets dragged into that believe, like he's the one who protects her and makes her strong and better, but the thing is, she's already that strong and that able to be happy by herself. And contrary to what she thinks he makes her weak, he's the one able to drag her down with him, and he knew it, that's why he was so worried. For that reason, right now, it's best if she tries to overcome it. Under these circumstances, it's positive that she won't forget about him. But she can still go on. That's all I can ask for."

The woman nodded and left quietly, feeling defeated, not by his words but by the whole situation. There were few people who could do something about it, and she was not one of them.

* * *

><p>For Fay, there were a lot of phases. Like a lot of different states of her life happening in a very short span of time.<p>

The first two months when Filip just started to gradually disappear, were nerve-wracking but she still didn't grasp the idea of it being real, so the denial helped her to endure for a while.

Then the worst phase came over, when the answers were nowhere to be found, and the only thing that was for sure was that the boy was not going to appear before her any time soon. It lasted for about a month and it permanently felt like the world was crumbling around her. Her friends and her grades took the major part of it.

With Petunia's character, it was no surprise when she lost it before the impotence of not being able to help and told Fay how she despised Filip, let alone the fact that her friend was made a mess because of him. She told how she never liked the way he treated her and how she was actually scared all the time that he would hurt Fay, so it was impossible to understand just how she could love so much a person like him. Later she felt awful.

Unexpectedly, Fay agreed with her, which took her two friends completely off guard. But still she didn't come out with any explanation.

Just thinking back, she wasn't too pleased with the way he treated her neither. Blocking all the things she liked and loved, and the way he cared about her she started to resent him. That's when the hating phase started. Nobody could say it was the best, but at least it fired her up enough to collect herself, work on her studies just in time for college entrance exams, and appear to be getting better.

But from then on it was just a roller coaster.

There were days when it felt like she was dying. There were days she got weary of that mournful state of self-pitying and decided to straighten up and keep going. There were a lot of sleepless nights, and a lot nightmares. There were sudden impulses to cry for no apparent reason and days she just wanted to disappear. It was assured to her that he was fine, and she honestly didn't think Mr. Lumpkin would lie to her if something bad had happened, because there would be no reason for it. But the constant worry was still present, all the time. There's nothing worse than the uncertainty of not knowing and sometimes it drove her crazy.

And some other days there was just disbelief. The inability of grasping the idea of not having the most important person for her in her life anymore. It made her think none of it was real, and maybe, those were the worst kind of days, because the anxiety would take over her, she wouldn't stand any word from anyone, she became moody, scared and desperate, and when the night finally arrived, he still wasn't there, and she couldn't wait anymore, because it was just her, holding onto a non-existing hope and the only thing left inside was despair.

* * *

><p>A couple of months later, and after a lot of struggles with herself, Fay had packed and was ready to go.<p>

The relief of finally leaving her house was the best part of it. She finally had the possibility of ending the relationship that tied her to her mom, a relationship that was a bother for both of them.

There were still moments she felt utterly pained by the way things were in her family. She wished to have that loving family with a father at the doorstep with a proud smile on his face, a brother that traveled back home just to hug you so hard it hurt and a crying mother unable to stop the tears of sorrow the moment her little girl was finally going away. Just like Gili's family.

Fay had to make a huge effort to not end up bawling her eyes out at the scene, aside from being really moving, it made her life feel completely empty.

Fortunately, Fay's grandmother had a fund for Fay's studies and fortunately, Gili and she were going to the same college. It was an exciting and scary experience, so having a friend to share it was more than she could ask for.

But before everything, she had one last thing to do.

"Are you sure you want to go alone?" Asked Gili a bit impatient.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I already told Amanda I was going." The red haired girl muttered with her eyes downcast, unable to meet with her friend's concerned stare asking to accompany her. "She told me I didn't have to ask for permission." She added rapidly with half a smile. It was somewhat painful how Amanda and Mr. Lumpkin still treated her like she was part of the family.

Half an hour later, Fay was in front of the door, her key in the doorknob and her heart aching and thumping like crazy.

After taking two steading deep breaths, she entered the apartment, _his_ apartment.

She immediately regretted it.

Fay walked in slowly, taking in all the things she already knew and that was hopping to not see ever again. Everything was exactly as she remembered it, looking like no one had touched one single thing. Obviously it had been cleaned regularly like usual, which added to the odd familiar sensation. Even so, his absence made it all different.

She sighed again and her hand ran over the breakfast bar as she walked beside it. She dropped the key on top of it with the intention of leaving it there and never looking back.

All she wanted was to see the whole place one last time, but didn't imaging just how heart breaking it would be. Her entire being shivered and the silence reached the deepest of her mind.

Reeling back, she bumped into the kitchen island. Her knees shook, and finally gave into the cold floor. That's how far she managed to get.

Now sat down against the wall, she hugged her knees, crying her heart out. Her head rose to see around, the nicely brighten place that once felt like home. Closing her eyes she laid her head on top of her knees, feeling hopeless and like a fool for going back there.

Not daring to look into anything else, she decided to go but stopped half way.

She gazed at the key resting on top of the table. The little object felt like an archenemy that was going to make her whole life impossible and miserable. Yet, she couldn't leave it behind. With a determination that didn't seem her own, she grabbed the key and walked out of the place.


	30. Chapter 30

**Yep, two new chapters. A miracle :P**

**Hope you like it!**

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><p>By the end of her first semester Fay was handling her life as best as she could.<p>

Living with Gili had been a great idea. They both got a part time job at a coffee shop so they were pretty busy everyday. But when sharing their free time they really enjoyed each other's company. However there were times when she just couldn't help it.

The red haired girl tried not to worry her friend all the time, but it was becoming too tiring. It was tiring hiding in the bathroom to break into tears and later come out to share awkward moments when the two of them faked Gili didn't know she had been crying. It was tiring seeing the guilt in her friend's eyes every time she went out on a date with her boyfriend from a now long distant relationship every time Cody traveled to see her, because she felt she shouldn't leave Fay alone. But most of all, it was tiring thinking that even after more than half a year later, she still couldn't let go.

In spite of the situation, she still received texts from Amanda asking how she was doing. And truth be told, they weren't very welcomed. Fay was coping so far, but she honestly had not idea for how long she would manage. Because forgetting wasn't really going to happen.

But there were still those times before entirely waking up in the mornings, when she was all dazzled and couldn't think of anything really. Those few seconds when she didn't even know who she was, when she didn't remember about him, and most glorious of all, when she didn't remember he was gone.

Those were probably the only moments when she didn't feel a weight pressing on her chest, but they didn't last.

* * *

><p>Five hours away from Fay's new home, was Mr. Lumpkin walking into an imposing building located at 30 miles from the city.<p>

From outside it looked like a dream. Large green surroundings providing a lovely and relaxing landscape with tall trees, mowed lawn, hedges neatly trimmed and flower beds full of exotic flowers. There were tables, benches and fields perfectly placed for recreational activities, which lost all purpose since they were mostly empty. The main building was ten years old at most, but the design featured the merging of modern and Victorian style that made a master piece of the whole construction.

However, Edmund Lumpkin knew just what horror this beautiful place held inside.

As expected, he was nicely welcomed by a man in blue clothes called Jimmy, one of the assistants at the hospital, who lead him through an unnecessarily long corridor with big windows at each side instead of walls. It connected the main building with another of their facilities.

After entering the second place, he followed the blue clothed man closely until he came into a halt in front of one of the many doors.

Lumpkin walked in the cold room with blinding white walls. There was a bed in the right side and a plain desk at its left with a simple black covered notebook on top.

His nephew lied on the bed absently staring upward. His clothes were white like everything else, which added to the sickly pail shade of his skin.

The boy lied with his arms extended without seeming to notice the presence of the two people in his room.

His uncle walked slowly to the desk and opened the notebook only to find all of the pages in blank.

"You can get closer. Don't worry. He's not dangerous, at least not anymore." Spoke Jimmy in high spirits as if he were an expert.

The man gave him a side glance avoiding an exchange of words. Of course he knew he wasn't dangerous, because he was not a caged wild animal, even though he was being treated like one. He was just his nephew, his highly sedated nephew.

But Edmund already knew the place. Unfortunately he knew the expensive looking place with good reputation among the upper class, and the way things worked there. He took the chair from the desk and placed it in front of the bed to sit there.

"Hello Filip." He said with a calm tone.

The green haired boy didn't answer.

"Do you recognize me?"

"Yeah." Filip replied, and contrary to what his uncle expected his voice didn't sound like the slurred speech of a person that was being constantly medicated, but still the man wasn't sure he was actually listening to him.

"I think I'm gonna see her today." Filip continued and with the increase in the use of words the slight dragging of his tongued started to be perceptible.

"He has this thing." Jimmy added in explanation as the large set of keys swirled between his fingers. "Kind of like an imaginary friend. That's all he ever talks about, but it never makes sense".

Ed didn't even feel surprised by the level of professionalism of the staff. As before, he opted to ignore him.

"She didn't want to see me, but it's alright now that we talked about it."

"Who didn't want to see you? Someone you know?" Lumpkin asked.

"No, it's alright now Ed." Filip added with a still expressionless face. "She told me so."

At that moment he tried to move to one side, still absentmindedly, as if trying to reach for something in front of him and forgetting the manacle on his hand that would obstruct the action. The handcuffs that his uncle hadn't seen were holding onto his right hand and rattled against the bed side rail with the sudden movement. It didn't seem to disturb him, instead he stayed quietly in his place again.

"I'm taking you out of here. Okay?" Lumpkin cooed. After all, that's what he had come to do.

**_-One day before-_**

Edmund Lumpkin walked into his older brother's office determined to cut all ties with him. The man's days on the military were long behind and now he dedicated his time to diligently make money with a well-known construction firm. With family businesses and with their parents giving them their share of assets to be able to overlook their sons from the best of their lives, the two bothers didn't really have the need to work hard for a living. Ed ended up in Happy Tree because after getting bored to dead working as a psychotherapist in his own office and having a couple of jobs as counselor in different institutions he had decided the school was a job he enjoyed and a place he came to love. But the eldest brother did it simply because he always needed more.

Without many formalities and going straight to the point the younger brother informed of his decision.

"I'm going for Filip and I'm taking him with me." He announced.

After finally dropping the folder he was holding, the man turned his attention to his brother, staring at him with a sardonic smile.

"I don't want him outside. He's a hazard."

"He's far from a hazard. He was fine with me."

"He threatened with killing me, in front of a lot of people. He injured three of my men as they tried to get his hands away from me." The man narrated as he arched a brow with an air of self-sufficiency.

"I wonder, what you did to cause that reaction."

"You told me he was seeing this girl."

"Yes? So? Did you forbid him to see her?"

"No, I just advised him to stop wasting his time and my money in his little gold digger when a call girl was going to save him a lot more of those".

"Oh, for Christ's sake." Edmund replied clearly disgusted by his brother's words. "Your foulness never stops to amaze me. Really, I'm surprised he didn't actually kill you."

"Exactly. That's why I don't think leaving him in your hands is going to do me any better."

"Because the whole point of this situation is what's better for you." The younger brother complained, raising his voice. "Look. I don't care what means you use. But I'm going to take him with me and you won't have to hear of us ever again."

"I need him." The man said in a severe tone, which only indicated that he was starting to take his brother word seriously.

"The way he is now, he won't be of any use to you. He'll just be a constant expend of medical fees for the rest of his life. Unless you get rid of him, and I swear to God, if you dare to kill him, you'll have to hurry and kill me too, because I've collected more than a couple of interesting documents you won't want out in the public eye".

The eldest brother glared at him but didn't reply, giving him space to continue with his speech.

"This construction firm you've been working so hard on. Well, there are some rather interesting files about the modification of structural designs in order to save money. And I'm no expert, but they look pretty much far from the security law standards. I'm sure if someone gets to know about it, no one would want to live in any of those amazing complexes you had built. You'll have to compensate thousands of people, your constructions will lose all their value and your firm will go bankrupt."

They looked into each other eyes, and Ed spotted the anger raising in his brother's blood. The way his fists and jaw clenched tightly and the pale of his face darkening first to a light pink and then to a sickly grey didn't go unnoticed. And since his bother didn't seem to find anything to add, he spoke one last time.

"So…you can start looking for a little heir somewhere else." And with that, he took off.

* * *

><p>"Place this order for me please." Fay dryly asked the boy who was standing at the counter of the coffee shop from where he was eyeing her in a rather unpleasant way.<p>

It was rainy season so it had been pouring all day. The sky was covered in dull grey clouds and the only sound aside for the murmurs from the couple of tables where bored students waited for the water to stop, were the splashes from the rain against the windows.

Work had obviously been too slow but it wasn't excuse for the boy to be slacking off. Although everyone was used to it already, Fay was just bothered by the way he stared at her.

"Sure." He answered simply as a smug smile flashed across his face.

As he took the little paper from her, their fingers brushed together slightly, a touch that sent chills down her spine. She spun around rapidly and didn't give him a second glance.

Being another time, Fay would avoid the boy completely and blush at every encounter. But she had changed, and among the people who worked at the shop only Gili could tell. Although it was a rather good part of her change, it helped her a lot to deal with obnoxious people. People like him.

His name was Scott, he started his work there about the same time Fay and Gili did, maybe a couple of weeks earlier, but only that was enough for him to act with the sufficiency of a person who was above and beyond the other employees for some reason.

The owner of the place was a beautiful but rather dumb middle aged woman, so his crooked smile and charming eyes were quite enough for him to get away with it in a lot of aspects.

Scott, was a boy who reminded Fay so much of Spencer that it was scary. Not only they looked alike in physical appearance, even though instead of blue Scott's hair was red, but just as her friend, this new person seemed to be prone to get improperly familiar with girls, only this one was way worst.

He would spend the major part of his shifts hitting on different girls, but still always saved time to bother Fay. It wasn't rare, since it was the same with every girl that he found appealing. It had been the same with Gili and it had been the same with every other girl who worked there. But with the red haired girl was different, he had this fascination for her that even he couldn't explain. Maybe it was the way her expressive eyes shone when she smiled, or how her personality changed from quiet and serious to absolutely adorable and lively when she spoke with Gili and thought nobody else was listening. He particularly liked the way she tied her hair in a high ponytail for work, in an attempt at keeping it under control, even though a few strands would always fall loose, framing her face. He simply found her unique, and it caught his interest.

His several failed attempts to ask her out and flirt with her were entertainment for Gili. He had even tried getting the pink haired girl to help him with Fay, to what he had obviously received an emphatic no.

There was a night when he tried to force a kiss on Fay, because of course, that had worked before. She blushed and stuttered a couple of words which he stupidly took as a sign of her actually liking him to the point of making her that nervous. That, until he was about to proceed and her eyes started to fill with tears as she clutched desperately at his shirt with the hand she had previously placed on his chest trying to stop his proximity. The sole image made his heart ache and then he stopped, and never tried to even touch her again.

"I swear I'm gonna marry that girl one day." Scott stated earnestly.

Gili sneered at him as she sat behind the counter after attending her table. There were times when she honestly didn't know if cry or laugh out loud at the stupidity of his words, because as shameless as the guy was, she knew he truthfully liked Fay.

"Are you for real? Who do you think is gonna take you seriously when you get out of here with a different girl every day." Gili responded to his delusional choice of words.

"What? I'm just having my share of fun. The day she falls for me I'll forget all about that."

"Yeah…very romantic."

"Gili…" He said and the girl didn't notice the way his face changed from conceited to serious even though it was an unusual expression on him.

"Hn?"

"How is this boyfriend she has?" He asked in a seemingly disinterested way.

One random day by a slip of the tongue Gili had told him to stop bothering Fay because she had a boyfriend. When questioned about it, a confused Fay babbled that she didn't, then adding that she actually did but wasn't too sure about it. Which everyone understood as a common _complicated_ relationship, which a lot of times, didn't count as a real relationship.

"I don't know…he's nothing like you, that's for sure." Gili answered reluctantly and feeling suddenly uncomfortable with the change of topic.

"C'mon, I'm serious."

"Yeah, I want to know too." Added with unhidden interest the girl who popped from the kitchen door to join the conversation. Lisa, a nice girl that Gili and Fay had befriended at the shop. She was tall and had short light purple hair.

Gili shrugged as she fixed the red bow that held her short pink locks in a high ponytail. "Pretty eyes. Rich family. Smart." She added in a dull tone not very sure of how to describe him aside from the trivial aspects.

"Perfect guy, huh?" Lisa beamed a bit too excited at hearing about this mysterious person her friend seemed to like so much.

"Hmm...I wouldn't say perfect. He was a bit too…cold." She said absently not finding a better adjective to what he seemed to her. "More like too serious, a bit scary. Not with Fay though, they did look perfect together."

Contrary to Petunia, Gili had come to like Filip a long time ago. She just loved the way they interacted. It was usual to see Filip surprising Fay in the school corridors only to be received with a bright smile and a light blush to what he would respond with a peck on her forehead or lips or a tight hug before disappearing again to wherever he was heading. They looked happy, there were no need for other words to describe it. That's why she didn't understand what happened. It was like being mesmerized by looking at a lovely looking balloon drifting through the air, floating free towards the sky when suddenly it popped, and disappeared, just like that. Maybe because it flew too high.

"Did?" Asked Scott with sudden interest interrupting her train of thought.

"Let it go. It's…complicated." Gili said even though she didn't think so, it was simply over, but she didn't feel comfortable talking about it. Plus, it was useful if Scott believed it.

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><p>That same afternoon, right before finishing her shift, Fay received a new text from Amanda. She wanted to meet. And after thinking about it for a couple of minutes the red haired girl told her it was okay. There was an instant reply from Amanda saying she would be at her home by 8 pm.<p>

The girl breathed in sharply, feeling a rush of conflicting emotions within her, and hoping it was good news.

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><p><strong>Until next chapter! 3<strong>


	31. Chapter 31

**Hello again ^^**

**Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews :DD I seriously love you guys :'D**

**And that last anon (pon), like omg, you're the cutest thing x3**

**Chapter 31**

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><p>"What am I supposed to do now?" Asked Fay, her voice sounded a lot steadier than she expected. She was sitting in the living room of her house with Gili at her side; Amanda was across them, smiling but clearly anxious. There was a coffee table in the middle of the room with three untouched glasses of water.<p>

Amanda had told everything to Fay and Gili. From Filip's relapse and the fight with his father, to the consequences of his behavior and the day Ed had finally managed to take him back home. And the last two months that he had spent recovering.

Amanda's words dissolved into a rush of anxiety and surprise, mixed with tons of unanswered questions but all summed up to Mr. Lumpkin's decision of what was better for everyone.

"You just do what you feel is better. I know I should not ask you to drop everything and come with me. But...I would like you to visit him." Said Amanda sheepishly, half-expecting Fay to yell at her. Maybe all of this came up as a shock, but what was more shocking was Fay's expression, her amber eyes were blazing in such a way that it was hard to know if she was going to cry or explode with anger.

Fay finally decided to look at Gili, loosening the crushing grip around her hand. Their eyes met as if expecting an answer to pop up in the middle of the two.

Amanda drank from her glass, feeling impatient. Her attempt at trying to help was resulting a much stressing task than she had imagined. "Only if you want to, of course."

The wind rattled against the windows announcing the upcoming storm, the light flickered for a few seconds, and the air around the room went down a couple degrees, though Fay did not take notice of any of this. Her mind was racing, thinking fast.

"Why…hasn't he called me?" She asked, grabbing Gili's hand once more, at what the pink haired girl grimaced a little but said nothing.

"I think you should ask him directly." Replied Amanda, feeling more hopeful. Maybe it wasn't an impossible mission after all.

"I get why you think it's better that way…but…I don't know. What if he doesn't really want to see me anymore?"

"I know it's not easy. But you trusted me once. Trust me this time. I promise you won't regret it." She assured with her best fake smile.

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><p>"You're back early." Say Filip at his uncle's arrival. He had been reading a few of his college books. The idea was to resume his studies as soon as possible, although he was only doing it in order to please Edmund. In reality he didn't feel too eager about studying again, still he couldn't deny that it kept his mind busy, thus helping him with his recovery.<p>

"Yeah, there was not much to do today." Said the man eyeing Filip warily, something that he didn't notice. "How are you doing?"

"Fine. Where's Amanda? I haven't seen her today." Asked the boy distractedly.

"She's with Fay." Said Lumpkin as casually as if he were giving the hour.

Filip's breath caught in his throat. "What did you say?" He stuttered stupidly, looking around to find his uncle placing his suitcase on the dinner table and sitting across him. He looked calm, but he also seemed ready to take everything that came over him.

"I said she's with Fay."

Filip's heart haven't beaten so hard in a long time, his palms suddenly felt awfully moist and cold, and his thought process stopped completely if only for one second. Not being ready, that's how it felt.

Among all the news he could get, hearing about Fay would be the best. It had been two months since he had gotten back to Ed's house. At the beginning, even if he didn't remember about it, between drowsy words, and the agony of withdrawal effects, he would ask for Fay at least twice a day, or so Amanda said. After a while, he stopped asking.

It didn't mean he had forgotten her, and it didn't mean she didn't matter. It meant he was afraid of that haunting feeling he couldn't shake off. A feeling of an unfamiliar world where she could grow and be happy away from him.

Although he couldn't say he didn't see it coming. Around two weeks earlier the topic had come up and he had been warned. Even if he said leaving her by herself was better, his uncle was right to say that sooner rather than later, there would come the day when he would regret it, and being impulsive as he was, it would end up with him going after her when it was already too late, trying to impose, and hurting her even more.

But he wasn't ready, and probably he would never be. It was meant to drive him crazy eventually. Therefore, it was probably better to get over with it.

When his limbs seemed to come to life again, he stood up. "Did you drag her back here?" He asked, feeling the rage crawling up his body.

"I did not."

"Then when is she going to come?"

Ed laughed lightly, without much enthusiasm, as he made his way to walk out of the room. "Eager, aren't we?"

"Don't you dare play games with me…you know what you're doing."

"Okay. I'm sorry. Just give it sometime." And he walked away. Relieved that Filip had somehow accepted the news, but still he didn't dare to confess, that they had tried bringing Fay the day before, but she couldn't handle it. A panic attack, two paper bags, and a cup of tea later, she was too exhausted to try again.

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><p>The moment she entered the room, her head felt dizzy from the sound of her pulse thumping rapidly in her ears.<p>

Amanda promised her she was going to stay with her if she needed it.

It felt like everyone was making a big deal out of it. As if they were arranging a meeting between two dangerous inmates, and Fay wasn't sure she felt very comfortable with that. She knew Mr. Lumpkin was around in the house, even though she had yet to see him. It was probably to make her feel a bit more at ease, without so many eyes on her. However, there was also the nurse.

According to Amanda, they hired a nurse called Emily to help taking care of Filip when he got back. But, because the two seemed to get along so well, they decided to _keep her_. Those were the words she used, and Fay understood what she meant when seeing them together. She watched their interactions with interest from the balcony one story above; it felt like spying, but she just wanted to see him once before coming face to face.

Emily was young, she didn't use a nurse uniform, and she reminded her a lot of Gili. Cheerful and bright. Which she wouldn't relate with Filip, if it weren't because they did seem to get along very well. That didn't help either.

Ten minutes later the time had come. Fay felt her lungs short of air, her mouth dry, her eyes prickling, but she was determined to get it over. She took a deep breath that seemed to struggle to get down her throat and sat down, staring at her white and trembling hands clasped in her lap, prepared for the worst.

The fact that he chose to sit at the other side of the room instead of taking the seat next to her, the way he avoided to look at her, and the girl who walked in behind him were all unnerving. Her stomach gave a somersault and her heart felt like it was sinking in her chest. She couldn't say Filip looked different. He still looked like she remembered him, maybe a bit thinner, but he seemed the same intimidating person she'd met about two years before. Emily was smiling brightly behind him but Fay didn't manage to smile back. She felt bad about it, but she couldn't help feeling jealousy.

The clock ticked the seconds away while everyone remained silent. Finally, Amanda cleared her throat and said she was going to leave them alone to talk, making an overacted signal for Emily to follow her. Fay only nodded in approval and sunk a little deeper in her seat.

The amount of time that took him to look at her felt painfully long. His eyes twitched slightly as they posed on her, his stare scarily dark, and she wondered if she would ever get used to it.

What he probably attempted to be a smile pulled his lips in a weird way, making him look like he was in pain. She wondered what kind of face she would be making at that moment, hoping she wasn't crying or cringing already. What she didn't know was that for the moment, among the shock and the burst of feelings, her face registered nothing but composure. She would be secretly proud actually, finding she was finally able to match his game. They could as well look as enemies battling in a staring contest before a deadly attack.

Filip, with his elbow prompted on the armrest, his face resting on his palm and his breathing steady, tried a second time and successfully directed her a polite smile, very unlike him. A smile flickered over her face, while fighting to keep the painful lump in her throat under control.

She prepared herself to talk first but he beat her to it when taking a deep breath and talking rapidly. _"You look different."_ Were his first words.

"Really?" She asked quietly. Her voice barely a whisper. "How so?"

"Are you nervous?"

She swallowed, wanting to say that she was indeed very nervous, but a nod had to be enough. Her heart rate increased and she didn't dare to talk.

"I couldn't tell." He replied with a smirk but his eyes softened. "…it used to be easy." He explained after a pause.

She pondered the words for a while and he just waited patiently, his eyes never leaving her, studying, remembering, filling in gaps, trying to know her again.

"I've…I've just become better at hiding my feelings I guess." She said as she crossed her arms over her chest and averted his stare, feeling more and more uncomfortable.

"How are you feeling right now then?" He asked.

Fay noticed the change in his attitude immediately, and she didn't like it. His previous smile turned into a perfectly conceited smirk. His eyes were shinning in a way she remembered from the times when he wanted to play with her.

"How are _you_ feeling?" She asked on the defensive.

Fay had made a huge effort in preparing herself for the worst, but just then she realized she was still keeping meaningless hopes. That was definitely not the reunion she had in mind.

"Can't you tell?"

"No. But I've never been able to, so at least we know something that hasn't changed."

His smile widened but his eyes narrowed in such a dangerous way, that it made it look like he utterly hated her. A look that hurt her so deeply she regretted every step that took her there, to that very moment.

"What do you want from me?" She inquired not being able to stop the shaking of her voice as her eyes filled with tears. She bit hard on her bottom lip and then wiped her cheeks with a rough swipe of her fingers. "You're killing me." She added between clenched teeth.

He denied with his head bringing his hand to cover his mouth. His eyes burned suddenly and he blinked.

"I don't know what I'm doing." The words came out muffled because of the pressure of his palm on his lips.

She laughed. A choked sound of desperation threatening with causing a whole lot of pain.

The room fell silent, the dimming light of the evening sipping through the balcony added to the suffocating sensation gnawing at her throat. Fay buried her face in her palms while he sighed deeply and shakily across the room.

He closed the distance between them and sat next to her.

The first thing she felt was his cold touch around her wrist pulling her closer. Later she wouldn't remember crying as hard as she had ever cried. She would just remember the familiar feeling of being hugged by the person she loved.

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><p><strong>Well then, thank you for reading :)<strong>

**Until next chapter (hopefully the last one, yay~)**


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